Dante's Inferno Review

By Ellie Gibson Published 3 February, 2010

Feel the burn.

Version tested: Xbox 360

Basing your game on a 14th century poem set in Hell has certain advantages. For starters, you don't have to pay copyright fees or worry about the author of the source material complaining you've bastardised his work. In fact you don't have to worry about anyone complaining as only 27 people in the world have bothered to read the thing, and half of them are lying.

But there are risks too. You can't employ many of the most popular action-adventure staples such as guns, cars, aliens, Nazis, wisecracking sidekicks and love interests with buttocks like two basketballs in a pillowcase. You're limited by the types of enemies you can create and the environments they can inhabit. As is the case with any game set in Hell, you risk ending up with one big lava level.

So what's a developer to do? Why, find another game with no guns, cars or aliens and rip it off, or so it would seem in the case of Dante's Inferno. In fact, this game has so many similarities to a certain other series it's hard to believe it wasn't originally called Dante's Infernof War.

True, you don't play as a muscular bloke in a loincloth who sports a pair of big blades and some swirly red body art. You play as a muscular bloke in chainmail who sports a single big blade and some cross-shaped red body art. You can jump and press other face buttons to perform light and heavy attacks. There are various combos to learn and new ones to unlock as the game progresses, along with magic attacks. Levels mainly involve hacking Hell's minions into little bits but are punctuated with set-pieces, simple puzzles, boss battles and quick-time events.

True, you're not out to avenge the death of your beloved family; you're out to rescue the soul of your beloved Beatrice. She bet the devil that Dante wouldn't betray her while out on one of his Crusades, and lost. So now, as Dante, you must battle through the nine circles of Hell - lust, greed, heresy, Ikea on a bank holiday Monday etc. - in a bid to get her back.

'Dante's Inferno' Screenshot 1

Not to be confused with Kanye's Inferno, in which the outspoken rapper falls asleep while holding a lit cigarette.

Guiding you on this journey is the poet Virgil, who uses the same technology employed by Princess Leia to appear as a ribbly blue hologram. He provides basic exposition at regular intervals and if you want to know more about what's going on, pressing R1 encourages him to explain further. All of Virgil's lines are suitably grave and sound like they were written in the 14th century. They were, in fact; his dialogue was lifted directly from the titular poem.

Unfortunately the rest of the script wasn't. It's packed with clichés and colloquialisms, and much of the voice acting is so naff that even the decent lines sound rubbish. Take the game's opening scene, in which you must battle none other than Death himself. This is less exciting than it sounds, partly because Death fights with all the speed and power of a sleepy kitten. But also because he spouts things like, "You dare to defy me, mortal?" in an American accent.

'Dante's Inferno' Screenshot 2

Or Dante's Cove, the gay horror soap opera starring Babylon 5's Tracy Scoggins. True story.

As you prepare to stove his head in for the final time he confirms himself as an utter weed by begging, "No, wait - please!" It doesn't feel like you're defeating the terrifying spectre of grim mortality so much as a baddie out of Thundercats.

Bosses do get harder to defeat as the game goes on, but not by much, and their dialogue doesn't improve. A few levels on from the Death episode you end up fighting a giant blue woman. It seems more likely her dialogue was cut and pasted from the Big Book of Videogame Clichés than Dante's epic poem. Highlights include: "You have given up the keys to the kingdom - and for what? The tits of a slave girl!"

Tits abound in Dante's Inferno, and not just in the script. The giant blue woman has giant blue tits, complete with independently animated nipples. At one point the nipples burst open and out comes an army of evil babies with scythes for arms. They crawl across the woman's breasts and she uses a giant blue hand to scoop them up and fling them at Dante. Freud would have not so much had a field day as a four-day music festival with six stages and sponsorship by O2.

Beatrice will use any excuse to get her tits out, such as being killed, being dead or being sad that Dante condemned her by fondling someone else's tits (which we get to see too, obviously). In a couple of instances only one of her breasts is shown, which is presumably meant to make you think you're looking at art rather than an excuse to whack in another tit. To balance things out, there are a few enemies who sport huge thorny penises - but they're actually women, as you can tell by their massive tits.

Before everyone starts calling me a mad old feminist lesbian (which I may become if I have to look at many more huge thorny penises), I'm not saying tits should be banned from videogames. Especially not 18-rated ones like Dante's Inferno. I do understand lots of people like tits (though I wonder how many of them really go from six to midnight when the tits are computer-generated, blue and spurting scythe-wielding babies).

I'm saying their use here feels silly, gratuitous and anomalous. It's as if EA hauled in a 14-year-old boy as a consultant and this was his best idea. The tits are not offensive, they're just daft, and not in keeping with the impression of artistic gravitas the game is attempting to generate.

There's a similar problem with the cut-scenes. These are a mixture of Bayeux tapestry-style animated tableaux and simple 2D cartoons, which are excellent, and traditional CGI scenes, which often aren't. They're full of silly dialogue, naff designs, over-the-top special effects and poor lip-synching. Dante's Inferno keeps trying to be a work of art but then panicking and remembering it's a videogame, and ending up a pretty generic one as a result.

At least many of the environments are impressive, particularly early on. The designers have made excellent use of the fire and brimstone at their disposal. There are some great grotesque details, like the doors you open stabbing the demons attached to them. There are lakes of molten gold and rivers of boiling blood, complete with dozens of drowning souls. There are plenty of sheer drops, towering columns and gaping chasms, all of which help create to the sensation that you are indeed on a vertical descent.

'Dante's Inferno' Screenshot 3

The best magic attack is Lust Storm, which is accompanied by orgasmic moans and should really be called the Je T'aime Moi Non Plus Combo.

While in a typical action-adventure you mind find yourself climbing walls covered with vines, here you scale boney cages behind which lost souls weep and wail. There's an awful lot of weeping and wailing throughout Dante's Inferno, not to mention regular bouts of dramatic choral howling. The gothic visuals, grisly death animations and harrowing audio effects combine to create an environment which is a pretty horrid and depressing place to be, appropriately.

The problem is you can't really take it all in due to the game's fixed camera. It works well enough from a practical point of view - the angles switch seamlessly and you're never left fighting enemies you can't see. But you can't use the right stick to look around, no matter how spectacular the scene. This is frustrating and makes the game feel dated, particularly if you're used to having such freedoms in games like Uncharted and Assassin's Creed.

The other issue is that as the game progresses, it all starts to look a bit samey. Stabbing demons to open doors is a novelty at first; 19 doors later it's become a time-consuming interruption, and you can't help wishing they'd just put a switch in. All the weeping and wailing gets a bit much and the choral howling begins to repeat itself. Those environmental details begin to crop up too often - once you've rappelled down one wall of suppurating fire-breathing rectums, you've rappelled down them all.

The repetition really kicks in during the last few levels. The penultimate circle is simply a series of arenas in which you must complete a series of boring challenges - defeat all the enemies, defeat all the enemies without using magic, defeat all the enemies except this time there's more of them, and so on. Every arena looks pretty much the same and all the enemies have featured in previous levels. You might think this is training preparation for the epic, hardcore final circle - but without wishing to spoil anything, you might be disappointed.

The combat also starts to feel repetitive as the game goes on, despite the presence of a character progression system. As you defeat enemies you absorb their souls. These can then be used to buy new Holy and Unholy moves via a ninetiestastic talent tree. All of the moves have silly names like Soul Stabber and Abominable Slam, suggesting they've been inspired by the works of Stone Cold Steve Austin rather than Dante Aligheri. All of them can be ignored completely in favour of mashing away at the buttons.

You can earn extra souls by spearing enemies with your scythe, then choosing whether to Absolve them (by hammering one button) or Punish them (by pressing another). During this process any nearby minions of Hell who were in the middle of attacking you will stand back politely, as though waiting their turn for the hummus spoon at a buffet. It only takes an extra second or two but by the time you're several levels and a few hundred enemies in, it seems a lot easier to forget the spear business altogether and just hack everyone up.

Throughout the game you'll come across the souls of historical figures condemned to Hell for horrendous crimes, and once again you can choose to Absolve or Punish them. Just like in real life, being bad is more fun - pick Punish and you get to watch Dante scythe the poor unfortunate in the face. Pick Absolve and you must play a mind-numbing mini-game which involves hitting the various face buttons as icons pass through them. It's like a rubbish rhythm-action game, except there isn't any music. The reward for taking the holier path is extra Souls to buy more moves with, but the mini-game is so dull I'd pay actual pound coins not to play it again.

The few puzzles in the game are no more inspired. They all involve pulling switches and/or pushing crates (sorry, Mr Scriptwriter, but a crate is still a crate even if you call it a "slider"). Some aren't really puzzles at all. In one area, faced with three moving platforms, a pair of switches and two time delays, I spent ages trying to think laterally - only to discover the solution was just to run really fast. The answer to another puzzle, where a switch had descended into the floor, turned out to be killing all the enemies to make it magically reappear.

'Dante's Inferno' Screenshot 4

Will there be a sequel? Dante wrote two more poems and EA spent millions on this game. You do the "math".

So yes, you can add Dull Puzzles to the list of things which make Dante's Inferno worth avoiding - a list which already includes Repetitive Level Design, Daft Cut-Scenes and Generally Feeling Like It Was Made About Five Years Ago. Not to mention the fact it is physically impossible for anyone in the world to look at this game for more than 30 seconds without going, "Oh, it's like God of War."

But that fact is this game's saving grace. Let's not forget that the God of War titles are great, and in aping them so closely Dante's Inferno has ended up with some redeeming features. Punching, slicing, chopping and hacking your way through hordes of horned enemies is fundamentally enjoyable. The suitably gory animations make it rewarding, regardless of whether you're button-mashing or bothering to pull off the proper combos.

Also, there are some entertaining set-pieces and great visuals. Plenty of inspiration has been taken from the source material and this vision of Hell is at times truly grisly, atmospheric and harrowing. With that in mind, it's almost possible to ignore how depressing it is that even when you're in the darkest, fieriest bowels of Hell, surrounded by the agonised screaming of a thousand tormented souls, you still have to push a crate to open a door.

