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Soulja Boy cranks out another two dodgy consoles


Remember Soulja Boy? It's a name I haven't heard since my year seven disco about 11 years ago, but lately the rapper (responsible for hit single Crank That) has been making waves in the gaming world with a series of bizarre entrepreneurial ideas.

After initially announcing the SouljaGame handheld - something which looked like a cheap (and legally dubious) emulator rebrand - it seems he's back at it again, this time with a further two consoles which don't look a great deal better than the last.

First up we've got the Retro SouljaBoy Mini, which bears something of a resemblance to a Nintendo Game Boy - I don't know, maybe that's just me? Anyway, it comes with an 8GB card with 508 preloaded games, which are a bit of a mystery aside from the images of Mario, Ryu, Metal Slug and Bill from Chinese Contra printed on the instructions booklet.

This handheld normally costs an eye-watering $99.99 (£78.90), but don't worry, as this is knock-off is now at the knock-down price of $69.99 (£55.23).

Frankly it's a Christmas miracle Nintendo hasn't come after him yet.

The other console Soulja Boy is peddling is the SouljaGame FUZE, which seems to be a re-brand of a console intended to rival Xbox and PlayStation in China (spoilers: it didn't).

The FUZE Tomahawk F1 was criticised back in 2016 for simultaneously ripping off the Xbox's controller design and the PlayStation's operating system, ironically forming some kind of rare common ground between the consoles. Soulja Boy's own take on this seems to end at sticking his name in the title, as there's nothing to distinguish it from a regular FUZE Tomahawk F1 in terms of branding. I'm honestly not sure whether it comes with 76 games or 20, as the sentence about that appears to have been popped into google translate.

Go ahead and splash out $399.99 (£315.09) on the SouljaGame FUZE if you really want, I guess.

Surprised the Crank That dance isn't in Fortnite yet, to be honest.

If you weren't already feeling jaded from looking at these, you should stay tuned for Soulja Boy's esports team, which he claims will launch in January with squads for Fortnite, Overwatch and Call of Duty. 2018 has been a weird year, and now it's looking like 2019 will be too. Cheers to that - and don't buy those Soulja Boy consoles. Seriously.

Cover image for YouTube videoSoulja Boy Tell'em - Crank That (Soulja Boy) (Official Music Video)