If you click on a link and make a purchase we may receive a small commission. Read our editorial policy.

Obligatory Xbox hate-stirring article

Hide the children, lest they be crushed by the might of Microsoft - literally!

So the Xbox launched today, and with it we got our first glimpse of Microsoft's vision of console gaming for the next few years. Entertaining software like Halo and Project Gotham aside, we thought we would focus on the various things that are going to draw negative press attention in the next few days. At the end, we'll balance it with an anti-Sony comment so it looks as though we're not actually biased, but of course really we are! First up, there are some wonderful lines from the Xbox manual. According to buyers, there are warnings that if the Xbox falls and hits someone, especially a small child, it could cause serious injury! We don't have the exact wording, sadly, but as owners of several small children ourselves we are naturally both shocked and appalled. We will be taking these concerns to Microsoft towards the weekend. Probably via a mobile phone while at the pub, as it happens. There's also a note that if the Xbox is overheating for whatever reason, a little orange LED will flash to alert the user. Of course, this shouldn't happen unless you put it on top of a stove or something, or light campfires inside of it. The console will probably crash if it overheats though, but don't worry, if you (literally) fry your PS2 it will also crash. GameCube is resilient because it is from a higher plane of existence. Interestingly, someone has managed to produce an image of what (apparently) happens if your Xbox works out that it's busted. This is not - repeat: not - what happens when a game crashes, because they don't. Just as we said they wouldn't. This is what happens when your Xbox realises that something is wrong on the inside. Use it as wallpaper or something if you like. Of course it's actually a big conspiracy - you'll have spotted that that's a Sony Trinitron TV... Beyond that, apparently it's possible to reproduce a bug in DOA3 where a kick or punch can pass through a torso without doing any damage... Is that it? Really, we were expecting some more impressive bugs than that. If any of you have actually bought an Xbox, let's hear about your experience with it. We're eager to find out what others think, because at the moment we only have voice of Xbox fansites to go on, and as such we have to take what say with a pinch of salt. Oh, and by the way, apparently Metal Gear Solid 2 only takes a few hours to finish. Or something. You know. Whatever. Related Feature - Xbox launches!

You're not signed in!

Create your ReedPop ID & unlock community features and much, much more!

Create account
Tagged With
About the Author
Tom Bramwell avatar

Tom Bramwell

Contributor

Tom worked at Eurogamer from early 2000 to late 2014, including seven years as Editor-in-Chief.

Comments
Eurogamer.net logo

Buy things with globes on them

And other lovely Eurogamer merch in our official store!

Explore our store
Eurogamer.net Merch