But you can't ignore the fact this is a God of War clone at its core, and many of the ideas here feel tired, familiar and dated. Nor can you ignore the fact that God of War III is nearly here. If it's a toss-up between that game and this one, as it probably will be for PS3 fans, you're best off waiting to see how Kratos' next adventure turns out.

All the same, Dante's Inferno is worth considering if you're a diehard hack-and-slasher fan who loves blood, gore, fire, brimstone, layered but simplistic combat systems and tits. This is more than one big lava level and it's not a terrible game. It's just not an original one, and it's arrived a little too late.

6 / 10

Read the Eurogamer.net scoring policy
Picture of Ellie.

About Ellie Gibson

Since joining Eurogamer in the mid 2000s, Ellie has written about subjects as diverse as the fall of Gizmondo, the rise of Hollyoaks actresses in Red Alert games and the noise a bear makes under NSFW circumstances.

Read more articles from Ellie by visiting the Ellie Gibson archive page.

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Comments (231) Latest comment 2 years ago

Comments threads automatically close after 30 days, but please feel free to continue chatting on the forum!

  • Emmit_Assassin #1 2 years ago

    Damn it. Though this might be an answer to GoW. Well, at least that's saved me £37 odd quid for something else...

    /cancels pre-order and waits patiently for bargain bin entrance...
    Edited by 1 at 03/02/10 @ 18:05

  • Gearskin #2 2 years ago

    10/10! I knew it!

  • beastmaster #3 2 years ago

    / saves money
    / waits for Bioshock 2 review

  • mcmonkeyplc #4 2 years ago

    Flame on!

  • Rens11 #5 2 years ago

    Didn't like the demo felt very average and tits in a game feels wierd!, lets hope GOW3 is as immense as it looks!
    Edited by 2 at 04/02/10 @ 16:51

  • redneon Verified Programmer, SUMO Digital #6 2 years ago

    "Tits abound in Dante's Inferno"

    SOLD!

  • Distributor #7 2 years ago

    beastmaster: bioshock 2 will be the biggest disappointment of the year. Just wait :)

  • Emmit_Assassin #8 2 years ago

    Normally I wouldn't let a bad review get in the way of a new release I was interested in, but with all the AAA titles out in the next couple of months I gotta be picky...

  • linea #9 2 years ago

    So not quite Hell to Bayonetta's Heaven then....

    more like purgatory.

  • the_dudefather #10 2 years ago

    so if Dead space is a 7/10, this is only a little bit worse than that!
    Edited by 1 at 03/02/10 @ 18:10

  • Zephro #11 2 years ago

    You could tell from the Demo it was going to get this score.

    Tits are fine but really, in an industry struggling to be taken seriously, need to be used in a sensible and grown up fashion.

  • Gearskin #12 2 years ago

    Only girls and gays don't like boobies.
    I hope the postie delivers mine tomorrow.

  • gjgjg #13 2 years ago

    this is to gow what wkc is to ffantasy xxxixiixixixix

  • spatss #14 2 years ago

    Ouchie. Will wait for God of War 3 then.

  • Senate #15 2 years ago

    Another gem for the PS3 then eh...

  • bumgut #16 2 years ago

    Ah well at least there's Aliens vs. Predator mulitplayer demo out tommorow.

  • Bleedingplums #17 2 years ago

    shit review

    (edit) Actually, now i've reread it sober, i think it's quite good
    Edited by 2 at 09/02/10 @ 20:05

  • CallousB #18 2 years ago

    It depresses me that EA are willing to spend $2.5 million dollars in advertising on this for just 1 Superbowl ad.

    That's probably 100 times more than their entire marketing budget for Dead Space : Extraction.

  • OllyJ #19 2 years ago

    repetition is what made Dead Space a bit of a chore for me too :(

  • linea #20 2 years ago

    Ducklord: she's talking about breasts?

    How disappointing. The ornithologist in me was quite excited about the concept of a boss woman with a pair of exploding bluetits.

  • JamieR #21 2 years ago

    I want this game for the atmosphere i like the look of it.

  • mkreku #22 2 years ago

    Not even tits could save this game? Damn it all to hell!

  • barrylyndon #23 2 years ago

    I dont trust this womans opinion. Stupid choice of reviewer.

  • penhalion #24 2 years ago

    I'll be ignoring this review given that everything said in it can be applied to GOW in spades! I'm betting that GOW somehow gets 9 or 10 though and all of the negatives for dantes are somehow hailed as the second coming for GOW.

    As for the demo. I liked it. I thought the combat was fun and certainly no worse than anything GOW has thrown at me. I hate quicktime events but, again a certain other game is chock full of the nonsense. Door needs opening! Quicktime, Chest needs opening! Quicktime etc. etc. And don't get me started on repetitive enemies!

    Luckily other reviewers have actually played Dantes!

  • myiagros #25 2 years ago

    I quite enjoyed the demo, but playing it at the same time as GoW:Collection showed exactly how much "insperation" they had taken from it.

    It is clearly not worth more than the £15 you could get either of GoW or GoWII for, so once it gets below that price i will look forward to playing it. With so few ideas of its own, there is no way i could justify a full price purchase.

    I can't wait for GoWIII, i can wait for this, but am sure i will enjoy it, once the price is right.

  • fjharps #26 2 years ago

    Kind of looking forward for this game since i first saw first screenshots. Then played the demo last month and wasn't very impressed and have been eagerly waiting for the first review score to actually confirm what I expected. Well still quite immersed in mass effect 2 and with potentially great games like God of war 3, Final Fantasy 13, bioshock 2 and heavy rain all to be released within the next couple of weeks there's definitely no time at the moment for a game like this one. Shame though.

  • Clive_Dunn #27 2 years ago

    "I dont trust this womans opinion. Stupid choice of reviewer."

    Thanks Barry, you've just vindicated EA's decision to put more effort into breasts than originality. At least put some effort in if you are trying to be insulting.

    "Wtf !!! Is this LesbianGamer or sumfink ?? Titzrock".

  • TheRankinator #28 2 years ago

    The score put me off a bit, but I really enjoyed the demo and as I can't play GoW3 and I'm not really interested in Bayonetta, I'll probably get this.

    I advise the reviewer to watch some of the interviews with the devs about how they approached each circle of hell, it was WAY more complex than just putting in titties, you made yourself sound like a total tool (and even spent like 2 pargaraphs doing it, bitter much!?).

    Oh, and lol @ captain save-a-hos downrating me
    Edited by 1 at 03/02/10 @ 18:54

  • El-Dev #29 2 years ago

    I wonder when Senate will realise this is Multi-plat.

    Glad I held out for GOWIII now, though I was tempted by this.

  • Tangled #30 2 years ago

    "Wtf !!! Is this LesbianGamer or sumfink ?? Titzrock"

    Wait, you mean lesbians don't like tits?

  • des #31 2 years ago

    I suppose she will also review God of War 3 now...that is if EG has any integrity...
    Be very afraid,Sony fans...

  • penhalion #32 2 years ago

    @Des

    Eurogamer continually shows that it has little integrity. I'm almost willing to bet money that GOW3 will be reviewed by whoever on staff is willing to give it the most marks.

  • Vyggo #33 2 years ago

    Since I've never have owned a playstation I have never played God of War. The formula will definately not be tired for me.

    I think reviewers should be VERY careful with calling something overdone/tired. They play almost all the games, but most of the buyers only buy a few games a year and are not subject to experiencing numerous games in the same genre. Just compare the quality of the game to other games in the genre, but try to withdraw from letting the boredom of playing games for a living cloud your judgement.

    How many GoW style games are there on the xbox 360?

    EDIT: the review was very enjoyable to read though, loved the ikea on bank holiday reference :p

    Edited by 1 at 03/02/10 @ 18:42

  • Machiavellian #34 2 years ago

    I happen to like the demo and since I never base my buying decision on one review, I will wait until a few more reviews come out from reviewers that share my taste before I make a decision.

  • makeamazing #35 2 years ago

    @Vyggo totally agree. I've never played any GOW games, and the only hack and slash game i can recall playing was Diablo 2... so. (which was a while ago..lol). yes you have to be very careful saying something is tired and overdone... there are many many gamers out there that havent played these types of games. In fact alot of players play many of the same genre types and are not bored of them...

  • Gearskin #36 2 years ago

    It's just an opinion, guyz. Other reviews are surfacing online now, from people who like this thing.

  • Goodfella #37 2 years ago

    Loved the demo, loved the other reviews I've read, this sounds like she didn't want to like it before even playing it. Anyway, pre-ordered and should arrive tomorrow. Anything that's like God of War is good enough for me and as said it's quite odd how the so called negatives in this review can also be aimed at God of War.

    This happens too much on this site, just like Ratchet and Clank - A Crack in Time was unfairly criticised for apparently doing nothing new (even though it did, and it was a superbly polished, fun game)

    Anyway, can't wait for this and God of War III.

  • Nephirion #38 2 years ago

    3 pages for a 6 lol

  • easychord #39 2 years ago

    @Vyggo; If you want a God of War clone for the 360 then you could get Conan. It has naked ladies and a higher score on Eurogamer so it is legally better according to any court in the land. It should also be quite cheap now.

  • spreeta #40 2 years ago

    The game is shaping up to be a fun and solid game. Sure it's in a crowded genre, but I think it did do enough to set itself apart. I was looking at the other reviews of Dante Inferno surfacing online and they are generally favorable, so your issue really came down to the "tits" then? Hmmm.... I really wonder if you actually played the game through.

  • andywilkie35 #41 2 years ago

    Fucking can't wait for this, should be here tomorrow, gonna be epic

  • BrotherHorus #42 2 years ago

    Strange that everything this reviewer says is bad most of the other reviews ive read list as positives, the god of war referencing is boring, we all know its very similar. I still think it will be good fun and will definately be keeping me up to my knees in blood over the weekend.

  • Mark1412 #43 2 years ago

    Subjectivity causes angry man-children to be angry.

