Thompson's idea for a game
We think he's trying to be funny.
Infamous videogame critic Jack Thompson - the man who thinks GTA is turning us all into murderers and once described The Sims as a "paedophile's paradise" - has come up with his very own idea for a game.
In an open letter to a load of US journalists, Thompson outlined the game concept and offered to donate $10,000 to the charity of Paul Eibeler's choice (Paul Eibeler being the chairman of Take Two) if someone actually goes ahead and develops it.
The game's main character is one Osaki Kim, the father of a high school student who was beaten to death by a 14 year old with a baseball bat. The murderer also happened to be into videogames, naturally, and had been obsessively playing one in which you kill people with - yep, a baseball bat.
The opening cut-scene takes place in the LA courtroom where the student awaits sentencing - and finds himself facing life in prison after psychology experts confirm the link between the game and the murder.
At this point, Thompson writes, "Osaki Kim (O.K.) exits the courtroom swearing revenge upon the videogame industry whom he is convinced contributed to his son's murder. "Vengeance is mine, I will repay" he says. And boy, is O.K. not kidding."
O.K. arms himself with a huge arsenal of weapons, which includes machetes, Uzis, revolvers, shotguns, sniper rifles, Molotov cocktails, "Even baseball bats. Especially baseball bats."
Then he hops on a plane and heads for "The Long Island home of the CEO of the company (Take This) that made the murder simulator on which his son's killer trained," Thompson goes on.
"O.K. gets "justice" by taking out this female CEO, whose name is Paula Eibel, along with her husband and kids. "An eye for an eye," says O.K., as he urinates onto the severed brain stems of the Eibel family victims, just as you do on the decapitated cops in the real video game Postal 2."
That job taken care of, O.K. moves on to Philadephia where he pops into a law firm and "Goes floor by floor to wipe out the lawyers who protect Take This in its wrongful death law suits. "So sue me" O.K. spits, with singer Jackson Brown's 1980's hit Lawyers in Love blaring."
You can tell Thompson's getting into his stride now and it doesn't end there, oh no. "With the FBI now after him, O.K. keeps moving westward, shooting up high-tech video arcades called GameWerks. "Game over," O.K. laughs." Genius!
"Of course, O.K. makes the obligatory runs to virtual versions of brick and mortar retailers Best Buy, Circuit City, Target, and Wal-Mart to steal supplies and bludgeon store managers and cash register clerks. "You should have checked kids' IDs!""
Finally, for the game's climax, O.K. heads for Los Angeles - and he's in a race against time to get there for May 10, 2006, as Thompson explains.
"That is the beginning of "E3" - the Electronic Entertainment Expo - the Super Bowl of the video game industry. O.K. must get to E3 to massacre all the video game industry execs with one final, monstrously delicious rampage."
Thompson's letter ends: "How about it, videogame industry? I've got the check and you've got the tech. It's all a fantasy, right? No harm can come from such a game, right? Go ahead, videogame moguls. Target yourselves as you target others. I dare you."
Who knows, perhaps this could be the start of a glittering new career in game development for Thompson. He didn't mention anything about an online mode or a levelling up system or rag doll physics or bloom effects, sadly, but it's early days. The question is, will he find a publisher? Nintendo was unavailable for comment.