Remember that Witcher 3 money exploit in starting area White Orchard where you could kill cows for their hides, meditate for a couple of hours, and then do it all again? It was patched and fixed brilliantly with a grotesque cow boss who shows up if you try it on, but that's not the point. Point is, if you did it, or any money exploit like it, you may be in for a fine - an in-game fine.

In Witcher 3 Hearts of Stone, the Ł8 story expansion released this week, a ghoulish, nightmarish and truly hideous creature shows up to levy the fine: the Taxman. He, Walthemor Mitty - CD Projekt Red loves a pop culture nod - finds you at some point to discuss your "undeclared income". "Scuse me?" replies Geralt.


"We've had reports, numerous, that over the last months you've come into a great deal of coin - quickly," Mitty retorts. "So quickly it's raised suspicions. Make no mistake, you cannot evade this. You must answer my questions properly and in full.

"Have you ever at any time engaged in the wholesale trade of rawhide in the White Orchard area?" he asks.

"During the current fiscal year, have you engaged in the acquisition of bivalves with the express intention of selling pearls therein?"

Then, finally: "Have you ever unlawfully acquired another man's movable goods, chattels? Meaning, have you ever waltzed into someone's home and taken something without their permission?"

Don't be absurd! But apparently answering yes to all questions netted someone - commenting on the video below - a 1000 gold/crown fine.

The Taxman was spotted and videoed by YouTube channel WhatsMyGame (via PC Gamer) which, ironically, is the channel that explained and popularised the cow-killing exploit to begin with.

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Robert Purchese

Robert Purchese

Senior Staff Writer

Bertie is senior staff writer and Eurogamer's Poland-and-dragons correspondent. He's part of the furniture here, a friendly chair, and reports on all kinds of things, the stranger the better.

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