Well hello there.
Well, that was quite special. Mario x Rabbids is a thing, and while that's no big shock the real surprise is it's a very fine looking thing, a kind of weird XCOM hybrid with lots of character and heart. Elsewhere, Skull & Bones is an all-new pirate-themed IP (with the salty whiff of Black Flag to it) and - I almost can't believe I'm typing this - Beyond Good & Evil 2 lives on. Here's all the action as it happened.
Just under one hour to go before Ubisoft kicks off, and I've got everything crossed that, in the absence of Aisha Tyler, Mister Caffeine will be making his long-awaited return.
It's been a good few months since Mister Caffeine - or Aaron Priceman, as he's known to fans such as myself - has tweeted, but I'm holding out hope.
Aaron's a man of many talents, and I'm hoping his performance as Mister Caffeine isn't all he's remembered for. Here's a showcase of his talents.
Aisha Tyler, I miss you.
Don't we all! I'm curious how they're going to fill the void.
More importantly, the Brighton office is all tucking into some amazing pizzas from our sponsors at VIP Pizza just down the road.
Sucks to be in LA right now I guess.
Thanks Martin. I just fell into the Aaron Priceman rabbit hole. That video you linked to, his webpage and finally his Twitter.
Sorry. I mean you're welcome.
Seriously, though, if Mister Caffeine comes back it'll be a bigger E3 moment than Shenmue 3 or Half-Life 3 or anything ever.
For me, anyway.
Less than 15 minutes to go, and I've already got a fair amount of pizza to get through.
Can I do it? Can I also make it through the next 30 minutes without collapsing into a cheese coma?
ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT! Stay tuned to www.youragamer.com for all the answers.
@pelican - my vote's with games journalists. Is that an option?
Oh I do love the Orpheum theatre, where Ubi traditionally holds its conferences.
Gonna be a long night this. After Twin Peaks at 2am last night - now tonight. Relying on my care package of doughnuts, crisps, chocolate, couple of Red Bulls and lots of coffee.
Beer, pizza and Mario Kart 8 to take us through the wait 'til Sony here. Ever the professionals at Eurogamer.
I'm contemplating whether or not to drink the last of my Morgans. Got a bit left.
Hello from the Orpheum! It's very warm.
When did you start that bottle? And do you take days off for E3 - that's hardcore if so!
We're two minutes from kick-off.
How's the proscenium, Tom?
I love that ornate bastard.
Not calling Tom ornate. Though he obviously is. Where it matters. Oh god I'm going to put this beer to one side.
There he is!
It pre-emptively misses Aisha Tyler, and so do I.
Yeah, I'm off until Thursday
And here we go.
The most pizazz, flair and weirdness you'll see in any conference this year. It's the Ubisoft show!
Water! Space! Tarmac!
Oh, and Rabbids.
Lol, I guess.
A Rabbids Mario game?! WHAT
That's not Mario. And that's not Aisha Tyler.
The dream is reality - and here's Miyamoto to tell us more.
Oh god they've given him a gun.
Miyamoto getting a standing ovation from fans.
Not like this.
Not... like... this...
That is already a gif.
Actually my heart just melted, because Miyamoto is happiness.
From the DS to Wii... to Switch!
Poor Wii U.
Miyamoto is rocking some of Uniqlo's new range of Nintendo-themed t-shirts.
Don't want to speak out of turn, but... That's one of the less good ones. Sorry chap.
Reminder: Miyamoto is not Link.
Might as well tell me Father Christmas isn't real next.
Beardy dude tearing up.
The director of the game, there, with tears in his eyes.
Oh it's hard to be cynical at times like this.
I think I want to play this game now, purely on the warmth of this reveal.
This has been in development for three years. You know a lot about it already, I'm sure, given the leaks.
A surprised 'oh' here in the office in Brighton, when it becomes clear this actually looks alright?
Johnny Chiodini just laughed at the Rabbids.
What is even going on today.
So it's Mario XCOM.
How are we supposed to deal with all this at once?
IT'S MARIO XCOM.
I... I think I always wanted to play Mario XCOM and I didn't know until Ubisoft opened my eyes.
I've had too many of my pills again haven't I?
Everyone here is questioning their very existence right now. My mind has genuinely been blown.
That tech tree... Those specials. Wow.
What the hell was in that pizza I just ate?
I really want this game.
I don't want to ruin anything, but well, Ubisoft just spoilt one of its big surprises over on YouTube.
Look away now if you want to keep it a surprise......
(It's a pirate game called Skull and Bones).
And now, Assassin's Creed Oranges, which we saw during the Microsoft presser last night and which looks very much like Assassin's Creed.
And good god it's the 10th anniversary of the series. Really?
It feels longer.
I've just been told that Mario Rabbids is out the same day as the XCOM 2 expansion. Fine trolling there.
For a proper look at Assassin's Creed there's a 30 minute playthrough later.
For now, though, let's watch someone play it on a washed-out monitor.
Cor, would love the Digital Foundry verdict on that monitor.
The Crew 2 now.
I quite liked The Crew, but I never, ever expected a sequel.
There was a lot that needed fixing. But also a lot that was uniquely special.
Inception moratorium please.
Also I'm betting the actual game isn't like Inception with landscapes folding in on themselves, as this CG trailer suggests.
It does look like it'll have planes though!
