EA Gamescom 2016 live report Finished

Thank the maker for EA, who's still willing to put on a show while others shy away. We're not sure exactly what form that show will take, mind, but we're at least guaranteed new details on Titanfall, Battlefield and FIFA. If we're lucky it'll be a repeat of EA Play just before E3, and we'll be treated to a lot of dubious celebs getting high while playing EA's line-up. Mesut Ozil taking on Reggie Yates at FIFA 17 while chewing mogadon? That'd do nicely. Join us here live from 6.15pm BST.

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  • pomi 9 months ago

    Judging by Martin's comments this was EA at its best.
  • Nikanoru 9 months ago

    Surely someone at EA must have seen the place empty out and taken a lesson from this debacle? Surely?
  • chrisf 9 months ago

    did i miss it ?
  • marvzilla 9 months ago

    awks
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    Having those 3rd person animations is really questionable
  • hulkamania78 9 months ago

    HBK reference the whole show is saved . good job buddy
  • ColJonSquall1 9 months ago

    Also funny how Sony is still behind in updating the store to actually offer the Titanfall 2 tech test. Still another hour and a half until they normally update.
  • Whizzo 9 months ago

    Quite funny that a title that Microsoft still co-market is being played on PS4.
  • Unclebenny 9 months ago

    Did the awful Battlefield 1- pro- gamer-celebrities-on-drugs-mash-up teach EA nothing about presenting their games? This is worse becuas it doesn't have Snoop Dogg in it.
  • ColJonSquall1 9 months ago

    I guess they're afraid PC gamers will literally break their game, as PC gamers excluded from the tech test.
  • rep- 9 months ago

    I'm worried about Martin... No comments for quite some time.
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    Controller aiming is painful to watch
  • Devil_N 9 months ago

    *crickets*
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    Fair point re audience.
  • rep- 9 months ago

    Hardpoint was good. It wasn't king of the hill twat.
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    Is there even an audience any more?
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    I think he was afraid how the audience might answer. As in, honestly.
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 9 months ago

    "It'll be open to everyone." Except PC players. Prick.
  • yas_1 9 months ago

    that wasn't very polite. the titanfall guy asked how they were when they were introducing him and they just went right into questions about the game
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    If you listen carefully you can hear this tapping... it's morse code. "S O S send help - Tom"
  • the-Axtor-show 9 months ago

    Have a nice evening people. Im out of here.
  • Unclebenny 9 months ago

    oh no.....fucking shoutcasters....
  • rep- 9 months ago

    The tech test is to upset PC players because it is only available on console ;)
  • ColJonSquall1 9 months ago

    its Twitch Chat, they cream their pants over Tittyfall
  • rep- 9 months ago

    homies....Americans
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    Twitch chat is in flames ofc lol, this is great
  • rep- 9 months ago

    Thank fuck.
  • ColJonSquall1 9 months ago

    Hey, finally a break from the insanity that is EA sports.
  • hambone47 9 months ago

    Itīs a trap. Theyīre gonna skip Madden?
  • Whizzo 9 months ago

    "Go out and get it" No, fuck off.
  • ColJonSquall1 9 months ago

    Tom fell asleep, lol
  • AoifeLockhart 9 months ago

    Last message received from Tom Phillips: "They are literally keeping us here against our will"
  • hambone47 9 months ago

    Is there any crowd hearing this?
  • ColJonSquall1 9 months ago

    The crowd is burned out, they left to go play Titanfall 2, or any other game at Gamescom
  • rep- 9 months ago

    I'm just jacked...Americans
  • YoyoMcDingdong 9 months ago

    if i wanted to play sports id be outside enjoying the sunshine..this is rubish.
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    Hahaha that crowd response! This is epic! Poetry in motion
  • Bratterz 9 months ago

    tom, we're supposed to be sharing a room
  • the-Axtor-show 9 months ago

    "Yeah"
  • Bratterz 9 months ago

    tom are you okay
  • stoopidgreg 9 months ago

    Please be NFL next
  • hambone47 9 months ago

    ^That sounds better.
  • Bratterz 9 months ago

    did tom get out?
  • ColJonSquall1 9 months ago

    Next up, Boxing on Ice Simulator 2017
  • the-Axtor-show 9 months ago

    well that fut portion really got me pumped up for NHL :( ....
  • ColJonSquall1 9 months ago

    So they're adding goalie fights, great.... Just when they can't muddle the sport with violence any further.
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    Oh. Oh dear. More.
  • west72 9 months ago

    So next time they ask for a volunteer to cover the EA press conference, there will be a Martin sized hole in the wall :)
  • -TheDarkSide- 9 months ago

    I'm out!
  • ColJonSquall1 9 months ago

    They merged the free to play title with FIFA, that's what's new.
  • Whizzo 9 months ago

    It's somehow got worse.
  • spamdangled 9 months ago

    Haha. NHL. I totally called it.
  • VengefullPanda 9 months ago

    dont lie EA you clearly only make fifa now
  • PsychoticPillow 9 months ago

    What the hell are you doing EA?
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    Go forth and drink, Martin. Drink it all away. All... away...
  • YoyoMcDingdong 9 months ago

    great,now..football on ice
  • rep- 9 months ago

    great great
  • Igl85 9 months ago

    shit, did I miss FIFA news? What's new?
  • ColJonSquall1 9 months ago

    Ugh, more sports. I get EA wants to give the sports fans adequate coverage, but an hour per sport, good god.
  • Devil_N 9 months ago

    Please, tell me more about FIFA!
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    There's bound to be more cringe, I'm in this for the long haul!
  • Viperl0 9 months ago

    Yes sacrificing my sister worked. You're all welcome.
  • ColJonSquall1 9 months ago

    So thoughts on FIFA17, it reminds me of the free to play title with better graphics and normal controls.
  • ShiftBreaker 9 months ago

    My god, you weren't kidding about that Song 2 mix. It's atrocious.
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    Oh, there's a manufacturing facility on the planet... New shit ahoy!
  • megatronix 9 months ago

    Just ended the moment I've got here. What a relief i don't have to watch it! XD
  • -TheDarkSide- 9 months ago

    Is the war over?
  • Whizzo 9 months ago

    I'm never buying a FIFA title again.
  • SurgicalOyster 9 months ago

    i farted in sainsbury's earlier, it smelt like helms deep and as i was in the chilled section, it didnt disperse.....think its still there now
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    lmao that crowd cheer.
  • Shporet 9 months ago

    That's all? OH, PLEASE DON'T GO FIFA FOLKS!
  • hulkamania78 9 months ago

    Titan fall 2 TUT Champs Im calling it next followed by BUT Champs follow by ....you get the gist
  • ColJonSquall1 9 months ago

    Finally, its been a good hour just on FIFA. WAY TOO LONG
  • PsychoticPillow 9 months ago

    2 matches of overwatch and this is still happening
  • gribb 9 months ago

    I'm watching this is a hotel room on free 512kpbs wifi. I can't see the stream, only the chat stream - that alone is entertaining enough. Thanks for keeping us amused Mr Robinson!
  • Viperl0 9 months ago

