Duke Nukem Forever

By Tom Bramwell Published 9 February, 2011

Strip teaser.

We all know that Duke Nukem Forever has been in been in development for 13 years. The fact the game is going to see the light of day at all is a testament to the wills of the nine 3D Realms staff who kept working on it in secret after their employer's demise, and to the artistic sympathy of Randy Pitchford, president of Gearbox Software and one of the industry's great showmen.

But the craziest thing about Duke Nukem Forever's "development hell", as Pitchford refers to it, is that the game's age has become its unique selling point.

And make no mistake, this is a 13-year-old game. The developers have slapped some lipstick on the odd pig but the occasional modern graphical effect - like depth-of-field as you change your focus between an armoured snout in the foreground and an assault trooper further away - jars with lighting arrangements, boxy geometry, angular character models and textural detail that often lacks the definition and subtlety we came to expect after Half-Life 2 in 2004. You never feel as close to 2011 as you do to 1997, and despite the ageing technology the frame-rate of the Xbox 360 version I'm getting to spend 90 minutes playing is inconsistent.

Duke's sense of humour remains just as unreconstructed as the visuals are of their time, complete with cultural references that the kids of today won't understand ("I'm from Las Vegas and I say kill 'em all!" Five points if you correctly identified Starship Troopers), while his menagerie of alien opponents do things that the rest of the FPS genre gave up on years ago.

Assault troopers hover through the air, dodging left and right or teleporting across the screen with frustrating unpredictability. The newest trick the basic pig enemy has learned is to launch himself toward you using muscular hind legs, so that he crashes wavelike against your fumbling macho hands with the geometric precision and violence of the Fiend from Quake 1.

1

"If I'd thought of that, that guy might still have his arm, and at least one of his balls!"

(Which means that, yes, they've borrowed a trick from an enemy in a game released six months after Duke Nukem 3D, and so long forgotten that even its second sequel is now a budget release available via digital download services and as a free-to-play PC browser game.)

As we noted during last year's improbable public unveiling, Forever begins with Duke being blown by the "Holsom Twins" while he plays his own game on a big-screen TV in the penthouse of his casino, The Lady-Killer.

This is where he's spent the years since he last repelled an alien invasion, living the kind of energetically hedonistic lifestyle that sounds really amazing when you're watching it in a buddy comedy, but which most of us would probably rather avoid in favour of a night in with a DVD of Starship Troopers and a takeaway.

Outside the window an alien mothership hangs over Las Vegas. The aliens arrived a little while ago, claiming to have come in peace. The President has asked Duke not to get involved while delicate negotiations are taking place.

So instead, Duke descends in his golden elevator - adorned with framed magazine covers showing him chomping on cigars, cradling pistols and sharing his unself-consciously one-dimensional thoughts on "babes" - to appear on "Damn, It's Late", a talkshow that seems to be filmed in his basement.

But! As he arrives on set, news breaks that aliens are out on the Strip at a Duke-themed burger joint and the blanket coverage from TV stations has forced the show to be cancelled. (Confused younger readers may wish to Google "We interrupt this programme" in order to understand what happened in these situations prior to BBC News 24 and Kay Burley's helicopter.) The game instructs you to divert to the "Duke Cave" for a briefing with the President and General Graves, commander of the Earth Defence Forces.

As expected, the aliens drop their peaceful pretence and come looking for Duke. At this stage he has to fend them off with his bare fists, and the game uses the slow start to introduce mechanics - such as the concept that consuming beer "makes you stronger".

(When I do this, the screen goes so blurry that it's impossible to fight and I can't work out if my strength has actually increased. But I suspect it has, because in a game where you can enhance your health by punching a "douchebag" in the face, it's hard to imagine any of the events that occur are cautionary rather than literal.)

You can also scoff steroids to make yourself go berserk, and at some point the lights go out, so it's time to use "Duke Vision" to see in the dark and take out aliens as they flail uncertainly into the gloom.

