Download Games Roundup
Vexis! Trailblaze! Fishies! Blade! Breed!
If FADE's research is on the money, then it's glaringly apparent that not many of you are buying into the download dream just yet. When a title with as much universal critical acclaim as Limbo can reportedly sell a mere 128,000 worldwide, it makes you wonder how that breaks down per territory. If the US maybe accounts for 50 per cent of that, then that's just 64,000 for the whole of Europe. If the UK accounts for up to 30 per cent of that, then, what, 21,000-odd have bothered to buy it so far. It's hardly what you'd call stellar sales, is it?
And yet elsewhere, mighty indie powerhouse Halfbrick announced this week that it has sold two million units of its iOS title Fruit Ninja - a game we awarded a miserly 5/10 to, remember. Is it simply the case that when it comes to instant download accessibility, we're much more inclined to play them on our phones? Or is it that download games just aren't promoted well enough for people to bother to seek them out? Do tell.
Editor's note: Due to the immense volume of download releases, we've decided to expand and split the Download Games Roundup into two editions per week. Your regular Friday lunchtime roundup will continue, but, starting with this week's, it will focus exclusively on console, handheld and PC games.
It will be joined soon by the Mobile Games Roundup on Mondays, which will concentrate on games for your phone (and also include iPad coverage, for obvious reasons). Kristan Reed will continue to be your host for both. And, yes, we've finally bought him an Android handset, so he'll be able to properly cover games for Google-powered devices. We'll be reviewing Windows Phone 7 games in future, too. See, we do listen. Sometimes. -Oli
- WiiWare / 500 WiiWare Points (£3.50)
While you're sat there joylessly munching away at your desk, spare a thought for Derek, the dying cannibal fish. Born with a hole in his stomach, he has no choice but to continually eat just to stay alive.
Unfortunately for the rest of fishiekind, his survival comes at a rather high price, as he munches inexorably through entire shoals with nary a thought for the moral consequences. Sometimes it's handy not to be able to remember this stuff.
Demented Derek also feels the need to continually swim around in circles, and piloting the wayward fish-guzzling fiend involves stabbing the A button (and only the A button) with varying degrees of velocity. Like steering a party balloon as the air escapes from its rubbery nether regions, it's quite comfortably one of the most haphazard controls systems ever devised.
Presumably the complete absence of control accuracy is the point, so DK-Games ups the ante by throwing spiky enemies into the fray. Forced to dance gingerly between spinning rows of deadly foes, poor Derek never stood a chance.
Playable over three levels of difficulty/irritation, Fishie Fishie is one of those games where it'll be about 20 minutes before you've had your fill and will want to hurt soft toys for their part in the conspiracy. By the time you've waded through the numerous multiplayer variations on the mayhem, it feels entirely appropriate to batter it.