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Ubisoft E3 2016 conference live report

Yves! Aisha! French quirkiness! Live from 9pm BST.

Ubisoft, traditionally, offers the quirkiest conference of them all, and we don't think 2016 will disappoint. There'll be some games as well, we hope, in the shape of Watch Dogs 2, Ghost Recon Wildlands and a special all-new IP being unveiled during the show. And there'll always be little tiny Yves to cheer on as well.

Our live coverage of this event has finished.

Coverage
IronSoldier: "Yves! Aisha! French quirkiness!" ...and hostile takeover bids by Vivendi?!

I'd be very impressed if that aggression extended to them attempting a takeover *during* an E3 press conference.

Martin Robinson

Anyway, we're live here in just under an hour. Join us, why don't you?

Martin Robinson

Every year, my heart breaks a little when I realise we're not going to get a return for Mr. Caffeine.

Martin Robinson

Aaron Priceman really is the hero E3 needs right now, and the one he deserves and all that.

Martin Robinson

Martin Robinson

Ep1cN3ss1e: When is it on? Would be nice to put the starting time on these pages. I see "the show will begin shortly" on the video.

9pm BST.

Martin Robinson

Hello from inside the lovely Orpheum Theatre in Downtown LA, where we're being treated to a typically bizarre pre-show.

Tom Phillips

Ubisoft is 30 this year so we have been treated to Ubi developers talking about turning 30 which was actually quite sweet. I turn 30 next year so it's reassuring to see all of these 30+ year olds looking alive and well.

Tom Phillips

Tom Phillips

dogmanstaruk: Any rumours about Creed being shown off?

Not that I've heard - Ubisoft may be keen to give the franchise's incessant PR cycle a clean break.

Tom Phillips

I did find this in the lobby though...

Tom Phillips

Tom Phillips

That's the suit from the movie. Will the Fass be making an appearance this afternoon?

Tom Phillips

The Orpheum Theatre really is the loveliest. It's the one thing I genuinely miss when not out at E3.

Martin Robinson

We're abandoning the PC gaming show - which has seen a fine succession of games - to turn our attention to Ubisoft's conference, which is just kicking off.

Martin Robinson

And we are live.

Martin Robinson

Starting with Just Dance, because they know where it's at. Gawd bless Ubisoft.

Martin Robinson

I'd be happy if it's just 90 more minutes of this, to be honest.

Martin Robinson

Is this the first musical number for E3 this year?

Tom Phillips

There is a lion and a giraffe and glitter and it really is the greatest thing.

Martin Robinson

I'm not even joking - what a wonderful reminder how silly and fun games are.

Martin Robinson

Ubisoft, don't ever, ever change.

Martin Robinson

You be you, Ubisoft. You be you.

Oli Welsh

I absolutely love Aisha Tyler.

Tom Phillips

And the line-up has just leaked. I won't mention it here, because I know you might not want spoilers.

Martin Robinson

But it looks good!

Martin Robinson

We're taking a moment to remember the victims of Orlando. Big applause.

Tom Phillips

An NX announcement too! Just Dance 2017 is coming to Nintendo's new console.

Martin Robinson

I think that's the first announcement from a western publisher for NX?

Martin Robinson

Aisha is really bringing it.

Martin Robinson

AmicableWalrus: Was Caffeine Guy Ubisoft? When was that?

2010, I think. We're all so old.

Martin Robinson

#girlwood

Tom Phillips

Ghost Recon Wildlands is our first big game.

Martin Robinson

I feel so conflicted about this - I've loved Ghost Recon games in the past, but I'm not feeling this open world spin so far.

Martin Robinson

Let's see if that changes in the next five minutes.

Martin Robinson

DakeyrasUK: It was 2011

You're right!

Martin Robinson

Well, this CG trailer certainly isn't going to change anyone's mind about anything.

Martin Robinson

Now this is a man whose nipples I'm sure we'd all love to see. Dominic Butler's shirt is undone to the point where you could almost see them peeking through.

Martin Robinson

Is the special edition of Wildlands going to come with a couple of grammes of wallop?

Martin Robinson

Hopefully we're about to see some gameplay.

Martin Robinson

And here we go.

Martin Robinson

Complete with scripted in-game chat, which I'm always a fan of.

Martin Robinson

On the positive side, what we're seeing looks very much like real in-game footage - i.e a little rough around the edges.

Martin Robinson

It still looks pretty great, mind.

Martin Robinson

DakeyrasUK: Where's all the dick jokes between these so called "friends"?

I'd love them to use some real-life in-game chat some day.

Martin Robinson

Pacman8MyGhostkart: I wish one day the banter would just be quotes from the first Predator movie instead.

I also approve of this.

Martin Robinson

I would love that too. When we play Destiny it's usually just Martin apologising all the time.

Tom Phillips

Apologising for being SO DAMN GOOD, right?

Martin Robinson

God, our bants is officially worse than the scripted stuff in this demo.

Martin Robinson

A genuinely co-op open world, with the tactical layer implied by Ghost Recon, could be a truly wonderful thing. And this is convincing me that it will be.

Martin Robinson

March 7th 2017 release date.

