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50 Cent: Bulletproof Review

PlayStation 2 Review by Jim Rossignol

11 December, 2005

One of the peculiar predicaments of the habitual gamer is that we become connoisseurs of simulated violence. Of course the same could be said of cinema-lovers, but videogames aren't eulogised purely on the basis of how the violence looks. Instead we are concerned with a process, the feedback of violent images to controlling hands and thinking minds. It is, in part, our own imaginations that need to be exercised when engaged in digital combat. If it is possible to kill inventively and stylishly, and for us to feel that we are responsible for that moment of visceral thrill, then the experience is vastly more interesting, and can be recommended with the connoisseur's expert nod.

It's on this basis that we have to discuss games like 50 Cent: Bulletproof, a game that is yet another cousin in that family of games where violence is everything. It's heavy with cut-scene gloss, but the muscle beneath the elegantly tattooed exterior is a third-person, gun-heavy action sequence. 50 only occasionally gets distracted by puzzle-solving, with some buttons to press here and there, elevators to activate, power switches to throw, and so on. Bulletproof's 50 Cent is an action hero of the Vin Diesel school, with ultra-violence acting as an aperitif for the main course of cartoon gun-toting.

Following in the Fila-falls of a large swathe of contemporary games, Bulletproof is about fantasy fulfilment for the hip-hop generation. These new fantasies aren't concerned with cowboys or space opera, but with the idea of an alternate reality where the gangsta rap icons actually inhabit the fictions of rap lyrics. It's a world in which their street style puts them closer to gritty action hero than mere drug dealer with a hint of pistol. These new game avatars are anti-heroes whose raison d'etre is American-brand cool, perhaps cast against a backdrop of sweet revenge.

This is exactly how Bulletproof plays out. Initially 50 Cent is out to help his homies, but the real reason for wanting revenge is that he himself gets shot in the back by persons unknown. And that does not look cool. So, in shades of Rambo, it's personal; despite the apparently impersonal nature of all 50 Cent's challenges. As the player you are given few clues as to what is going on, and neither does 50 seem to care what he's getting into; his need is purely to make someone pay for his discomfort. But he goes along with it all anyway, because there are faceless bad dudes to kill, and because there's clearly something going on that anyone vaguely motivated would clearly want to get to the bottom of. Dudes with guns shoot at you; you shoot back. People tell you what to do; you do it.

'50 Cent: Bulletproof' Screenshot 1

50's talents as a jet-propelled hurdler are under-valued by his fans.

All of which linearity means that Bulletproof is closely related to Max Payne and vastly distant to San Andreas. It also has some parallels with the gun and melee combat of Activision's True Crime, but shares none of its larger open structure. Bulletproof is a corridor of a shooter with a hub section in which 50 Cent's housekeeping tasks can be performed. This hub is a section of street (complete with mannequins, whores and invisible walls blocking your progress in either direction along the street) where 50 can sell things he has stolen, where he can buy pills (to ease the pain) from the bent doctor, and where he can learn new death-skills from a walking dictionary of cliché that lives in a broken down theatre.

The hub fails to offer any true choices, basically consisting of a series of shopping menus which, thanks to the amount of cash which 50 picks up during his gunfights, are essentially a linear delivery system for new sets of power-ups. If Sid Meier is right, and games are "a series of interesting choices", then there is very little game here at all.

Outside the hub 50 follows up leads, looking into what has happened to various friends and contacts, while trying to pick up clues about the commandos who are making life interesting by allowing 50 to slaughter them. The method of investigation is, naturally enough, one of fighting. And 50's does not fight alone, thanks to a team of homeboyz appearing to back him up with 'Glocks (if only that stood for glockenspiel), cussing, and safe-opening talents. These extras are essentially invincible, and constitute little more personality than the mobile scenery that they really are. Sometimes they must be called upon to tinker with locks or blast things open, but they're otherwise superfluous to what Bulletproof is all about: a stream of simulated violence.

Here's why Bulletproof gets 4/10: the linear combat sequences, which dominate the play, are abysmally clumsy. This is due purely to the inadequacy of the control system. 50 is controlled using both thumb-sticks, and he takes aim via a genuine free-look method. This method of aiming is devoid of even the most subtle of auto-aim help, which means that Mr Cent is, for the most part, wildly inaccurate in his shooting. Nor can you do much to leap and dive from the path of bullets. You're forced to take something of a tanking role, running from one Kevlar vest to the next. And I mean running, since so many of the areas which 50 moves through are simply a scramble for the exit. Enemies keep on respawning, transforming the initial battles into farce as you attempt to defeat an endless tide of baddies, before finally, awkwardly, realising that you have to flee.

