Uwe Boll decks another critic

By Tom Bramwell Published 25 September, 2006

Consistently painful.

Everyone's favourite film director Uwe Boll continues to enjoy success in the boxing ring, as his campaign to bring down the people who slag off his films on the Internet by punching them in the head claims another victim.

This time it's Rich "Lowtax" Kyanka of SomethingAwful fame, who makes a good show of it but eventually gets knocked down by the Raging Boll, who lands a couple of pretty vicious punches that leave his opponent sprawled on the canvas.

As with his previous victim, the video of Boll's bout has pitched up on YouTube.

Boll has previously said that he'll include a few of these clips in his forthcoming adaptation of Postal, which is just as well really, as they're a lot more convincing than any of the violence he filmed for BloodRayne.

Picture of Tom.

About Tom Bramwell

Tom is Operations director of Eurogamer Network and Editor-at-Large of Eurogamer.net. He joined the company in February 2000.

Read more articles from Tom by visiting the Tom Bramwell archive page.

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Comments (55) Latest comment 5 years ago

Comments threads automatically close after 30 days, but please feel free to continue chatting on the forum!

  • Laserbream #1 5 years ago

    My ghasts have been well and truly flabbered. How does this moronic circus act make his films any less dire? Why are his critics providing him with free publicity?

  • Eldritch #2 5 years ago

    Because some of his critics are publicity-craving tossers just as Boll himself.

  • Mugwum Verified Operations Director, Eurogamer Network #3 5 years ago

    Well, the reason we write about him is that you lot seem to find him irresistable, but also because there's very little danger of anybody who reads about him here not knowing exactly how awful he is. It only takes one of his films to realise that it's not even so-bad-it's-good, it's just genuinely bad.

  • Genji #4 5 years ago

    I have a newfound respect for Uwe Boll. Somebody had to beat up Lowtax sooner or later.

    Shame that he spent half the fight trying to avoid fighting. What a coward.

  • Orange #5 5 years ago

    The Raging Boll, I like it :)

  • espadachin #6 5 years ago

    ill never watch one of his films, but this guy is growing on me.

  • reflux #7 5 years ago

    Very manly. Beat up your critics and suddenly you've "proven them wrong"?

  • patlike #8 5 years ago

    I enjoyed that. You have to respect a man who's prepared to knock someone out "for a laugh".

  • Rambaldi #9 5 years ago

    Quality.

  • AcidSnake #10 5 years ago

    Hey, I like this move...
    More directors should offer this possibility...

  • kangarootoo #11 5 years ago

    "Why are his critics providing him with free publicity?"

    Isn't that what all critics do? It not like you can report on something without, well, reporting on it. Its not like everytime Uwe gets publicity a kitten dies is it?

  • patlike #12 5 years ago

    We should do something similar on Eurogamer, Mugs. The next time anyone slags off one of your reviews, we'll organise a fight. I'll be your manager, yeah?

    *opens book*

  • Genji #13 5 years ago

    'Very manly. Beat up your critics and suddenly you've "proven them wrong"?'

    They agreed to fight him. It's not like he cornered them in some dark alleyway and beat them up.

    I admire the guy for continuing to make movies despite the pounding he gets from people like Lowtax. Good on him. If he enjoys it, he should keep doing it.

  • skillian #14 5 years ago

    Ha ha, go Uwe!

  • marilena #15 5 years ago

    This fight is just like the first one - both the camera work and Uwe's opponent are poor.

    I don't know why Lowtax or the other guy accepted the fight, seeing how bad they are at it.

  • Carlo #16 5 years ago

    Publicity_stunt.com if you ask me.

  • Kostabi #17 5 years ago

    Lowtax fought like a man there...

    Outclassed and then takes a dive like a little girl.

  • djchump #18 5 years ago

    Hehe - of all the publicity stunts I've ever seen, this has got to be high up there though :-)
    Quality idea - if only we could extend it into the world of national & international political debate. I'd love to see Bush get a pasting from the French or German PMs, although Prescott versus a whole bunch of Torys would probably be the best rumble :-D

  • JonFE #19 5 years ago

    "Boll has previously said that he'll include a few of these clips in his forthcoming adaptation of Postal, which is just as well really, as they're a lot more convincing than any of the violence he filmed for BloodRayne."

    Fancy a few rounds with the Raging Boll yourself, Tom???

