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Bastard of the Old Republic Article

Retro PC Xbox Article by John Walker

22 March, 2009

Page 1 of 3. Page 2 ->

I need to tell you how I came to be standing on a strange oceanic planet, being asked by a complete stranger to murder people all around the galaxy. And why I had a smile on my face.

"Get over it," I told Mission, the 14-year-old Twi'lek who had joined my party. She was confiding in me about the horror of her home planet being utterly destroyed. The Sith had completely obliterated the population of Taris, countless millions had been slaughtered, and everything she had ever known or loved, beyond one Wookiee, was gone. Move on, whiny child.

Continuing my mission to play through BioWare's Knights of the Old Republic making only the most awful, spiteful and abhorrent choices available at every turn, letting a kid know her concerns over mass genocide were of no import whatsoever was now second nature. My character, Simon Evil, had an alignment deep in the red. A character screen, detailing your current levels and abilities, shows an image of your Jedi against a background that reflects their position within the Force. You begin with a white glow of neutrality, shifting toward either blue or red depending upon your actions and behaviour. Simon was already standing against a deep red after just one planet. He had already done some terrible, terrible things. Dismissing Mission's grief - whatever.

So far it had been remarkably difficult. My conscience, refusing to accept the, "But it's just a game, what you do doesn't matter" logic, had been screaming in horror at some of the imaginary actions and words I'd been using against these imaginary people. But so far I'd only been on one planet, and it was now time to unleash Simon on the rest.

'Bastard of the Old Republic' Screenshot 1

If you look carefully, you can see the evil veins of corruption around my now spookily yellow eyes, all surrounded by a freakishly wan skin.

After the destruction of Taris, Bastilla, the Jedi in the party, insisted that I travel to Dantooine, where a Council of Jedis wished to speak to me. Simon, it appears, is extremely strong in the Force, and during the continuing conflict with the Sith they're keen to train up whoever they can get.

Dantooine isn't just a Jedi training camp. It's home to many people to screw over in some pretty elaborate ways. But training comes first, and Simon was quick to pass the (rather silly) qualifying tasks. He becomes a Jedi "Guardian". With a display of stupidity comparable to handing out whiskey and guns in a prison, Simon Evil was given a lightsaber.

Actually, there's one detail that needs to be highlighted about the Jedi training. One of the tasks given to me was to investigate the source of a Dark corruption that was causing the nearby wildlife to viciously attack the locals. Most of the way through the Jedi training dialogue, you're very limited to giving goody-two-shoes responses. This particular trial was Simon's opportunity to express himself properly. Exploring the surrounding countryside I eventually found an enclave occupied by a frenzied, rogue Jedi, Juhani. The source of the corruption, she needed to be dealt with somehow. I can't remember how this worked the first time I played through the game, back when I was a shining force for the Light, but I think she might have tragically killed herself. No such chance this time. At the slightest sign of her showing remorse, I took my chance to declare I was going to kill her for no given reason.

'Bastard of the Old Republic' Screenshot 2

I am a monster. It's true. And it's BioWare's fault.

There's a weird flaw in KOTOR that's highlighted when you play this way. The two members of your party you've chosen to bring with you will splurt and bluster their disgust at your behaviour, but when it comes to the battle itself, they join in with gusto. The simpering idiot Rebel soldier, Carth Onasi, will throw his moral weight around until the game enters combat mode, and then his regular battle barks appear. "You asked for this!" he shouts at the weak, miserable Jedi who's only desperate for help. I put this down to my corrupting influence. There are two far more awful things I did on Dantooine, however, far beyond murdering Juhani and then successfully lying to the Council about it. First was the woman with the droid.

Before I started this project, this was the moment I was thinking about. I remembered some of the options I'd never have dared to pick before, and as I was installing the game I was thinking about this moment. This woman, Elise, has lost her husband. After his death she has been distraught, grieving, and unable to move on. Unable in a really creepy way. Her husband built droids, and had created one in particular to look after the family. One who had now gone missing, only exacerbating her grief. She explained that he vanished from the home without any signs of a break-in, and she's convinced he's been kidnapped. First she loses her husband, and now her only companion.

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Comments: 1-39 of 39 in total

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Pedrolot
22/03/09 @ 08:47
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LOL at the title..
nocutius
22/03/09 @ 08:56
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starting to enjoy it eh :)
Raymeister
22/03/09 @ 09:10
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Brilliant article sir. Cracked me up. This type of thing is what sets Eurogamer apart from the crowd. Look forward to the next installment of Simon Evil's adventures.
stuarty_2003
22/03/09 @ 09:28
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Good banter, that.
Jocho
22/03/09 @ 09:49
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Have noticed the same thing playing the dark side - first a distancing from my actions, then laughing at it, then accepting it, not thinking about it and, after shutting down, being scared by my own development by a "simple" game.