'50 Cent: Bulletproof' Screenshot 2

"Cap Upside The Head" has a very different meaning on the Yorkshire moors.

Far simpler than shooting your enemies is despatching them with one of 50's close combat moves, which he can perform whenever he has enough 'stamina'. These involve running towards the foe and hitting a button, which delivers a surprisingly violent cut-scene, in response to which most people are forced to laugh, thanks to the incongruity of softly spoken 50 suddenly jamming a sabre through someone's throat, or pushing a pistol into their mouth and blowing their brains out. It's cartoon violence, but a cartoon that probably got banned for a while. What this means, of course, is that control and responsibility for the acts of violence are once again lifted from your palms. You've simply set off another five-second animation, and neither your skill, nor your imagination, added anything to the process.

And so the connoisseurs will be disappointed. The more easily distracted members of the gaming audience will be pleased with Bulletproof's eminent status as a refined and marketed 50 Cent product. It does, after all, look rather beautiful. 50 himself is an exquisite model of a man (and in the game), while the cut-scenes are stylishly edited, with lashings of popular contemporary camera tricks and some pretty good acting from 50 and chums. Bulletproof reads revelations from the Bible of production but knows almost no game. It's superficially slick, with its bling'd up 50 Cent avatar and glitzy rap, but really it's a third-person shooter that stumbles well under the benchmarks set for the PS2. A host of better, brighter and more original releases in the past few years have already defeated any joy here. Sure, you can unlock a load of 50's new tunes and listen to his soundtrack in-game should you so wish, but I found it easier to flick over to MTV and think about how long it would be before I would end up in da pub.

4/10

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Comments: 1-50 of 57 in total | next 50 »

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urban
11/12/05 @ 10:23
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so 5 out of ten then?
matrim83
11/12/05 @ 10:26
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This is gonna be a train wreck.

Watch out boys here come the tards.

Edit : @ Urban 4/10 says the review.

Ehh what else did you expect.
Edited 1 times, most recently on 11/12/05 @ 10:30
Mike69_2004
11/12/05 @ 10:31
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50/10

Best. Game. Ever
azmol01
11/12/05 @ 10:36
#4
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I hate 50 cent, I really hate him, but depite this being utter crap, the chavs and all the rapper wannabees out there just love this piece of crap.

'50 cent bulletproof is wicked bruv!'
'It's bad blood'
'That game is heavy cuz'

The amount of crap I've had to listen to because of this game sickens me.
Carlo
11/12/05 @ 10:37
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Hmmm...

Another win for the 'blue-sky' campaign. It'll sell well regardless though.
matrim83
11/12/05 @ 10:41
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@gamesthing : Why not? This one is going down the X360 PS3 Revo way. And I like that comment sort of a catch phrase for these threads.

It's been a slow end to the year though. Can't think of any must play titles over the past month and a half. Last year we had GTA, Halo, HL 2 etc.

Silly question but is this one a PS2 exclusive? The aiming might work on the box.

Edited 1 times, most recently on 11/12/05 @ 10:44
sopje
11/12/05 @ 10:47
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No, not 5 out of ten. 50 cents out of 10 big ones.
So it's a half out of then!
Which was to be expected.
Aretak
11/12/05 @ 10:54
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That score'll play havoc with GameRankings.
blizeH
11/12/05 @ 11:00
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As good as Kameo then?
funkyd
11/12/05 @ 11:16
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I'm not even going to pain myself by reading the review...oh
50 cent out of 10? Must have for Christmas then ;)
Xerx3s
11/12/05 @ 11:23
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Utter shite. This game cant score this high, its based on a total twat who plays with barbies after all.

Me granny is thougher than him.

What is it with this culture that ppl deem such twats that cant even dress propperly 'cool'. Dont these ppl get that this is just a wannabe? That he is the very definition of idiot?

/should be on 'grumpy old gamers'....
Killerbee
11/12/05 @ 11:45
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The article says: "Here's why Bulletproof gets 4/10"

So is it 4 or 1/2?