Martin Robinson

I might have figured out what's going on with Dominic's accent by then.

Martin Robinson

South Park up next.

Martin Robinson

Ubisoft's San Francisco studio is on this.

Martin Robinson

Matt and Trey are now going to be naughty for a little while.

Martin Robinson

I didn't get the Kanye joke. I'd ask someone to explain it to me but I don't know if I should.

Martin Robinson

Iain815: I'm surprised they haven't made an Archer game.

Good lord yes that's a grand idea.

Martin Robinson

The Stick of Truth is being offered as a freebie for pre-orders for the Fractured Butt Hole.

Martin Robinson

DakeyrasUK: Kanye was asked if he likes fish sticks (sounds like fish dicks). He said yes, and was then asked if he was a gay fish. He got mad because he didn't get it.

Thanks for the explanation. Sorry for being old and out of touch!

Martin Robinson

Genuine laughs in the audience throughout all of that and lots of love in the room.

Tom Phillips

That was South Park. It's got swearing in it.

Martin Robinson

The Division's up next - maybe we'll find out more about from the expansion.

Martin Robinson

You may not be able to see on the stream but Aisha's wearing absolutely fierce red heels.

Tom Phillips

Julian! The man who once rocked cargo shorts and blazer on this very stage.

Martin Robinson

Nipples definitely pierced, is what I'm saying.

Martin Robinson

Free outfits coming to the game today.

Martin Robinson

Announcement of a new expansion, too, called Survival.

Martin Robinson

Coming to Xbox One and PC first, as is the deal with The Division.

Martin Robinson

It's got snow in it. Which can mean only one thing.

Martin Robinson

Pert nipples.

Martin Robinson

Oculus and VR next.

Martin Robinson

I can't stop looking at Palmer's toes.

Tom Phillips

And Oculus founder Palmer Luckey, bless him, is sticking to his flip-flops.

Martin Robinson

It's so, so hard to demo VR effectively on-stage.

Martin Robinson

As I think this is proving. These people are having a great time, but I don't think that really comes across.

Martin Robinson

My attention is drifting, and is being drawn to Carsten's nipples.

Martin Robinson

I wonder if these developers iron their own shirts for these events? I've been really impressed by the quality of the laundry at this year's event.

Martin Robinson

I don't think I've seen an errant crease on-stage once so far.

Martin Robinson

Guy to my left is checking his Facebook. Chap to my left is on Instagram.

Tom Phillips

That, combined with the fashion for slightly tight-fitting shirts, has been great for nipple watch.

Martin Robinson

I wish you lot could go to one of these events to see these shirts in the flesh. They're amazing.

Martin Robinson

I don't think even Xbox Scorpio would be able to render their smoothness. Not even the highest quality pixels in the world!

Martin Robinson

Have they stopped playing that game yet?

Martin Robinson

Robert Purchese

dogmanstaruk: We have been on E3 nipple watch since Peter Moore amazed us last night.

It was a strong start, and the highlight of E3's show for sure.

Martin Robinson

I'm really looking forward to this next one.

Martin Robinson

Red Storm is up on stage for more VR jazz.

Martin Robinson

Levar Burton everyone!

Martin Robinson

It's a Star Wars VR game.

Martin Robinson

Essentially this seems like Artemis in VR. And that is a very exciting prospect.

Martin Robinson

Yeah, definitely saw a flash of Urban's nipples there. Thanks for the heads-up.

Martin Robinson

I didn't even know that Ubisoft had the Star Trek licence.

Martin Robinson

This is a better cameo than Mourinho, for sure. LEVAR BURTON!

Martin Robinson

Who has four VR headsets and four VR-ready PCs at home?

Martin Robinson

What! I want to go to the house party with Brent Spiner, Jonathan Frakes, Aisha Tyler and Levar Burton.

Martin Robinson

KingCarrot: For some reason i find myself uncounsciously caressing my own nipples. Thanks, Martin, for making me a weirdo.

My work here is done.

Martin Robinson

Coming this fall on all VR systems. I think I'll play this one.

Martin Robinson

For Honor is up now.

Martin Robinson

It's coming out February 14th 2017. It feels like a long time since it was announced.

Martin Robinson

MrTomFTW: What did I start with that Peter Moore nipple comment. I don't know if I should be proud or embarrassed.

What you did was important, Tom. Very important.

Martin Robinson

Beard of the show winner 2015 returns. Still a strong contender.

Tom Phillips

Ooooh, I'm not sure I want to see Jason Vandenberghe's nipples. They'd be terrifying.

Martin Robinson

Well, that did it. I'm properly aroused by Jason's incredible stage presence.

Martin Robinson

KingCarrot: He has fists for nipples. And is summoned by the smell of beef jerky.

qft

Martin Robinson

Hitting things looks like fun.

Martin Robinson

Missed cues and rough edges show that Ubisoft's really doubling down on showing real gameplay. That's a good thing.

Martin Robinson

There are your vikings, and the most prominent nipples you'll find on box art in 2017 I bet.

Martin Robinson

A Grow Home sequel, I believe.

Martin Robinson

I need to play the original still - Donlan swears by it. He's got the biggest grin on his face right now.