    "Segment" lol
  • Shporet 9 months ago

    @Artulon Great one mate! :)
  • -TheDarkSide- 9 months ago

    I'm going to need years of therapy after this.Look at my eye twitching.
  • Whizzo 9 months ago

    Nearly at the end? THERE IS A GOD!
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    Screw it - PLANET IT IS.
  • spamdangled 9 months ago

    I actually think now they cant show any Battlefield or Titanfall stuff because everyone has left.
  • leehammond 9 months ago

    I feel for you Martin. I just saw this thanks for a GAF thread saying that this was a Fifa fest. I thought this was exaggerating slightly. I see it was not. Oh god.
  • Devil_N 9 months ago

    @hulkamania78: You mean Pele?
  • robero365 9 months ago

    Just when you thought things couldn't get any more exciting...
  • SurgicalOyster 9 months ago

    fifa-go would be better
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    This is hell, it must be, there was a nuclear wear and we're all in hell.
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    Ooh, my first Atlas Interface thing...Do I go for it or down to the giant planet... Hmm...
  • Viperl0 9 months ago

    They think it's all over......... They wish...
  • Hotwhiskey 9 months ago

    Lol...You could'nt make this shit up.
  • spamdangled 9 months ago

    After an hour of talking about FIFA they're STILL going.Look forward to an hour of NHL and an hour of NFL.
  • Decks 9 months ago

    Well she has a bow in her hair
  • -TheDarkSide- 9 months ago

    Please, FIFA.. Get your coat!
  • hulkamania78 9 months ago

    If they bring a 110year old WW1 veteran I am out who's now the first sponsored war veteran I am out
  • Artulon 9 months ago

    Bear walks into a barBarman says "what would you like to drink sir?"Bear says "I'll have a.........Beer"Barman says "why the big pause?"The bear replies "I Don't know, I was born with them"
  • Devil_N 9 months ago

    Ooh, let's improve upon our FIFA coverage by talking about MOBILE!
  • Shporet 9 months ago

    AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA! GOD DAMN IT! FIFA MOBILE!!! :D :D :D
  • stoopidgreg 9 months ago

    Fifa Mobile. It only gets better!
  • Devil_N 9 months ago

    Still football? What am I doing here?
  • SurgicalOyster 9 months ago

    hehe
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    So EA walks into a bar. Everyone in the place quickly exits.
  • -TheDarkSide- 9 months ago

    It has now become a battle of wills.Stay strong lads.
  • icematt12 9 months ago

    So my friend just started watching the Beach Volleyball and there is already a wrist injury. Fortunetly he should be fine for tomorrow's matches.
  • gribb 9 months ago

    Any Eurogamer folk want to fill us in on when F1 2016 is getting reviewed? Need to know if Codies have fulfilled their promises this year!
  • Shporet 9 months ago

    1 hour of FIFA! Unbelievable!
  • SurgicalOyster 9 months ago

    i just made sausage pasta, thats a first during a live stream
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    So a man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Watch it mate I just polished that."
  • Viperl0 9 months ago

    Should I start a Change.org petition to shut this shit down???
  • spamdangled 9 months ago

    This is boring. I actually want them to start talking about FUT again.
  • Devox 9 months ago

    What do you call a man with a tortoise on his head?Mentally unbalanced
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    ...And the barman says "Sorry, we don't serve faster than light neutrinos."So, a faster than light neutrino walks into a bar...
  • PsychoticPillow 9 months ago

    Why are we still here? just so suffer?
  • the-Axtor-show 9 months ago

    Joke: What do call an italian man with a rubber toe? Roberto.
  • YoyoMcDingdong 9 months ago

    this conference is a joke
  • the-Axtor-show 9 months ago

    Joke: What do you call a french man with sandals? Felip Felop....
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    I'm gonna fire it up and have a gander
  • Devox 9 months ago

    Arsenal - best joke out there!!!
  • stoopidgreg 9 months ago

    This game looks like Rocket League with a tiny ball.
  • rep- 9 months ago

    vertigo - at 1440p it looks like 720p
  • Devil_N 9 months ago

    The Lasagne Must Go On.
  • ShiftBreaker 9 months ago

    So, while we're all here suffering. Got any good jokes?
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    Something is not quite right with No Man's Sky as resolution goes. It's a special 1080p that doesn't look like it even with the new drivers.
  • Viperl0 9 months ago

    There are some fates worse than death.
  • Bratterz 9 months ago

    This is worse than when they kept saying "FUT"
  • Devox 9 months ago

    anyone got a shotgun???
  • rep- 9 months ago

    @EnglishChips New Nvidia drivers out today for NMS
  • Bedders 9 months ago

    "Thank the maker for EA, who's still willing to put on a show while others shy away..."
  • Shporet 9 months ago

    Next up: Madden, NHL, NBA live, PGA tour and UFC!
  • gribb 9 months ago

    so... they are going to release more info about that SWTOR expansion tonight right?
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    CANON DAMAGE SIGMA! /flex
  • rep- 9 months ago

    Bratterz - I know...the power of EA money.
  • -TheDarkSide- 9 months ago

    What if, at the centre of NMS universe....There's a recording of this stream?"The horror"!!! :-(
  • gribb 9 months ago

    @Bratterz mate you're destroying the illusion :D
  • jetfire10 9 months ago

    Any chance of mass effect this evening you reckon?
  • Dave_McCoy 9 months ago

    Has it all been about Fifa? I keep dipping in to see if the car crash is still going. It's more than a car crash though, it's becoming a horrible pile up on the M25
  • Sheetbike 9 months ago

    Practicing the banjo while waiting for this dross to end. Not a euphemism.
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    Has anyone else been playing No Man's sky upscaled to double resolution trying to get it not to look like it's 720p? I literally can't look at it until it's sorted. It's still blurry in 6880 x 2880
  • YoyoMcDingdong 9 months ago

    ZZzzzz ZZzzzzz ZZzzzzz
  • Bratterz 9 months ago

    THAT DID NOT HAPPEN
  • IanHigton 9 months ago

    Sorry to break it to you but it's another EA conference in the centre of the galaxy.
  • Bratterz 9 months ago

    HE LIED ABOUT PLAYING FIFA
  • rep- 9 months ago

    Bratterz - Move on. It is the only way.
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    So Martin, just what IS in the center of the Galaxy? Leave out no details.
  • Whizzo 9 months ago

    Whoever reviews FIFA17 at EG should be forced to watch this and mark accordingly.
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    And to think I used to work for those people.
  • Bratterz 9 months ago

    Nah, I'm not having that.
  • Bratterz 9 months ago

    Presenter: Where were you when you found out that you were on the cover of FIFA.Reus: I was with friends, just chillin'...*Long-ass pause*Reus: ...playing FIFA.
  • rep- 9 months ago

    Hopefully another Gold. We are doing well so far in Rio.
  • the-Axtor-show 9 months ago

    EG should take the moral highground and never attend EA press conferences again.
  • Devil_N 9 months ago