In Duke's nearby gym you can boost your health by bench-pressing a pile of weights, throwing a basketball through a hoop (assuming you can decipher the peculiar physics) and playing pinball. A pattern is established at this point: move through an area by killing all the aliens, probe the margins for secret bonuses and jokes (like glimpsing a pair of naked women through an air-vent, writhing and luxuriating on a bedspread), and solve the occasional puzzle.

The puzzles are welcome. As Duke tries to power up his casino so he can take on the mothership, a sexy female computer voice tells him he has to locate three power cores. Two are lying nearby, but the third is on the other side of bulletproof glass in a room full of crates and a toy monster truck.

2

One of the first things you get to do is jump up and down in front of a mirror. "Look at my ass," says Duke. "LOOK AT IT."

Seizing the remote control for the truck, Duke has to manoeuvre it up some ramps and around shelving units to dislodge the power core and poke it through a hole in the floor for retrieval. "You sure know how to turn a girl on," purrs the computer, as he inserts the final core.

With the old lady up and running and the mothership waiting outside, it's time for a bit of girl-on-girl. Duke hops in a turret and rides up to the roof, where he proceeds to blast the alien ship with endless rounds while it fires a cannon at him and spits out dropships.

They prove no match. "Rest in pieces," Duke offers as the alien saucer disintegrates and ploughs into the Vegas skyline. (That "girl-on-girl" thing was my joke, by the way - I'm trying to get into the spirit of things.)

As he works his way back down through the casino, Duke is reduced to a tiny, helium-voiced Duke Shrunkem. Apparently his impact on the ladies is undiminished, however - "I know just where I'd put him," a young woman remarks as he passes.

Duke then encounters a child (who fortunately does not automatically want to have sex with him), from whom he borrows a toy car that he drives around the crumbling casino, jumping gaps and revving past oblivious alien swine.

At one point he has to hop out and negotiate stacks of chips, bouncy cushions (SiN! Lest we forget!) and roulette tables ("Always bet on Duke...") to get to the release switch for a metal shutter door.

Having reached safety and a particle device that returns him to his normal stature, aliens descend through the glass ceiling and - following a hairy encounter and the expenditure of a lot of shotgun shells - make off with the Holsom Twins.

Duke, as you can imagine, is incensed. "Not my babes! Not in my town!" He fights his way back through the casino (giving you a normal-sized take on the sections he ravaged in his toy car) and rendezvouses with Graves, who tells him the aliens are heading for the Hoover dam. "Screw the dam. Where are they taking our chicks?"

The EDF forces furnish Duke with a Ripper (the three-barrelled machinegun from Duke Nukem 3D) and some power armour ("Power armour is for pussies," Duke explains as he walks past the Master Chief's unmistakeable green and black helmet).

From here it's a battle through streets heaped with abandoned cars and buses (abandoned, perhaps, due to their low detail levels) and onto a showdown with the Battlelord - a three-storey armoured Rancor impersonator with a machinegun and a mortar cannon.

Having decimated its health bar with RPGs, Duke finishes the Battlelord by ripping a spike out of its head and shoving it through its eye, before dropping to the ground and speed-bagging the monster's testicles for a final humiliation. Fade to black.

Before we sit down with the game, Randy Pitchford tells us that it's nearly finished, but that around 3500 issues are still lurking in the database waiting to be solved. Unless one of them is "overhaul graphics engine", I'm afraid none of them is going to make Duke Nukem Forever feel like a modern videogame.

4

Hopefully the Duke-branded Xbox controller in the intro will turn up as a real accessory.

(It is worth noting that when I speak to him afterwards, Pitchford is incensed when I say I think the game looks outdated, and makes a good defence of its visuals and the trade-offs the studio has made to ensure the experience delivers what 3D Realms intended. Look out for that interview soon for more.)

It's also possible that the playable demo promised to buyers of the Borderlands Game of the Year Edition will backfire, as it reveals to uneducated gamers curious about this impossibly long-awaited first-person shooter that the impossibly long wait has been for something sired by and locked into a 13-year-old design mentality.

Duke Nukem Forever's release will not be a Half-Life 2 moment - when the majesty of Valve's creation suddenly justified the endless delays and broken promises. But while it is old fashioned, unashamedly brash and ridiculous, and full of comically daft one-liners, it also emerges at a convenient time: as an entire genre of unwitting dinosaurs stomps around in gigantic footsteps left by Call of Duty and Halo, Duke's lewd, unapologetic one-dimensionality and lowbrow thrills are points of distinction.

