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Where in the world is Josemonkey?

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Things you can buy with money.

It turns out that those videos littering Xbox Live Marketplace are of people really good at skiing or playing football. I thought they were of skateboarders. There's lots of skateboarders on Brighton seafront. Probably not right now, but at the weekend. Anyway, not content with just going down a hill or kicking goals, these sporty types go off and balance balls on their chins or pull off huge tricks in cold places. Check out Abbas Farid and his crafty feet on YouTube; apparently he's the best the UK has to offer.

Disregard all that video nonsense on Live and you're left with a No Doubt bundle of songs for Guitar Hero III, as well as plenty of fresh offerings for Ace Combat 6: new modes, crafts, fun, maybe leading to friends if you want, no pressure. The only bits we're missing from the US are Rock Band songs and some Adult Swim clips.

Unfortunately those of you in the PS3 camp have a rather dismal amount to pick from on PSN: just two trailers, one for Conflict: Denied Ops and one for Haze. That's it. Thankfully the last of the WipEout packs for PSP bolsters this, and Go!Messenger is out now too. You can find the messaging application under the Network part of your XMB, providing you have the recent firmware update. Before you start you will need to register on the official site, which happens to be impossible because "the service is very busy". There are PDF help files and things if you get a bit stuck, too. "Hit F5 and hope they've upgraded," would seem the obvious. I got fed up and swore.

Steam has some game called RIP Trilogy for half-price at the moment, and Metaboli has just added The Witcher to its line-up. Role-playing fans waiting for this might want to hold out until May, when an enormous bug-killing and content-adding update will be released.

That's it. Stone the cow.

Xbox Live Arcade

  • Triggerheart Exelica - 800 Microsoft Points (GBP 6.80 / EUR 9.60)

Xbox Live Marketplace

Everybody

  • Guitar Hero III: No Doubt Track Pack - 500 Microsoft Points (GBP 4.25 / EUR 6.00)
  • Ace Combat 6: Battle Royale - 100 Microsoft Points (GBP 0.85 / EUR 1.20)
  • Ace Combat 6: Co-op Battle - 300 Microsoft Points (GBP 2.55 / EUR 3.60)
  • Ace Combat 6: Siege Battle - 300 Microsoft Points (GBP 2.55 / EUR 3.60)
  • Ace Combat 6: Ace of Aces Mission - 350 Microsoft Points (GBP 2.98 / EUR 4.20)
  • Ace Combat 6: Razgriz Set - 400 Microsoft Points (GBP 3.40 / EUR 4.80)
  • Ace Combat 6: Mirage2000-5 (Advanced) - 200 Microsoft Points (GBP 1.70 / EUR 2.40)
  • Ace Combat 6: Su-33 (Crimson Wing) - 200 Microsoft Points (GBP 1.70 / EUR 2.40)
  • Ace Combat 6: F-15E (The Idolmaster Chihaya) - 400 Microsoft Points (GBP 3.40 / EUR 4.80)

Europe (videos)

  • Mind The Gap: S. Dumont & J. Olsson - 150 Microsoft Points (GBP 1.28 / EUR 1.80)
  • Mind The Gap: H. Harlaut & JF Houle - 150 Microsoft Points (GBP 1.28 / EUR 1.80)
  • Mind The Gap: Andreas Hatveit - 150 Microsoft Points (GBP 1.28 / EUR 1.80)
  • Urban Freestylers: Scott Griffiths - 150 Microsoft Points (GBP 1.28 / EUR 1.80)
  • Urban Freestylers: Craig Dobson - 150 Microsoft Points (GBP 1.28 / EUR 1.80)
  • Urban Freestylers: Al Johnson - 150 Microsoft Points (GBP 1.28 / EUR 1.80)
  • Urban Freestylers: Mike Delaney - 150 Microsoft Points (GBP 1.28 / EUR 1.80)
  • Urban Freestylers: Dan Magness - 150 Microsoft Points (GBP 1.28 / EUR 1.80)
  • Urban Freestylers: Billy Wingrove - 150 Microsoft Points (GBP 1.28 / EUR 1.80)
  • Urban Freestylers: Abbas Farid - 150 Microsoft Points (GBP 1.28 / EUR 1.80)
  • Urban Freestylers: Rob Walters - 150 Microsoft Points (GBP 1.28 / EUR 1.80)
  • Urban Freestylers: Paul Wood - 150 Microsoft Points (GBP 1.28 / EUR 1.80)
  • Urban Freestylers: Gerbeshi - 150 Microsoft Points (GBP 1.28 / EUR 1.80)
  • Urban Freestylers: Tommy Baker - 150 Microsoft Points (GBP 1.28 / EUR 1.80)
  • Urban Freestylers: Joe Davies - 150 Microsoft Points (GBP 1.28 / EUR 1.80)

US/Canada

  • Adult Swim: Squidbillies Theme - 150 Microsoft Points (GBP 1.28 / EUR 1.80)
  • Adult Swim: Aqua Teen Hunger Force Picture Pack 3 - 150 Microsoft Points (GBP 1.28 / EUR 1.80)
  • Rock Band: "March of the Pigs" by Nine Inch Nails - 160 Microsoft Points (GBP 1.36 / EUR 1.92)
  • Rock Band: "The Collector" by Nine Inch Nails - 160 Microsoft Points (GBP 1.36 / EUR 1.92)
  • Rock Band: "The Perfect Drug" by Nine Inch Nails - 160 Microsoft Points (GBP 1.36 / EUR 1.92)
  • Rock Band: Nine Inch Nails Pack - 440 Microsoft Points (GBP 3.74 / EUR 5.28)

PlayStation Network

PAL PSP Store for PC

  • WipEout Auricom Pack - GBP 1.99

US PS3 Store

  • Rock Band: "March of the Pigs" by Nine Inch Nails - USD 1.99
  • Rock Band: "The Collector" by Nine Inch Nails - USD 1.99
  • Rock Band: "The Perfect Drug" by Nine Inch Nails - USD 1.99
  • Rock Band: Nine Inch Nails Pack - USD 5.49
  • Guitar Hero III: No Doubt Track Pack - USD 6.25

Virtual Console

PAL Games

  • Super Turrican (SNES) - 800 Wii Points (GBP 5.60 / EUR 8)
  • Psychosis (TurboGrafx-16) - 600 Wii Points (GBP 4.20 / EUR 6)

US Games

  • Kirby 64: The Crystal Shards (N64) - 1000 Wii Points (GBP 7.00 / EUR 10)
  • Psychosis (TurboGrafx-16) - 600 Wii Points (GBP 4.20 / EUR 6)

Steam

  • RIP Trilogy - USD 9.95 (50 percent off)

Metaboli

Ultimate Collection

  • The Witcher
  • Combat Wings: Battle of Britain
  • Mysteries of Horus

Essential Collection

  • Combat Wings: Battle of Britain

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