Does anyone know any really GOOD jokes? Page 45

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  • RobTheBuilder 23 Jan 2012 22:32:56 6,521 posts
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    @PazJohnMitch There is no word for hello in Chinese. Wai is pretty much "Yes?"
  • PhoenixFlames 23 Jan 2012 22:37:45 9,223 posts
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    PazJohnMitch wrote:
    hello_fi wrote:
    What has two wings and a halo?



    A Chinese telephone.

    WING WING....HALO!!!

    Chinese people say "WAI" when they answer
    the phone.
    Not when you ring the local takeaway they don't.

    PSN - phoenix1flames

  • RobTheBuilder 23 Jan 2012 22:42:53 6,521 posts
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    So what you really meant was "A telephone in the UK owned by someone with a Chinese background"

    ??

    Also, it's not the telephone itself that says it. So technically the joke is wrong twofold.

    :D

    Edited by RobTheBuilder at 22:43:29 23-01-2012
  • mrpon 23 Jan 2012 23:14:38 29,393 posts
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    Sounds like you're wanting the Harrow joke.

    Give yourself 5 or gig, you're worth it.

  • Kosmoz 2 Feb 2012 23:06:59 7,734 posts
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    Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate his dinner before it was cool.

    Every girl I ever kissed I was thinking of a pro footballer.

  • heyyo 2 Feb 2012 23:13:06 14,371 posts
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    On the last page kos mate
  • Kosmoz 2 Feb 2012 23:16:02 7,734 posts
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    Poop

    Every girl I ever kissed I was thinking of a pro footballer.

  • NOSAVIOUR 2 Feb 2012 23:17:19 2,809 posts
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    EG's reviews...
  • tombo 7 Feb 2012 15:34:51 2,100 posts
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    NOSAVIOUR wrote:
    EG's reviews...
    ZING!







    _
  • OmniaVincitAmor 7 Feb 2012 15:45:53 1,582 posts
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    Ka-blamo wrote:
    How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

    Put it in a microwave until its Bill Withers.
    Fucking brilliant. Stolen :)

    Defeat is not getting knocked down, but refusing to get back up.

  • Trowel 7 Feb 2012 18:46:19 18,016 posts
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    The people of Dubai don't like the Flintstones, but Abu Dhabi do.
  • localnotail 14 Feb 2012 17:55:39 23,093 posts
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    I heard Mick Hucknall is in custody - Very strange circumstances - he was rather shockingly arrested for having sex with an underage rabbit.

    Apparently he was holding back the ears and the bunny was too tight to mention.

    (sorry)

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • Deleted user 17 February 2012 17:29:54
    CosmicFuzz wrote:
    I hear Jeremy Beadle's got a massive hand.

    But on the other hand, it's a cock!

    Or something.
    Best joke ever.
  • muttler 17 Feb 2012 17:33:57 4,228 posts
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    Did you hear about the firework that didn't go off?

    It was bang out of order.
  • bladdard 17 Feb 2012 21:09:28 1,009 posts
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    Post deleted
  • Deleted user 27 February 2012 18:57:12
    Just came up with this off the top of my head.

    Which rapper makes more money from his shitty perfumes than his shitty music?

    50 Scents.

    :/
  • Madder-Max 27 Feb 2012 19:37:54 11,679 posts
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    Stompy wrote:
    Just came up with this off the top of my head.

    Which rapper makes more money from his shitty perfumes than his shitty music?

    50 Scents.

    :/
    very good. yes yes.

    /applauds

    99 problems and being ginger is one

  • neilka 27 Feb 2012 20:12:52 16,445 posts
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    Which rapper always carries a large supply of breath-freshing menthol sweets?

    50 Smints.

    BAAANG!!!!! EXPLOTION!!!!!

  • gammonbanter 27 Feb 2012 22:15:44 1,515 posts
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    Which rapper is a good mate to have when going camping?

    50 tents

    Edited by gammonbanter at 04:40:59 28-02-2012
  • binster 28 Feb 2012 09:39:21 542 posts
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    Which rapper is a good mate to have when you want a massive army to attack Isengard?

    50 Ents
  • Dant 28 Feb 2012 09:42:34 894 posts
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    Which rapper would you call if you needed good air circulation in a commercial or industrial office or building?

    50 Air Vents
  • Ka-blamo 28 Feb 2012 09:55:41 7,597 posts
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    Which rapper overestimated what was expected of him on pancake day?

    50 Lent(s)
  • Ka-blamo 28 Feb 2012 09:55:41 7,597 posts
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    Post deleted
  • Ka-blamo 28 Feb 2012 09:57:11 7,597 posts
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    Which rapper always holds the door open for a woman?

    50 Gent
  • Ka-blamo 28 Feb 2012 09:58:22 7,597 posts
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    Which rapper is a bad driver?

    Eminem!......nah 50 dents :)
  • binster 28 Feb 2012 15:32:04 542 posts
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    Which rapper isn't here any more?

    50 Went
  • X201 28 Feb 2012 15:55:40 15,682 posts
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    Post deleted
  • Nasty 28 Feb 2012 16:04:57 4,749 posts
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    Which rapper loves himself some South East England county action?

    DICKJOBBYFACE
  • billythekid 28 Feb 2012 16:10:01 11,303 posts
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    Which rapper got a visit from the school wag woman?

    50 absents
  • Deleted user 28 February 2012 20:02:45
    Q: Who managed to be a high-profile criminal AND a world-famous ghetto-stylin' music superstar?

    A: Jack the Rapper.
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