Did you know that in 2015 more people died while taking selfies than were killed in deadly shark attacks? I don't know how many people typically die in deadly shark attacks each year, and I've wasted enough of Google's time this week to bother finding out, but it makes for a snippy tabloid headline, or barstool factoid -- providing nobody asks too many follow-ups. Like a furious and lonely baby boomer in a Daily Mail comments section, I'd be tempted to judge the unfortunates behind the statistic were it not for the fact that, earlier this week I fell out of a tree while trying to photograph bird eggs.
Most of us fancy ourselves as virtual photographers these days. Not everyone is an Ansel Adams, but the tools for taking pictures have never been more accessible, nor as readily available to so many. In most games, it's merely a matter of pressing a button: Share, or F12, or F10 if you're using Fraps. Or saying "Xbox, take a- ah, damn, it moved. Xbo- hang on. Stop listening. Xbox, take a screenshot". (Okay, it's easier for some than for others.)
N64 classic Pokémon Snap will develop a new lease of life when it film rolls out this Thursday onto Wii U Virtual Console.
Without order, there can only be chaos. A terrifying, dark whirling maelstrom of chaos, tearing through our thin veneer of humanity like a banshee's wail. Chaos. So, Mr Nintendo, when you've established a neat rhythm of Friday Virtual Console releases, don't go and confuse me by releasing a new game on a Tuesday. It throws the very equilibrium of my being off kilter, and leaves me feeling lost and scared. And hungry.
Mmm. Hula Hoops.
It's Friday, and that means Nintendo has lined up another pair of ageing beauties to glide Sophia Loren-like across your router's DMZ into the beckoning, slightly sweaty arms of your Wii's onboard flash memory. This week it's Mega Man 2 and the amazingly brilliantly named Top Hunter.