Looking forward to coming episodes, as well.
Bloodhunter
22/03/09 @ 09:57
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i might get this again, just cos i was light when i 1st had it

great article, hk-47 ftw!
hokuto_no_rob
22/03/09 @ 10:12
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Excellent reading.
munki83
22/03/09 @ 10:14
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The game is so much fun playing as a dark jedi but i felt really bad when i robbed the woman in Tatooine. Oh I never played through the sequel as a bastard, me thinks its time to dust it off and start being a bastard of the old republic.
bad09
22/03/09 @ 10:25
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I never play these things evil. ME, KOTOR I was a good hero, just like real life!

Although I did like beating grannies in GTA for some reason....

Anyway top read, KOTOR is B/C so I may stop off to hunt it down on the way home this morning
roBurky
22/03/09 @ 11:18
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"Tattooine is surprisingly absent of overtly awful things to do."

What? The genocide of the entire sand people population isn't an awful thing to do? Tatooine was the one place that made me feel really guilty for playing Dark Side.
chrisc
22/03/09 @ 11:30
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I absolutely loved reading this, highly entertaining -- I'm very much looking forward to part two.

I can remember playing KOTOR ages ago and trying to be evil for a bit, but I just couldn't sustain it and in the end, the most evil thing I probably did was making Bastilla wear some kind of S&M-type garb I came across for the rest of the game.

It doesn't surprise me that I barely scraped the surface of the game even though I played it to the end... I might have to dig it out and give it another try.

Whilst I know it's not the point of the article, how does it fair up on modern hardware?



DarthInsinuate
22/03/09 @ 11:41
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If I remember correctly, at some point in the game you have a conversation with Carth asking him why he so gleefully assists you murdering innocent people. He just claims it's your "evil influence".

I wish you could get evil points for making him walk in to battles with no weapons or clothes.
HolyJebus
22/03/09 @ 11:47
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You do realise all this evil game playing will effect your conscience and eventually turn you into a murderer in the real world. Is it worth it, IS IT?
botherer
22/03/09 @ 12:26
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@roBurky - I didn't really see it that way. It was three fields, and one camp. I slaughtered my way through one camp of them, but figuring planets to be pretty big, I'd say it was quite a ways of genocide.

@chrisc - I keep being surprised how pretty the game still looks. There are a couple of issues with hardware, and it crashed a lot for me at first. I then did the following fix and it seemed to stop.

Find the swkotor.ini file in your installation directory, and under [graphics options] add the line:

Disable Vertex Buffer Objects=1
Transcendent
22/03/09 @ 12:31
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John Walker: While it's fun to read about the comical evil in an old mainstream Bioware game, I'm worried that articles like this pull what little attention exists away from classics like Planescape: Torment where you probably wouldn't even stand to look at some of the evil options.

There's also the Mask of the Betrayer expansion for NWN2 where you among other things can take the souls of everyone of your companions and forge them into a powerful amulet. :D
Edited 1 times, most recently on 22/03/09 @ 12:31
botherer
22/03/09 @ 12:44
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@Transcendent - like I said in the Dark Forces comments last week, if I could get Torment to work without crashing every time someone cast a spell, I'd be pitching it to EG at a million miles an hour.
Retroid [mod]
22/03/09 @ 13:13
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Yay! \o/

One of the few RPGs I've played through twice, first as good and then as evil. But I managed to keep the Jedi lass from Dantooine alive both times ^___^
Rodriguez
22/03/09 @ 13:25
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He he, this article is great! Out of 21ish years of gaming, KOTOR is probably one of my favourite games ever, I think I played it through about nine times with different standard and jedi classes, switiching between good and evil on each different playthrough. HK-47 has to be one of the best videogame, or indeed Star Wars characters ever, better than anything George Lucas himself has thought up within the Star Wars universe in the last couple of decades [Jar Jar Binks, cough wink]. I think Simon Evil is going to enjoy his trip to Korriban....
BigJonno
22/03/09 @ 13:58
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Just make sure you have Canderous and Jolee Bindo with you when you go to Korriban for the first time. I remember their dialogue being particularly awesome at that point.
kentmonkey
22/03/09 @ 14:00
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HK-47 is not the evil equivalent of Comic Relief. For a start he manages to be quite camp and funny. Something Alan Carr misses by a country mile. That and he doesn't repeatedly spout comic diatribe through your speakers and then present you with an image of someone dying on your screen. Admittedly it's usually Alan Carr again, killing his own career on live TV, but there were some genuine people in need of help as well.

Now take that back immediately, HK-47 is much funnier, you evil bastard.
tufty
22/03/09 @ 14:12
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Great article, and the previous one. I have just started playing KOTOR - my backlog is huge - and finished the first planet. Now I realize that I have been playing it all wrong!
AphoticCosmos
22/03/09 @ 14:20
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Going to be replaying KotOR again thanks to a) The Old Republic \o/, b) finally having the time to do it, c) this article!

