Blades of Steel (Virtual Console)

Virtual Console Roundup

Virtual Console Roundup

Blades of Steel, Monster Lair and Skate or Die.

With the Wii still in short supply, this year I'll be doing the same thing I did last Christmas. I'll put my sought-after console in a sturdy plastic case and take it to a nearby children's hospital. For two glorious hours on Christmas morning, I'll allow these miserable pallid waifs to look at my Wii from a distance of no less than three metres, and imagine the fun they could have with such a device, were their wretched parents able to sit all day on the internet waiting to see which retailers have the magic white brick in stock.

Then I'll hold a raffle - just Ł1 a ticket, for petrol money - and the winner will be able to approach the Wii and, wearing a pair of thick gloves (these kids are sick), after all), caress its smooth plastic skin for a whole minute while their cellmates gaze on in bitter envy.

Then I'll pack up my Wii, toss some fun-sized snacks over my shoulder and head home to spend the rest of the day carefully cleaning both myself and my console with a gallon of disinfectant.

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