School ground rumours

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  • Dirtbox 24 Jan 2007 16:39:38 77,633 posts
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    The bollocking thread has somehow teleported my broken memory back to the days of yore and a couple of those rumours have just re-emmerged.

    Like a couple of pikey kids who were supposedly caught bumming behind the terrapins - poor bastards had to leave the school because of that.

    Anyone remember any classics?

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  • KTM 24 Jan 2007 16:40:56 1,674 posts
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    I once watched the pikey tomboy grot back knock herself out by headbutting a classroom wall in a fit of anger.

    LOL

    /The skanky cow

    EDIT: An EXTERIOR wall.

    Edited by KTM at 16:41:25 24-01-2007
  • Lutz 24 Jan 2007 16:41:26 48,854 posts
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    Guy took sexy girl up the dartford. Was hospitalised due to corn getting stuck behind foreskin.
  • w00t 24 Jan 2007 16:42:22 11,062 posts
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    The huge ginger kid allegedly caught trying to have sex with himself.

    At the age of 12.

    The day charity died - NEVER FORGET

    (the mic was OK in the end)

  • RubyRed 24 Jan 2007 16:42:55 4,303 posts
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    A bloke in my year at school called Christopher fingered a cat, so I heard. It stuck with him until the day he left.

    Edit: The rumour, not the cat.

    Edited by RubyRed at 16:43:38 24-01-2007
  • markypants 24 Jan 2007 16:42:57 2,702 posts
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    Kid on his 17th birthday got stripped ouitside assembly only to reveal he hadn't started pubity. Boys that did it (I wasn't one of them) were expelled.
  • Deleted user 24 January 2007 16:43:03
    Vega is Chun Li's dad!
  • markypants 24 Jan 2007 16:44:31 2,702 posts
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    Another guy inserted cocktail sausages up a girl who was drunk on her birthday... Apparently she (due to physical girly hymen things) lost her viginity to a sausage that night.
  • smoothpete 24 Jan 2007 16:45:57 31,441 posts
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    A girl was alleged to have spread dog food on her minge and let the family pet lick her clean. I don't think anyone believed it really, but a great one nonetheless
  • espadachin 24 Jan 2007 16:46:26 2,210 posts
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    yep, in primary school three boys from my class were in the bogs plotting something, i found them and told the whole school they were wanking eachother off, they never lived it down.
    then two of them came to my secondary school, i told eveyone the school, they both left. one even moved out of london.
    i actually saw one of the guys a few years later, he (understandably) wanted to lamp me one as he was still getting shit from people about it....
    /not proud :)
  • Whizzo 24 Jan 2007 16:47:30 43,057 posts
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    The rumour in my all boys comprehensive that at least 50% of the PE teachers were gay.

    I think that was probably true, they were 100% Northern in a Hampshire school though.

    edit: come to think of it, did anyone have a PE teacher that wasn't a Northerner?

    Edited by Whizzo at 16:48:07 24-01-2007

    This space left intentionally blank.

  • ecureuil 24 Jan 2007 16:49:11 76,644 posts
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    smoothpete wrote:
    A girl was alleged to have spread dog food on her minge and let the family pet lick her clean. I don't think anyone believed it really, but a great one nonetheless

    Half of all women have tried that! :D And I hear that peanut butter works the best.
  • manuel_garcia 24 Jan 2007 16:49:41 4,079 posts
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    smoothpete wrote:
    A girl was alleged to have spread dog food on her minge and let the family pet lick her clean. I don't think anyone believed it really, but a great one nonetheless

    Thats a proper schoolground urban legend that one, it got stuck to numerous less-attractive girls in our year which i'm sure has probably given them a complex to this very day :)
  • Lutz 24 Jan 2007 16:51:11 48,854 posts
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    Whizzo wrote:
    edit: come to think of it, did anyone have a PE teacher that wasn't a Northerner?
    Or gay?

    One of our PE Teachers got fired for walking into the lads changing rooms starkers, and wafting his tackling saying "No need to be shy, we're all men here aren't we?!"
  • coastal 24 Jan 2007 16:52:47 5,382 posts
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    two for you, both true no rumours.

    lad pierced one of his jewels with a foot long splinter as he slid down a bannister in the art department. Walked all the way across school, dripping blood, to see his tutor. Only to be told to stop being a prat and get yourself down to A&E.

    and Mick Jackamellie, you will be always be in my memories for the best RE lesson ever. He was thick as shit and sat at the back of the class. One day he pulled a WWII grenade out of his bag, yelled 'GRENAAAADE!", pulled the fucking pin and rolled it down the middle of the class. It rolled to a stop at the feet of Mrs Hamilton, the most quiet, softly spoken nice, aged 104, person that i think i've ever met. She looked down and knew it was time to put that RE faith to the test.

    That was her last year at our school.

    bf3: sergeant_shaftoe

  • afray 24 Jan 2007 16:53:15 2,251 posts
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    Lutz wrote:
    Whizzo wrote:
    edit: come to think of it, did anyone have a PE teacher that wasn't a Northerner?
    Or gay?

    One of our PE Teachers got fired for walking into the lads changing rooms starkers, and wafting his tackling saying "No need to be shy, we're all men here aren't we?!"

    o_0

    Mine was a gruff welsh rugby player, who really couldn't stand kids, teaching, or any sport but rugby.

