Tom gave me this story because he thinks he's a funny guy. You're not a funny guy, Tom. Anyway, there's an official patch for Postal 2, one our most revered games of the past year.
Included in the list of changes are two new levels - Obligatory Sewer System, "full of Middle Eastern terrorists", and Tora Bora, the Taliban cave complex. The latter also features a new weapon, the cringe-worthy Weapon of Mass Destruction. One of the more useful changes (depending on how you look at it) is dramatically faster level loading times, although we're not able to tell you just how much faster because our copy of the game has long since disappeared from our drives. There are also new difficulty levels and cheats, and "innocent, unarmed bystanders are even easier to kill now." Should you for some reason feel at all inclined, you can read the full list of changes here, though it appears that they forgot to include that the patch actually makes the game any good. We suppose it doesn't, then.
Oh, and the version number for the patch? 1337.