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Watch: Johnny cooks Kwama Egg Quiche from The Elder Scrolls Online

Khajiit while you flan.

I've been making video game foodstuffs in my kitchen for 22 straight weeks now. In that time, I've learned a thing or two - most notably that in-game recipes aren't always the most comprehensive.

This is especially true of The Elder Scrolls, a franchise which rarely includes quantities as part of its list of ingredients. That's my excuse for why this week's recipe turned out as badly as it did and I am sticking to it.

In this week's episode of Chiodini's Kitchen, I attempt to make a Kwama Egg Quiche. If you want to see how it went (spoilers: badly), you can watch the video below. If you want to attempt the recipe for yourself (spoilers: don't), you can find the recipe pasted below that. This is the verbatim recipe from the game, by the way, so don't blame me.

Watch on YouTube

Kwama Egg Quiche


One medium kwama egg, or two small kwama eggs

Ground meal

Mug of water

Diced tomato


Salt (to taste)

To prepare:

Break eggs in a large bowl. At garlic, tomato and salt. Whisk briskly.

Combine the meal and water to make a dough.

Layer half of the dough in a deep pot. Pour half the egg mixture over the dough. Place another layer of dough, pour remaining egg mixture into pot and finish with another layer of dough.

Cover pot tightly and hang over a small fire, or place the covered pot within a hot oven.

Check the quiche after one hour. Once a brown crust forms on the top, the casserole is ready to eat.