In the top left corner of a screen is a giant percentage counter. It is counting down from 100. I have no idea why. In the bottom left corner is a mini-map with glowing yellow and blue dots. I have no idea what these represent. In the bottom right corner is a calorie counter, a picture of a chicken and the number 3. No idea.
In the middle of the screen, a tiny Pomeranian doggy in a woolly red jumper is feeding on the body of a rabbit. The Pomeranian takes a few steps back from the carcass and a trio of vultures swoop in. Before they can begin to feast, the Pomeranian pounces, tearing them to bloody shreds. The word "FINEHUNT" appears on the screen.
This is why I have come to Tokyo.
This is Tokyo Jungle, the game which Sony announced earlier this month. I instantly knew I would like it. Who wouldn't like a game set in post-apocalyptic Japan in which you can make a porcupine fight an elephant?
Unfortunately, you don't get to try out that particular scenario in the demo playable at the Tokyo Game Show. You do get to try out what appears to be the first level, playing as the aforementioned Pomeranian doggy.
The game is side-scrolling - from right to left, unusually - and presented in 2D. You control the doggy using the left stick, and you can jump up, down and between different planes in the background. The scene is your typical Tokyo street as it would look after an apocalypse, complete with crumbling buildings, abandoned vehicles, fallen trees and greenery sprouting from cracks in the tarmac.
A particularly bushy bit of this greenery provides cover for the Pomeranian's first attack. Following the on-screen instructions, I press R1 to creep up on the unsuspecting rabbit on the other side of the bush. Then it's L1 to target and triangle to attack.
The rabbit doesn't have a chance. The Pomeranian leaps into the air with all the grace of a tiny, furry, homicidal ballet dancer. He seizes Flopsy by the throat and snaps her neck like a glass chopstick. A splash of bright red blood oozes across the tarmac. It makes Watership Down look like a heartwarming romantic comedy.
I race on through the level, leaping over rusty trucks, bounding along window ledges and despatching rabbits with ease. Then I encounter a more formidable enemy: a chicken. As it turns out, he doesn't present much more of a challenge.
Around the next corner, however, is a cat. He squares up to the Pomeranian, hissing and arching his back. The game instructs me to weaken him with a bit of L1 + circle action, then finish him off by pummelling the triangle button.
At this point, the nice Japanese girl guarding the demo shows me how to exploit the vultures - how they'll descend if you take a step back from the carcass, and how you can jump on them when they do, resulting in a chain attack combo boost. I wonder what the nice Japanese girl is going to tell her Mum about her day at work.
Now I'm facing off with an even bigger cat. Defeating him requires even more pressings of the circle button and even more hammering of triangle. But this huge, hissing feline beast is no match for my tiny, jumper-wearing dog. Take that, you big pussy.
And with that, the demo is over. I am sad. I wanted to see who the Pomeranian would battle next. I wanted to find out what the percentage counter is for. I wanted to know who would win in a fight between a porcupine and an elephant. But none of that will be revealed for a while yet, and I can't wait.
I'm not the only one, either. Don't make the mistake of thinking I was the only person keen to play Tokyo Jungle, what with me being a silly old Westerner who likes a bit of wacky Japanese nonsense and all games about animals. Here's the evidence for the defence:
At Sony's TGS booth, there is a bloke standing by each demo pod holding a sign. On these signs is written how long you will have to wait to play each game, according to the length of the queue. Here's what it said on the signs when I dropped by to play Tokyo Jungle:
Castlevania: Lords of Shadow - 0 mins
MotorStorm: Apocalypse - 10 mins
Vanquish - 20 mins
Tokyo Jungle - 25 mins
So there you have it. Shiny series reboots, blockbuster racers and brand new shooters from legendary developers are officially less popular than a game about a dog in a woolly jumper murdering cats.
Yes, Tokyo Jungle is gratuitous, ridiculous, shallow and stupid. It's exactly the kind of game I've flown half-way round the world to see. Playing the demo was worth the 12-hour plane ride, never mind the 25 minute wait, so here's hoping the finished game is even better. And lets you pit a lion against a shark.
Tokyo Jungle will be released in Japan later this year.