Depression Page 99

  • Page

    of 143 First / Last

  • Deleted user 30 July 2012 22:30:31
    Well done, best thing you can do atm. Honestly should pat yourself on the back for making the appointment.
  • nedsnurb 8 Aug 2012 19:54:58 15 posts
    Seen 2 years ago
    Registered 6 years ago
    Hi,

    Just thought I'd share my recent troubles with depression and anxiety and maybe gain some advice in the process.

    Basically I had been having an amazing year, new girlfriend, car, new job on the horizon and about to move into our own place when out of the blue about a month ago I started to feel how I would best describe as "empty".

    Now I would describe myself as a likeable person, sporty, etc but I would admit I have suffered with issues especially with perfectionism since a young age, I would hate to lose and still do, I have this idea that things must be perfect else my whole life is crashing down around me. Which is utterly ridiculous but a notion I just have never been able to shake.

    I had suffered one similar feeling whilst a uni during a stressful period but thankfully managed to overcome it and generally I have been happy and feeling great since and before that. However recently my nan has been diagnosed with cancer, I have been having a few problems at home and with new job, house move etc I think it all took its toll.

    However this would be less agonising apart from the fact I have been having frequent arguments with my girlfriend, who I love to bits, but because of how I am feeling would argue about complete nonsense like not texting etc. I have hated myself for trying to ruin everything as I have never wanted to hurt or upset het in any way yet I find myself taking all my depression out on her.

    It came to a head on monday night when I upset her again, her parents became involved, told me to never speak to her again and was threatened with violence unless I kept away.

    I cannot explain the frustration I have felt during this time as I said I know I am being ridiculous however I just cant help feeling down and anxious about silly things, she has admitted she still loves me but finds it difficult, understandable to trust me from not doing it again.

    The next day I did go and visit my GP where I am now on medication and booked in for cognitive therapy, which has left me much more positive although it means little at this present stage as I have lost probably the best thing in my life. I'm not quite sure what to do as her parents don't seem to fully appreciate what I am going through and although I have been out or order with there daughter not allowing me to see her is tearing me apart.
  • Deleted user 8 August 2012 20:16:38
    What did you do for them to tell you that you can't see her again?

    How old are the two of you?

    Edited by Aargh. at 20:22:09 08-08-2012
  • bitch_tits_zero_nine 8 Aug 2012 20:16:38 6,654 posts
    Seen 2 days ago
    Registered 3 years ago
    Write a letter? dunno.
  • nedsnurb 8 Aug 2012 20:27:20 15 posts
    Seen 2 years ago
    Registered 6 years ago
    Im 23 and she is 22. Her parents had to calm her down because she was crying over the whole situation, and because it has happened a few times recently I think they just had enough and told her to forget it. It is my fault entirely and I cannot forgive myself for being so stupid over ridiculous things like texts etc but I feel as though it wasnt me, it was someone else.
  • Zizoo 8 Aug 2012 21:06:35 8,371 posts
    Seen 6 hours ago
    Registered 5 years ago
    Did you.... hit her?
  • MightyMouse 8 Aug 2012 23:52:20 1,133 posts
    Seen 12 hours ago
    Registered 8 years ago
    You should fully apologise and explain whether or not you'll get back together (which is something you can't fully control anyway, so try not to worry about it). You owe her that, and if you don't the regret isn't easy to live with.

    As to how to persuade her and them that you should get back together... well I'm crap at that so I'll leave it to someone else.
  • spamdangled 8 Aug 2012 23:55:18 27,355 posts
    Seen 12 hours ago
    Registered 6 years ago
    I wouldn't try and persuade her to get back with you. Just be honest, explain what you've been dealing with, and how you've been struggling to accept that you're suffering from depression but you're now receiving help for it.

    I think putting it in a letter is your best bet; texting her, trying to see her, etc will only drive her away even more.

    3DS: 4055-2781-2855 Xbox: spamdangled PSN: dark_morgan Wii U: Spamdangle Steam: spamdangled

  • nedsnurb 9 Aug 2012 07:03:50 15 posts
    Seen 2 years ago
    Registered 6 years ago
    I have already apologised for everything that's happened, like Iv said I'm gutted things have happened this way, just she was the closest person to me she had to experience the best and worst of me lately. Iv never hit her or anything like that, would never dream of it.

    We have had a good talk since and she needs some time which I understand but I feel as though her parents involvement has and is going to affect us, as they are stopping her from seeing me, and whilst writing a letter would be something I'd love to do I just can't see them allowing her to read it, as pathetic as that sounds.

    Just like to say thanks for all the advice, haven't posted a lot before and to see all the replies has been a boost. Cheers guys.

