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Does anyone know any really GOOD jokes? • Page 45

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  • RobTheBuilder 23 Jan 2012 22:32:56 5,650 posts
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    @PazJohnMitch There is no word for hello in Chinese. Wai is pretty much "Yes?"
  • PhoenixFlames 23 Jan 2012 22:37:45 8,402 posts
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    PazJohnMitch wrote:
    hello_fi wrote:
    What has two wings and a halo?



    A Chinese telephone.

    WING WING....HALO!!!

    Chinese people say "WAI" when they answer
    the phone.
    Not when you ring the local takeaway they don't.

    I drive an automatic 'cause I'm too cool to change gears.

    Xbox Live - phoenix1flames

  • RobTheBuilder 23 Jan 2012 22:42:53 5,650 posts
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    So what you really meant was "A telephone in the UK owned by someone with a Chinese background"

    ??

    Also, it's not the telephone itself that says it. So technically the joke is wrong twofold.

    :D

    Edited by RobTheBuilder at 22:43:29 23-01-2012
  • mrpon 23 Jan 2012 23:14:38 23,990 posts
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    Sounds like you're wanting the Harrow joke.

    Give yourself ½ gig or a £, you're worth it.

  • Kosmoz 2 Feb 2012 23:06:59 7,095 posts
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    Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He ate his dinner before it was cool.

    Every girl I ever kissed I was thinking of a pro footballer.

  • heyyo 2 Feb 2012 23:13:06 14,304 posts
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    On the last page kos mate
  • Kosmoz 2 Feb 2012 23:16:02 7,095 posts
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    Poop

    Every girl I ever kissed I was thinking of a pro footballer.

  • NOSAVIOUR 2 Feb 2012 23:17:19 2,724 posts
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    EG's reviews...
  • tombo 7 Feb 2012 15:34:51 2,055 posts
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    NOSAVIOUR wrote:
    EG's reviews...
    ZING!







    ¬_¬
  • OmniaVincitAmor 7 Feb 2012 15:45:53 1,373 posts
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    Ka-blamo wrote:
    How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?

    Put it in a microwave until its Bill Withers.
    Fucking brilliant. Stolen :)

    Defeat is not getting knocked down, but refusing to get back up.

  • Trowel 7 Feb 2012 18:46:19 14,988 posts
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    The people of Dubai don't like the Flintstones, but Abu Dhabi do.
  • localnotail 14 Feb 2012 17:55:39 21,427 posts
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    I heard Mick Hucknall is in custody - Very strange circumstances - he was rather shockingly arrested for having sex with an underage rabbit.

    Apparently he was holding back the ears and the bunny was too tight to mention.

    (sorry)

    Fire up the Cobra!

  • Deleted user 17 February 2012 17:29:54
    CosmicFuzz wrote:
    I hear Jeremy Beadle's got a massive hand.

    But on the other hand, it's a cock!

    Or something.
    Best joke ever.
  • muttler 17 Feb 2012 17:33:57 3,205 posts
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    Did you hear about the firework that didn't go off?

    It was bang out of order.
  • bladdard 17 Feb 2012 21:09:28 533 posts
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    Post deleted
  • Deleted user 27 February 2012 18:57:12
    Just came up with this off the top of my head.

    Which rapper makes more money from his shitty perfumes than his shitty music?

    50 Scents.

    :/
  • Madder-Max 27 Feb 2012 19:37:54 10,950 posts
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    Stompy wrote:
    Just came up with this off the top of my head.

    Which rapper makes more money from his shitty perfumes than his shitty music?

    50 Scents.

    :/
    very good. yes yes.

    /applauds

    99 problems and being ginger is one

  • neilka 27 Feb 2012 20:12:52 11,923 posts
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    Which rapper always carries a large supply of breath-freshing menthol sweets?

    50 Smints.

    if you have nothing intresting to say then you might as well just throw your bags on the truck and drive away

  • gammonbanter 27 Feb 2012 22:15:44 1,301 posts
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    Which rapper is a good mate to have when going camping?

    50 tents

    Edited by gammonbanter at 04:40:59 28-02-2012
  • binster 28 Feb 2012 09:39:21 422 posts
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    Which rapper is a good mate to have when you want a massive army to attack Isengard?

    50 Ents
  • Dant 28 Feb 2012 09:42:34 894 posts
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    Which rapper would you call if you needed good air circulation in a commercial or industrial office or building?

    50 Air Vents
  • Ka-blamo 28 Feb 2012 09:55:41 6,416 posts
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    Which rapper overestimated what was expected of him on pancake day?

    50 Lent(s)
  • Ka-blamo 28 Feb 2012 09:55:41 6,416 posts
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    Post deleted
  • Ka-blamo 28 Feb 2012 09:57:11 6,416 posts
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    Which rapper always holds the door open for a woman?

    50 Gent
  • Ka-blamo 28 Feb 2012 09:58:22 6,416 posts
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    Which rapper is a bad driver?

    Eminem!......nah 50 dents :)
  • binster 28 Feb 2012 15:32:04 422 posts
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    Which rapper isn't here any more?

    50 Went
  • X201 28 Feb 2012 15:55:40 12,967 posts
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    Post deleted
  • Nasty 28 Feb 2012 16:04:57 4,636 posts
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    Which rapper loves himself some South East England county action?

    DICKJOBBYFACE
  • billythekid 28 Feb 2012 16:10:01 10,259 posts
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    Which rapper got a visit from the school wag woman?

    50 absents
  • Deleted user 28 February 2012 20:02:45
    Q: Who managed to be a high-profile criminal AND a world-famous ghetto-stylin' music superstar?

    A: Jack the Rapper.

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