Boll challenges critics to fight

Back in February, you may recall, we got the chance to have a long chat with notorious film director Uwe Boll.

He revealed that he hoped to give his many critics a chance to appear in his next videogame adaptation, Postal: "I'm in the movie - Uwe Boll will play a minor part. I get killed by my 'Boll haters'." He also stated that he'd be happy for the Boll haters to play themselves - and he wasn't kidding.

In a press release titled "Uwe Boll challenges his critics to 'Put up or shut up!'", Boll states: "I'm fed up with people slamming my films on the Internet without see[ing] them. Many journalists make value judgments on my films based on the opinions of one or two thousand Internet voices. Half of those opinions come from people who've never watched my films."

So what's a notorious film director to do but challenge his critics to a fight - as in, an actual, physical, and potentially quite painful one.

"Towards the end of the filming of Postal the five most outspoken critics will be flown into Vancouver and supplied with hotel rooms," the release states.

"As a guest of Uwe Boll they will be given the chance to be an extra/stand-in in Postal and have the opportunity to put on boxing gloves and enter a BOXING RING to fight Uwe Boll.

"Each critic will have the opportunity to bring down Uwe in a 10-bout match. There will be five matches planned over the last two days of the movie. Certain scenes from these boxing matches will become part of the Postal movie. All five fights will be televised on the Internet and will be covered by international press."

Fancy your chances? Well, there are a few rules for entry: first of all, you must be a man weighing between 140 and 190 pounds (63.5 kg - 86 kg). Secondly, you must have "posted on the Internet or have written in magazines/newspapers at least two extremely negative articles in the year 2005."

Apparently "Critics of 2006 will not be considered" - which rules out anyone who's been writing rude things about Boll since BloodRayne hit cinemas.

You won't get any cash for your troubles, but you will be provided with a hotel room in Vancouver, where the boxing will take place.

If you're eligible to enter and think it sounds like a good idea, you need to submit proof of your negative articles to info@boll-kg.de.

In other movie news, Francis Ford Coppola will be waiting for anyone who says his daughter was rubbish in Godfather 3 down Lewisham Wetherspoon's car park this Saturday at 3pm. No gats no shanks.