(actually, not that it really matters. I wouldn't touch this with someone else's.)
WooHoo!!!
11/12/05 @ 11:56
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Should ban crap like that.
tachikoma
11/12/05 @ 12:08
#14
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50 cent? So much?!
Vin
11/12/05 @ 12:12
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The actual score STILL isn't fucking clear yet.

!?!
AaronTurner
11/12/05 @ 12:12
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Racists!
Kingsadist
11/12/05 @ 12:14
#17
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Dead babies!
ekko
11/12/05 @ 12:34
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Heh. Everyone getting worked up about the score. It's quite clear the game is below average and should be avoided.

Sadly, that won't be an easy task I suspect.
siro
11/12/05 @ 12:46
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These comments just prove how many people don't even skim a bit through the actual review, but jump just right to the score. Else you'd seen the 4/10 in the text.
floW
11/12/05 @ 13:11
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IT'S RUBBISH! GET OVER IT!
Darth_Flibble
11/12/05 @ 13:29
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I bet by monday the thread will be full of tards screaming racism and how this is the best game EAVH!!!!!!!!!!!!

I found this funny, it proves how 50 cent is such a "ladies man"
http://www.thesuperficial.com/archives/2005/12/08/50_cent_ca
nt_get_the_girls_1.html
Xerx3s
11/12/05 @ 13:35
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"AaronTurner
11-Dec-05 12:12:18 Racists!
"

Errr? What does this all have to do with racism? 0_o
asphaltcowboy
11/12/05 @ 13:49
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50 percent, surely? ;]

(Yes, I know it got 4/10 :P)
morriss
11/12/05 @ 13:50
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Days like this I'm happy I'm not 14 anymore.

/punches air in delight
Foregone Reality
11/12/05 @ 13:56
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50 cent out of £10 sterling.

Which basically means 0.336800 out of ten when converted from Euros.
Tyronne
11/12/05 @ 14:21
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Had it been a game where you could go about mutilating this prick with a collection of power tools,metal weaponry or blunt scissors then maybe I might of picked it up in 2 years when it was cheap , my I love xmas such feelings of good will.
tengu
11/12/05 @ 14:27
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OH NOES! There's no little number I can fixate on at the end of the review! Am I supposed to read the actual words now or something? Oh God no, anything but that!
the_dudefather
11/12/05 @ 14:33
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click review link -> press end key -> "huh" -> press home -> actualy read review

o.O

AaronTurner
11/12/05 @ 14:45
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Oh nevermind.
Retroid [mod]
11/12/05 @ 16:25
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"'It's bad blood'"

Right, we'll need some leeches...
TedBaker
11/12/05 @ 16:53
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"...with a face only a fist can love," Mark Lamarr. But he was referring to N-Sync or something on Buzzcocks last night. Still applicable here tho..
GitSomE UK
11/12/05 @ 17:16
#32
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If there was an olympic gold for being a knob, half dollar would get it.

We all know that 50 cent got his name due to that being the fee he charges for man favours in car parks, public toilets and other dimly lit venues, anyway, I digress.

Yet another film/song/theatre/book cash in that isn't all it's cracked up to be, what a shock to the system that is, I would never have thought it.

What I can't understand is are there really arse cakes out there that will buy this cos of half dollar being on it?

Do you really want to fund this idiot rapping about how he's in "da hood" or "windows shopping" based on the money idiots give him for kack like this?

What I want to know is does half dollar call his crew loose change? What if there were 10 of them will they call themselves 5 dollar?



ElephantMonkey
11/12/05 @ 17:22
#33
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1 per cent = 1/100
1 cent = 100
50 cent = 5000

So is this score 5000/10 ? Must be a really great game.
polar
11/12/05 @ 18:02
#34
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No. 1 cent = 1/100.

Maybe it was a mistake. Perhaps the reviewer was going to give it a 4 and then changed it to 50 cent (ie a 5/10) to be clever and forgot to change the text of the review?
Razz
11/12/05 @ 19:04
#35
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I wonder how may of you have actually played the game...
I haven't. And I'm not about to pass judgement until I do.
GitSomE UK
11/12/05 @ 19:17
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Nope, I've not played the game and I'm proud to say I never will.

Why pump money into half dollars already vast coffers so he can slag YOU yes YOU off later on in a crap sorry rap.

Run lemmings run to the half dollar money machine, fling yourselves into the sweaty embrace of half dollars media machine.

