You step quietly into the castle, holding a lantern aloft in your gloved hand. You creep up the stairs into a room of stained glass windows. Then, turning to leave, the horrific ghost of Princess Peach lurches through the doorway to scare the crap out of you. Game Over.
The aim of the game is to collect eight statuettes around the castle, all while avoiding the stalking ghost of Peach by hiding in chests and conserving your limited stamina.
"It seems Peach died a few years ago and now the castle is empty. Or rather, it should be empty, but Peach's tormented ghost still haunts the halls," explains the game's description.
"Maybe Mario should call up his brother to deal with the problem though - he's got much more experience with ghostbusting!"
Between the basic polygon graphics with dimmed colours and the lack of music with just Mario's tapping shoes and Peach's screams for company, this is honestly terrifying.
I recently played notorious horror game Visage, but that's not a patch on this.
You know when cute children's things are made to seem scary? This is the video game equivalent.
My childhood is officially ruined.