Match.com and Online Dating Page 310

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  • Deckard1 18 Sep 2012 10:34:13 27,712 posts
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    The more I think about it the weirder it is actually. Who the hell does that? How old is he 10?

    Hush you ponce

  • sport 18 Sep 2012 10:47:51 12,694 posts
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    Deckard1 wrote:
    The more I think about it the weirder it is actually. Who the hell does that? How old is he 10?
    Tell her you'll surprise her on the first date.
    Pick her up and drive to the local Lido.
    Stop the car, take out bikini and twirl on your finger.
    Little smile and raise one eyebrow.

    Can't see any problem with that.
  • Deleted user 18 September 2012 10:58:56
    If he's a downy then it could be cute. When he gets out of the water in front of her it would be like the moon rising.
  • mrpon 18 Sep 2012 11:45:04 28,760 posts
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    Benno testing the water (pun intended) with the "mate" post.

    Give yourself 5 or gig, you're worth it.

  • Benno 18 Sep 2012 11:54:47 9,843 posts
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    It is a bit weird isn't it. Maybe a third or fourth date thing. I still think if pulled off correctly it could be a winner. Plus you know you have a confident girl who doesn't take herself too seriously if she just says fuck it and goes to the public pool with you.
  • Deckard1 18 Sep 2012 11:58:24 27,712 posts
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    Did you kill this girl Benno? It's ok you're among friends here.

    Hush you ponce

  • Vortex808 18 Sep 2012 12:13:25 7,073 posts
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    Deckard1 wrote:
    Did you kill this girl Benno? It's ok you're among friends here.
    'Kill' is such a harsh word for 'pinned down and dry humped under the water until she accidentally drowned'.

    :-P

    edit: although dry-humped doesn't really work in this instance.

    Edited by Vortex808 at 12:14:09 18-09-2012
  • RobTheBuilder 18 Sep 2012 12:33:38 6,521 posts
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    Are you sure she didn't mean a game of pool at the local snooker hall?
  • Benno 18 Sep 2012 12:43:23 9,843 posts
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    glol
  • Deckard1 18 Sep 2012 12:47:42 27,712 posts
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    I took my current girlfriend to the soft play area on our first date. We played WWF wrestling. She got me in a figure four leg lock but I managed to reverse it. Then I clothes lined her and kicked her in the fanny, before choking her out with a million dollar dream. We then went for a Wimpy.

    Hush you ponce

  • RobTheBuilder 18 Sep 2012 12:53:13 6,521 posts
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    Every first proper date should be interesting enough to make a great anecdote when you get older...
  • FWB 18 Sep 2012 22:24:14 44,235 posts
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    Swimming pool? WTF? Mind you, it worked. Can't imagine it would do for most people, unless you've known the girl for a while.
  • Syrette 18 Sep 2012 22:29:46 43,306 posts
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    Benno wrote:
    My mate took his now girlfriend swimming for a first date. I thought it was an excellent idea.

    While she was at the shallow end, he dived in at the deep end and swam an entire length under water and came up out of the water very slowly and controlled, right in front of her face - think martin sheen at the end of apocalypse now emerging out the water.

    She loved it.
    /cringe

  • Zomoniac 24 Sep 2012 19:48:51 7,826 posts
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    Went to post something through my ex's letterbox earlier today. In my eagerness to get away quickly I managed to get my hand stuck in the letterbox and then elbow myself in the face retrieving it. Lovely walk home in torrential rain with blood pouring down my hand and face. I always was the smooth type.
  • Load_2.0 24 Sep 2012 19:51:33 19,148 posts
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    You know what people like to recieve hand delivered from their ex?

    NOTHING.
  • FWB 24 Sep 2012 19:52:32 44,235 posts
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    I like it when they steal your mail. That's fun.
  • Zomoniac 24 Sep 2012 19:54:57 7,826 posts
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    Heh. It was entirely innocent. It's her daughter's third birthday this week, I ordered something a few weeks ago before everything went to shit. It arrived last Thursday and since then I've been trying to decide if I should pass it on or just bin it. I opted for the former, I may regret it, but I'm sure it will be fine.
  • FWB 24 Sep 2012 19:55:51 44,235 posts
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    Razorblades?
  • mrpon 24 Sep 2012 20:03:32 28,760 posts
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    Bit lost here, you were posting shit through her letterbox?

    /euphemism

    Give yourself 5 or gig, you're worth it.

  • neilka 24 Sep 2012 20:05:26 15,849 posts
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    Zomoniac wrote:
    Went to post something through my ex's letterbox earlier today. In my eagerness to get away quickly I managed to get my hand stuck in the letterbox and then elbow myself in the face retrieving it. Lovely walk home in torrential rain with blood pouring down my hand and face. I always was the smooth type.

    A map is like comparing velocity and speed.

  • cheeky_prawnking 24 Sep 2012 20:06:03 4,457 posts
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    I am back on Plenty of Fish, my god it has been nearly 4 years and I didn't know what to put about myself. Scribbled together an a4 page of shit eventually.

    Why the fuck is everyone a non smoker nowadays? I want to give up soon but seems a waste of time chatting to smoker and non smokers. Will wait till I stop, the non smokers are fitter tbh.
  • cheeky_prawnking 24 Sep 2012 20:07:18 4,457 posts
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    Also the desperate chubby ones have got worse in looks.
  • Deleted user 24 September 2012 20:09:10
    Is Zomaniac insane?

    The chubby ones are probably the same ones from a few years ago that are still there, apart from the handful that got snapped up for crackling/feeders.
  • FWB 24 Sep 2012 20:14:37 44,235 posts
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    There's a documentary in here. Attenborough style.
  • cheeky_prawnking 24 Sep 2012 20:16:35 4,457 posts
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    Nah, my ex was chubby she could pull it off though (boom boom), she had a cute face, and was tall so the being chubby didn't mean going sideways through doors.

    If I could find someone else like that I would be happy, nothing better than a chubster sat on your face whilst you lick her out.
  • M83J01P97 24 Sep 2012 20:20:42 6,595 posts
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    Plenty of Fish you say? Good luck finding someone 'real' on there. I've heard three different stories from three separate people over the past few weeks about meeting people off that site only for them to look totally different from their profiles. I know it's an age old joke about internet dating, but it seems to be worryingly common on that site.
  • Deleted user 24 September 2012 20:20:45
    How chubby?
  • Zomoniac 24 Sep 2012 20:22:34 7,826 posts
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    Not insane, just quirky.

    Although the last few weeks I'm starting to think the scale might've tipped. So quite probably.
  • mrpon 24 Sep 2012 20:22:49 28,760 posts
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    Aargh. wrote:
    How chubby?
    Did he get his hand stuck in her letterbox?

    Give yourself 5 or gig, you're worth it.

  • cheeky_prawnking 24 Sep 2012 20:23:50 4,457 posts
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    well waist was 20-22, never found out her weight tbh. Could probably suffocate under her if she wanted me to though. Which would kinda appeal in a perverse way.

    Twice I have been engaged of PoF so can't say the scare stories have applied to me, although I can well believe thats the case with online dating.
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