    Edited by nedsnurb at 22:08:10 09-08-2012
  • Deleted user 12 August 2012 12:44:41
    Does anyone else have a good day, achieve a few positive things, feel happy-ish, then the next day come crashing down a black despairing depression? Happened to me the other day, I had a good week, a nice Friday, and all weekend been terribly down. I probably hate myself for it but I can't stand happy people. My neighbour is a nice guy, very friendly and helpful. But.. he whistles, and him and his wife and all happy, laughy, cheerful in the garden, which I can hear from my window. It's so sad that that actually makes me angry and bitter.

    Can anyone tell me what the indicators are for bipolar? Does it run in families at all?

    Edited by Apostle at 12:45:15 12-08-2012

    Edited by Apostle at 12:46:29 12-08-2012
  • localnotail 12 Aug 2012 13:26:18 23,093 posts
    Seen 7 months ago
    Registered 6 years ago
    Bipolar doesn't usually affect you that frequently - even rapid cycling bipolar is only 4+ mood swings per year. Sounds more like an anxiety problem to me - especially given your feelings towards your neighbours. Try not to think so much about your mood - aim for a baseline mood of "not shit", value and enjoy the good days when they come and try not to linger on the really shit ones - they probably seem worse than they are after the good ones.

    If you find yourself dwelling on your mood, allow 10 minutes max to identify any possible solutions and then go and do something else, preferably out of the house, but certainly out of the room you were in. Do not feed the (internal) trolls.

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • Deleted user 12 August 2012 13:40:10
    Thank you Local, that's some good advice. I think a trip down the (new) doctors is needed next week, if just for a reason to go somewhere.

    I don't know anything about bipolar, I admit, but reading the wiki certainly seems there's a few similarities to myself.
  • kalel 12 Aug 2012 13:51:40 87,564 posts
    Seen 7 hours ago
    Registered 11 years ago
    I would seriously try to avoid self-diagnosing. Or let anyone on a gaming forum diagnose you.
  • Deleted user 12 August 2012 14:01:02
    @nedsnurb Her parents seem quite cold if they are stoping you from seeing her. You admit you have a problem and are seeking help, they should stay out of this and leave the two of you to work through this as adults. Just focus on yourself right now and let her get in touch with you when she's ready.
    I was sent to hospital for 4 months for depression and my partner only txtd me once to wish me well. Once id sorted myself out she got back in touch and we took things real slow.......we've now been together 12 years. Good look mate.
  • Deleted user 12 August 2012 14:01:46
    @Madog and Kalel. I agree.

    Just fed up feeling like this, it may not be bipolar but I want to know what it is, or is it anything? Tired of going in circles every other week.

    THanks for the support.

    Edited by Apostle at 14:03:38 12-08-2012
  • localnotail 12 Aug 2012 14:12:08 23,093 posts
    Seen 7 months ago
    Registered 6 years ago
    Apostle wrote:
    Thank you Local, that's some good advice. I think a trip down the (new) doctors is needed next week, if just for a reason to go somewhere.
    Welcome - but there are more fun places to go than doctors. The feelings of discomfort with your life are very common, I think they are normal reactions to a world where it is very easy to focus on what is missing or didn't work out to our preferred scripts. Our perspectives often get warped, and it can be hard (especially when we are solitary) not to live in our thoughts and get stuck picking scabs. Need to focus on where/who you want to be, not what has gone before.

    It's very easy to go looking for a diagnosis for an excuse for the worries and ill feelings we have, but it's a very double-edged sword. Many of the symptoms listed for any disease can be found in normal, healthy people. Obviously there are people with very debilitating conditions thdat do require medication to stabilise. But although having a label does give you a sicknote, excuses you somehow from having to try to be happy - the drugs they give you don't make the unhappiness go away, they just stop you from feeling anything, in my experience. Happiness only comes from working to change the bad strategies you have developed to cope with life, which is hard work, but possible, if you want it.

    Also need to be willing to abandon the feeling that life isn't fair, if that's something else you carry. It's the worst monkey for your back, ever, that feeling. "Everything would have been ok if X hadn't done Y to me". Maybe so. But they did, and that cannot be changed. It is helpful to find a way to accept this, put down the recriminations and step away. Nothing will prejudice your chances of future happiness more than a rucksack full of regret. One day at a time... /hippy mumbling

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • localnotail 12 Aug 2012 14:17:55 23,093 posts
    Seen 7 months ago
    Registered 6 years ago
    Sorry. Do go to the doctors and get their opinion if you are worried. I'm just very personally aware of the 8 years I lost to medication that basically put me in stasis for most of my 20s. In the end, changing my approach to life was the only thing that changed me. YMMV.