  • Stickman #20 5 years ago

    "I admire the guy for continuing to make movies despite the pounding he gets from people like Lowtax. Good on him. If he enjoys it, he should keep doing it. "

    Are you mental? You admire the guy for being fucking awful in his chosen medium and not having the good grace to accept it and stop inflicting his dross on the world?

    Isn't it about time Uwe fought someone who was a halfway decent pugalist? Oh wait, that's right, he chooses his opponents himself. Big man!

  • Laserbream #21 5 years ago

    I admire him but at the same time I don't like Boll because he is far too clever. Despite a complete and utter lack of directorial talent, he has been shrewd enough to use german tax laws to do very nicely for himself indeed. And he's clearly blessed with the gift of the gab judging by the way he keeps attracting investment.

    So there is always the danger that instead of pissing all over video game IPs that I don't care about he might get his hands on Planescape IP or System Shock IP.

  • d0bbo #22 5 years ago

    "makes a good show of it" eh?

  • Genji #23 5 years ago

    "Are you mental? You admire the guy for being fucking awful in his chosen medium and not having the good grace to accept it and stop inflicting his dross on the world?"

    Yes. Yes I do. It takes a special kind of genius to make movies that bad. If he likes doing it, he should do it. It's not like you're forced to watch his movies or anything.

  • djchump #24 5 years ago

    Stickman said: "...fucking awful in his chosen medium and not having the good grace to accept it and stop inflicting his dross on the world?"

    He hasn't inflicted anything on anyone - he just made some shit films. You're entirely free to *not* watch them, you know? He hasn't forced anyone to watch or buy his films.

  • TheBard #25 5 years ago

    I like this ;) Also, Boll makes a really good impression in interviews. Maybe I'll go and rent BloodRayne after all.

  • skillian #26 5 years ago

    Shit films, top bloke.

    That's my current impression.

  • Stickman #27 5 years ago

    You're all mad!

  • Kami #28 5 years ago

    Any director that will blame everything but his own dire directing for a flop of a film isn't a "top bloke". Boll blames the actors, the sets, the crew and yes, he even blames US, the audience he's supposed to be selling to.

    Mind you, these critics should know better really, but Uwe said a while back I believe he had the final say on who he fought... so I'd assume he's only going to choose those who he has every chance of beating up...

  • thehat #29 5 years ago

    "It's not like you're forced to watch his movies or anything."

    +1

  • newt #30 5 years ago

    Boll is a madman but I like his style (if only his movies had any). And this time, the "fight" was actually interesting to watch!

  • lambtron #31 5 years ago

    Regardless of how many nerds he beats up his films are still shit.

  • Grom #32 5 years ago

    Boll actually told all his opponents that it was just a PR stunt and that he wouldn't really fight them properly. Of course that all changed when he got in the ring. Not really much of a surprise but a bit BELOW THE BELT

  • Genji #33 5 years ago

    LOL @ them for believing him.

  • Pogle #34 5 years ago

    What a tosser.
    And his films of these bouts are shit too.

  • skillian #35 5 years ago

    I'm sure they had a beer together after.

    It's not like he broke into the SomethingAwful offices and plotted against Lowtax.

  • newt #36 5 years ago

    Boll actually told all his opponents that it was just a PR stunt and that he wouldn't really fight them properly.

    He still doesn't fight them "properly". You don't have to be a boxing expert to see he could easily trash that poor Lowtax guy.
    Edited by 1 at 25/09/06 @ 14:01

  • repairmanjack #37 5 years ago

    As a film maker, Boll makes a hell of a boxer. This has "circus" written all over it, but as someone who's been at the mercy of critics on more than one occasion ... I kinda enjoyed seeing one of these arseholes getting a pasting.

  • Nillsens #38 5 years ago

    ecks dee

  • Dynamize #39 5 years ago

    Uwe, you know how you trained a bit for these boxing matches. Sort of like improving your skills in a particular field in order to give a better performance? Yeah, you should do that with your directing. Take a few classes or something, talk to a few well-regarded brother directors to get some tips, read a few books. Get in touch with LearnDirect or somesuch. That's the way to silence your critics permanently, not boxing matches.

  • The-Bodybuilder #40 5 years ago

    This is a great publicity. Boll ensures that guys like lowtax can never say anything about him again.
    All negative reviews by lowetax can be countered with a "boll knocked da f*ck-out".

    >"Outclassed and then takes a dive like a little girl."

    Are we talking about an italian footballer here or something?