  • jimboton #44 2 years ago

    I'll be ignoring this review given that everything said in it can be applied to GOW in spades! I'm betting that GOW somehow gets 9 or 10 though and all of the negatives for dantes are somehow hailed as the second coming for GOW.

    Not everything. GOW's puzzles were sometimes actually quite ingenious, well beyond basic crate pushing/lever pulling. Because of this both games had an 'adventure' feel that prevented the hacking and slashing from becoming too repetitive. I think that's what may be missing here..

  • curtlikesmeat #45 2 years ago

    Was sort of interested in the concept but the demo was fairly boring / rubbish - could be any game of that style from the last ten years with a new skin on it. I kind of feel like an RPG based on this concept (and without the arse for dialogue) would have been the way forward.

  • Lemming81 #46 2 years ago

    I'm all for tearing a game a new one when it's got shit tired game mechanics (as this appears to), but in this case yes you did sound like a feminist lesbian nutcase (ignorantly so), as giving the setting gratuitous tits/nakedness seem to fit perfectly in my mind.

  • TRUTH #47 2 years ago

    C & VG 90/100
    PS Focus 89/100
    Digital Chumpos 88/100
    SpazioGames 88/100
    Planet Xbox 86/100
    XNG 88/100
    GamesDaily 8/10
    OXBM 8/10
    Eurogames 6/10

    The game seems to be mostly great in most areas but marks knocked off because it's similar to other games!...Isn't GoW similar to Ninja Gaiden (though more skill is required in NG) ? ...Also a game with the best fighting Bayonetta got knocked down a bit due to it being GoW clone!!!...Which in fact GoW is also a clone of other games.

    Zelda has always copied it's same formula everytime; as has Street Fighter, almost every racing game, Jrpg's, Fps etc etc...Yet when a hack & slash game comes it's always nit picking the same story of being a clone! GoW is also a hack & slash game that has copied form others and is mainly a button masher (no real strategy needed if fighting), but it seems that only GoW can do these hack & slash games - no one else.

  • curtlikesmeat #48 2 years ago

    P.S. Babylon 5 is NOT a big pile of shit ;)

  • Machiavellian #49 2 years ago

    I happen to love GOW but I also have to say that the gameplay was not innovative. The only different piece that GOW1 brought to the table that was different for games in the same genra was the QTEs. What set GOW above the rest (besides Ninja Gaiden) was the story and execution of its set pieces.

    What I have received from reading a few reviews out there for Dante is that the production value is high, it steals a lot of gameplay elements from GOW (which it does) and its a very enjoyable game. For people that have played GOW 1/2 then yes the game will be very familiar but newbies it should be a fresh enough experience.

  • richyroo #50 2 years ago

    I couldnt give a rats arse if it copies from other games. I thought we played games because they were fun, not because they ware original! (Although originality never hurts)

  • Ellie #51 2 years ago

    Yep, I did play it right the way through - I'd prove it by telling you the ending, but I'd only get accused of spoiling things :)

    I didn't just dislike the game because of the God of War similarities, or the tits. I found it got repetitive and felt dated, that the cut-scenes were silly and the puzzles were unimaginative, amongst other things mentioned in the review... Sorry if this wasn't clear enough.

    I did like some things about Dante's Inferno, and I as I said I do think diehard fans of the genre will find stuff to enjoy here - which is why it got 6 and not, say, 3 or 4.

  • Feanor #52 2 years ago

    Dante's Inferno has fanboys who can't handle a 6/10. News at 11.

  • Mark1412 #53 2 years ago

    If that's all you got from the review I suggest you go take a long hard look in the mirror and think things over. Not only does the reviewer specifically state God of War is good, but fully vindicates why the gratuitous use of breasts is a problem rather than just a minor personal issue.

  • waggy79 #54 2 years ago

    "so many 360 fans upset by this review, there's only one god of war im afraid"

    Actually theres (almost) 3 :-) And although im currently working my way through GOW collection, they're no works of genius.

    Bad attempt at fan-baiting anthony daniels, not that its the first time though eh?

  • Mark1412 #55 2 years ago

    It's not. Gratuitous use is for plenty of reasons. This review, third paragraph, page 2.

    Anyway there are plenty of websites out there with low standards who write reviews that reflect what their readership want to hear, rather than honest accounts, so go read one of them and I guarantee within a few moments you'll feel a lot better.
    Edited by 1 at 03/02/10 @ 19:24

  • Machiavellian #56 2 years ago

    Personally, I have no problems with Ellie review but like any review it's just one opinion. It is evident that what Ellie found to be a problem other reviewers did not. So the question for the reader is do you think the points brought up are a problem and if not then you can ignore this review.

    Case in point would be DarkSiders. This site I believe gave it an 8 but there were some sites that gave the game a low 7. I read those reviews as much as the high reviews to get a difference of opinion. Once I understood that the negatives were not negatives for me, I bought the game and it was a deserved purchase for me.

    Right now, after reading a few reviews, I can see the negatives in Ellie review are not negatives for me so Dante is looking like a purchase.
    Edited by 2 at 03/02/10 @ 19:31

  • ladbroke #57 2 years ago

    Hilarious! Genius review, Ellie.
    Edited by 1 at 03/02/10 @ 19:27

  • orpheus #58 2 years ago

    bet there's no huge thorny penises in the demo
    Edited by 1 at 03/02/10 @ 19:31

  • SimonM7 #59 2 years ago

    ...who write reviews that reflect what their readership want to hear...

    As opposed to writing what they don't want to hear? I dunno who benefits from a review that nobody agrees with really.

    Sure, I know that the lame approach to reviewing games that a lot of sites display isn't helping either, but I'm honestly a bit worried when a low score that sticks out from the norm is hailed as more "honest" just because it's low.

    It's a weird measure to go by perhaps, but Dead Space turned out a far better game than people originally seemed willing to understand. With the immense vocal abuse this has taken, from the fact that it's a videogame interpretation of the Divine Comedy, through the borrowed GoW template, to its use of sexy bits and nutty marketing, I dunno if anyone is even capable of giving the actual game a fair shake.

  • j-bo #60 2 years ago

    I love Ellie's reviews; they're perhaps some of the most refreshing and original to be found knocking around online. Makes such a nice change to actually feel someone has a particular review style, rather then the generic replaceable ones that clutter ign and whatnot.

  • Verminox #61 2 years ago

    Yay for sawn off nipples with dead fetus's crawling out.

  • SheffieldSteel #62 2 years ago

    So, let's see if I've got this straight.
    A woman has had the audacity to not only review a game aimed squarely at boys, but to give it a lower score than the mass of other reviewers, who are incidentally probably all boys.

    Perhaps we should be happy to see an alternative point of view, rather than feeling angry or threatened by it. Perhaps it isn't Ellie that's at fault here. Perhaps this game really isn't all that good, and the boys are scoring it higher than they should because, you know, boobies always win.

  • brigadier #63 2 years ago

    I will never get why people get upset at game review scores... It's ELLIE'S opinion of the game, not yours.

  • Scimarad #64 2 years ago

    I get the feeling that the review is much more entertaining than the game.

  • fiery_jackass #65 2 years ago

    Review jibes with my sampling. No sale confirmed, at least until bargain bin status is achieved oooo some time around March

    Gary_Hardman, your incisive arguments re the titties have shaped a brand new opinion within me.
    [pause for comic effect]
    you're an eejit.

  • fknetwork #66 2 years ago

    I thought the demo was really good, does this make me a bit weird?!?

  • Gearskin #67 2 years ago

    It makes you a man, fknetwork! High Five!

  • drumbaby #68 2 years ago

    At least the hardline 360ers get to experience the majesty of God of War....

  • fknetwork #69 2 years ago

    High five!
    Edited by 1 at 03/02/10 @ 19:52

  • Mark1412 #70 2 years ago

    @SimonM7

    I'm not saying it's honest because it has a low score at all, I just have no reason to assume this review isn't or suffers from being written by a writer with a vested interest or motive to hate. Many of the sites giving it scores nearer 8 are probably honest accounts too, but I oppose the kind of argument built on comparing scores to other websites and tend to view EG as a site that doesn't indulge in writing dull accounts inline with the general consensus.

    But then I only have to view the MGS comments section to give up caring what the vast majority of people on here think.

  • wizbob #71 2 years ago

    I'm not trying to be sexist I just think the review should have been done by someone else.

    Yes, you've made that clear. You think it should have been written by a man.

  • dither #72 2 years ago

    You've probably not even played it, Gary Hardman.

  • abot #73 2 years ago

    So far a 76 on metacritic

  • laharl80 #74 2 years ago

    Good review.I think i'll stick with god of war.Maybe Macbeth of war will be better.

  • RESIDENT_nEVILe #75 2 years ago

    I think that this game needs to reviewed by a 30 year old man who lives with his mum. Only way to be fair.

  • Dizzy #76 2 years ago

    Ellie reviewing this = Doomed to a Hellish score.

    Funny to read BTW. Good job! ;)

    After the brilliant Bayonetta I expect a lot of hack-and-slash games to struggle with good scores.
    Edited by 2 at 03/02/10 @ 20:25

  • Mark1412 #77 2 years ago

    "It's like getting a man to review Little Big Planet."

    Dude shhhh, six foot is the standard depth, there's no need for further digging.

  • ChthonicEcho #78 2 years ago

    As someone who was quick to mock this game and completely ridiculed the idea during the live interview with the developer... I am genuinely surprised it received such a score. Sure, it might rape Divine Comedy, I thought, but it might be a fun game in its own right.

    Strange.

  • Vyggo #79 2 years ago

    @easychord
    Guess I'll give Conan a try then. Never heard of it.

    I in no way have a real opinion about this game, I have never played it. I just find reviews that use the tired and overdone cliche are really short-sighted. I realise it's just an opinion, but a reviewer should really try to see past the "I personally have played all the games in this genre and I don't want another one" because this not a reality for 99% of the readers of a review.

