Ellie writes: Dear readers,
There are so many things wrong with Fighter Within it's impossible to keep count. The first thing you notice is the gesture recognition. Kinect struggles to comprehend the most basic of hand movements. Performing simple actions requires gargantuan amounts of perseverance and luck, and frequently leaves you frustrated, furious and exhausted. And that's just the menu screens.
So that's thing one. Thing two: the characters. Perhaps you thought that now the next generation is here, we could say goodbye to fighting game rosters populated by tedious racist caricatures and women who have decided the most practical thing to wear when engaging in vicious hand-to-hand combat is metallic hotpants.
But no! Say hello to DJ Joao. One of two black characters in the game, he fights not only with a pair of headphones attached to his belt but while wearing a pair of earbuds, just in case anyone forgot for a moment that he is a DJ. I suspect he lives in fear of an opponent one day discovering he is listening to Mumford and Sons.
As it stands, Sony's games are more expensive on PlayStation 4 than Microsoft's are on Xbox One.
Well it wouldn't be a console launch without some absolute stinkers, and doing the honours for the Xbox One is Ubisoft's Fighter Within, a Kinect-powered brawler that sees you flailing around to strike a series of inelegant attacks.
Hang on, doesn't this all sound a bit familiar? If you remember Kinect launch title Fighters Uncaged it probably is (Elle's verdict was a curt 'no'), and this new outing continues the legacy of mediocrity. We're looking to bring you a review shortly, but in the mean time Ian's volunteered to do some flailing so you don't have to, and you can have a gander at his efforts live from 5pm GMT here.
Ellie's review of Fighters Uncaged, Ubisoft's ill-advised launch game for the first Kinect, has passed into Eurogamer legend. Look, it was a difficult time, OK? She's better now.
UPDATE: Microsoft has just confirmed the previously-leaked Fighter Within on stage during its Gamescom 2013 press briefing.