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • Deleted user 12 August 2012 14:31:26
    Madgod_Dc wrote:
    @Apostle well it doesn't sound like you have had a mental breakdown, which is what kicked it off for me. its been a tricky path to walk (most days trying to find something to live for) but i take things day by day. kinda more difficult these days though with all the government cuts, as support agencies are very helpful in managing to cope.
    Well I don't think I've had a breakdown, certainly had a very stressful last 12months, with things only settling down recently. 6 home moves in 6 years. Amongst other things of course. "most days trying to find something to live for" I can certainly empathise with you there buddy, it's a terrible way to feel. Day by day is good advice, just very hard to do some days.

    @Local. Interesting read, thanks for sharing your experience. I didn't lose my twenties to medications, but I certainly feel I lost them to another medical condition, anxiety. I certainly do carry this with me and as I get older (this will sound silly to anyone older, naturally) it gets worse thinking what a waste. It's just so hard to pull yourself up alone.
  • Deleted user 12 August 2012 14:59:49
    Yeah moving has been part of the problem, caused by other problems. It's all complicated and a mess, which is what half of my depression or mood swings stem from. I don't really have much family, just 2, and one lives abroad.

    Oh well, no choice but to grin and bear it atm.
  • spamdangled 12 Aug 2012 15:09:08 27,355 posts
    Seen 12 hours ago
    Registered 6 years ago
    Apostle wrote:
    @Madog and Kalel. I agree.

    Just fed up feeling like this, it may not be bipolar but I want to know what it is, or is it anything? Tired of going in circles every other week.

    THanks for the support.
    Bes bet is to go to your GP and ask for a referral to your local CMHT. They can then help you from there :-)

    3DS: 4055-2781-2855 Xbox: spamdangled PSN: dark_morgan Wii U: Spamdangle Steam: spamdangled

  • localnotail 12 Aug 2012 15:24:58 23,093 posts
    Seen 7 months ago
    Registered 6 years ago
    Apostle wrote:
    Oh well, no choice but to grin and bear it atm.
    Seek help, but meanwhile, try to find some things you like doing that stop you from dwelling, and do them. Regularly. It may seem trite, but hobbies can really help keep you from relentless self-examination. Read books, watch films, listen to music, play with cats, grow plants, build airfix models, paint, go for walks, swim... anything that takes you out of yourself for a bit. It all helps, IMO, if you stick at it.

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • spamdangled 12 Aug 2012 15:28:45 27,355 posts
    Seen 12 hours ago
    Registered 6 years ago
    I find cooking is a good way to both relax, be creative, and let out some aggression (through chopping vegetables, pounding dough, tenderizing meat, etc). Plus recipes that involve a lot of manual work can help to work off any pent-up energy you might have. It's also a good way to take your mind off things as you're paying attention to recipes or the food that you're preparing.

    3DS: 4055-2781-2855 Xbox: spamdangled PSN: dark_morgan Wii U: Spamdangle Steam: spamdangled

  • MadCaddy13 12 Aug 2012 15:42:53 1,917 posts
    Seen 7 hours ago
    Registered 5 years ago
    It helps me to say to myself 'it won't last forever' - its just a phase, something that most people go through and most people come out of. It's part of life
  • spamdangled 12 Aug 2012 18:02:59 27,355 posts
    Seen 12 hours ago
    Registered 6 years ago
    MadCaddy13 wrote:
    It helps me to say to myself 'it won't last forever' - its just a phase, something that most people go through and most people come out of. It's part of life
    Good outlook, but you need to believe it!

    3DS: 4055-2781-2855 Xbox: spamdangled PSN: dark_morgan Wii U: Spamdangle Steam: spamdangled

  • Deleted user 12 August 2012 19:04:19
    localnotail wrote:Seek help, but meanwhile, try to find some things you like doing that stop you from dwelling, and do them. Regularly. It may seem trite, but hobbies can really help keep you from relentless self-examination. Read books, watch films, listen to music, play with cats, grow plants, build airfix models, paint, go for walks, swim... anything that takes you out of yourself for a bit. It all helps, IMO, if you stick at it.
    Yeah I like this advice, but I always sabotage myself. Finding reasons why I can't do this, can't do that. Going to have to renew my efforts here I think.

    @DarkMorgado - The idea of cooking has always appealed to me. In fact I watch quite a few cooking shows on TV, last one being Two Fat Italians. I even bought the book, well, for my mum anyway. I've always wanted to do some cooking, I think I'll give it a go.
  • Page

    of 143 First / Last

Log in or register to reply