    @vert1go: Can't spell "fear" without EA.
  • rep- 9 months ago

    Someone tell Tom to "trip" over the plug and turn off the power.
  • spamdangled 9 months ago

    It's ok Martin, I have all of TNG on Netflix. I can watch it later.
  • blarty 9 months ago

    @rep- how much is 'later'? People need to know before their sanity escapes them....
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    As long as it's not that one with Picard and the bloody flute it's all mostly good.
  • Devil_N 9 months ago

    Time to go eat some lasagna.
  • Artulon 9 months ago

    Thanks for the tip Martin....got TNG on now!
  • -TheDarkSide- 9 months ago

    @rep- Sorry mate, only one bullet left... I'm saving it for myself.
  • Viperl0 9 months ago

    Filling in for Mass Effect
  • rep- 9 months ago

    At least Titanfall 2 and BF1 are on later.
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    As long as there is fear in your heart, the conference will go on.
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    None of us will live long and prosper after this so it doesn't matter. All hope is lost.
  • blarty 9 months ago

    We're looking to move towards an hour on this egregious shite.
  • the-Axtor-show 9 months ago

    this FUT has been going on for an hour. AN HOUR. What are EA thinking? They are pissing on the audience on and offline.
  • -TheDarkSide- 9 months ago

    Tom. Please storm the stage and unplug their telly.
  • Viperl0 9 months ago

    How long is this conference?
  • rep- 9 months ago

    Someone shoot me now.
  • abczyx 9 months ago

    Phew, I have to go. To all those remaining, may god bless you and your families on this painful day.
  • Bratterz 9 months ago

    YOU LYING FOOTBALL MAN
  • Bratterz 9 months ago

    YOU ARE A LIAR
  • Devil_N 9 months ago

    woody in ho? That's disgusting.
  • Bratterz 9 months ago

    YOU WERE NOT PLAYING FIFA WHEN YOU FOUND OUT YOU LYING MAN
  • rep- 9 months ago

    I don't know who this guy is. Obviously he can't be a talented footballer as he doesn't play for Rangers.
  • Whizzo 9 months ago

    They only way this could be improved is if a life size Titan is dropped on them and wipes them out.
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    Didn't they make a game about that guy with giants and stuff?
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 9 months ago

    *puts down tweezers*Marco Reus?! Ugh...*continues plucking*
  • the-Axtor-show 9 months ago

    Reus had an escort...someone might touch his hair.
  • spamdangled 9 months ago

    At least there's some eye candy on screen now./unzips
  • Bratterz 9 months ago

    I'm so sad in my heart
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    Well this just took a downturn.. No wait I can't go even further into the abyss
  • hulkamania78 9 months ago

    its quite possibly worse than that Joel McHale show with Jeff Kiely the other year wow
  • Artulon 9 months ago

    I have no idea who that man is....
  • abczyx 9 months ago

    Nah nah nah nah NAH. My reaction as well.
  • west72 9 months ago

    PLEASE MAKE IT STOP.
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    These new Nvidia drivers I've had time to install are lovely on No Man's Sky even with that stupid SSE4.1 emulator trick, thanks EA for giving me this time.
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    Points if he opens Pele
  • spamdangled 9 months ago

    OMG STOP TALKING ABOUT FUCKING FUT I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!
  • Devil_N 9 months ago

    It's moments like these that make you rethink the choices you've made in life.
  • The_Mockerre 9 months ago

    I've got the site open, but I'm doing Excel sheets for entertainment.
  • Shporet 9 months ago

    I really don't believe this shit! OMG Fucking kit designer!? WTF EA? You've outdone yourselves!
  • PsychoticPillow 9 months ago

    *launches overwatch
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    We clearly have a penchant for vivid, long lasting mental agony.
  • Devil_N 9 months ago

    FIFA is so EXCITING!
  • blarty 9 months ago

    FIFA.... Just FUT off.....
  • icematt12 9 months ago

    See, EG staff cares about their readers.
  • abczyx 9 months ago

    I mean, there are fewer menus in a fucking McDonalds than on this nonsense stream.
  • gribb 9 months ago

    Martin you are my bloody hero!
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 9 months ago

    I reckon I could pluck all my pubes out one-by-one with a pair of tweezers and they'd still be prattling on about FIFA.
  • Decks 9 months ago

    Wooo its zed!!
  • IanHigton 9 months ago

    I just made myself dinner. A lovely chilli with sweet potato noodles. Noodles made out of sweet potato! Whatever will they think of next?
  • abczyx 9 months ago

    The Journey at least looks interesting. But no, FUT menus.
  • spamdangled 9 months ago

    I think Martin wants to stop the running commentary :D
  • the-Axtor-show 9 months ago

    who are those people playing? Paid for actors? Family members of the developers? EA execs?
  • Whizzo 9 months ago

    They'll spend all this time on this boring shite and there'll be five minutes of everything else.
  • Shporet 9 months ago

    And it's only FIFA, wait for the other EAsports games to be presented! :D
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    My life is draining away as I write. I close my eyes and all I see are FUT faces.
  • AoifeLockhart 9 months ago

    Oh my god, Martin's gone feral.
  • -TheDarkSide- 9 months ago

    All that empty space on the show floor.Come on, Tom. It's yearning to be danced on......I dare ya! :D
  • PsychoticPillow 9 months ago

    I'd rather have all the behind the scenes and concept art from E3
  • abczyx 9 months ago

    "I do like me some Scholesy". Jesus christ.
  • blarty 9 months ago

    Go home.... come back next year... this wide boy will still be talking
  • AoifeLockhart 9 months ago

    Martin continues his obsession with studio figureheads and the state of their nipples unabated.
  • Sheetbike 9 months ago

    DON'T SHOW THE WIDE, ZOOM DAMMIT ZOOM
  • the-Axtor-show 9 months ago

    Oh wau....the picture opened. Amazing buzz.
  • rep- 9 months ago

    Looks a bit empty. Should have let more punters in.
  • G-Lord 9 months ago

    @Bratterz: Give them a break, their job is on the line :p.
  • the-Axtor-show 9 months ago

    Cant see the incredible picture @Martin Robinson.
  • G-Lord 9 months ago

    Are there any other games coming up? I have to get to bed by 11 pm :p.
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    See, EA is shrewd. They know we all have drivers to install and things to do. They're giving us the time.
  • icematt12 9 months ago

    Well I feel my soul has been sucked away. Someone at EA is going to be happy.
  • the-Axtor-show 9 months ago

    So to make it more interesting, throw prize money at it.
  • PsychoticPillow 9 months ago

    @vert1go I got an AMD driver waiting, might as well watch that instead
  • SurgicalOyster 9 months ago

    are people like Castro that have been gifted millions of coins and fifa points allowed to enter with the best teams?
  • -TheDarkSide- 9 months ago

    Noooo! It's like a B-Movie monster that refuses to die.
  • Bratterz 9 months ago