Martin Robinson

Grow Home Pilotwings, as succinctly put by Oli. We can all get behind that, right?

Martin Robinson

Another impeccable shirt. Maybe it's never seen an iron - it might be brand new just for today.

Martin Robinson

Coming out this August on Xbox One, PC and PS4.

Martin Robinson

Grow Up, that is. Not the shirt. You can get that from any Burtons right now.

Martin Robinson

RedLynx, and the very weird, very lovable Antti - the chap behind Trials - and Dean Evans, who I think worked on Blood Dragon.

Martin Robinson

WHAT ARE THEY DOING TOGETHER?

Martin Robinson

'Trials and Blood Dragon made baby together'. That's a pitch and a half.

Martin Robinson

LukehMuse: What is happening

Greatness. That's what's happening.

Martin Robinson

Trials of the Blood Dragon.

Martin Robinson

Out now!

Martin Robinson

Antti is fantastic. When I was over at RedLynx to see Trials Fusion he peddled in to the press room on a tricycle. His business cards are also specially-stamped coins.

Tom Phillips

Well, as soon as the conference ends. What a lovely surprise.

Martin Robinson

Assassin's movie up next.

Martin Robinson

Iain815: Boo! I was expecting the Fass.

That would be some prime nipple. Sadly doesn't look like it's to be.

Martin Robinson

I took a toilet break. Hope that's okay.

Martin Robinson

I can never unsee what I saw in Shame when it comes to Fassbender. So this is going to be a difficult watch.

Martin Robinson

So much talent in this that it's going to be hard for it to be awful.

Martin Robinson

And Jeremy Irons' presence, along with the sci-fi overtones, gives me a Cronenberg vibe.

Martin Robinson

Let's wait and see!

Martin Robinson

Oh no they're being hacked!

Martin Robinson

I could listen to Jonathan Morin's voice all day.

Tom Phillips

Weeertch Dergs 2.

Martin Robinson

I have spent too much time walking down this very road every time I go to San Francisco on my way to the arcade in Fisherman's Wharf.

Martin Robinson

Loving the look and the city. Everything else?

Martin Robinson

You can tweak nipples with your phone though, right?

Martin Robinson

Watch Dogs 2 certainly looks better than the original. Will that be good enough though?

Martin Robinson

I think we've got a couple of new game announcements coming after this. One of which has leaked already on Ubisoft's YouTube channel.

Martin Robinson

I won't say anything. Other than it looks SSXy.

Martin Robinson

Yves O'Clock.

Martin Robinson

He's so tiny!

Martin Robinson

Oh!

Martin Robinson

Oh my!

Martin Robinson

It's Jim Ryan!

Martin Robinson

He's one big nipple!

Martin Robinson

(I mean that as a term of endearment, of course!)

Martin Robinson

What a hunk of a man.

Martin Robinson

I think he said something about a Watch Dogs movie, but to be honest I wasn't listening.

Martin Robinson

I was imagining being whisked away in those trunk-like arms.

Martin Robinson

Keep away from my Jim, Aisha.

Martin Robinson

Anyway, back to the games - as hard as it is to shift our attention away from Jim - Watch Dogs 2 does look like a massive improvement, and I love the more fluid free-running and fun ways to get involved in non-lethal play.

Martin Robinson

One more game, then.

Martin Robinson

A new, SSX-like sports game from Ubisoft Annecy. And it looks hawt.

Martin Robinson

It is nice to see something which didn't leak. (Well, except on Ubi's YouTube a couple minutes ago).

Tom Phillips

Wingsuits, skis, snowboards. FUN!

Martin Robinson

Steep.

Martin Robinson

And, in the spirit of this (very good) conference, here's some gameplay.

Martin Robinson

I like this video game.

Martin Robinson

It's got a glorious sense of scale.

Martin Robinson

I don't know why you're all laughing. It's spelt Drreeerpp Zerrrns.

Martin Robinson

He's pronouncing it right. You're all wrong.

Martin Robinson

That is some lovely snow, and some great first-person GoPro viewpoints too.

Martin Robinson

Well, that's a lovely surprise.

Martin Robinson

And a really lovely conference.

Martin Robinson

It's playable on the showfloor at E3, is out this December, and there's a beta soon.

Martin Robinson

One final farewell from all the teams. I think they deserve a round of applause.

Martin Robinson

People are filing out here in the theatre. But could there be one more thing...?

Tom Phillips

That is a lot of nipple on one stage, for sure.

Martin Robinson

One more thing?

Martin Robinson

Nope, it's just Yves blissing out on stage.

Martin Robinson

2016 is not only Ubisoft's 30th anniversary but it is also the year in which it is fighting aggressive takeover from Vivendi.

Tom Phillips

I think Yves just made it clear he ain't selling.

Tom Phillips

Thanks for joining us. And thanks to Ubisoft for that.

Martin Robinson

Three hours to go until Sony's up. Hopefully catch you then!

Martin Robinson

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Martin Robinson

Editor-in-Chief

Martin is Eurogamer's editor-in-chief. He has a Gradius 2 arcade board and likes to play racing games with special boots and gloves on.

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