This week, our pals at Blizzard gave us a great big orc fistful of beta keys for the upcoming World of Warcraft expansion, Battle for Azeroth to give to EG readers.
We didn't want to just GIVE them away though - that would be too easy. So we set a little creative writing task. We asked you guys to write up a short social media bio for either your own WoW character, or a NPC from the world.
And MAN, you guys really ran with that. We received over 6,500 entries in just a few days. Sure, some of those were just copied and pasted character bios from the WoW wiki (no keys for you guys), but a great many were actually really good! So good in fact, that I wanted to share some of our favourites with you below.
So, if Twitter existed in Azeroth (as if that world wasn't bleak enough), here's what some of the profiles might look like:
Your run-of-the-mill shaman. Jack of all Trades, Master of none. Thrall Fanboy. Most active poster in the "Nerf Paladin Bubbles" Forum.
StephenOrkins from Orgrima born and raised. Slaying scorpions is where I spent most of my days. Maxing my strength outside Razor Hill. Smashing, bashing and swinging for the kill. I got to level 12 and my master got bored. Told me to go to the barons and kill for the horde!
Illidan, horned child of destiny seeks likeminded champions to save Azeroth. Likes: scars, Tyrande, the skull of Gul'Dan, the Nightwell, being prepared Dislikes: not being prepared, the Tomb of Sargeras, Maiev Shadowsong.
Gul'Dan | Orc | He/Him | Taken by Sargeras (@TitansSuck) 😊❤ | Republican
Rob van Leeuwen
Dangerously dreamy druid does decent job delaying dungeoneers' death dates.
@SylvanasWindrunner: Dark Lady of the Forsaken and Warchief of the Horde. I burn trees and raise corpses as hobbies. Ridding the world of life since 2010. I love my sisters to death... and beyond ❤
He's a jolly old orc, whose name is Thorkh. He likes his hat and Buddy, a fez wearing ape who's not afraid to vape. Interests include hunting humans and draenei alike, which he chases on his motorbike. Please give Thorkh a vacation, he's even invested in a new beach wear creation
Wanted: Ranged DPS to go back in time with me. This is not a joke. P.O. Box 91 Ironforge, Dun Morogh, EK. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not guaranteed. I have only done this once before.
Hunter with a quick shot and quicker wit. Not interested in your quests for glory. Most likely talking to her pet instead of you. An elf in elf's clothing.
Ariela is currently taking time off from raiding to expand her social media presence in the build up to a new challenge this Summer - join me on Twitter and Twitch for Brightpaw grooming tips, potential Druid specs and more!
Are Bře Pedersen
Swashbuckling, sneaky Sentinel. Leather enthusiast. Ask me about my sword collection. Yes I know the dance, no you may not see it
And finally, a special shout out to Brian here for at least being honest:
I just want a key and have no imagination; it was ruined by video games.