    Not after Pele.
  • Bratterz 9 months ago

    You can't call your own executives "special guests"
  • Mike1980 9 months ago

    So the special guest is another EA employee?
  • rep- 9 months ago

    "Great Job" Yeah, Peter.
  • Decks 9 months ago

    Pre-burns Freddy Kruger can suck my cock.
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    No better time to do these things than during EA.
  • abczyx 9 months ago

    This recap has told us everything those fuckheads did in 1/30th of the time.
  • Whizzo 9 months ago

    If we all will it maybe some of the people behind will start throwing beer bottles at them?
  • rep- 9 months ago

    Martin - share the "amazing"
  • Devil_N 9 months ago

    @vert1go: Geez, I was just updating my Nvidia driver as well. What are the odds?
  • Artulon 9 months ago

    Piles is less excruciating than this.....
  • blarty 9 months ago

    Get Tom to wave on stream..... has to happen
  • SurgicalOyster 9 months ago

    Pele!
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    See I always thought FUT was pronounced "foot" until I heard EA say it in a conference and I was thinking "Nooo, no waay!"
  • PsychoticPillow 9 months ago

    So... what games does everyone want to show up this year?
  • Whizzo 9 months ago

    I think we've probably got time to watch the rest of the entire Olympics before this crap will end.
  • blarty 9 months ago

    London EA boy, Oi.... stop talking, you mug.... so we can actually move on, either that or move to the pub and talk this shite with your mates
  • Viperl0 9 months ago

    FFS Stop it now.
  • Mike1980 9 months ago

    Frank Spencer is a preorder bonus.
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    The progress bar on my Nvidia driver is riveting by comparison.
  • The_shlaaaag_returns 9 months ago

    This is mind-numbing. I've had more interesting bouts of the shits.
  • SurgicalOyster 9 months ago

    fut my life make it stop
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    Does Spencer FC get Phil Spencer as paid DLC?
  • abczyx 9 months ago

    "...and here's this giant enemy Costa"
  • spamdangled 9 months ago

    How the fell have they managed to talk about about FUT for nearly half an hour?!
  • Bratterz 9 months ago

    STOP SAYING FUT NOBODY THINKS THAT SOUNDS LIKE A THING STOP IT STOP IT STOP IT
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    With a FUT stream there is no sun, only darkness.
  • west72 9 months ago

    When will this pain end
  • rep- 9 months ago

    No please don't talk about the weekend league.
  • Devil_N 9 months ago

    @G-Lord: I like your thinking. And drinking.
  • the-Axtor-show 9 months ago

    @ChrisTapsellEG I wish i had gas....straight into my appartment, through the letterbox.
  • spamdangled 9 months ago

    I feel sorry for Martin. At least we can choose to watch something else.
  • Whizzo 9 months ago

    They're going to end up doing this FIFA segment for over half an hour. I'm close to phoning Dignitas.
  • abczyx 9 months ago

    Oh my god THERE'S MORE!
  • ChrisTapsellEG 9 months ago

    *joke may or may not have been stolen from another member of EG staff.
  • -TheDarkSide- 9 months ago

    @Devil_N Drowning our sorrows? ;-)
  • Devil_N 9 months ago

    At least I have other exciting things to do right now. Like laundry.
  • G-Lord 9 months ago

    @Devil_N: Drink everytime they call something unexciting exciting :p.
  • ChrisTapsellEG 9 months ago

    I'm on the phone with my gas and electric provider and it's more entertaining than this.
  • abczyx 9 months ago

    Congrats to the London geezer and his friend Banterwick Cummerbants on winning the coveted gold medal for absolute bullshit.
  • IanHigton 9 months ago

    I am cry.
  • Whizzo 9 months ago

    "This is really exciting"NO IT FUCKING ISN'T
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    "And now what you'd all really like to hear about... Yes, the wait is over... Battlefront is getting Prequel content, starting off with Jar-Jar Binks free to download!"
  • Devil_N 9 months ago

    This calls for a drinking game. Any suggestions?
  • spamdangled 9 months ago

    Even that cringeworthy actor from E3 delivering another over-earnest monologue would be better than this.
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    Anyone walking behind snoop is taking a trip on the magic roundabout
  • abczyx 9 months ago

    @-TheDarkSide- Eyelids heavy, knees week wallet is sweaty...
  • Bratterz 9 months ago

    FUT OFF
  • Devil_N 9 months ago

    I'm actually looking forward to seeing a sequel now.
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    You know it's bad when we're nostalgic for the good old days of Pele's stories.
  • blarty 9 months ago

    So this is what? Hearthstone for football fans?
  • spamdangled 9 months ago

    It's like the most boring Twitch stream ever.
  • Whizzo 9 months ago

    Is it too late to Kickstart a drone strike on this?
  • -TheDarkSide- 9 months ago

    Eyelids heavy. Will to live, slowly slipping away....
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    I like how they use the term "play". Would "ponder over" be a better term? "Talk to/about"?
  • rep- 9 months ago

    Can someone at EG no get Tom Phillips to invade the conference and talk about Pokemon Go, or Destiny? Something!
  • west72 9 months ago

    Coming next EA watching paint dry. It will be more exciting than this.
  • abczyx 9 months ago

    This is genuinely the worst presser I've seen. And I've seen a lot. Yes, it's worse than E3 2006 or that awful Microsoft Kinect one.
  • stoopidgreg 9 months ago

    Do these guys know this is live and people are watching? Holy shit this is boring.
  • the-Axtor-show 9 months ago

    @PsychoticPillow There are no actual people present...
  • Whizzo 9 months ago

    The only way this "conference" can be saved is if there's a fire drill.
  • PsychoticPillow 9 months ago

    Has anyone walked out of the conference yet?
  • the-Axtor-show 9 months ago

    stop this now! and move on....
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    Who touched Pele's hair?
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    Why is this still going
  • abczyx 9 months ago

    EA are trying to deploy a Pele, but they don't have enough EA CREDITS?.
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    Did Pele even know he was there?Did he even care?
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    (Well, for those who didn't block it and make their own ads. #FruityOatyBars )
  • west72 9 months ago

    Whenever i see FIFA on a broadcast i have Pele flashbacks.
  • IanHigton 9 months ago

    This is even more boring than those car games you play, Martin.
  • blarty 9 months ago

    Showcasing MLS.... Toronto FC.... at a European games conference.... :rolleyes:
  • rep- 9 months ago

    lol
  • SurgicalOyster 9 months ago

    that castro must be on at least 1 government watch list. i'd be checking his dry wall for bodies of young boys
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    "We didn't want to make this a boring stream" Hahahahaha...
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    Honestly amazed they've never done updating the hoardings around pitches via online. Even BF2142 did in game advertising like that.
  • Devil_N 9 months ago

    Apparently New York City has an FC. That's interesting.
  • abczyx 9 months ago

    Really, we should be blessed that the kings of banter are sparing a moment of their time to show off this thrilling menu.
  • blarty 9 months ago

    "That's crazy, that's awesome!"No......... no it's not.
  • spamdangled 9 months ago

    Are we in danger of aeeing anythibg interesting?
  • PsychoticPillow 9 months ago

