If you click on a link and make a purchase we may receive a small commission. Read our editorial policy.

EA Gamescom 2016 live report

Guns, balls, robots. It's all here from 6.15pm.

Thank the maker for EA, who's still willing to put on a show while others shy away. We're not sure exactly what form that show will take, mind, but we're at least guaranteed new details on Titanfall, Battlefield and FIFA. If we're lucky it'll be a repeat of EA Play just before E3, and we'll be treated to a lot of dubious celebs getting high while playing EA's line-up. Mesut Ozil taking on Reggie Yates at FIFA 17 while chewing mogadon? That'd do nicely. Join us here live from 6.15pm BST.

Our live coverage of this event has finished.

Coverage
Oi oi! Who's up for some GAMESCOM! There ain't no party like a sausage party!

Martin Robinson

I'm so pumped I've just downed a pot of coffee and am about to get down to do some push-ups in my garden in an effort to contain the excitement.

Martin Robinson

(I'll be watching remotely from sunny Lewisham while Tom Phillips will be there on the floor for us).

Martin Robinson

What to expect? Going from June's EA Play event, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

Martin Robinson

Aside from some awkward celebrity cameos. But that's what we're all here for, right?

Martin Robinson

Thankfully EA's already got some of that boring game stuff out the way, having already released its Battlefield 1 Gamescom trailer and teased the announcement of a beta for Titanfall 2 over that'll be taking place over the next two weekends.

Martin Robinson

What does that leave? Nothing but wall-to-wall beat poetry about sports and walk-ons from sporting celebrities.

Martin Robinson

Which is something I could watch for hours on end.

Martin Robinson

For now, though, I'm going to try and calm myself with a cold shower. I'll see you back here just before kick-off!

Martin Robinson

So, the other news from tonight's conference has just been announced. A Titanfall 2 open beta *will* be taking place this coming weekend and the weekend after on PS4 and Xbox One.

Martin Robinson

I can't tell you anything about what's just been announced 'til 8pm tonight because embargoes lol.

Martin Robinson

But anyway we'll have plenty of video of the maps and modes live then plus some of me waffling about it all. It's Titanfall. It's got robots in. It's good.

Martin Robinson

I'm watching remotely, though I could sneak you into my house?

Martin Robinson

Can I get a couple of games of Overwatch in before this all kicks off?

Martin Robinson

funkstar: martin, i hope you're watching for nipples again

Always. Always.

Martin Robinson

Martin Robinson

Tom's on the show floor, where he's reporting that lots of people are awkwardly sitting around.

Martin Robinson

EXCITING.

Martin Robinson

funkstar: are we actually expecting anything new?

No. But, er, stick around! It *might* be fun.

Martin Robinson

Tart: Does Gamescom smell as bad as E3?

From previous experience, yes. The smell of teenage enthusiasm is much more overpowering there.

Martin Robinson

Blizzard's own Gamescom video has just wrapped.

Martin Robinson

And it was *awful*. We did get confirmation of a new Overwatch map, mind.

Martin Robinson

That and a whole load of nonsensical vapid noise. It has, at least, set the bar very low.

Martin Robinson

Let's see EA limbo under it in just over 15 minutes.

Martin Robinson

Hello from EA's press event room - I say room, it's a corner of the EA booth with lots of awkward journos standing around!

Tom Phillips

There's a podium in the centre where we're hoping Peter Moore will speak or maybe do some kind of sexy dancing.

Tom Phillips

No one's really sure how little we're going to get but a few gamepads are sat on the stage so some kind of live demo filler looks likely.

Tom Phillips

Well, I'm not sure what the EA stream is showing for you guys at home but here we're having a lukewarm intro from Patrick Soderlund. Games in the spotlight today - well, no surprises: FeefifoFIFA, Battlefield, Titanfall

Tom Phillips

Thanks, Tom. But what's he wearing?

Martin Robinson

Shirt, one button open, smart trousers. Can confirm shirt was tucked.

Tom Phillips

Good stuff, thanks for the update.

Martin Robinson

It sounds like the live stream you'll see in 10 minutes will be footage from the booth, which we've just been told to go play on. I think that's it from here!

Tom Phillips

paulyates1: We seeing any ME:A?

That's a negative I'm afraid.

Martin Robinson

funkstar: Martin: you forgot to ask if you can see his nips

Not sure about nipples but I'm fully expecting a couple of proper tits in a minute.

Martin Robinson

Wait for it!

Martin Robinson

Wait for it...

Martin Robinson

Any second now...

Martin Robinson

*lets out slow, dry fart*

Martin Robinson

I hope you're having as much fun as I am right now.

Martin Robinson

Though I have used the time to reheat last night's cassoulet which I'm getting through right now.

Martin Robinson

rep-: beginning to wonder if I am the only one with the show starts soon stream

Same here. Same everywhere.

