Japan's curious affinity for relationship sims such as Konami's hugely popular LovePlus series rarely warrants headlines on these shores, but publisher D3's latest effort is just too outrageous to let slip by.
As detailed over on Andriasang, it's readying a new 3DS title called - wait for it - If I Was With A Girl In A Sealed Room, I'd Probably XXX.
Apparently the game is split into two parts. One sees you attempting to woo the girl of your dreams in a school, while the other moves the action into a "dreamworld" which sees you helping the young lady - who happens to be wearing nothing but a towel - escape from a locked room.
To do so, you'll need to type in various different items for her to interactive with, which then duly appear on-screen.
Developer Intense has been kind enough to include 3DS gyro support so you can view your damsel in distress as desired. And seeing as you apparently play as an innocent little fairy, no angle is off limits.
It's out in Japan later this year, with a European release to follow... when hell freezes over.