Ubisoft released Monopoly for Nintendo Switch this week, and players have discovered it has pretty horrendous loading times.
So here it is, merry Christmas, everybody's having fun. Except me, because I've been given yet another pile of pisspoor old tat for the Wii to plough through. Thanks, Santa, try not to catch your beard on the barbed wire I left up the chimney.
To be fair, not all of them are completely terrible. Monopoly looks nice, though obviously it is quite boring. Boogie Superstar will make your dreams come true, assuming you are nine and have ovaries. Celebrity Sports Showdown will also make your dreams come true, assuming you dream about playing badminton with Keith Urban.
But what's this? Why, it's a rotten videogame tie-in for a rubbish daytime TV show that looks like it took all of 20 minutes and two pounds to develop. And look here! It's a collection of board game conversions that's ultimately so pointless it's driven me to the point of existential crisis. Ho ho ho!
Away from Planet GTA and the column-inch-hogging torrent of associated mega-numbers, another stat smuggled through in a press release this week said just as much about today's games market as any midnight queues outside your local ASDA.
EA's upcoming Monopoly game - part of a multi-game partnership with Hasbro - will feature a special fast-paced family mode full of mini-games when it comes out later this year on PC (Pogo.com), PS2, Wii and Xbox 360.
EA and Hasbro, sitting in a tree, making games about recognisable properties for Nintendo formats.