    EA, the only company to demo their User Interface
  • rep- 9 months ago

    Still on Fifa..........
  • the-Axtor-show 9 months ago

    This stream goes to show how developers and publishers REALLY need to dig deep to keep refreshing the same franchises year on year. Stale is a word that comes to mind...
  • sweeten16 9 months ago

    499,000 fifa points 15 million coins. Wonder how much that would cost in real money?
  • G-Lord 9 months ago

    @PsychoticPillow: My exact thoughts...
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    They're actually showcasing FUT right now.This is legitimately happening...Look at all this gameplay!
  • PsychoticPillow 9 months ago

    How long will this stream go on for?
  • Mike1980 9 months ago

    Thanks to the power of Frostbite? I lost my little finger.
  • SurgicalOyster 9 months ago

    these clowns are like someone from the shopping channel
  • rep- 9 months ago

    That fucking tash
  • SurgicalOyster 9 months ago

    i think shes just a better presenter to be fair
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    Thanks to Frostbite, you can now view FUT faces in glorious 8K!
  • the-Axtor-show 9 months ago

    is there any actual people in the audience?
  • blarty 9 months ago

    SurgicalOyster - putting aside her swearing for a moment, I just get the feeling that she seems more connected to the games etc than a lot of very one dimensional presenters
  • Devil_N 9 months ago

    All those FIFA games seem to just blend together. The only one that sticks out to me is RTWC 98 for some reason.
  • PsychoticPillow 9 months ago

    Isnt this exactly the same as last year?
  • SurgicalOyster 9 months ago

    should be able to go on pre season tours and make a dogging video with asian hookers
  • rep- 9 months ago

    I hate Fifa
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    New to FIFA: Advertising mode!
  • abczyx 9 months ago

    In fairness, the new career mode changes look good and are long overdue. Good to see their focus is not exclusively on FUT.
  • stoopidgreg 9 months ago

    Shirt sales data. Exciting times
  • Mike1980 9 months ago

    Does this Fifa make Costa start random fights with other players?
  • Devil_N 9 months ago

    ZOMG you can play football in Fifa?!
  • PsychoticPillow 9 months ago

    Do they really need to demo a FIFA game?
  • SurgicalOyster 9 months ago

    blarty, is she the one that swears all the time cos she thinks it makes her "cool" i hate her
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    'We made it so you can kick the ball, but new to FIFA 17, kick tokens! Only 10 pence per kick!'
  • rep- 9 months ago

    Aisha Tyler is great at Ubi
  • blarty 9 months ago

    Every EA conference reaffirms why I love Aisha Tyler at Ubisoft@E3
  • stoopidgreg 9 months ago

    Story cutscenes in Fifa weren't possible before Frostbyte?
  • abczyx 9 months ago

    They probably could have done it without Frostbite(tm).
  • Hotwhiskey 9 months ago

    Biggest FIFA ever made: they say that every year. other crap
  • SurgicalOyster 9 months ago

    fifa made by a bunch of canadians that know fuck all about tactics and in fact football in general, thats why gameplay is so shite
  • sweeten16 9 months ago

    Biggest we've ever made! No developers ever said that ever
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    (It has five planets.)
  • blarty 9 months ago

    'FUT' - the word every presenter has to be really futting careful of when saying.
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    It's okay, I can fly around the Kirrin System in No Man's Sky while sportsball is on.
  • Tiel 9 months ago

    Paid sincerity is such a good look!
  • rep- 9 months ago

    Fucking hipster tash.
  • DigitalTwisted 9 months ago

    Your favourite game mode Spencer. Not mine.
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    Fifa 98 remake time.
  • EnglishChips 9 months ago

    Yay, fifa, there was football and everything!...
  • the-Axtor-show 9 months ago

    tash!
  • abczyx 9 months ago

    Phew, the circles are back. I'm deflecting my gaze towards the outer rings now. So mesmeric IGN 10/10
  • funkstar 9 months ago

    hang ongrow up is out on psn, why are we watching this
  • G-Lord 9 months ago

    Not expecting much after EAs E3 show. The only good thing that came out of that was Terry Crews getting into PC gaming :p.
  • spamdangled 9 months ago

    Who is responsible for this godawful dance remix of Song 2?
  • SurgicalOyster 9 months ago

    in game footage please, anything looks good in a video
  • Devil_N 9 months ago

    Is this EA admitting that FIFA peaked with '98?
  • the-Axtor-show 9 months ago

    having random people do random "hype" commentary is soooo not needed....
  • G-Lord 9 months ago

    Song 2!
  • rep- 9 months ago

    "This is so, so awkward." - Gamescom and E3 wouldn't be the same without awkward.
  • PsychoticPillow 9 months ago

    This is already more awkward than E3
  • blarty 9 months ago

    "actual in game footage" - that'll be why there's no Mass Effect Andromeda then.....
  • spamdangled 9 months ago

    "There is something here for everyone" says the EA lady.I'm an RPG fan. Nothing here for me.
  • rep- 9 months ago

    This guy....
  • funkstar 9 months ago

    these two are right tits
  • abczyx 9 months ago

    Do they bounce off? Or are they passing through each other? Or both? Such mystery.
  • Viperl0 9 months ago

    except for mass effect
  • Devil_N 9 months ago

    Sequel, yearly update, yearly update, yearly update, sequel. Nice going so far.
  • rep- 9 months ago

    Good, want to see TF2 MP footage tonight
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    Surprise announcement of Mirror's Edge Catalyst. It's a renake reboot prequel, in VR. Origin exclusive.
  • blarty 9 months ago

    So is just one long ad?
  • the-Axtor-show 9 months ago

    Havent we seen these games before?
  • rep- 9 months ago

    I miss Andrew Wilson's sharp suit from E3
  • rep- 9 months ago

    Who the fuck is that guy?
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    Don't take my name in vain.
  • Mike1980 9 months ago

    I miss the "Streaming is about to start" message.
  • the-Axtor-show 9 months ago

    my god....
  • abczyx 9 months ago

    Oh god, the circles are still there. That's all I can see.
  • rep- 9 months ago

    Jesus fucking Christ
  • PsychoticPillow 9 months ago

    10 seconds in and already cringe
  • Devil_N 9 months ago

    "Please install Origin to watch this live stream."
  • SurgicalOyster 9 months ago

    this stream isnt DLC is it?
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    I'm so excited I'm watching No Man's Sky crash again.
  • abczyx 9 months ago

    I love watching those inner circle bits appear to bounce off each other. A top visual illusion.
  • Mike1980 9 months ago

    Club houses in Destiny? Cool.
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    #Conspirasagnegate#nipplewatch2
  • funkstar 9 months ago

    @rep- finally i thought i was the only #nipple3 survivor
  • the-Axtor-show 9 months ago

    I think the only conspiracy is this stream. Its EA trying to keep us from playing their competitors games....
  • Devil_N 9 months ago

    How much cheese do you guys think we'll see from EA tonight?
  • rep- 9 months ago