You may laugh uncomfortably at the borderline sexism, and you may log onto a forum occasionally to make fun of the graphics, but the ageing ideas and references that date the game also give it a sense of history and belonging.

And when your morbid curiosity about this 13-year-old game eventually dissipates, the chances are you will look back on the experience with amusement and a certain amount of affection. And if not? It is safe to say the Duke will not lose sleep - although whether he will be back is another story.

Picture of Tom.

About Tom Bramwell

Tom is Operations director of Eurogamer Network and Editor-at-Large of Eurogamer.net. He joined the company in February 2000. Follow him on Twitter.

Read more articles from Tom by visiting the Tom Bramwell archive page.

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Comments (106) Latest comment 1 year ago

Comments for this article are now closed, but please feel free to continue chatting on the forum!

  • CaptainQuint #1 1 year ago

    My name's Duke Nukem and I'm here to take money off all you chav bastards.

  • Golgo #2 1 year ago

    @CaptainQuint: This won't even register on the chav radar. This is for the true connoisseurs of the genre.

  • thepiedpiper #3 1 year ago

    maybe i would have fancied playing this 13 years years ago when i was still going through puberty

  • Eraserhead #4 1 year ago

    I suspect even a 13-year-old boy would find this 13-year-old game painfully, embarrassingly juvenile these days.

  • CrispyXUK64 #5 1 year ago

    Sounds like a proper game, happy days

  • teabagger #6 1 year ago

    I suspect that those that grew up with Duke have moved on, and those that didn't won't care...

    Except the odd few people that did grow up with Duke, but not sufficiently so to move out of their parents house despite being in their 30s. They might be interested.

    (edit)

    Though I've just read the Kotaku review, so maybe... just maybe it might be alright...

    Edited by teabagger at 09/02/11 @ 17:23

  • Inquisitor #7 1 year ago

    Wow, certainly didn't expect a mauling of this level. To be honest, graphically it looks okay. It's certainly no powerhouse but the chunky geometry and weaponry remind me of a slightly prettier, cleaner Prey or Doom 3. As for the humour, definitely not my cup of tea. I'll probably pick this up simply because of the curio value, as Mr Bramwell rightly points out, it's been on my radar for so long and has had such an interesting development history. Plus, I kind of love slightly rough around the edges shooters.

  • nemesisND1derboy #8 1 year ago

    Only borderline sexism? You have just cancelled my preorder!

  • supermaniacs #9 1 year ago

    @CaptainQuint:
    Call of duty = Chavs
    Duke Nukem = Real gamers

  • kinky_mong #10 1 year ago

    Really can't seeing this being good despite all of Gearbox's best intentions.

  • teabagger #11 1 year ago

    @SirFuzzyDunlop Eh?

  • Dogs-not-Gods #12 1 year ago

    Sadly I think it's going to be cool to criticise this game. I'm not saying there won't be issues to criticise, but the whole backstory here and the older fanbase who remember the over the top, galoot nature of Duke games, are going to hopefully make the snide commentary easy to ignore. Before people start saying 'this is no Bulletstorm/Crysis 2/ insert current FPS here remember it doesn't pretend to be.

  • Feanor #13 1 year ago

    @Tom Bramwell.

    Is this preview from the Duke Nukem Titty City event held at a Las Vegas strip club? If so, do you think it affected your coverage in any way?

  • el_pollo_diablo #14 1 year ago

    From the screenshots you've posted with the article, the graphics don't really look outdated to me at all.

  • GreyBeard #15 1 year ago

    I'm not at all surprised that Pitchford was offended by the comments about the graphics. State of the art on a PC in 1997 was Quake2, and Duke looks a lot more impressive than that.

