A quick and handy digest of some of the interesting things people have said this week. And of course stuff we've been aching to make fun of.
"It promises to be the most spectacular, creative, and unflinching realisation of a Clive Barker nightmare that will drag players in kicking and screaming." Clive Barker explains what Clive Barker's new Clive Barker game will be like. The other ones, by the sound of it. (Link)
"I have realised I've got the PR equivalent of Tourette's. I can't help myself. It's the inability to downplay stuff - I have to get excited!" Peter Molyneux. Wait, there's more.
"It's a very, very big thing and if I told you about it, it's one word, and if I told you about it then you'd say: 'what are you talking about? It's another one of those Peter Molyneux moments.'" Probably best to stop talking about it then.
"Fable 2 should be everything you expect, then 10 times more that you don't expect - and that doesn't just apply to this one feature... I almost said it then! - that applies to the whole game." Apparently Molyneux won't talk about Fable 2's mythical new idea until next year. Ten quid says he breaks in about a fortnight. (Link)
"I can tell you that I no longer have any interest in making these kinds of games." David Jaffe, barely a week after getting excited about the prospect of God of War 3. Developer blogs are great, but they are a bit like listening to a friend think out loud at the pub and then change his mind ten minutes later. (Link)
"In order to showcase my vision for Lumines II, we needed to find music and videos with just the right tone, mix and energy to incorporate into the game," Eurogamer pal Tetsuya Mizuguchi explains Lumines II's track listing, prior to getting very drunk at the GamesIndustry.biz party in Brighton. (Link)
"Black Eyed Peas - 'Pump It' :(" UK Resistance makes a reasonable point in response.
"[Smothered laughter] Oh no!" An unnamed Nintendo of America customer service rep reacts to the news that an unfortunate blogger's DS Lite has been utterly mangled by his dog. (Link)
"Byte Hell 2000 [commonly mistranslated title]," Wikipedia offers translation help for those of us writing about WorkTimeFun aka WTF's path from Japan to the US.
"Byte Hell 2000 heads west" The headline Tom spent the next four hours kicking himself over. And he's got powerful legs. (Link)
"The Company did not make such an announcement and has not made any decisions resembling those detailed in the media report," Square Enix's refreshingly direct response to a Japanese report that it's working on a sequel to Final Fantasy XI. One of the few companies that doesn't boringly declare everything "rumour and speculation". (Link)
"We do not comment on rumours and speculation." An unnamed publisher gets back to us this week about something we asked about. We had pictures and everything.
"We haven't announced anything for the UK and Europe." "It is regional specific, so each territory will make their own decision." "It's not one I'm aware of." "We have nothing to announce at the time." What they usually say when we make an inquiry about something they know isn't true.
"The German Age Rating system (as your much better informed readers already know) cannot ban a game," Marek Klingelstein of the German ratings board explains in an email that news of Dead Rising's censure is premature. "Please, no more green blood discussion," he adds. (Link)
"The funny thing is, some people say that discursively, like it's some sort of dig at Nintendo - and what they don't get is that if you're second on everybody's system, you're first overall." EA's Jeff Brown makes the not unreasonable point that being a second system is actually good news. Meanwhile, Nintendo hurriedly tries to stuff a GameCube under the nearest carpet. (Link)
"Strawberry Shortcake Dance Dance Revolution lets players experience the exciting action of DDR with a Strawberry Shortcake twist. Featured characters include Strawberry Shortcake, Blueberry Muffin, Raspberry Torte, Lemon Meringue and Rainbow Sherbet dancing along with themed music such as 'Straw-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Berry Shortcake.'" Konami and Majesco outline their plans for a new DDR game. Perhaps they're worried that players are getting so healthy they've no reason to play any more.
"By evolving our development process to an episodic approach, we're able to reduce risk from things such as schedule and funding and invest more in new types of gameplay. This allows us to produce innovative titles such as Portal and Team Fortress 2 and deliver them in a timely fashion to customers along with Episode 2." Gabe Newell on the news that TF2, announced in 1998, will ship with Episode 2 later this year. Just imagine how long it would've taken without those evolved development processes, eh? (Link)
"Can you move house soon, please?" Tom's neighbours, the morning after a night involving rather a lot of wine and Guitar Hero. He likes to sing the words too.
Seen or heard anything that belongs here? Drop us a line: email@example.com. Please mark all emails "Quotes of the Week". We'll reward the best ones we haven't found ourselves with free games. (No extra marks for pointing out the stupid things we say, by the way - we already know we're stupid.) This week's winner: Tom rewards himself. With more wine, obviously.
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