    Is Peter Moore tweaking his nips?
  • funkstar 9 months ago

    a conspiracy with many layers
  • Devil_N 9 months ago

    @vert1go With lots of cheese on top!
  • rep- 9 months ago

    lol @ spambot invading live comments
  • rep- 9 months ago

    Honey and Ginger ice cream sounds nice. Never tried it.
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    That's weird. I just had lasagne. There's a conspiracy here. A delicious, hot conspiracy.
  • funkstar 9 months ago

    did anyone see that pele movie, where pele had a cameo as not pele
  • MatMan562 9 months ago

    I've almost eaten all of my Party Rings already :(
  • Devil_N 9 months ago

    @blarty What coincidence! I was just about to put lasagne in the oven too! How much fun we are having here!
  • Mike1980 9 months ago

    I spy with my little eye, something beginning with... K
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    Pele as DLC for Battlefront?
  • blarty 9 months ago

    I've got a lasagne in the oven..... probably have time to serve it up to the kids, eat it and wash up before the show starts.
  • Devil_N 9 months ago

    EA are just fashionably late.
  • rep- 9 months ago

    No sound too. Made me check my speakers;p
  • SurgicalOyster 9 months ago

    are they using their own servers? if so it'll be a right clusterfuck
  • funkstar 9 months ago

    @rep- nope we all have it
  • rep- 9 months ago

    beginning to wonder if I am the only one with the show starts soon stream
  • paulyates1 9 months ago

    Agreed blarty. I have a bad feeling about the game to be honest. EA and Bioware are being very weird about it
  • blarty 9 months ago

    I really don't know if I can be bothered even being slightly interested in ME:A anymore, never mind hyped.
  • funkstar 9 months ago

    martin you tease
  • the-Axtor-show 9 months ago

    what a waste of 20minutes, a bit like my money on Simcity.
  • rep- 9 months ago

    Bugger @ no ME
  • rep- 9 months ago

    running late
  • paulyates1 9 months ago

    Nope, No ME.
  • rep- 9 months ago

    No ME?
  • paulyates1 9 months ago

    Well, no ME:A. I'm off
  • rep- 9 months ago

    /notices mention of nips. fond memories from E3 2016
  • rep- 9 months ago

    Made it!!
  • jonnyd1982 9 months ago

    omg omg omg!!! the tension!!!
  • blarty 9 months ago

    The whole not showing Mass Effect:Andromeda gameplay between here and E3 worries me a bit, especially for a game that's supposed to be out in a little over 6 months
  • salexy 9 months ago

    @the-Axtor-show Sims was so cringe worthy last year, but the dropped it this year
  • the-Axtor-show 9 months ago

    what a show!!!!
  • funkstar 9 months ago

    boooooooooo(th)
  • paulyates1 9 months ago

    We seeing any ME:A?
  • funkstar 9 months ago

    Martin: you forgot to ask if you can see his nips
  • the-Axtor-show 9 months ago

    No stream here yet....
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    Surprise Fifa NX exclusivity announcement, with live gameplay demo.
  • Tart 9 months ago

    Peta had better do a sexy dance with the pole or I'm switching off!
  • the-Axtor-show 9 months ago

    Im looking forward to some cringe worthy material from EA. Dont let me down. Some extempore dancing? Some fake happy families playing games? Some streetsmart talk from Execs? Yeah....bring it.
  • funkstar 9 months ago

    i bet they knock the limbo bar with their nips
  • Tart 9 months ago

    Does Gamescom smell as bad as E3?
  • Scurrminator 9 months ago

    So it was Tom I needed to make friends with. Damn
  • funkstar 9 months ago

    nipplewatching is always fun
  • funkstar 9 months ago

    are we actually expecting anything new?
  • RiahJoan 9 months ago

    What I'd give to be there right now instead of work!!
  • -TheDarkSide- 9 months ago

    DEAD.. SPACE!... That is all.
  • funkstar 9 months ago

    i think we'll have to settle with awkward use of the word 'play'
  • Gremmoo 9 months ago

    I'm hoping they'll announce Stephen's Sausage Roll Championship Edition DX for consoles.
  • funkstar 9 months ago

    fantastic
  • funkstar 9 months ago

    martin, i hope you're watching for nipples again
  • Scurrminator 9 months ago

    I'll settle for staying in the sun with a beer and iPad ;-) thanks for the kind offer though!
  • Scurrminator 9 months ago

    Any chance you can sneak me in Martin? I'm sure EA wouldn't mind an Activision guy being there!
  • Gnort 9 months ago

    @krokzak You're going to have to hope EXTREMELY hard to have a chance of a Take-Two game being announced in an EA conference.
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    I wonder if now the international trailers are out Rogue One might get something.
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    Fifa 2018: We've Finally Added Females Edition.
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    "I really like the paycheck I get for working on this."
  • rep- 9 months ago

    Will Mass Effect be there?
  • vert1go 9 months ago

    Taking bets on developers staring at screens tenderly.
  • jamster126 9 months ago

    ''Here is a sizzle reel of all our upcoming games which are probably 2 years away so dont expect any game footage''
  • rep- 9 months ago

    I wonder if Bethesda's screaming lady has crossed the pond to join us again this evening.
  • Gnort 9 months ago

    "You know those games we're making? We're still making them, and the people making them are still excited to be making them.Now that we have that out of the way, here's a famous football person!"
  • krokzak 9 months ago

    Will there be some Red Dead Redemption news? A man can only hope.
  • TheSensationalSean 9 months ago

    All I want is Star Wars!
  • Simatron3000 9 months ago

    British Summer Time.
  • mkreku 9 months ago

    What the hell is BST?
  • SpaceMonkey77 9 months ago

    Oh man, its that time again. Hope you are well, Marty.
  • Gnort 9 months ago

    @BadoinkAndromeda hype preemptively crushed :(
  • Badoink 9 months ago

    They already said there won't anything about Andromeda on Gamescom.
  • Eraysor 9 months ago

    Start time?
  • Viperl0 9 months ago

    So hyped for Andromeda :)

Our live coverage has now ended. Here's what you missed: Updating...

15:41 By Martin Robinson

Oi oi! Who's up for some GAMESCOM! There ain't no party like a sausage party!

15:48 By Martin Robinson

I'm so pumped I've just downed a pot of coffee and am about to get down to do some push-ups in my garden in an effort to contain the excitement.

15:48 By Martin Robinson

(I'll be watching remotely from sunny Lewisham while Tom Phillips will be there on the floor for us).

15:49 By Martin Robinson

What to expect? Going from June's EA Play event, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

15:49 By Martin Robinson

Aside from some awkward celebrity cameos. But that's what we're all here for, right?

15:50 By Martin Robinson

Thankfully EA's already got some of that boring game stuff out the way, having already released its Battlefield 1 Gamescom trailer and teased the announcement of a beta for Titanfall 2 over that'll be taking place over the next two weekends.

15:51 By Martin Robinson

What does that leave? Nothing but wall-to-wall beat poetry about sports and walk-ons from sporting celebrities.

15:51 By Martin Robinson

Which is something I could watch for hours on end.