  • Timotei #16 1 year ago

    @teabagger

    "I suspect that those that grew up with Duke have moved on, and those that didn't won't care... "

    Except the odd few people that did grow up with Duke, but not sufficiently so to move out of their parents house despite being in their 30s. They might be interested. "

    I, not to blow my own trumpet, am a managing director of my own company. After Doom, DN 3D was my favourite game as a young teen. I can't explain to you how I've been longing for this sequel. It will be great. It won't be great. It will be awesome. John St John will be awesome. The whole fucking shooting match will be nothing less than awesome. This game is going to be fucking awesome, if only for the nostalgia.

    I am going to buy this game and play it to death, even if it only garners a 1 score from EG. I will fuck the reviewer in the eye-socket and spit on his/hers anus. I fucking heart Duke Nukem. You cunts.

    Awesome.
    Edited by Timotei at 09/02/11 @ 17:42

  • Lord_Gremlin #17 1 year ago

    Ah, Duke Nukem, first character to actually rip off enemy boss head and shit down his neck (Lunar Apocalypse final chapter).

    People remember, people waited. But times changed, I'll be playing it on PS3, perhaps many others will go for PS3 and 360 instead of PC too.

  • smelly #18 1 year ago

    "Outdated shooter" eh?

    Hmm... If that means that it actually has exploration and fun and interesting gameplay like they used to have "back in the day" as opposed to the modern day snoreworthy thing of just putting you on a linear path.. Like most popular modern shooters (cod/halo/etc) Then sign me up.

  • CaptainQuint #19 1 year ago

    All these so-called "real gamers" thinking this is gonna be a great game make me laugh. Duke Nukem was always cult mediocrity paraded as a classic of the fps genre, so why should that change now?

    Wake up fools - "real gamers" play good games, not overhyped trash like this.

  • otto #20 1 year ago

    "borderline sexism"

    borderline??

  • GooseUK #21 1 year ago

    Graphics look fine to me, especially if it delivers the level of interactivity it promises.

    Graphic look more impressive than Fallout for example

  • dunbain #22 1 year ago

    I always figure negative articles have the opposite effect of interesting people even more. Despite the deadpan, eye-rolled describing of the games's flow, it seems hell interesting next to CoD:Whatever.

    Having been immersing myself into games of yesteryear lately, I definitely appreciate the imagination born of the need to differentiate between comparative graphics. I expect nothing but the same with this iteration of the Duke.

  • kalinichenko #23 1 year ago

    I for instance dont really care about the Graphics,just glad Duke is back.Day one purchase just like Dead Space 2.
    Operation Cock Block here i come!!

  • Bernkastel #24 1 year ago

    Sounds great to me. I'll take a silly albeit visually outdated shooter over yet another graphics up-the-arse space/war cry-for-me-I-took-a-bullet-for-you drama shooter any day. Can't wait for the demo!
    Edited by Bernkastel at 09/02/11 @ 18:04

  • Widge #25 1 year ago

    So yeah, can't wait for Bioshock Infinite!

  • Britesparc Verified Creative, ITV #26 1 year ago

    The graphics in the screenshots look OK to me. Quite bright and colourful.

    Basically, if the game's fun, I'll get it.

  • DVR #27 1 year ago

    This will be a day one purchase for me, I loved Duke 3D and even if this turns out to be a heaving pile of worm infested dog poo, I still would like to see the franchise return to the fun levels of Duke 3D in another (hopefully more timely) sequel :)

  • O11Y #28 1 year ago

    "Screw the dam. Where are they taking our chicks?".

    This line alone justifies my money. If it's anything like the bug ridden Alpha Protocol then I will enjoy it immensely. Dodgy AI and lumberjack beards are my idea of a good time. This is not sarcasm.

  • kalel #29 1 year ago

    This game is The Beatles reforming. It’s Gazza making a comeback. It’s Steve Martin being funny again.

    It’s what everyone wanted to happen, but thought never would. It’s a miracle. It’s gaming history.

    Anyone moaning that this isn't a "modern video game" is dramatically missing the point. Go play CoD12 or whatever. This clearly isn’t for you.

    Me? I’m ready for action. Let’s Rock!

  • Ka-blamo #30 1 year ago

    I wonder how many times they had to start this game again from scratch....no way are they using any part of the game they started 13 years ago, maybe the same storyline...maybe.

