Without sounding too much like a street magician: think of a video game helicopter. Any video game helicopter. Don't tell me what it is for now, just keep it in your mind. If it didn't crash, then the chances are it was used to spoon-feed you a few plot points before the action started.
When Lethal Weapon 3 got its cinematic release in 1992, my parents dutifully went along to the cinema to watch it. At the end of the credits, they were delighted to discover, there was one last scene - an easter egg to reward those who watched all those names scroll past on the screen. So began an excruciating family tradition.
Rogue Warrior developer Rebellion Derby is to be closed down.
It's got Mickey Rourke voice-acting. It's got more gratuitous bad language than just about any first-person shooter you've ever experienced. But sadly that's all the good stuff. Rogue Warrior has nothing else of much interest, and the obscenity-littered dialogue that would become its trademark were it memorable enough to deserve one isn't particularly witty anyway.
The Rogue Warrior of the title is real-life SEAL commander Dick Marcinko, upon whose heroics the game is apparently based. Slashing, shooting, blasting and punching his way through North Korea and the Soviet Union during the Cold War era, Marcinko's task is to blow up the Russians' nuclear arsenal, plus their own fully armed and operational Star Wars missile defence shield, all the while ignoring explicit orders to disengage from the pencil-necked bureaucrats at mission control.
In addition to guns, grenades and knives, Marcinko is also armed with an infinite supply of star-spangled F-bombs that he unleashes with gay abandon upon the hated Commie scum, who are, apparently, "cocksuckers".
If your husband, brother or son hasn't written many letters home since joining the North Korean army, Dick Marcinko may know something about it. Craggy of face, piercing of stare, and pony-tailed of haircut, this one-man militia is the last thing thousands of enemy soldiers see before they head for that big old barracks in the sky.
Bethesda Softworks is to publish a new Unreal Engine 3 powered first-person shooter called Rogue Warrior on Xbox 360, according to Official Xbox 360 Magazine. (Update: an announcement today confirmed that the game will also be released on PC and PS3.)