    Especially so in this case where on the xbox 360 there are very few games of this kind. I guess you could call Darksiders one in the same genre, depending on how broad you define this genre, as it has some very different influences as well.

  • miiiguel #80 2 years ago

    e fact is the only review on the internet that is bad was written by a woman. This game is simply a game that appeals to men. HURRAH!!!


    Fixed that for you.

  • Dizzy #81 2 years ago

    >Especially so in this case where on the xbox 360 there are very few games of this kind.

    What?

    You have Darksiders and Bayonetta just the last few weeks. Bayonetta probably being the best of the genre this gen.

    Then you have Ninja Gaiden, that Viking game and Conan. Both also better than 6 ;)
    Edited by 1 at 03/02/10 @ 20:36

  • Trafford #82 2 years ago

    HacknSlash+EG6/10+Tits+Historical escapism=My kind of game.
    (when the right price comes along of course)

  • Darren #83 2 years ago

    That score seems about right from the demo I played. There's nothing really wrong with it, it just feels like a game I've played ten million times before. Released between Mass Effect 2 and BioShock 2, it never really stood any chance of getting my money really.

  • PotajiTo #84 2 years ago

    Even if it's a copy of the GoW series, I'm really enjoying the game, probably more than Bayonetta. I think the game deserves at least a 7. The review and the score remembers me the wolverine one, a game that I really liked but EG not.

  • Dizzy #85 2 years ago

    Oh Svspam.... did Ellie touch your macho nerve? Do you NEED Heavy Rain to be a 10/10? Will you have a bigger **** if it does?

  • PrivateJoker #86 2 years ago

    I don't give a fuck about this game or how many negative points I get but Ellie should not be reviewing games like this. Call me a chauvanist cunt but gamers are still predominantly male and this is very much a male orientated game.

  • Markitron #87 2 years ago

    Love the first paragraph, Widely read people are cunts

  • easychord #88 2 years ago

    @Vyggo; I think you are just wrong if you think that 360 owners don't have much choice when it comes to beat 'em ups. This isn't even the first feature for feature copy of God of War on the system. You are right in saying that an unremarkable "genre" game can be a great experience for some, especially if it is well executed and their first experience. Other people want to know how it stacks up to other games. Maybe someone will enjoy this game then read the Eurogamer review and find out that there other games in the same genre that they can play next that they might enjoy more.

  • mkreku #89 2 years ago

    I don't get it. Why would Ellie's opinion of the game be of any less value because she's female? It would be one thing to make that argument if the review wasn't clear about what's good and what's bad in the game.. but the review is well written, it reads like a 6/10 and Ellie clearly points out why she thinks it deserves such a score. So what's all the fuss about?

  • Goodfella #90 2 years ago

    It didn't fare much better at IGN UK.

    http://uk .xbox360.ign.com/articles/106/1...

  • BrotherHorus #91 2 years ago

    no it didnt, much the same minus the breasts

  • Les #92 2 years ago

    Did anyone that read Dante expect this to be any good? The whole concept is so completely at odds with the poem I suspect they only used it as a pretext to be able to use the name Dante in order to lure in the DMC crowd...

  • Gunzberg #93 2 years ago

    First page: poor
    Second page: mediocre
    Third page: This one is up to published standard

    Second time a review has been so poorly written with ridiculous comparisons that I nearly stopped reading. Second time it's an Ellie review. Time to see what other websites think.

  • j-bo #94 2 years ago

    It's really pathetic that all the guys on here are so bloody insecure that they feel the need to call a reviewers gender out, because she makes a valid point.

    There are times when I think gaming as a medium and a social activity are really getting somewhere, then there are times when I think, nope it's still just a load of socially retarded teenage boys acting out their slightly embarrassing fantasies.

  • Gnort #95 2 years ago

    Ellie's reviews are great for games you want to dislike, but I don't put a lot of stock in them for anything I'm actually interested in. Her taste in games is just too different from mine. I didn''t think Dante's Inferno would be a great game, in fact after playing the demo I was put off by how shameless a God of War clone it came across as, but Ellie has even said she doesn't like "standard" videogames and tends to attack anything that doesn't appeal to her. It's what makes her writing funny, but also not particularly useful if you do happen to enjoy conventional videogames.

    I'm not knocking her for it, I'm... okay, I am knocking her for it, but if she's allowed to be subjective, so am I.

  • BrotherHorus #96 2 years ago

    I dont think they would ever hope to lure the DMC crowd, thats ridiculous. They probably used the name Dante cos that was the dudes name and hell is a bottomless basket of goodies for making an exceptionally violent game.

  • wizbob #97 2 years ago

    This woman would not buy this game to enjoy. It's like they gave it to her to scathe at because of the nuduty and stuff.

    This isn't about men being better than women.

    This is like getting a Jew to do a book review of The Bible.

    Any opinion of black or muslim reviewers that you'd like to share?

  • Gnort #98 2 years ago

    Despite my previous post, I don't really see what people are getting so upset about. It's an Ellie Gibson review, take it as such and let Metacritic sort it out. It's not like the official Eurogamer score for a game affects you as a player.

  • bad09 #99 2 years ago

    Some of these comment are just divine comedy. I've always thought hack 'n slash was a childish genre and aimed at the younger gamer. Judging from many of these comments I'm right.....

  • wizbob #100 2 years ago

    GARY HARDIMAN... I sentence you to... THE TENTH CIRCLE OF HELL.

    Where you will be available as a bare-moobed demon in forthcoming DLC.

  • Postumo #101 2 years ago

    Computer Generated Tits!!!! SOLD!!!!

    No.

  • Gunzberg #102 2 years ago

    The CVG review really is much better - more detail, reads better and interesting. Most likely they actually HAVE an editor...

  • Vyggo #103 2 years ago

    >>You have Darksiders and Bayonetta just the last few weeks. Bayonetta probably being the best of the genre this gen.
    >>Then you have Ninja Gaiden, that Viking game and Conan. Both also better than 6 ;)

    Like I said, you could argue that Darksiders is in the same genre. Bayonette is (even) more of a stretch. I don't know anything about Viking or conan games so you could be right about that.

    My point is not that being the only one in a genre is a good reason to give a game a better score. If there is better there is better. My point is that saying this genre is tired and overdone is not a solid argument. On one hand because many people don't play so many games that they will feel the same. Second because (at least on the xbox360), there are not many of these type of games so it's not like non-playstation owners have that many games of this genre to play even if they want it.

    Again, if it's an average game it's an average game and it shouldn't get higher scores because there are not many games like it on the system.

    I'll shut up about it now.
    Edited by 1 at 03/02/10 @ 21:34

  • Peew971 #104 2 years ago

    What's the score if you only have a 360 and can't play God of War?

  • TRUTH #105 2 years ago

    All reviews seem to slag it simply because Danteo follows other formulas (GoW)...Yet Bioshock 2 is simply Bioshock 1 with a different story and NO one rating that lower (few ratings in) - though it' almost the same game as with GoW 1 & 2 and 3 seems very similar too.

    By the GoW didn't innovate anything - just been playing GoW Collection and seems much more as a no brainer action game, with the odd puzzle.

    Edited by 2 at 03/02/10 @ 22:25

  • makeamazing #106 2 years ago

    There is a question which is should reviewers only review game genres they are going to like..and in some cases i think some reviews might suffer from that... the other issue is, how the hell is a review site going to have enough people to ensure they have someone who likes a particular genre... this is why you should always take one review with a pinch of salt and look at others to see if there is a concensus. Even a high scoring game can be rubbish and you might not like it (MW2 I'm looking at you)...

    so do some research, play the demo, look at the press clippings, rather than putting your game buying decisions into one website reviews hands... :D

  • feistycheese #107 2 years ago

    Seems to be a lot of unfair negativity here towards the reviewer.

    Personally I dont care if a games got tits in it or not, if I want to see a pair of massive majungers ill go buy Lolo Ferrari's bouncy time on DVD.

    Thanks for the review Ellie, I dont need another cloned hack n' slash right now as Ive just finished GOW Collection, so this will save me some time and money.

  • TRUTH #108 2 years ago

    True I MW2 was waaay over hyped and just fps with set pieces - nothing more. Also Eurgamer slagged Darksiders for coping other formulas, but I really enjoyed this game much more then Zelda.

  • Gunzberg #109 2 years ago

    German Eurogamer gave it an 8

  • SimonM7 #110 2 years ago

    I don't think anyone really objects to the score or the reviewer per se. Ellie's opinion is clearly stated, and her arguments are there to.. argue with if you want. Discrediting the review outright is pointless.

    It's more about a site's standing with people and how much it'll actually dictate what people *think* about a game. This review's score will be taken to mean that it's "shite", and that's what you'll have people within the community - that haven't even played the game - reciting. Oh and also, how EG was brave and independent and spoke the truth. You could say the same about Destructoid giving Assassin's Creed 2 a 4.5, and now they handed Dante's Inferno a 9.0.

    That's the annoyance I think, and what propels people to get so defensive about it.

  • RedSparrows #111 2 years ago

    I thought the review was fine. It certainly did talk about what was good and bad, and the whole tits thing was used as an example and extrapolated.

    The demo bored me, and this review confirms suspicions. I am happy to trust it. If you're not, more power to you.

    But really, guys? Chill.

    THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID CHILL.

  • Lunatic4ever #112 2 years ago

    i never understood the hype about bayonetta,played that game for a few hours and no...its still shit.
    prefer this one over bayonetta,mos def!

  • Hindle #113 2 years ago

    This will be a good game for people who dont own a Ps3 but most Ps3 owners will choose GOW 3 over this. I can see it bombing though.

  • AphoticCosmos #114 2 years ago

    Come on people - between Mass Effect 2, MAG and Dante's Inferno, there is one clear choice of what not to buy.

    Do yourselves a favour and get a good game.

  • Monkey_Puncher #115 2 years ago

    Ellie is reviewing proper games now?

    Interesting, disappointing score though :(

    I'll grab it when it's on sale, if only for the visuals.

  • Charlie_Miso #116 2 years ago

    Hehe.

