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Long read: The beauty and drama of video games and their clouds

"It's a little bit hard to work out without knowing the altitude of that dragon..."

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We should all be very afraid of Pokémon Sword and Shield's Ball Guy

Face your spheres.

Pokémon Sword and Shield's Ball Guy is a masked vigilante that could explode at any given moment and I'm going to explain why.

Let me preface this by saying: the Ball Guy is lovely. He does his little dance, cheers you on for gym battles and, most importantly, gifts you Poké Balls so you can catch all the interesting new Pokémon the Galar region has to offer.

The internet has fallen in love with him, too - some consider him boyfriend material, a friend who's just vibing, an excellent choice for a new Smash character, perhaps.

I consider him a threat.

At first glance it might seem fairly obvious that the overly happy Poké Ball is not his actual head, but the closer you look, the more details you see will make you question just what in Galar this man is. Originally, I assumed he was simply wearing some sort of long sleeved top and leggings to give his skin that glowing white colour. But then I realised, his chest is white too. There's a little triangle just below his bulbous head where you can see it. "It's probably a morph suit," I hear you say, but look at the definition around his knees - if this is some sort of morph suit he's wearing, it must be a damn good one.

I don't buy it. This 'man' looks like he was bitten by a radioactive Voltorb and you cannot convince me otherwise. This could be a good thing, sure. At the moment he comes across as our friendly neighbourhood Ball Guy, gifting us useful items and doing that memorable little shuffle dance.

Here's Voltorb's Pokédex entry from Pokémon Sapphire:

"Voltorb is extremely sensitive - it explodes at the slightest of shocks. It is rumoured that it was first created when a Poké Ball was exposed to a powerful pulse of energy."

And here's the entry from Pokémon Diamond and Pearl:

"It looks just like a Poké Ball. It is dangerous because it may electrocute or explode on touch."

There's a lot to unpack here - if indeed Ball Guy is the result of a Voltorb experiment gone wrong, he couldn't possibly be from the Galar region as both Voltorb and Electrode aren't in the gen eight Pokédex. The only explanation is that he was involved in a terrible accident in Kanto's Power Plant before fleeing to Galar to start a new life.

This isn't the most worrying part - the most consistent fact in nearly every Pokédex entry for Voltorb is that it frequently explodes for almost no reason. I see through that thousand yard stare - Ball Guy could blow up at any minute. He's at every gym in every town, nowhere is safe from his explosive touch. His eyes are wide with fear, every Poké Ball he hands out could be his last - and yours.

Your 'mate'.

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