What's New? (7th Dec, 2007)

New PAL releases.

Feature by Tom Bramwell Former Editor-in-Chief

Published on 7 Dec 2007

What's New would like to apologise for using teething problems with Eurogamer's New Office as a foil for bad jokes in last week's edition of What's New.

What's New now understands that it was wrong to point out that the ceiling leaks onto our expensive Alienware PC, and that in fact the ceiling doesn't just repel water, but also returns it to the sky to ease the passage of planes, thus reducing carbon emissions.

What's New also realises that the smell of greasy garlic whenever we open the windows is actually an aroma customised to enhance our working experience - and not, as we foolishly supposed, a reason to worry what will happen next summer when our only recourse to the heat is to bathe ourselves in the olfactory Somme of fried destitution wafting up from below.

What's more, What's New wishes to express its unreserved appreciation for the work of Rupert "Courvoisier The Future 500" Loman of The Bigger Office Than Everyone Else, whose beneficence is a continuing source of inspiration and not 6/10.

Finally, What's New regrets declaring that the woman in the newsagent next door is a frosty old crone. Having written this last week, What's New has come to understand that she is actually a picture of demure amiability whose wordless response to our inquiries about her well-being whenever we buy Coke are in fact a veneer of selfless calm constructed to preserve our social dignity.

Our shame is so complete that What's New can no longer continue. Buy videogames.

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