    This is just like when a Wii game is given a poor score and the whingers all complain that it's not 'written with tthe audience in mind'.

    Get over yourselves.

  • Genome #117 2 years ago

    "You can't employ many of the most popular action-adventure staples such as guns, cars, aliens, Nazis, wisecracking sidekicks and love interests with buttocks like two basketballs in a pillowcase."

    With golden lines like this in the text... This may be the greatest videogame review ever written. Ellie, I salute you for keeping the proud traditions of how a game review is supposed to be done alive.

  • brigadier #118 2 years ago

    Some of these comments are pure comedy gold. But the amount of idiots is worrying.

    It got a 6/10, get over it.

  • Hindle #119 2 years ago

    Between this and Dantes Inferno youre best of just buying Gow 3

  • AJGB #120 2 years ago

    Bravo, Ellie, for being so restrained. I would've given it a 1 for what it did to the concept alone. It's the dumbest thing in the history of dumb. I wouldn't be surprised if Visceral was the secret brainchild of Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer. And Sarah Palin had a few blood-soaked fingers in the design somehow.

    It's madness that this thing was ever approved and will now be bought by human beings. It's as if the lowest common denominator's pet rock has suddenly become the new go-to demographic for videogames publishers.

    Dante Alighieri was insane, but I think even he would've said, "Woah, broze, let's calm down a bit and think about this."
    Edited by 1 at 03/02/10 @ 22:35

  • Ryze #121 2 years ago

    Right - so where's the gameplay video of the blue FREAK, then?

  • coomber #122 2 years ago

    Good to see Ellie back to her best. Cracking read, even though I couldn't care less about the game!

  • Dizzy #123 2 years ago

    >What's the score if you only have a 360 and can't play God of War?

    5

  • MMJoe #124 2 years ago

    Great review! Tbh this has always looked pretty shit and demo was a total chore. I imagine a lot of the peeps on here sticking up for the tits overload have never actually seen or touched a real pair.

  • LetsGo #125 2 years ago

    With Ellie being a lady, did it get marked down for having too much tits and not enough torso?

  • adzengland #126 2 years ago

    Eurogamer reviewer EPIC FAIL. For the visuals and work gone into this game, this should be edging the 8 mark, even based on the demo.

    The game is a self confessed hack and slash, taking it back to true platforming madness. Streets of Rage stylee. Hands up online co-op? Hell to the yes.

  • feistycheese #127 2 years ago

    adzengland

    'Hands up online co-op? Hell to the yes. '

    --------------------------

    Erm, your the only one with your hand raised?

  • Praetorianer #128 2 years ago

    Hm...you've been a lot more forgiving in your reviews of games like Ratchet & Clank: ACIT, WET, Tomb Raider: Underworld, to mention only a few. In all those titles you've critized mainly the same flaws (derivative, uninspired, few innovative aspects, repetitive), yet they scored better in the end. Would you really score the game as a 4/10, if it wouldn't appeal to "hardcore" slasher fans?! Way too harsh...maybe you just got up on the wrong side on that day.
    Edited by 1 at 03/02/10 @ 23:35

  • GamesConnoisseur #129 2 years ago

    Not all gamers owns PS3/2 and review read more like it's for PS gamers. Fair comments re X360 owners may consider this in absence of strong competition. God of War I have played and will be getting the next one, would have considered getting this but now feels more like a rent, if I can pull myself away from Shepard and his space opera antics.

    Dante attracted me only cos of the premise and idea of seeing another interpretation of hell, hack and slash can be fun if well implemented and interesting enough. Conan and Viking were passable but got bored too quickly.

  • Nillsens #130 2 years ago

    Downloaded the demo the same evening as the Bayonetta one. Next to Bayonetta, it failed to impress.

    It was clear to me in the first 10 seconds that this was heading to the 6-7 regions of review scores.

  • Wabe #131 2 years ago

    Gearskin 2010-02-03 18:12:02
    Only girls and gays don't like boobies.
    I hope the postie delivers mine tomorrow.

    What did you order, a girl or a gay?

  • Triggerhappytel #132 2 years ago

    I love the way that certain people are saying it should have been reviewed by a man as he wouldn't have found the excessive tits so distasteful... I think, by and large, the only people not irked by such peurile inclusions are teenage boys who probably aren't old enough to legally buy this game anyway.

    Also, this just in: reviews are subjective. Well fuck-a-doodle-do! If you really dislike Eurogamer so much I suggest you do one and don't bother coming back.
    Edited by 1 at 04/02/10 @ 00:01

  • dylman #133 2 years ago

    Another well written, and entertaining read, as usual from Ellie.
    This comments thread on the other hand, well it seems clear that misogynistic teenage boys combined with platform fanboyism is a particularly toxic mixture. Who'd have thought?

  • Oh-Bollox #134 2 years ago

    "For the visuals and work gone into this game, this should be edging the 8 mark"

    It should get an 8 because of the graphics and because EA has crunch time all the time?

    Bollocks. It's a shit game, based on a poem no-one at EA has read.

  • City Sickness #135 2 years ago

    "People with tits not qualified to assess games featuring tits" seems to be the disturbing consensus here.

    Great review.

  • neonxaos #136 2 years ago

    Bayonetta does T&A way better (if a little freakishly), but it works as a plus in the game design. Dante is... well, I don't think the game should ever have existed in the first place, and much less in such a very traditional videogame fashion. It could never do the source material any justice this way. And yes, I have actually read The Divine Comedy :) Look at me on my literary high horse.

    A Heavy Rain-like adventure instead, now that could have been something. But for now, please don't buy this game so the same team also makes Macbeth into a game *shudders*. Don't mention the Scottish play... as a videogame! This is the kind of thing that gives the whole business such a bad rep.

    Anyway, fantastic read, Ellie. Always a laugh, and this review told me all I need to know.
    Edited by 1 at 04/02/10 @ 07:36

  • Dgzter #137 2 years ago

    Yes, of course, anyone claiming to have actually read the original medieval text is either an elitist cunt or a lying douche! It's amazing the amount of scholarship produced on Dante's epic, given only twenty-seven people have ever read his poem.

    Also, good work on inviting a fucking banal, high-school, Freudian interpretation of the art design.

  • Vyggo #138 2 years ago

    >>"My point is not that being the only one in a genre is a good reason to give a game a better score."

    >>"Again, if it's an average game it's an average game and it shouldn't get higher scores because there are not many games like it on the system."

    >>Contradiction?

    Nope, read it again (check the NOT in the first sentance). I could have formulated it better though.

  • bad09 #139 2 years ago

    "...please don't buy this game so the same also makes Macbeth into a game *shudders*. Don't mention the Scottish play... as a videogame!...."

    Aahhhhh. Hot potato, off his drawers, Puck will make amends.

    / pinches nose

    Aahhhhh.

  • makariel #140 2 years ago

    lol tits and angry kids
    some posts here read like the textbook definition for "chauvinistic" and "immature"

    ...another game that mistakes "maturity" with "showing tits and blood", but I guess that was to be expected from a god of war clone based on Dante's Inferno. I wonder when they make a GOW-clone based on breakfast at tiffanys?

    Awesome review Ellie, hope you'll review GOW3! :D

  • darkmorgado #141 2 years ago

    This was on my pre-order list, having read some previews that said the atmosphere was good and that they had integrated a lot of the imagery from the original poem well.
    After reading this review and the IGN reviews, I've cancelled my preorder.
    Looking forward to the inevitable EDGE 5/10

  • wonton #142 2 years ago

    "A six isn't shit"

    You're right but I think all the score inflation with all the 7's and 8' has meant that its easy to lose perspective.

    I gonna be a long a painful process to reign in scores and make 5 = average.

  • Bravestinsane #143 2 years ago

    Some people on this are really childish, and the sexism towards Elli is off the chart.

    Seriously people grow the hell up,

    I have played games that have had the shitest review possible yet i have still played them because i enjoy them.

    If you like the game go play it stop ranting about it, perhaps you could debate it and put across your opinion maturely although that doesn't seem possible.

    Just because the review doesn't agree with your opinion doesn't make it wrong, hell i thought Halo ODST was a complete rip off bearing in mind i had bought the map packs. That still got an 8 or 9 or whatever it was, i don't agree with that score, but its not like it caught me with my hands down my trousers jacking off and completely killed my erection now is it not the end of the fucking world seriously people need to grow the fuck up on this forum. If any of you are posting this shit and are under 18 shut the hell up your going to be washing up for a week just so you can get your mum to buy it for you, and then complain that someone who is actually old enough to buy the game has got it wrong.

    Fucking kids, should be a law to punch them in the face everytime they talk shit.

  • SimonM7 #144 2 years ago

    @wonton

    Yeah, I think the reason EDGE works is that their scoring seems consistent. I still value the opinions at EG, but there seems to be a bit of a divide between different reviewers and their attitude towards the scoring system.

    To everyone his own of course, that goes without saying (though judging by how voted down my comment was earlier, reiterating the point can't hurt, hehe) but Fable 2 recieving a 10 doesn't seem logical. There's a little bit of the sense - in my opinion - that EG's scores are more symbolic than anything. Maybe that's how it's supposed to be, but when it's used merely to drive a point across and not as a measurement, as a system it pretty much falls apart. It fluctuates up and down with no discernable internal logic.

    It would be nice to get some handle on whether people find Eurogamer's scores to be helpful when purchasing games. It's one thing to find solace in the "one review that thinks this here game is as rubbish as you already do" and another to stave off heartbreak.
    Edited by 1 at 04/02/10 @ 04:17

  • NBAoz #145 2 years ago

    I think what this site needs for most reviews is a second opinion from someone else at Eurogamer giving a brief summary of their thoughts on the game and a score. Then you wouldn't get so many people bashing the reviewer, accusing them of being biased and/or thinking the review should have been done by someone else. It seems to work pretty well for other video game review sites and mags.