    Contact rugby in the snow for the ultimate fucking lose.
  • grantf 24 Jan 2007 16:53:25 168 posts
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    Lesbian French and Music Teachers in Guitar Cupboard Lick Out Shocker!!

    Funny at the time, but my dad seems to have "cured" the music teacher and she is now my wicked stepmother...
  • RubyRed 24 Jan 2007 16:55:52 4,303 posts
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    FluffyTucker wrote:
    RubyRed wrote:
    A bloke in my year at school called Christopher fingered a cat, so I heard. It stuck with him until the day he left.

    Edit: The rumour, not the cat.

    Pissing myself here laughing, I didn't read your edit fast enough :D

    Oops :D
  • The_Aardvark 24 Jan 2007 16:56:40 3,063 posts
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    Post deleted at 16:57:36 24-01-2007
  • The_Aardvark 24 Jan 2007 16:56:40 3,063 posts
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    afray wrote:
    Lutz wrote:
    Whizzo wrote:
    edit: come to think of it, did anyone have a PE teacher that wasn't a Northerner?
    Or gay?

    One of our PE Teachers got fired for walking into the lads changing rooms starkers, and wafting his tackling saying "No need to be shy, we're all men here aren't we?!"

    o_0

    Mine was a gruff welsh rugby player, who really couldn't stand kids, teaching, or any sport but rugby.

    Contact rugby in the snow for the ultimate fucking lose.

    One of ours was in the Nation of Islam. Started off by organising a series of black history month events, ended up fired.

    Edited by The_Aardvark at 16:57:30 24-01-2007
  • Hunam 24 Jan 2007 16:59:58 20,674 posts
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    We just had loads of silly ones, the best one was that my exploit of engaging two girls in foreplay at a party, that one rocked!


    Mostly because it was true :)

    Then there was Nathan no balls, the rumour was that his parents didn't want to be grandparents so arranged for larry and curley to leave the premises. The name stuck with him i believe, least it was when i left.
  • ecureuil 24 Jan 2007 17:00:43 76,644 posts
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    We had rumours of certain teachers being gay (both male and female) there were rumours of which teachers were shagging who, and also that certain teachers were alcoholics. At least some of them were true.
  • afray 24 Jan 2007 17:02:51 2,251 posts
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    I swear I once saw my head of maths feel up my head of english. While I was in the room. They thought they were being very clever by using lots of double entendres, thinking I was too young to know what was really going on.

    I was 14 for fuck's sake!
  • Hunam 24 Jan 2007 17:10:48 20,674 posts
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    The gay PE teacher thing is so true, ours used to insist we use the showers after PE, and stood there watching us all go through.

    It stopped when we got to year 10, as one tried to make us use it after a really hot day doing running, he withdrew the order on fear for his life, as im sure he wanted to be surrounded by 30 lads threatening to kill him if he didn't leave immediately.

    Actully, they gave up doing the gay antic thing in year 8, just tried it again in year 10, which is silly as by then as the fear of being told off just wasn't there anymore.

    Edited by Hunam at 17:12:30 24-01-2007
  • djchump 24 Jan 2007 17:12:08 4,463 posts
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    afray wrote:
    ...Contact rugby in the snow for the ultimate fucking lose.
    Pah - snow's nice and soft you wuss.
    It's when the snow's been cleared and all that's left is the rock solid cold hard ground, with frozen up bits that had previously been churned up mud so now it's all frozen, hard, cold *and* spiky - *that's* when it hurts :-P
  • christourlord 24 Jan 2007 17:12:15 2,498 posts
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    My mate supposedly caught our geography teacher having a wank in his car.
  • Dirtbox 24 Jan 2007 17:13:33 77,633 posts
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    Whizzo wrote:
    The rumour in my all boys comprehensive that at least 50% of the PE teachers were gay.
    Isn't that completely normal?

    We had a PE teacher who was nicknamed Bendy, we thought it was because of the obvious, but it was actually to do with a curviture in his spine.

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  • nickthegun 24 Jan 2007 17:15:42 59,305 posts
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    A lad put his dick in a milk bottle, got a boner that wouldnt go down and had to be taken to A+E by his mum.

    A girl was caught by another girl wanking off a horse in a stable and was christened with the name Mrs Ed for the rest of school (and maybe the rest of her natural life).

    A lad was turned gay by seeing his sister getting taken up the arse , bent over a motorbike in their garage.

    A girl once told our head of year that she wanted him to have sex with her and if he didnt she would tell everyone he touched her up.

    There was a massive rumour going round that a girl in our class was pregnant. turned out the retard had just been groped about a bit and was simply oblivious to the workings of the human body. She burst into tears and had to be told by our PSE teacher that it was impossible to get pregnant after getting fingered.

    Heh....theres probably more than that. the funny thing is I cant remember any of these peoples surnames....

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    He totally called it

  • NewYork 24 Jan 2007 17:16:11 24,838 posts
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    Hunam wrote:
    The gay PE teacher thing is so true, ours used to insist we use the showers after PE, and stood there watching us all go through.

    It stopped when we got to year 10, as one tried to make us use it after a really hot day doing running, he withdrew the order on fear for his life, as im sure he wanted to be surrounded by 30 lads threatening to kill him if he didn't leave immediately.
    If I could go back in time, I'd tell my younger self that you don't have to put up with PE teachers. I wish I hadn't been so scared and had just scived from all the PE classes - nothing bad would have happened if I had.
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