I'm sure when he's (Switching to gangsta now) Chillin wit da bitches and da playas, sippin crystal in my 2mil crib he'll be thinkin 'bout all the leetle homees out dere playin wit da five O game. Five O sayz to you homez you are da bomb. But don't think bout comin round cos I'll pop a cap in yo ass nigga.

So there you have it worship the half dollar if you want... suckers!
Edited 1 times, most recently on 11/12/05 @ 19:18
Xerx3s
11/12/05 @ 19:31
#37
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Razz, im not passing judgement on the game. Im passing judgement on the egocentric weenie who is central thingy to this game and thereby condemming this game....ow...wait....I AM judging this game. Ahhh well, shit happens.

/doesnt feel bad about it.
grimboy
11/12/05 @ 19:34
#38
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Blimey!

It's pretty obvious not many people like Mr 50 here.....which is why the game is getting a pasting,i reckon, good review though, it seemed unbiased and just dealt with the gameplay..which is good.

We all have played Max Payne,yes?....Seems to me there's not much difference between the two except the main character...but everyone loved ol Max,strange eh?

Personally neither games are my cup o' tea(gettin on a bit,too violent etc) but i find it amusing how one game is considered fantastic and the other utter shite,when both are based on the same thing.....killing.

/scratches head.....
GitSomE UK
11/12/05 @ 19:48
#39
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@ grimboy

Max Payne didn't feature an arsehole character who is obviously somebody else's butt puppet.

BTW did I mention the Five O does man to man favours for a small sum of money, 50 cents I believe. That's the word out in da hood.


rauper [staff]
11/12/05 @ 19:56
#40
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Score edited so it is clearer... Bit of a Sunday experiment there!
smelly
11/12/05 @ 20:23
#41
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Score edited so it is clearer... Bit of a Sunday experiment there!


*sigh* If readers couldnt tell roughly what the score was after reading the review, then i'm a tad concerned for the type of people playing games nowadays..
CosmonautX
11/12/05 @ 20:36
#42
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We all have played Max Payne,yes?....Seems to me there's not much difference between the two except the main character...but everyone loved ol Max,strange eh?

Possibly because there's quite a difference between a violent game based around a fictional character and a violent game based around a real-life figure with a (alleged?) history of violence?
grimboy
11/12/05 @ 20:54
#43
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Good Point..

Still think the game is being judged on whether or not you like 50cent ....but there u go...
Edited 1 times, most recently on 11/12/05 @ 20:55
kangarootoo
11/12/05 @ 21:32
#44
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Sounds to me from the review that this game genre has similarties to Max Payne, but the overal quality of game is worse. I would suggest that is why people are OK with Max Payne and not with this.

I personally couldn't give a hoot about 50 cent's life or lessons. If this game was entertaining I might well play it. But it sounds like it isn't. Simple as that.
darkmistx
11/12/05 @ 21:57
#45
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So, game of the year then?
foamy
11/12/05 @ 22:11
#46
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I want the 50cent/10 :(

I heard 50cent (the actual dood, who says he's a singer, or whatever those doods with a wrong-directioned cap are) is gay, is this correct?
Edited 1 times, most recently on 11/12/05 @ 22:13
Stickman
11/12/05 @ 23:11
#47
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"Days like this I'm happy I'm not 14 anymore.

/punches chav in delight"

Fixed that for ya morriss! :)

edit: I heard a rumour that Fiddy goes down on blokes in service station restrooms. Anyone know if that's right?
Edited 1 times, most recently on 11/12/05 @ 23:14
tengu
11/12/05 @ 23:16
#48
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"Score edited so it is clearer... Bit of a Sunday experiment there!"

Shouldn't have changed it imo. It was a fictional score for a fictional character in a fictional storyline played by a fictional rapper :/

Seemed rather apt.

Take that Vanilla Ice.
Edited 1 times, most recently on 11/12/05 @ 23:16
Talha
12/12/05 @ 03:53
#49
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One sentence I wanted to read but EG were too chicken to print:

"Here's why Bulletproof gets 4/10: It features 50 Cent"

@Stickman: All I can say is, these folks set consistently low standards, and then fail to meet them.

;-)
Edited 1 times, most recently on 12/12/05 @ 06:20
richardtock
12/12/05 @ 06:30
#50
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i think the 50 cent out of ten worked well.

If you like "fiddy", you will most probably like this. Also, it's VERY 50 Cent. You know,everything he stands for. Cartoon violence, gorlyfing (i wish i couold spell) drug dealing and the street life style as something aspirational.

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