  • NBAoz #146 2 years ago

    I have played this and so far it is an 8 out of 10 for me. I think it is great. Most people who love God of War would like this as well I reckon. IMO It is not quite as good as God of War, but still, it is probably the best alternative if you are looking for the closest thing to God of War on the XBOX 360. It is better than Conan which I thought was quite average but still a fun romp.
    Edited by 1 at 05/02/10 @ 01:41

  • man.the.king #147 2 years ago

    @Gary_Hardman

    "The fact is the only review on the internet that is bad was written by a woman. "

    Nope. There are other bad-to-middling reviews for this game. The reviews that I think sheds most light on why this might not rate well compared to GOW 1 & 2 is this one at 1UP and this one at IGN UK.

    Pity, really. Before this review, I had been looking forward to renting this at my local Blockbuster's when it came out [can't afford to buy games right now :( ]. I'll still rent it, but my expectations have been lowered now.
    Edited by 5 at 04/02/10 @ 06:55

  • muscleblade #148 2 years ago

    Anthony Daniels wrote:"so many 360 fans upset by this review, there's only one god of war im afraid "

    LOL. Bayonetta (360 version) is the best game of this kind ever made. I doubt GOW3 will change that.

  • j-bo #149 2 years ago

    Yup, Bayonetta, that well known classical mythological romp...

    or chicken angels in butt spanking uber camp pantomime.

    don't get me wrong, I love bayonetta, but for serious, high mythology it works in completely different ways to GoW. GoW is epic, Bayonetta is campy OTT fun.

  • rodpad #150 2 years ago

    Definitely Binferno I thought from the demo.

  • DiamondIce #151 2 years ago

    I am female and I enjoyed the demo and will be buying this game.

    I always wondered why I never cast a shadow.

  • menage #152 2 years ago

    I played this yesterday, and while def. better than just a 6 it does feel quite dated.

  • Quint2020 #153 2 years ago

    Just buy Conan instead it's a better God of War rip off with an infinitely more likeable character and Ron Perlman...... and Claudia Black! Plus you can probably pick it up for a fiver.

  • thedaveeyres #154 2 years ago

    Tits or GTFO.

    Fantastic review.

  • frunk #155 2 years ago

    Looking at Metacritic the overall feeling about this game is identical.

    So to be fair on Ellie her view (tits or no) is in line with the rest of the press...

    "Solid game but unoriginal and not really as good as its inspiration... but if you don't have a PS3 its probably worth picking up."

    The final score 6/10 is just a damn number... and is not the worst out there. Edge it up a point or so if you can't play GoW 1-3 as you are likely to be less disappointed.

    Reviews are there to give you a feeling whether you will like the game or now - not to tell you to buy it or not... unless you are REALLY DUMB!

  • RedPanda #156 2 years ago

    Post deleted at 14:31:59 28-01-2012

  • telboy007 #157 2 years ago

    The first paragraph on the second page is some of the funniest stuff I've read in some time. Well done. :)

  • PlugMonkey #158 2 years ago

    Isn't GoW similar to Ninja Gaiden (though more skill is required in NG) ?

    @ TRUTH: Yes, GoW is similar to Ninja Gaiden. But DI isn't similar to GoW, it's identical. Right down to having to hammer a button to open the chests of health and magic. The skills tree isn't just "ninetiestastic", it contains virtually the same moves as GoW in the same positions. GoW II differed more from GoW than this does. If you have played GoW, there is very little to be gained from playing this game. If you haven't played GoW, then play that instead!

    It's interesting. If GoW is worth a 9/10 and DI is identical, should that make it a 9 too? Maybe it depends on whether you own a Sony console to play the original. I was bored shitless by the end of the DI demo as I just felt like I'd played it before. It was like doing a 2nd playthrough of GoW. In my opinion, you've got to mark stuff down if that's the impression that it gives, whether the reader has played GoW or not. From the demo at least, this is the most derivative and unimaginative game I have ever played.

    "No mention of the different themes used in the 9 circles of Hell? ... I haven't played the game"

    @ Teh9182: Maybe it just doesn't come across? In fact, I believe Ellie mentioned it all looking very samey. Bearing in mind you haven't played the game, I'm inclined to go with the opinion of someone who has...

    @ Ellie: Page 2, paragraph 6 there's a typo your spellchecker will have missed where you wrote 'mind' instead of 'might'.

  • IronGiant #159 2 years ago

    An average game as was blatantly obvious from the demo, a 6 is about right.. All this add a point or two if you haven't played GOW is pathetic as are all those who have already formed some kind of emotional attachment to a game before it's even been released! The IGN uk review is a good read and points out the games problems as well as it's one redeeming feature, the combat. Dull design, no sense of scale, hemmed in environments, bad camera, poky corridors, boring enemies etc. If that sounds appealing then I suggest waiting a month or so as this will be heavily discounted fairly soon. I will get it just to give it a go as a warm up for GOW3 but only when it's 18 quid at zavvi :)

  • BurningR #160 2 years ago

    Nice review, one of the funniest I've read here in a while - and that's saying something!

  • dingo75 #161 2 years ago

    Kudos to EG for letting a woman review this testosterone-filled dream for 14 year old male virgins!

    I don't care much about review scores in general.
    Currently I play the 5/10 EDGE rated "The Saboteur" and I have tons of fun with it.

    Over at 4players.de (a German videogames review site) they had over 2000 comments (usually they get around 100 per review) because they rated Mass Effect 2 82/100 "only". There was so much hate going on that the chief editor wrote a column scorning all those fanboys that feel their day is ruined if someone is not of their opion and makes them unable to enjoy their game.

    Lighten up people it's a goddamn hobby not something worth a jihad!

    Planning to pick up the game for the "tits" when it hit bargain bins for a laugh.

    Looking forward to read more Ellie reviews in the future + the live feeds of Sony press conferences! :)

  • Zebula77 #162 2 years ago

    "Dante's Inferno is worth considering if you're a diehard hack-and-slasher fan who loves blood, gore, fire, brimstone, layered but simplistic combat systems and tits."

    SOLD!

    Seriously tho, I still do wanna play this game. Maybe I'll trade it or wait till the price drops. Currently playing the rather excellent Darksiders, and this looks like an inferior game to that.

    Those Hellish levels look inviting tho.

  • RobotRocker #163 2 years ago

    So instead of the Sony defence force, we have the Titty defence force? OK then...

  • Triggerhappytel #164 2 years ago

    darkmorgado - "Looking forward to the inevitable EDGE 5/10"

    Edge will fucking hate this game. They're not the biggest fans of GoW anyway, so a poorer carbon copy which mistakes nudity and gore for maturity will totally rub them the wrong way. I wouldn't be surprised to see it get a 3 or a 4.


    Bravestinsane - "Fucking kids, should be a law to punch them in the face everytime they talk shit."

    You are a legend!

  • Skorms-Boss #165 2 years ago

    As on of the 27 people to have read the Divine Comedy (a gay romp through inferno, purgatorio and paradise!) I was never going to approve of this game. During the games development, every screen shot, every interview with the developers, made me weep for Dante's classic vision of man journey through darkness into light. Understandably I will not be buying or playing this game in any form.

    "O how my speech falls short, how faint it is
    For my conception! And for what I saw
    It is not enough to say that I say little"
    Paradiso XXXIII 121

    Translation
    Game developers hire some one to write a bloody story for your new game instead of butchering a classic!

  • sneetch #166 2 years ago

    Hmmm... it was fairly well received elsewhere... I think people already know whether or not they'll like this. Either way, I still have Bayonetta to complete.

    http://ww w.metacritic.com/search/process...

  • DiamondIce #167 2 years ago

    This game, in terms of the love/hate aspect, reminds me of Too Human. I liked that game and bought it even though it was universally slated in the gaming press.

    Perhaps I am destined to visit hell?

  • mfnick #168 2 years ago

    Well, I really enjoyed the demo (especially slicing Death in half, that was awesome. & yes im immature, but I dont care) & the imagery in this looks really imaginitive & brilliant.

    Ive also been waiting for a game to shamelessly rip off GoW but in a different mythology & im sure as hell not sick of hack & slashers yet. I'll be getting both this & GoW3 & im sure i'll love them both.

    Plus, I still dont understand whats wrong with a bit of gratuitus T&A every so often? Its in every over entertainment medium - whys it so wrong when its in ours? Especially in this setting & the Lust circle.

    Still, if Ellie didnt like it fair enough. Thats her opinion. Im sure im going to love it. Probably for same reasons she didnt lol.

    Got mine pre-ordered & cant wait :) With Bioshock 2, Heavy Rain & Aliens Vs Predator this month, Bayonetta & Darksiders last month & Uncharted 2 & Modern Warfare 2 not long before that. Not to mention whats coming out over the nect couple of months. It sure is a great time to be a gamer.
    Edited by 1 at 04/02/10 @ 10:46

  • kinky_mong #169 2 years ago

    Hilariously at this current moment on the front page it's the review for Fatal Frame that has a picture of blue tits rather than the Dante's Inferno picture.

  • asphaltcowboy #170 2 years ago

    Seems like a pretty harsh review...

    "The problem is you can't really take it all in due to the game's fixed camera. It works well enough from a practical point of view - the angles switch seamlessly and you're never left fighting enemies you can't see. But you can't use the right stick to look around, no matter how spectacular the scene. This is frustrating and makes the game feel dated, particularly if you're used to having such freedoms in games like Uncharted and Assassin's Creed."

    Will be interesting to see if this and other "flaws" are picked up in in the GoW3 review...

  • Zephro #171 2 years ago

    Wow this thread is scary. The level of juvenile sexism being casually thrown around is just appalling. I feel really ashamed to be considered a "gamer" as a social distinction due to these out bursts. Some of these comments are just down right stupid, saying Ellie doesn't like real men's games etc. It's right there in the review that she has played God of War and described it as "great".

    The fact of the matter is "tits" don't make anything a man's game. It makes it a boy's game. There is a massive distinction and I'm rather offended as a man. This is pretty much the exact reason gamers are seen with such disdain by others.

    Also I'm on the list of the 27 people who have read the original.