The Crew sounded cool on paper, but the handling was terribad. On the other hand, this means that if they fixed the terribad handling, it could be amazing.
Yeah, the handling always was a big problem, even after its big update.
And boats! It has boats!
Actually that was quite cool and now I feel bad.
Also I'm betting the actual game isn't like Inception with landscapes folding in on themselvesI dunno, did you see AC:Unity on release?
Okay I'm looking forward to this too. More actual race tracks too - if I recall correctly, you could visit Laguna Seca in the original? I can't remember any other tracks.
After the relative slumps of EA, Bethesda and - to a degree - Microsoft, it's nice to have a conference with some flair and spark.
I appreciate I'm the only person here who's interested in The Crew 2, though. The rest of you go to the fridge and get a beer or something.
It has Porsches, because everything has Porsches these days.
They're probably even in Assassin's Creed now.
There were honestly spoilers on-screen when I typed that.
I'm surprised the original did well enough to warrant a sequel, given (perhaps this site aside) there was a lot of negativity around it.
Nope, I'm definitely interested too. Which makes 2 of us.
Woohoo! Let's be friends!
What a lovely man. He was a bit like Jeff Goldblum playing on half speed.
There was something weirdly ominous about that send off.
I have never seen a single episode of South Park.
Will we see WILD today?
Not a Ubisoft game, I'm afraid - though it is the work of Ubisoft's Michel Ancel. Confusing, I know...
It's weird, sitting here in the Orpheum Theatre, watching the end of Ubisoft's press conference on a 320p stream Ubisoft has itself posted.
This conference is full of surprises.
Neuroscience is the new "a wizard did it".
Is this an Elijah Wood simulator?
What it actually looks like is a very neat experimental VR game.
Transference. I have no idea what it is, but I am interested in it.
Is it just me...or is this a really good conference?
It's great so far!
This is the 'surprise' they spoilt earlier.
"Transference. I have no idea what it is, but I am interested in it."
It's when you fancy your psychiatrist.
Did you like Black Flag? Because here's more of it.
Or at least something very like it.
Why are they making another pirate game?Cos they YARRRRRRRRRRRR!
Well done 10/10 have a biscuit.
Do please stop this shitty pop cover nonsense though please.
The new John Lewis Christmas ad is a bit extreme.
Skull & Bones. Now, some gameplay would be lovely.
Which funnily enough you can find on the front page of Eurogamer right now thanks to Ubisoft's leak.
Damn it was great until they said it was MP
Took the wind out of their sails a bit. SAILS! PIRATE SHIPS HAVE SAILS!
I'm going to be honest, this is everything I had hoped Sea of Thieves would be x 1000
This does look like reheated Black Flag assets. Not that I'm complaining. Too much.
'Drown you soggy nutmegs' is my soundbite of the show so far.
Pirates are this year's space marines.
Everything was pirates.
I don't have any friends so it's no good to me.
Shanties and ships and lovely water and kraken!
I'll be playing that.
Just Dance! A Jamiraquai special edition.
I'm waiting for the year they finally admit they haven't actually made a Just Dance game in years - they just like dancing at E3.
It is with some pride that I say I have no idea how to spell Jamiraquoai.
This is hard.
By the time I've figured it out this conference will have wrapped up.
And I totally missed a dancing panda bear during my efforts.
I do like that they insist on live singing for these annual dance interludes.
Even if the results aren't always flattering.
Anyway here's a South Park game for mobile.
Here's that space game they teased in Watch Dogs 2 perhaps?
It's a Switch game.
No one told Ubi toys to life was dead.
And it's a toys to life game too.
That's a very different 'oh' to the one that met the Rabbids gameplay earlier, by the way.
Do you remember that time when Ubisoft did laser tag?
That was Starlink, a toys to life game for PS4, Xbox One and Switch.
This might be a couple of years too late I'm afraid Ubisoft.
Or maybe it's a couple of years too early!
Oh, Steep. Maybe this is an update on the Switch version.
I bloody love Steep.
Wake up, Steeple.
I get this joke.
This is the first expansion for Steep. No word on that Switch version, though. Was it cancelled while I was looking the other way?
It's an Olympics-themed expansion featuring multiple disciplines, tied into next year's Winter Olympics.
Far Cry 5.
Or Father Trump, as we'll always call it here at Eurogamer.
And then there's smiling like a naughty five-year-old after doing a swear.
This is our first look at Far Cry 5 gameplay.
Airplanes, 18 wheelers, co-op, muscle cars and plenty of hicks.
That all sounds like quite a fun mix?
This, everyone, is Beyond Good & Evil 2.
What an absolute corker of a press conference.
Ubisoft has just won this year's E3. Probably next year's, and we may as well give them 2016 too.
This is big gallic sci-fi and I absolutely love it.
But yes, gameplay would be lovely please.
I am actually crying too.
Here's Ancel on-stage, and he wipes back a tear.
I've waited so very long for this.
As do a few people in the audience. Bless you Tom!
It's a prequel, set before Jade was born.
When is it out - and also what actually is it?
Anyway, it is very much a thing. Beyond Good & Evil 2 is real, whatever form it'll eventually take.
A storming press conference from Ubisoft - as ever, really.
You're up next, Sony. We'll all be back from 2am BST to see what the future of PlayStation holds.
Thanks for joining us. And don't drink too many beers before 2am!
That's as much a reminder for me as it is for you all. See you later!