15:53 By Martin Robinson

For now, though, I'm going to try and calm myself with a cold shower. I'll see you back here just before kick-off!

16:54 By Martin Robinson

So, the other news from tonight's conference has just been announced. A Titanfall 2 open beta *will* be taking place this coming weekend and the weekend after on PS4 and Xbox One.

16:54 By Martin Robinson

I can't tell you anything about what's just been announced 'til 8pm tonight because embargoes lol.

16:55 By Martin Robinson

But anyway we'll have plenty of video of the maps and modes live then plus some of me waffling about it all. It's Titanfall. It's got robots in. It's good.

Scurrminator says:

Any chance you can sneak me in Martin? I'm sure EA wouldn't mind an Activision guy being there!

16:59 By Martin Robinson

I'm watching remotely, though I could sneak you into my house?

17:12 By Martin Robinson

Can I get a couple of games of Overwatch in before this all kicks off?

17:13 By Martin Robinson

Always. Always.

funkstar says:

martin, i hope you're watching for nipples again

17:44 By Martin Robinson

17:44 By Martin Robinson

Tom's on the show floor, where he's reporting that lots of people are awkwardly sitting around.

17:44 By Martin Robinson

EXCITING.

17:45 By Martin Robinson

No. But, er, stick around! It *might* be fun.

funkstar says:

are we actually expecting anything new?

17:53 By Martin Robinson

From previous experience, yes. The smell of teenage enthusiasm is much more overpowering there.

Tart says:

Does Gamescom smell as bad as E3?

17:58 By Martin Robinson

Blizzard's own Gamescom video has just wrapped.

17:58 By Martin Robinson

And it was *awful*. We did get confirmation of a new Overwatch map, mind.

17:58 By Martin Robinson

That and a whole load of nonsensical vapid noise. It has, at least, set the bar very low.

17:58 By Martin Robinson

Let's see EA limbo under it in just over 15 minutes.

18:01 By Tom Phillips

Hello from EA's press event room - I say room, it's a corner of the EA booth with lots of awkward journos standing around!

18:02 By Tom Phillips

There's a podium in the centre where we're hoping Peter Moore will speak or maybe do some kind of sexy dancing.

18:03 By Tom Phillips

No one's really sure how little we're going to get but a few gamepads are sat on the stage so some kind of live demo filler looks likely.

18:07 By Tom Phillips

Well, I'm not sure what the EA stream is showing for you guys at home but here we're having a lukewarm intro from Patrick Soderlund. Games in the spotlight today - well, no surprises: FeefifoFIFA, Battlefield, Titanfall

18:08 By Martin Robinson

Thanks, Tom. But what's he wearing?

18:11 By Tom Phillips

Shirt, one button open, smart trousers. Can confirm shirt was tucked.

18:12 By Martin Robinson

Good stuff, thanks for the update.

18:12 By Tom Phillips

It sounds like the live stream you'll see in 10 minutes will be footage from the booth, which we've just been told to go play on. I think that's it from here!

18:13 By Martin Robinson

That's a negative I'm afraid.

paulyates1 says:

We seeing any ME:A?

18:14 By Martin Robinson

Not sure about nipples but I'm fully expecting a couple of proper tits in a minute.

funkstar says:

Martin: you forgot to ask if you can see his nips

18:15 By Martin Robinson

Wait for it!

18:15 By Martin Robinson

Wait for it...

18:16 By Martin Robinson

Any second now...

18:16 By Martin Robinson

*lets out slow, dry fart*

18:21 By Martin Robinson

I hope you're having as much fun as I am right now.

18:21 By Martin Robinson

Though I have used the time to reheat last night's cassoulet which I'm getting through right now.

18:22 By Martin Robinson

Same here. Same everywhere.

rep- says:

beginning to wonder if I am the only one with the show starts soon stream

18:24 By Martin Robinson

*applauds*

SurgicalOyster says:

are they using their own servers? if so it'll be a right clusterfuck

18:25 By Martin Robinson

I'm done with the cassoulet. I've got some honey and ginger ice cream in the freezer but I should probably save that for later.

18:26 By Martin Robinson

Can I squeeze in a game of Overwatch before this begins?

18:26 By Martin Robinson

Hey, the new Overwatch map might even be out by the time this begins.

18:28 By Martin Robinson

That's no spam. I've met her Auntie Brooke and it is indeed a very nice Cadillac she drives.

rep- says:

lol @ spambot invading live comments

18:29 By Martin Robinson

Meanwhile, in publishers who've got their shit together land, Activision just announced that club houses for clans are coming to Destiny.

18:29 By Martin Robinson

Stealth Destiny live report, sorry.

18:30 By Martin Robinson

Oh wait!

18:31 By Martin Robinson

Oh no!

18:31 By Martin Robinson

It's begun, and part of me wishes it hadn't!

18:32 By Martin Robinson

'EA's kicking off Gamescom 2016 with some of the hottest news of the summer'. I hope they're done sometime before autumn.

18:33 By Martin Robinson

Screw nipplewatch, we've got our first bona fide tit of the show.

rep- says:

Who the fuck is that guy?

18:33 By Martin Robinson

FIFA Ultimate Team Champions is a new, new news thing.

18:35 By Martin Robinson

This is so, so awkward.

18:36 By Martin Robinson

We're kicking off with FUTFUTFUTFUTFUT.

18:36 By Martin Robinson

Haha I said kicking off that's a football thing right?

18:37 By Martin Robinson

This club remix of Blur's Song 2 that's soundtracking the trailer is new to me. It's kind of gross.

18:38 By Martin Robinson

Maybe it's just because I'm old and cranky and I haven't had my nap today.

18:39 By Martin Robinson

Spencer from Spencer FC - are they from the Evo-Stick North or something? - is taking us through this.

18:40 By Martin Robinson

Nick Channon, a man who makes video games and is likely to be more bearable than anyone else on this stream, is on stage to take us through what's new.

18:41 By Martin Robinson

The Frostbite engine is the big thing for this year's FIFA.

18:42 By Martin Robinson

Driven throughballs, active intelligence and more physical play are the innovations in this year's FIFA.

18:43 By Martin Robinson

I think they were the innovations a few years back too? God I've been doing this too long - it's all one big grey smear.

18:45 By Martin Robinson

Spencer FC, for those over 30 like me, isn't a football club.

18:45 By Martin Robinson

It's a man.

18:46 By Martin Robinson

FUT time. Futty fut fut.

18:47 By Oli Welsh

I can't believe they actually, officially pronounce it "futt".

18:48 By Martin Robinson

To cut to the chase, EA's just issued a press release about Ultimate Team.

18:48 By Martin Robinson

The short of it: 'This year's FUT adds squad-building challenges and FUT Champions.

'FUT Champions is daily knockout tournaments for in-game rewards. Through it, you get a chance to play in the Weekend League. There's a Monthly Leaderboard to work towards.

'If you get to the top spots on the leaderboard, you could get the chance to compete in the new FUT Championship Series. There's a $1.3m prize pool on offer. It all sounds like EA's trying to take FUT into the world of eSports.'

