And here it is, the one you've all been waiting for. Hands on, er, hips. We'll be going "hands on" with DOA XBV later today, we can assure you, but first of all Microsoft has asked us to tell you about the actual game. The game. Remember, it's a game. A game. [I think you're the only one who's confused, to be honest -Ed]
Set on a remote southern island, one of those cheeky DOA rapscallions has invited all the lasses over claiming that it will host the next DOA tournament. As they soon discover however, it's just his way of accumulating totty for easy access. Having nailed him to the tree [so to bloody speak -Ed], they decide to bask in the sun and play a bit of volleyball instead of jetting home immediately. What ensues is the most gratuitous exercise in videogame titillation since that Barbarian cover.
The visuals will be served from the top shelf, with lots of flattering curves and excessive polygon counts. The gameplay will be set in the morning, afternoon and evening to catch the girls in all manner of poses and lighting, and these aren't blonde-haired bimbos either - Tecmo is promising plenty of advanced AI, even grudge-holding AI. If you pair up with a girl who happens to be on your wrong side, you might have more difficulty cooperating than you should.
Apart from volleyball, which forms the basis for the main and versus modes, players will also perform "activities" elsewhere on the island, although Tecmo hasn't yet alluded to them in full. We do know there will be gambling in the island casino, and that you can personalise your characters by picking up new and skimpier clothes from the island shop, but the full extent of the voyeurism has yet to be unveiled. Although, Tecmo did tell the X02 legions that you can, er, fiddle with everything, right down to Hitomi's nail colour and suntan if you so desire. However, the girls might not like what you choose for them, so you have to pick carefully and respectfully. Pick a tiny g-string and a factor 5 sunblock and expect the slap in the face you usually get.
DOA XBV is due out in early 2003. It'll certainly be something to get up for. [Can I fire him? -Ed]