  • obscured021 #172 2 years ago

    whats wrong with tits in a game or beating a hooker to get your money back? I like the demo and will pick this up but later when it hits the second hand section

  • chrisola #173 2 years ago

    isn't GoW a 3rd person shooter???

  • laudy #174 2 years ago

    @ chrisola

    that actually made me laugh out loud!

    nice one

  • jonfon #175 2 years ago

    "Hilariously at this current moment on the front page it's the review for Fatal Frame that has a picture of blue tits rather than the Dante's Inferno picture."
    Damn you James Cameron. See what you did? They're everywhere now!

    Great review Ellie, loved the 9 Circles of Hell Ikea reference.

  • muscleblade #176 2 years ago

    "Yet Bioshock 2 is simply Bioshock 1 with a different story and NO one rating that lower"

    Lets wait for the nonexclusive reviews shall we. It wont stay in the 90s for long on metacritic. BS2 is a very good game but its no AC2 or ME2 when it comes to improvements over the original. The hacking is actually worse now. The multiplayer is pretty good though.

  • chudders #177 2 years ago

    I look at some of the comments in this thread and I weep for my hobby. I feel embarassed frankly, whether it's serious or meant to be a 'joke'.

    I suppose I should thank some of you at least for verifying that I am not nearly as much of a prick as I thought I was.
    Edited by 1 at 04/02/10 @ 13:42

  • Blackthorned #178 2 years ago

    God save us all from 'your opinion is wrong' bickering.

  • darkmorgado #179 2 years ago

    I feel really sorry for Ellie, I really do. She can't win either way. Whenever she reviews a casual game and gives it a good score she gets slated for not being "hardcore" enough. Whenever she reviews a hardcore game and gives it an average score, she gets slated with sexist bollocks that she should stop playing "men's" games.

    The sexism displayed openly towards her by a large majority of her critics is shocking. I thought in the 21st century we had gone beyond such discrimination?

    Oh hang on, this is a group where the word Gay is freely used as an insult. Maybe not then

  • thedaveeyres #180 2 years ago

    "The sexism displayed openly towards her by a large majority of her critics is shocking. I thought in the 21st century we had gone beyond such discrimination?"

    It's not really sexism, it's immaturity. They'll change their opinions when (and if) they eventually get laid.

  • varsas #181 2 years ago

    Great review Ellie. All the issues I saw in the demo seem to have remained. Waiting for GoW III :)

  • darc #182 2 years ago

    Great review, puts across exactly what I got from the demo. It really does look and feel like a game at odds with itself. Which is a shame because some of the production values are quite excellent.

  • tossum #183 2 years ago

    Not wanting to sound like one of the "good review Ellie" brigade- but good review Ellie!!
    Never bothered to offer my opinion on this sort of thing before, but this reviewer is receiving unnecessary stick for this review. Could'nt give two shits for the game mind, tits or no tits, but it seemed a fair review, quite amusing too. More "hummus" please.

  • JonFE #184 2 years ago

    Abandon hope all ye who enter here...

    It has been stated before that there's no point in arguing about this (or any, for that matter) review, as it's only the subjective opinion of the reviewer. There's a demo out there to see for yourself if it floats your boat. If you disagree with this score or cannot wait getting your hands on a new hack 'n' slash game or are just envy about GoW3 being PS3-only, just vote with your wallets, buy the game and enjoy it (or not :), despite what Ellie or anyone else says. Is it really that hard to comprehend?

  • RobotRocker #185 2 years ago

    Well its either that or the majority of "I hate this review, Ellie Go back to reviewing casual games" is one of EA's wacky marketing stunts for this game. Sin of Wrath or whatever.

    Or I just wish that it was a wacky marketing stunt.

  • Blackloch #186 2 years ago

    Great read!

  • youhavenomail #187 2 years ago

    This comments section is a divine comedy. What I've learnt from it is that if you're going to rate a game with boobs in it 6/10, make sure you have a penis to validate your judgement.

    As for Edge's forthcoming review, if 95% of it isn't taken up by the reviewer showing off his deep understanding of the 'source material', with the remaining 5% ridiculing the game as an adaptation rather than weighing up its values as a hack & slasher, then I'm going to cancel my subscription.

  • SpaceMonkey77 #188 2 years ago

    I don't agree with Ellie's review. She should be judging DI on its own merits or lack of, but it all seems to boil down being similar to other games in the genre. Sorry Ellie, but that's not a vaild enough reason to not buy/play it (while your opinion is respected). And like someone else said, there's simply not enough information about the game you are reviewing, for me as a reader to judge it. You had three pages and wasted most of them, which is a real shame, as you writing style shows some hope for you.

    Most Fifa games are similar, as are most FPS games etc etc

    I will purchase Dante's Inferno, because I know that not every game has to be totally original, as much as we'd like, but the more important aspect is fun and enjoyment. I enjoyed the God of War games on my PS2 and PSP, so I'll check this out, thanks. It'll sit nicely next to Bayonetta and Darksiders, two games that also silenced a lot of early crap talk about them.

    There will be the die hard book lovers, who'll wave their righteousness, saying 'I told you so, don't buy this crap', but we all know their minds were decided from day one of DI conception. Get over yourselves.

    Overall, I'll wait for the Edge and Games TM reviews, becuase I know that they will dig into the guts of the game, and examine it better than EG. Either way, this game will sit in my collection.

    I like the second opinion idea, that could work well for reviews. I also think if your review structure gets too loose, then use paragraphs to focus on each of the games aspects, one after the other close up (eg Gameplay , graphics, sound, etc.

    Still the PSP version of Dante's Inferno to be reviewed yet, people. That should be interesting.

  • dudefella #189 2 years ago

    Ellie: Fantastic review, don't mind the haters. I enjoyed myself reading that (as I do most of your reviews) and I think your criticisms are spot-on.

    @SpaceMonkey: your arrogance is astounding. Who the fuck do you think you are telling Ellie how to review games? She gets paid for this, do you?
    Edited by 1 at 04/02/10 @ 17:15

  • Vyggo #190 2 years ago

    Some of these posters seem to believe that the majority of the comments here were from sexist pigs, but I only saw a few. I definately don't condone that sort of behaviour, but trying to apply this label to "gamers" in general is really, really silly.

  • Zephro #191 2 years ago

    No people are saying that we're depressed as fellow gamers that these are the sorts of labels we get stuck with because of their idiocy.

  • sfp_noodle #192 2 years ago

    i have to say tht pretty much the entire game engine was ripped from gow. at the same time tho, i was having quite a bit of fun playing the demo. isnt tht what games are about? having fun? im currently splattering my way thru gow coillection, but i will deffo get this when it hits the bargain bin. the low scores are being given for a general lack of any originality or innovation. its been done before, and better, so a score like 6/10 isnt tht bad. EG gave prince of persia 6/10 and i love tht game

  • TRUTH #193 2 years ago

    It seems a lot of review down grade this game because it's GoW clone or the Story is not up to scratch...They say it has some great moments, graphics, and fighting is worthy and FUN to play - but it's a clone and the story is not up to scratch; so mark it less - across the bored it's these main 2 that score this game lower; though the average Metric is a 8/10 (B) rated game. C & VG's scored it a 90/100 based on the game, not what other games have done!

    I think it's a bit unfair some of these reviewers marking it down, simply for these main two reasons.
    Edited by 1 at 04/02/10 @ 22:35

  • Badassbab #194 2 years ago

    How many times were the words tits mentioned in the review? Demo repetitive though nice to see a rock solid 60fps

  • Zephro #195 2 years ago

    "die hard book lovers"

    Good god, is this how far we've come? Literacy is really wasted on some people.

  • freakzilla #196 2 years ago

    Wow. I remember playing the demo, giving impresson and being called a fanboy. The truth is that this game sucks.

  • E_Goldstein #197 2 years ago

    This was a refreshingly honest review, might actually show the development world that a "tit's and ass" approach doesn't work as well as they think it does. Can't see this doing too well at retail.

    I thought it would get a 5 from the article though. (maybe because hack and slash appeals to me like an enema)

  • headrush #198 2 years ago

    I dont believe a word. I played the demo it was absolutely awesome. But the score fits perfectly into the EG rating system: Anything with "fresh" ideas, good ones or not, gets instant praise, especially experimental indie crap. And to prove EG is so independent from the industry despite the ads, from time to time a conservative blockbuster game has to get fucked. I am tired of it...

  • TheRankinator #199 2 years ago

    Went and bought the game yesterday, been having a blast :)

  • cock #200 2 years ago

    Review sounds perfectly reasonable to me. The demo was pretty bad: even in such a short space of time, I was already bored with the game and the nudity seemed rather random and out of place. I love a bit of gratuitous nudity but here it just felt like they were saying 'look at our edgy adult game'. Maybe I'm just old.

  • Goodfella #201 2 years ago

    The game arrived yesterday from Shopto and all I can say is I enjoyed virtually every minute I played of the 2 hours so far. Amusingly the games so called bad points in the review I have thought the complete opposite of, maybe it is a 'man game', lol. The one thing I would agree with though is that the animated cartoony cut scenes do look out of place and just a bit crap (like a 70's Hanna Barbera cartoon) and the voice work is average.

    Anyway, the epic views of the depths of hell accompanied by 'The Omen' type music are incredible at times, not forgetting the superb framerate which makes the combat far more enjoyably and responsive.
    Edited by 1 at 05/02/10 @ 09:28

  • DiamondIce #202 2 years ago

    I have really enjoyed the game so far (I am at the gluttony stage). The combat is fluid and I think the upgrade tree helps add something to it.

    The boss battles were good and in some instances felt really involving.

  • nottingham01 #203 2 years ago

    geting this today yaya

  • SuperNashwan #204 2 years ago

    "There will be the die hard book lovers, who'll wave their righteousness, saying 'I told you so, don't buy this crap', but we all know their minds were decided from day one of DI conception. Get over yourselves."