18:49 By Martin Robinson

Indefinitely. Forever.

Well, too long. That's for sure.

PsychoticPillow says:

How long will this stream go on for?

18:52 By Martin Robinson

Where's Pele when you need him?

18:52 By Martin Robinson

Oi!

IanHigton says:

This is even more boring than those car games you play, Martin.

18:54 By Martin Robinson

Everyone on this stream looks so confused. So lethargic. It's like the end of a really bad trip.

18:55 By Martin Robinson

I think I'm about to have a whitey. And I haven't smoked a thing.

18:55 By Martin Robinson

Do you remember that time Pele told us about the Swedish girl that touched his hair?

18:56 By Martin Robinson

We were all so much happier then. Simpler, better times.

18:57 By Martin Robinson

At least at E3 we got to see Zac Efron and Jamie Foxx clearly off their tits while playing Battlefield.

18:58 By Martin Robinson

I know this is a bit lower rent, but can't they pump Max and O.B. from Hollyoaks with some PCP and get them playing Titanfall 2?

18:59 By Martin Robinson

Spencer FC, you're about to be relegated.

19:00 By Martin Robinson

Johnny's just pointed out that Spencer FC has a huge wodge of cue cards to get through.

19:01 By Martin Robinson

We could be here all night.

19:01 By Martin Robinson

Hang on, have we been here all night? I can see the sun, but maybe it's the morning already.

19:04 By Martin Robinson

Tom is on the show floor right now.

19:04 By Martin Robinson

And he's just shared something *amazing*.

19:05 By Martin Robinson

(which I'm now trying to upload)

19:05 By Martin Robinson

Before then, our special guest is... Peter Moore.

19:06 By Martin Robinson

Anyway, here are the scenes live from the floor where this is happening.

19:06 By Martin Robinson

19:07 By Martin Robinson

Just incredible.

19:08 By Tom Phillips

Update from the "show floor" - a lot of people are no longer in the building.

19:08 By Martin Robinson

Remember that time Peter's nipples stood out like fleshy bullets on-stage at EA Play earlier this year?

19:08 By Martin Robinson

Someone in wardrobe clearly does - he's been sheathed in a blue suit jacket.

19:09 By Martin Robinson

There is no-one there.

19:09 By Martin Robinson

Go home. Go be with your families and friends. Remind that someone special that you love them.

19:10 By Martin Robinson

Clip your toenails. Clean your ears. Chisel all that burnt-in cheese off your grill.

19:10 By Martin Robinson

Do something, anything other than this.

19:11 By Martin Robinson

There are almost 800 people on this page right now. I want all of you to go away and do something else. Close this tab.

19:11 By Martin Robinson

I can see how many people are on here. I won't be happy until that number's gone down to zero.

19:11 By Martin Robinson

Oh god it's just gone up.

19:12 By Martin Robinson

What is *wrong* with you people?

19:13 By Martin Robinson

I'm just going to curl up in the corner for a little bit. Please go away.

19:14 By Martin Robinson

I just drifted off. I had this terrible dream that I was watching a stream where they were showing off Kasabian-inspired football shirts.

19:15 By Martin Robinson

Oh god this is actually happening isn't it.

19:15 By Martin Robinson

Reus is being escorted through an empty showfloor to join them.

19:16 By Martin Robinson

Marco Reus, 27-year-old attacking midfielder for Dortmund. So Wikipedia tells me.

Artulon says:

I have no idea who that man is....

19:17 By Martin Robinson

'Let's make it interesting' says Spencer United. I think it's too late for that.

19:18 By Martin Robinson

I'm told that most people have left the event, and devs are filling the stations that were intended for attendees to play.

19:19 By Martin Robinson

Star Trek TNG is on Syfy at the moment.

19:19 By Martin Robinson

Just sayin'.

19:20 By Martin Robinson

Pretty good episode too.

19:20 By Martin Robinson

Fifth series, Picard and Data go to investigate a rumour that Spock's defected to the Romulans.

19:21 By Martin Robinson

You've missed the first 20 minutes but if you tune in now you'd get the gist.

19:21 By Martin Robinson

Women's Omnium tonight, too. Looking forward to that.

19:22 By Martin Robinson

Let's see, what else. There's One Foot in The Grave on Gold.

19:22 By Oli Welsh

I JUST GOT THE WARP REACTOR TAU BLUEPRINT.

19:22 By Martin Robinson

That's not a bad way to spend a Tuesday night.

19:23 By Martin Robinson

Oh god there's now even more of you on this page. What can we do to make you go away?

19:23 By Oli Welsh

Sorry to interrupt.

19:23 By Martin Robinson

What if I spoilt every big game that's out at the moment?

19:23 By Martin Robinson

What if I told you what happens in Harry Potter and The Cursed Child?

19:24 By Martin Robinson

I'll do it. I swear I will.

19:24 By Martin Robinson

I'll ruin everything for you. I'll tell you who Rey's parents are.

19:24 By Martin Robinson

Leave this page now, or everything will be meaningless to you.

19:26 By Martin Robinson

Aaaaaggghhh the number of people watching this live report has gone up again.

19:26 By Martin Robinson

WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME.

19:26 By Martin Robinson

I have a family I want to see. Please. Spare me.

19:27 By Martin Robinson

Please, yes. Anything to lift the pain.

ShiftBreaker says:

So, while we're all here suffering. Got any good jokes?

19:28 By Martin Robinson

Ding ding ding! We have a winner!

YoyoMcDingdong says:

this conference is a joke

19:30 By Martin Robinson

Hey, I had a sausage in my cassoulet earlier. What are the chances!

SurgicalOyster says:

i just made sausage pasta, thats a first during a live stream

19:31 By Martin Robinson

Friday 8am. I'm on it myself - without giving too much away it's really good this year.

gribb says:

Any Eurogamer folk want to fill us in on when F1 2016 is getting reviewed? Need to know if Codies have fulfilled their promises this year!

19:31 By Martin Robinson

Hang on. We're onto FIFA Mobile now.

19:32 By Martin Robinson

For my sanity, and for your own, I will be dialling out shortly.

19:32 By Martin Robinson

I'm only doing it because I care about you all.

19:32 By Martin Robinson

It really is a lovely evening out.

19:33 By Martin Robinson

Go for a walk, make the most of that glorious summer twilight.

19:34 By Martin Robinson

Enjoy life. It's short, make the most of it.

19:34 By Martin Robinson

I don't ever want to see you here again.

19:36 By Martin Robinson

'Don't go changin'' says Spencer Harriers as the FIFA section comes to an end. No, don't *you* ever change Spencer.

19:37 By Martin Robinson

Farewell, goodnight, god bless.

20:12 By Martin Robinson

Are you *still* here?

20:16 By Martin Robinson

If you're here for Titanfall, why not just watch some videos of me playing it really badly?

20:19 By Martin Robinson

We'll have more inspiring nonsense for you over the next few days (and while it's been a slow start there's some really juicy stuff inbound - trust me!) Have a grand evening. And sorry, I guess.