Martin Robinson

SurgicalOyster: are they using their own servers? if so it'll be a right clusterfuck

*applauds*

Martin Robinson

I'm done with the cassoulet. I've got some honey and ginger ice cream in the freezer but I should probably save that for later.

Martin Robinson

Can I squeeze in a game of Overwatch before this begins?

Martin Robinson

Hey, the new Overwatch map might even be out by the time this begins.

Martin Robinson

rep-: lol @ spambot invading live comments

That's no spam. I've met her Auntie Brooke and it is indeed a very nice Cadillac she drives.

Martin Robinson

Meanwhile, in publishers who've got their shit together land, Activision just announced that club houses for clans are coming to Destiny.

Martin Robinson

Stealth Destiny live report, sorry.

Martin Robinson

Oh wait!

Martin Robinson

Oh no!

Martin Robinson

It's begun, and part of me wishes it hadn't!

Martin Robinson

'EA's kicking off Gamescom 2016 with some of the hottest news of the summer'. I hope they're done sometime before autumn.

Martin Robinson

rep-: Who the fuck is that guy?

Screw nipplewatch, we've got our first bona fide tit of the show.

Martin Robinson

FIFA Ultimate Team Champions is a new, new news thing.

Martin Robinson

This is so, so awkward.

Martin Robinson

We're kicking off with FUTFUTFUTFUTFUT.

Martin Robinson

Haha I said kicking off that's a football thing right?

Martin Robinson

This club remix of Blur's Song 2 that's soundtracking the trailer is new to me. It's kind of gross.

Martin Robinson

Maybe it's just because I'm old and cranky and I haven't had my nap today.

Martin Robinson

Spencer from Spencer FC - are they from the Evo-Stick North or something? - is taking us through this.

Martin Robinson

Nick Channon, a man who makes video games and is likely to be more bearable than anyone else on this stream, is on stage to take us through what's new.

Martin Robinson

The Frostbite engine is the big thing for this year's FIFA.

Martin Robinson

Driven throughballs, active intelligence and more physical play are the innovations in this year's FIFA.

Martin Robinson

I think they were the innovations a few years back too? God I've been doing this too long - it's all one big grey smear.

Martin Robinson

Spencer FC, for those over 30 like me, isn't a football club.

Martin Robinson

It's a man.

Martin Robinson

FUT time. Futty fut fut.

Martin Robinson

I can't believe they actually, officially pronounce it "futt".

Oli Welsh

To cut to the chase, EA's just issued a press release about Ultimate Team.

Martin Robinson

The short of it: 'This year's FUT adds squad-building challenges and FUT Champions. 'FUT Champions is daily knockout tournaments for in-game rewards. Through it, you get a chance to play in the Weekend League. There's a Monthly Leaderboard to work towards. 'If you get to the top spots on the leaderboard, you could get the chance to compete in the new FUT Championship Series. There's a $1.3m prize pool on offer. It all sounds like EA's trying to take FUT into the world of eSports.'

Martin Robinson

PsychoticPillow: How long will this stream go on for?

Indefinitely. Forever. Well, too long. That's for sure.

Martin Robinson

Where's Pele when you need him?

Martin Robinson

IanHigton: This is even more boring than those car games you play, Martin.

Oi!

Martin Robinson

Everyone on this stream looks so confused. So lethargic. It's like the end of a really bad trip.

Martin Robinson

I think I'm about to have a whitey. And I haven't smoked a thing.

Martin Robinson

Do you remember that time Pele told us about the Swedish girl that touched his hair?

Martin Robinson

We were all so much happier then. Simpler, better times.

Martin Robinson

At least at E3 we got to see Zac Efron and Jamie Foxx clearly off their tits while playing Battlefield.

Martin Robinson

I know this is a bit lower rent, but can't they pump Max and O.B. from Hollyoaks with some PCP and get them playing Titanfall 2?

Martin Robinson

Spencer FC, you're about to be relegated.

Martin Robinson

Johnny's just pointed out that Spencer FC has a huge wodge of cue cards to get through.

Martin Robinson

We could be here all night.

Martin Robinson

Hang on, have we been here all night? I can see the sun, but maybe it's the morning already.

Martin Robinson

Tom is on the show floor right now.

Martin Robinson

And he's just shared something *amazing*.

Martin Robinson

(which I'm now trying to upload)

Martin Robinson

Before then, our special guest is... Peter Moore.

Martin Robinson

Anyway, here are the scenes live from the floor where this is happening.

Martin Robinson

Martin Robinson

Just incredible.

Martin Robinson

Update from the "show floor" - a lot of people are no longer in the building.

Tom Phillips

Remember that time Peter's nipples stood out like fleshy bullets on-stage at EA Play earlier this year?

Martin Robinson

Someone in wardrobe clearly does - he's been sheathed in a blue suit jacket.