    >"I'd love to see Bush get a pasting from the French or German PMs, although Prescott versus a whole bunch of Torys would probably be the best rumble :-D"

    Cantt be with the lib dems though, they would be too busy knocking back whisky shots or sleeping with rent boys to care.
    Edited by 1 at 26/09/06 @ 17:57

  • The-Bodybuilder #41 5 years ago

    >"Boll actually told all his opponents that it was just a PR stunt and that he wouldn't really fight them properly. Of course that all changed when he got in the ring. Not really much of a surprise but a bit BELOW THE BELT"

    ROFL. Anyone that stupid deserves a pasting.

    If I were boll, I would simply make an entire movies based on beating up critics. I'm sure he would gain enough support from certain hollywood stars (tom cruise for one).

  • Isonic #42 5 years ago

    Uwe boll needs a gd kik up the ass,hes transforming our fav games in too our least fav films,sum one kill him...plz

  • repairmanjack #43 5 years ago

    Maybe the problem doesn't just start and end with Boll. Maybe the games we play actually have dreadful stories to start with...?

    Not defending the guy, but after seeing that clip of the fight, I kinda like him a little bit more today. :)
    Edited by 1 at 25/09/06 @ 17:40

  • chupachups #44 5 years ago

    Anyone here remember that time when Les Dennis boxed with Bob Mortimer?

  • Fyzzu #45 5 years ago

    I dunno. Y'see, that's what I thought at first - I gained a bit of respect for Boll. After hearing some other stuff, thuogh, I'm less inclined.

    I mean, yeah, it's an obvious publicity stunt, but he apparently promised them boxing training with professional boxers, full protective gear, and various other things, along with the promise that it would be "just for fun." While I can forgive the latter (and, let's face it, he was going to be serious about this anyway) the fact that he totally ignored the rest of his promises and also immediately turned down anyone who had any boxing experience at all... I dunno. It's just incredibly cowardly. He'd only fight with people who he couldn't possibly get hit by.

    If anything, I've gained respect for those who agreed to fight him, and lost even more for Boll.

  • Vin #46 5 years ago

    Fucksake - how much MORE of this man prancing about like a fucknut do we actually have to ENDURE?

  • Genji #47 5 years ago

    "I mean, yeah, it's an obvious publicity stunt, but he apparently promised them boxing training with professional boxers, full protective gear, and various other things, along with the promise that it would be "just for fun." While I can forgive the latter (and, let's face it, he was going to be serious about this anyway) the fact that he totally ignored the rest of his promises and also immediately turned down anyone who had any boxing experience at all... I dunno. It's just incredibly cowardly. He'd only fight with people who he couldn't possibly get hit by."

    Could you show me a source for all of these claims? Or is it just rumour-mongering by a bunch of sore losers?

  • NegativeZero #48 5 years ago

    I certainly wouldn't want to get into a ring with Uwe Boll if I was a skinny beanpole like Lowtax. Boll is clearly several weight classes higher, and actually knows what he's doing. It's like a professional football side challenging a bunch of random schoolboys to a game.

  • 3william56 #49 5 years ago

    Give them both chainsaws and get it sorted once and for all.

  • crazyhorse174 #50 5 years ago

    Question: Why can't someone like Tyson be one of his critics?

    That would be a better fight...

  • Daikon #51 5 years ago

    Someone of his online critics ought to teach that guy a lesson.
    When is the Eurogamer vs Uwe Bol bout scheduled?

  • Vin #52 5 years ago

    Hell yes, sign me up.

    MAKE IT HAPPEN EUROGAMER.

  • Khab #53 5 years ago

    Lowtax looks like he never threw a punch in his life, ffs! :)

  • Gurgeh #54 5 years ago

    According to Lowtax:

    - "There was an actual real critic who sparred with Uwe Boll a few nights ago, who was a real amateur boxer. Uwe refused to fight the guy in the ring; obviously he only wanted people with no boxing experience"

    - "The dude after me was throwing up and had an EMT by his side for about an hour. He eventually had to have an oxygen mask on. The dude after him was all bloodied up and looked like crap. They too made the mistake of believing Uwe Boll when he said it was just a PR thing, since neither really trained."

    - He said "good fight" and I said "asshole"

  • lostmilton #55 5 years ago

    I hate his movies, but all the statements regarding Boll being a liar and a cheater come exclusively from Lowtax, and that guy I hate even more.

    So, good job Uwe.