So much for The Future. It's 2010 and there are still no monorails, not to mention all the other stuff we were promised. Where are the hoverboards? What happened to robot butlers? Why don't we spend our leisure time drinking dry ice cocktails, eating burgers in pill form and playing holographic chess? And why are game developers still making 2D side-scrolling shooters?
Perhaps because their attempts at new-fangled third-person shooters fall flat, as did Vicious Cycle's Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard. You can read our review for the full lowdown but if you can't be bothered here's a summary: "boring", "feeble", "horribly low-rent", "relentlessly dull and repetitive", "a howling misfire", "3/10".
The opening cut-scene of Matt Hazard: Blood Bath and Beyond acknowledges that the first game didn't do so well. Except it's not a cut-scene at all but a text conversation between two still images, which takes place at the bottom of a blank black screen. "Why are we using text? Didn't we have big-name voice actors last time?" says Matt Hazard. "Budget cuts, bad reviews..." replies his boss. Just to emphasise the point, another piece of text informs us this game is set "six months after the release of Eat Lead (now available in bargain bins near you...)"