Martin Robinson

There is no-one there.

Martin Robinson

Go home. Go be with your families and friends. Remind that someone special that you love them.

Martin Robinson

Clip your toenails. Clean your ears. Chisel all that burnt-in cheese off your grill.

Martin Robinson

Do something, anything other than this.

Martin Robinson

There are almost 800 people on this page right now. I want all of you to go away and do something else. Close this tab.

Martin Robinson

I can see how many people are on here. I won't be happy until that number's gone down to zero.

Martin Robinson

Oh god it's just gone up.

Martin Robinson

What is *wrong* with you people?

Martin Robinson

I'm just going to curl up in the corner for a little bit. Please go away.

Martin Robinson

I just drifted off. I had this terrible dream that I was watching a stream where they were showing off Kasabian-inspired football shirts.

Martin Robinson

Oh god this is actually happening isn't it.

Martin Robinson

Reus is being escorted through an empty showfloor to join them.

Martin Robinson

Artulon: I have no idea who that man is....

Marco Reus, 27-year-old attacking midfielder for Dortmund. So Wikipedia tells me.

Martin Robinson

'Let's make it interesting' says Spencer United. I think it's too late for that.

Martin Robinson

I'm told that most people have left the event, and devs are filling the stations that were intended for attendees to play.

Martin Robinson

Star Trek TNG is on Syfy at the moment.

Martin Robinson

Just sayin'.

Martin Robinson

Pretty good episode too.

Martin Robinson

Fifth series, Picard and Data go to investigate a rumour that Spock's defected to the Romulans.

Martin Robinson

You've missed the first 20 minutes but if you tune in now you'd get the gist.

Martin Robinson

Women's Omnium tonight, too. Looking forward to that.

Martin Robinson

Let's see, what else. There's One Foot in The Grave on Gold.

Martin Robinson

I JUST GOT THE WARP REACTOR TAU BLUEPRINT.

Oli Welsh

That's not a bad way to spend a Tuesday night.

Martin Robinson

Oh god there's now even more of you on this page. What can we do to make you go away?

Martin Robinson

Sorry to interrupt.

Oli Welsh

What if I spoilt every big game that's out at the moment?

Martin Robinson

What if I told you what happens in Harry Potter and The Cursed Child?

Martin Robinson

I'll do it. I swear I will.

Martin Robinson

I'll ruin everything for you. I'll tell you who Rey's parents are.

Martin Robinson

Leave this page now, or everything will be meaningless to you.

Martin Robinson

Aaaaaggghhh the number of people watching this live report has gone up again.

Martin Robinson

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME.

Martin Robinson

I have a family I want to see. Please. Spare me.

Martin Robinson

ShiftBreaker: So, while we're all here suffering. Got any good jokes?

Please, yes. Anything to lift the pain.

Martin Robinson

YoyoMcDingdong: this conference is a joke

Ding ding ding! We have a winner!

Martin Robinson

SurgicalOyster: i just made sausage pasta, thats a first during a live stream

Hey, I had a sausage in my cassoulet earlier. What are the chances!

Martin Robinson

gribb: Any Eurogamer folk want to fill us in on when F1 2016 is getting reviewed? Need to know if Codies have fulfilled their promises this year!

Friday 8am. I'm on it myself - without giving too much away it's really good this year.

Martin Robinson

Hang on. We're onto FIFA Mobile now.

Martin Robinson

For my sanity, and for your own, I will be dialling out shortly.

Martin Robinson

I'm only doing it because I care about you all.

Martin Robinson

It really is a lovely evening out.

Martin Robinson

Go for a walk, make the most of that glorious summer twilight.

Martin Robinson

Enjoy life. It's short, make the most of it.

Martin Robinson

I don't ever want to see you here again.

Martin Robinson

'Don't go changin'' says Spencer Harriers as the FIFA section comes to an end. No, don't *you* ever change Spencer.

Martin Robinson

Farewell, goodnight, god bless.

Martin Robinson

Are you *still* here?

Martin Robinson

Martin Robinson

We'll have more inspiring nonsense for you over the next few days (and while it's been a slow start there's some really juicy stuff inbound - trust me!) Have a grand evening. And sorry, I guess.

Martin Robinson

Comments
Become a Eurogamer subscriber and get your first month for £1

Get your first month for £1 (normally £3.99) when you buy a Standard Eurogamer subscription. Enjoy ad-free browsing, merch discounts, our monthly letter from the editor, and show your support with a supporter-exclusive comment flair!

About the Author
Martin Robinson avatar

Martin Robinson

Editor-in-chief

Martin is Eurogamer's editor-in-chief. He has a Gradius 2 arcade board and likes to play racing games with special boots and gloves on.

Eurogamer.net logo

Buy things with globes on them

And other lovely Eurogamer merch in our official store!

Explore our store
Eurogamer.net Merch