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Long read: The beauty and drama of video games and their clouds

"It's a little bit hard to work out without knowing the altitude of that dragon..."

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Tecmo's Nintengirls effort

Might as well be.

One of the most obvious spoofs post-Nintendogs was Nintengirls. Various Photoshopsters composed mock-ups of box artwork featuring sexy Japanese ladies. Gosh, the idea of a game where players grow their own girlfriends in much the same way they can care for their puppies! What japes!

But while the rest of us went, "Oh that's a shame, that's derogatory" as we expanded the pics to full-screen, set them as our desktop wallpapers and so on (What?), Tecmo presumably went down to the basement and consulted the lawyers. After all, it had its own Nintengirls-esque idea to protect.

It's called "Touch de Rakushou! Pachi-Slot Sengen Rio de Carnival" apparently, and it's some sort of risqué pachinko-based Nintendo DS game involving anime girls with (let's do the list) hourglass bodies, bikinis and barely concealed assets – and the girl on the cover has a frankly very worrying expression on her face (perhaps she just lost all her money).

Thanks/complaints to the always-excellent/deplorable Kotaku for that one. It's available now in Japan, and we have absolutely no intention of buying it. None. [Full review next week. – Ed]