EA Playground

EA Playground

EA Playground

Downward slide.

According to the press blurb, EA Playground "captures the exuberance and nostalgia of your neighborhood playground". The clue is in the spelling of the word "neighborhood", as it indicates the author of that sentence grew up in a nice clean North American suburb. They've clearly never been to our neighbourhood playground, where "exuberance" translates as 12 year-old drug dealers throwing dried-up dog eggs at each other.

There are no dog eggs in EA Playground. It's a nice clean collection of mini-games for the Wii. It's aimed at kiddies and families and up to four players can join in. Unfortunately, just as it is devoid of dog eggs, it is devoid of any charm, humour, depth or challenge. It is to Wii Sports what Jimmy Carr is to Will Self.

There are seven mini-games in total. First up is Dodgeball, where two teams of three characters throw balls at each other. You thrust the remote upwards to shoot and swing left or right to dodge, and (assuming you're not in the single-player story mode - more on that later) you can catch balls and pull off mega throws and so on. It's incredibly tedious, with a lot of stand-offs where some players are just waiting for others to throw balls, and there isn't much skill involved.

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