Great read :D I was always unfailingly good except for my few deliberate darkside playthroughs just to see how bad of a douche I could be. Even as someone who is traditionally nice to people in games, I did find the darkside options creatively ebil and fun >:)
jimboton
22/03/09 @ 14:29
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Awesome. I want more Simon Evil :D
paulf
22/03/09 @ 14:37
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kotor is the game that (almost) screenburnt the health/force bars into my new plasma at the time i played it so much
Razorus
22/03/09 @ 16:05
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Another great journal entry, but there's one mistake, which is made very commonly. Carth is not a rebel. He is a Republic soldier.
The Rebel Alliance doesn't exist.
Ninja_Tino
22/03/09 @ 17:14
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I replayed KOTOR and KOTOR II after the first article, as a real bad ass, naming myself myself 'Sonny Evil', (not original, but Evil goes great with any forename) and had such a blast. So much so, I have adopted that persona in real life and having an even bigger blast.
RexRunti
22/03/09 @ 18:32
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On the "running on a modern machine" side of things. The main thing that throws up problems is having more than 1 CPU or more likely more than 1 CPU core. To resolve start the game then hit Ctrl-Alt-Del then find swkotor.exe (or whatever it's called) in the processes tab of your task manager, right click and hit "Set Affinity..." and uncheck all but 1 cpu. This should resolve any problems. (you can tell by looking at the cursor, if it's flickering in game you'll have to do this)
Futaba
23/03/09 @ 05:10
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FAO: All of you commenters saying you didn't play the dark side in KOTOR...

You're missing out on so much of the game, and so much fun. My real self is not a shard on how my ingame character acted (#1 sadisitc guy in the galaxy), but I still really enjoyed doing it. Maybe I should see a doctor? I played the lightside on my second playthrough and it was nowhere near as fun as the darkside.

Also, the most evil thing you can do in game HAS to be making the wookie kill mission with your force powers.

Now THAT'S evil. I bet you chicken out of doing it though...if you're truly becoming evil you'll prove me wrong! ;)
spacedmonkeys
23/03/09 @ 09:09
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Never even played the game, and have skipped over the previous article just because it was KOTOR related (yawn).
However I'm so glad I read this! "You asked for this!" almost made me splutter my tea out and the whole article put me in a good mood for the rest of Monday! Going back to read the first one now :)
andywilkie35
23/03/09 @ 09:20
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Great article John - makes me wish they'd do a KOTOR 3 rather than a MMO!
Jonny5Alive7
23/03/09 @ 10:03
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Excellent, I really laughed reading some of this. Can't wait for the next episode of Simon Evil's adventures!
PlugMonkey
23/03/09 @ 10:44
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HK-47 is not the evil equivalent of Comic Relief. For a start he manages to be quite camp and funny. Something Alan Carr misses by a country mile. That and he doesn't repeatedly spout comic diatribe through your speakers and then present you with an image of someone dying on your screen. Admittedly it's usually Alan Carr again, killing his own career on live TV, but there were some genuine people in need of help as well.

Now take that back immediately, HK-47 is much funnier, you evil bastard.


I think he may have meant comic relief with a lowercase 'c' and 'r', as in the narrative construct rather than the increasingly unfunny but oh so worthy BBC telethon.
Evolution
23/03/09 @ 11:55
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Fantastic, can't wait for the next one.
moggsy
23/03/09 @ 13:08
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These articles are brilliant :-)
Daryoon
23/03/09 @ 14:31
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I never got the point of having those "moral choices". It always comes down to a single choice affecting the plot, nothing else really matters.

Would be so much more interesting if they'd programmed in some extra paths and endings. If Chrono Trigger could do it...hell, choose your own adventure books could do it!

Would make things far more interesting if you weren't just heading along the same path, just with dialogue changes.
guernican
23/03/09 @ 17:24
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Well-written stuff. Inspired me to buy the damn thing.
bad09
23/03/09 @ 18:01
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"choose your own adventure books could do it!"

Christ I haven't heard anyone mention those in YEARS! Steve Jackson. Ian Livingston. GODS!

My favs were Deathtrap Dungeon, Forest OF Doom, Trial Of Champions and House Of Hell. :)

/ rolls, wounds the creature, subtracts 2 points from its STAMINA score. feels 8 again.
Emilia'sHorse
16/04/09 @ 19:20
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Only just discovered this article, was offline for a while. Caught the first part, this is even better. Thank you, can we have some more?

Danjw
27/04/09 @ 12:21
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Why did you kill Juhani you noob? she makes an excellent minion to torture.

Comments: 1-39 of 39 in total

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