    Res Ipsa locator

  • Tangled #205 2 years ago

    @ frod_
    You forgot to mention these:

    Bayonetta reviewer: Simon
    Darksiders reviewer: Tom

  • muscleblade #206 2 years ago

    [link url=ht tp://xbox360.ign.com/articles/106/1064323p1.html
    ]http://xb ox360.ign.com/articles/106/1064...[/link]

    Her is the right link. Something went wrong. And yes it is almost 2000 comments on it.

  • TRUTH #207 2 years ago

    I'm playing this game right now (PS3) and it looks just as good as GoW III (demo played), feels fine, has atmosphere and does what an action hack and slash is meant to do - ENTERTAIN!

    People are slagging it because it's GoW clone (though many games are clones from Mario to Zelda to Fps and even GoW), or because it's not true to the original script - WHO CARES!
    Edited by 1 at 05/02/10 @ 12:23

  • Dyshamir #208 2 years ago

    The game may be just "OK", but I have to say that this is the worst review I've read in Eurogamer. Just my personal opinion.

    I don't know why should I get bashed in any way. I think Ellie sounds as if she just isn't into the atmosphere of this game and some of her critics just seem "forced", as some of the shock value she says the designers introduced in some parts of this game.

    For me it sounds more like me reviewing a FIFA when I hate sports games... but oh well, as I said it's just how I feel it.
    Edited by 1 at 05/02/10 @ 12:49

  • Drpwnage #209 2 years ago

    I just don't see what the gripes are, a quick check on Metacritic this morning shows this game currently has 11 (25 total) reviews with a Metacritic weighted score of 75 or below with similar comments. Purely on score, Ellie's review is not an outlier compared to other sites. If you like this genre go and read one of the higher scoring reviews to make yourself feel better and validate your purchase the rest of will stick with our 'Meh' response to the game and fire up Bayonetta or wait for GoW3.

    The misogyny in some of the posts is baffling and a rather 19th century outlook on equality.

  • crazyhorse174 #210 2 years ago

    Heres a question: Will GoW3 be marked down for copying Gow1 & 2?

    Just a thought...

  • xninjagrrl #211 2 years ago

    Interesting. I have noticed a trend here. Whenever there is game that gets positive reviews in America the Europeans seem to dislike the game (and whenever European reviewers score a game high the American reviewers rate that same game really low, due to cultural differences perhaps? Not sure but I for one think the Eurogamer reviewers are out of their minds most of the time). I must have played the Dante's Inferno demo 20 times and it never got old. I pre-ordered this game and cannot wait to play it multiple times. I am also a HUGE fan of the Divine Comedy, so yes, there are quite a few people who have actually read the entire poem, some of us took lit classes in college and AP in high school for college credit (I also don't care if the poem has been bastardized but I guess that just boils down to personal opinion)...

    I should note I have never played God of War as it was a PS exclusive and I can't stand the PS controllers.

    Perhaps just play the game for yourself, some of these reviewers have terrible taste IMHO

    ps Bayonetta is terrible, unless you love cheesy j-pop
    Edited by 3 at 05/02/10 @ 15:40

  • makariel #212 2 years ago

    @SpaceMonkey77: "Overall, I'll wait for the Edge and Games TM reviews, becuase I know that they will dig into the guts of the game, and examine it better than EG. Either way, this game will sit in my collection."

    Well, then I'm sure you're glad to hear that Edge gave Dante's Inferno a 6. Yes, that's exactly the same score Ellie gave. Looks like all the digging in guts of the game didn't reveal much more than Ellie found as well :)

  • Muppet64 #213 2 years ago

    Tried the demo, ordered the game, hated it. Repetitive and lousy controls when you're in larger battles. I agree with the review.

  • Tallon4 #214 2 years ago

    Don't believe the negative hype...Okay .....it's not GoW, but it's on par with Darksiders imo

  • WJF #215 2 years ago

    The main problem with the review is that it's a multi platform game that's heavily criticized for being too similar to a game that only appeared on one of the platforms

    I mean, it's all well and good that God of War was awesomely amazing, but considering you need a PS3/PS2 to play it and a lot of people interested in this game (most, I would say considering GOW3 is coming out for the other system) will be 360 users, it's a completely redundant criticism to have.

  • Kremlik Verified Co-Founder, Crash To Desktop #216 2 years ago

    I see her point, I've got the game tho, Ellie's been a little harsh on the game, yes it's a GoW clone same as anything that uses QTEs is instantly deemed to 'clone' GoW - HOWEVER DI is a good clone, it's a maybe for a ps3 owner but a MUST for the 360.

    DI is designed to be 'adult' as hell isn't pritty - in fact even the first circle is down right disturbing and it gets wrose as you go, much like Dead space got more and more tense as you progressed, it's a gem on the eyes, but I do agree if your waiting on GoW get that first come back to this later when the mutiplayer and editor content is ready as it stands it's only half the package atm..

    This game SHOULD be a 8/9 if GoW wasn't in the picture but it's the fact that GoW3 is close to release it's getting dragged down, like I said 360 owners game this game now PS3 ones hold off if you want to feel like it's value for money gameplay wise compeared to what's around the croner

  • casshern09 #217 2 years ago

    Personally Im having a load of fun with this game. I dont know what all the complaining is about. Yeah it is a rip off of GoW but who cares? Its done well. Boss fights are fun so far. Combat is great. Story is interesting. If they were gonna mark all games in this regard then nothing would get a good score. Darksiders should have got about 4/10 if this is the case being that ir ripped off GoW, Zelda and Portal. Bayonetta is just DMC in another skin and slightly different controls.
    Theres nothing wrong with DI at all. If you like this sort of game then give yourself a break and get it.

  • kaya08 #218 2 years ago

    Don't know why people are complaining about the review.
    The last line seems to sum up every single opinion in this thread

    "All the same, Dante's Inferno is worth considering if you're a diehard hack-and-slasher fan who loves blood, gore, fire, brimstone, layered but simplistic combat systems and tits. This is more than one big lava level and it's not a terrible game. It's just not an original one, and it's arrived a little too late."

    If you like hack and slash games and don't require originality, you'll enjoy it.

  • Geordiemp #219 2 years ago

    Muscleblade

    I am going to give you £ 200 to buy a Ps3 so I dont have to read your pathetic fanboy drivel on every keystroke. God its painful.

    Whats the latest, wabbling on about mass effect 2. Looks like a good game if you like RPG and converstaions. I skip all cut scenes, and traded in Oblivion after 2 hours god it was boring. Would need to play a good demo to ever venture into such a game again.

    Uncharted 2 has multiplayer survival and coop, so much better, as is ODST, COD WAW, crackdown.

    Choosing classes, playing around with menus, managing things, rather poke my eyes out. Unless there was coop, then that might make me suffer it.
    Edited by 1 at 06/02/10 @ 14:20

  • TRUTH #220 2 years ago

    Just seen the new Castlevania gameplay - and this does look Awesome!...Hope it doesn't get compared to GoW (though Bayonetta is the new king (queen) in fighting).

  • Caspar_Esq. #221 2 years ago

    Only review in years which actually made me lol. Ikea, Kanye's Inferno...LOL

  • FalseAlarm #222 2 years ago

    What a terribly written review.

    I wasn't really planning on getting this game in the first place but wow Eurogamer -- wow.

    Your reviews are increasingly starting to sound like personal blogs instead of material written for your viewers.

    Edited by 2 at 06/02/10 @ 20:27

  • darkmorgado #223 2 years ago

    Oh look, EDGE gave it a 6 as well. IGN gives it a bad review, so does IGN US, so does Eurogamer, so does EDGE, but somehow they are all wrong?

    I remember when it used to be ok to have a dissenting opinion.

  • Goodfella #224 2 years ago

    My opinion has changed after playing for about 4 hours. Sadly, while the first couple of hours is genuinely pretty awesome the game soon decends not just into hell but into repetative banality and frustration. I had to notch the difficulty down to the easiest at about 3 hours (those really irritating spinning enemies) as it was just too annoying to continue anymore with really cheap fights involving (what feels like) endless enemy spawning and really shit save point placement.

    Apparantly I'm not at the worst bit, which is the last third of the game. Damn, will have to get this on eBay quick to recoup some cash.

    Still, at least they focused primarily on getting a constant 60fps.

  • bloodflowers #225 2 years ago

    I'm really enjoying it, I've never played a GoW game, and not having a PS3 I'm unlikely to play the next one. I preordered it after playing the demo - really like the idea, and I really liked the character. The fact that it looks fantastic and keeps a solid 60fps doesn't hurt.

  • actionfitz #226 2 years ago

    "Freud would have not so much had a field day as a four-day music festival with six stages and sponsorship by O2."

    hehe. fantastic :D
    reviews like this are the reason I still read EG. :)
    +1 Ellie.

  • sjmlondon #227 2 years ago

    Great game. Completed it over the weekend with the full 1000 gamerpoints

    Have shoved it on UK Ebay if anyone wants to bid.

  • Fear_Itself #228 2 years ago

    The reviews for this game have really shaken whatever faith I had left in reviewers. This game is not even remotely worth a score as low as 6. It's not up to the standard set by God of War, but it's certainly a hell of a lot better than reviews such as this one make out.

  • Visnes #229 2 years ago

    @Fear_Itself I could not disagree with you more. The game itself is far to easy to warrant a higher score. The graphics are below average, with a huge plus on the pre-rendered movies which were amazing. The theme of the game is awesome, but does not make it a good game when the gameplay is what it is. When you get most of your points into the divine cross thing, and one point into where you can't be stopped when you first start using it; it is like having an "I win"-button attached to your controller.

    The game loses all of its gameplay early on for being to easy. Fun at times, but mostly frustrating due to the camera, lack of real combos, and predictive gameplay. The shock factor of the enemies, blood, gore, boobs and the like wears of extremely fast.

    6 is well deserved.
    Edited by 1 at 11/02/10 @ 10:33

  • itsfuzzy #230 2 years ago

    Seems like Ellie had boob envy reviewing this game.
    Droopy are they?

  • Jelly_Head #231 2 years ago

    @itsfuzzy

    Or maybe you had penis failure while reading her review?

    Droopy, is it?

    (or just fuzzy?)