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Nintendo rounds up slebs for TV adverts

Nintendogging with Girls Aloud, etc.

Nintendo has hired Girls Aloud, Jamie and Louise Redknapp, Fern Briton and her bloke, and Ronan Keating and his wife and kids to join Patrick Stewart and Julie Walters flogging the DS and Wii on TV and "outdoors".

Whether this means you'll have to run a gauntlet of lace-clad cabaret and Jean-Luc Picard every time you to go looking for conkers is not explained, but we are given a taste of what the slebs will be up to on telly.

Picard, we're told, will be doing a bit of Brain Training on an aeroplane with Julie, while Jamie Redknapp (who could surely use the brain training) will instead be playing Mario Kart Wii with "members of the Redknapp family" before he plays Wii Sports with his son and, in another ad, plays Smash Bros. with Louise and her brother.

Elsewhere, Fern Briton will be using Cooking Guide: Can't Decide What to Eat? to prepare something for her other half, and Ronan from Boyzone will play Big Brain Academy with his family.

Oh dear.

The most cringeworthy quotes are saved for Girls Aloud. "We all love our Nintendo DS's, whether racing with Mario Kart on the tour bus or looking after our Nintendogs in the studio at the end of a hectic day, there's always something to keep us laughing and entertained - the different DS colours mean we never get them mixed up too!" is the way they explain their presence.

Terrifyingly, Nadine elaborates, "I love my Nintendog 'Miso'; I can feed him, take him for walks and play with him every day, it's just like having a real dog in my hand."

Former footballer Jamie Redknapp, who, despite his affiliation with Liverpool, is denied PEOPLE'S HERO status on Eurogamer, said of the Wii: "It's great you can be active while having fun and Louise, Charley and I can all play it together. My dad's got into it recently too."

"We all play as a family whenever we get together and can't stop laughing," Louise added, although not in reference to her husband's television career. "Mario Kart is a lot of fun - especially when I beat Jamie. There are some great learning based games for younger children too." We're certainly learning a lot.

So there. We'll see if we can get some lifestyle photography out of Nintendo to go with all this nonsense. (UPDATE: Success! Success!)