  • Grayvern #31 1 year ago

    Shame this will overshadow Bulletstorm in the crude shooter stakes, I really like people can fly.

  • obscured021 #32 1 year ago

    I loved the first game, I played the shareware version every day for months till the full game was released, I also finished 2nd in IOL's duke 3d comp back in 1997 , and im looking forword to puting on my 3d glasses and watching duke kick some ass and stick Dollar biills down stripers tongs.

  • dirtyvu #33 1 year ago

    come get some!

  • cw- #34 1 year ago

    http://s-ak.buzzfed.com/static/imagebuzz...

  • megalomaniacs4u #35 1 year ago

    Old school FPS = sold!

    Tired of the modern CoD & Halo style crap...

  • smelly #36 1 year ago

    @CaptainQuint : There was more varied and interesting level design in one level of duke nukem 3d than the entire series of halo games.

  • ElNino9 #37 1 year ago

    Colour me interested!

  • T3TSUO #38 1 year ago

    Could not care less about the graphics to be honest. It's years since I've had fun with a game. Remember that, fun?
    Duke 3D arrived a month before Quake and still gave it a run for it's money.

  • Paul_cz #39 1 year ago

    Screw all the pseudowannabeeintellectuals.

    Bring on the Duke I say!

  • smelly #40 1 year ago

    >Old school FPS = sold!
    >Tired of the modern CoD & Halo style crap...


    I wish i could +1 you more than once...

  • RedSparrows #41 1 year ago

    Yeah, Duke was the height of open world.

    Praise the game for its utterly balls out approach and ridiculousness, not for the fact it's the 'halcyon' return of red-key-red-door 'brilliance'.

  • Mugwum Verified Operations Director, Eurogamer Network #42 1 year ago

    @Feanor

    Affect me in what way?

  • mAc062 #43 1 year ago

    Yay duke as duke is meant to be

  • mrblonde #44 1 year ago

    TBH apart from us avid gamers on EG, i doubt any other member of the general public have ever heard of duke nukem and its 13 year delay. Cant help but think this game will be a commercial disaster, despite borderlands success

  • smelly #45 1 year ago

    >I hope Duke is a lot more in common with Half-Life/Bioshock in its level design than Call of Duty.


    Boshock?!?!!? REALLY???

  • Monkey_Chops #46 1 year ago

    Borderline sexism? There's nothing borderline about it. That's what Duke Nukem is all about, goddammit!

  • Zeliard #47 1 year ago

    "(Which means that, yes, they've borrowed a trick from an enemy in a game released six months after Duke Nukem 3D, and so long forgotten that even its second sequel is now a budget release available via digital download services and as a free-to-play PC browser game.)"

    It should be noted that the free-to-play browser game you are condescendingly referring to here, Quake 3, is also still better than pretty much every multiplayer FPS out there. Unless, of course, you think quality in MP FPS is demonstrated by continually rewarding the player for such things as managing to boot the game up without their homes catching on fire. +100! If you still want your shooters to emphasize precision and movement, aka skill, you'd be hard-pressed to find it more effectively demonstrated elsewhere.

    There is certainly room for the unshackled old school, Quake and Duke, in these days of mediocre, self-serious military shooters with no identity.

    /1990s FPS defense team ;)

  • inutaihanyou #48 1 year ago

    People should be free to like what they do. Although COD is a franchise that is in dire need of a major break and Activision being largely responsible for that, there are people who prefer those sorts of games.


    And Halo, having 4 games in the span of 10 years isn't anything to criticize i feel, as the series has done a lot for the console FPS scene.

    I just think that people who like Duke Nukem or are interested in it should enjoy it, there's no need to trash what other people like because its not what you personally are into.

  • JetSetWilly #49 1 year ago

    What a thoroughly depressing read. You just sat down with DNF, where's your enthusiasm?

  • afghan_jones #50 1 year ago

    You people are mental. Duke was always a bit cringeworthy and let's face it, a bit shit.

    This reads like it's going to be a real turd. I get the curiosity factor but even so, it hardly seems worth dropping actual cash money on this peculiarity. Or is it the carnival freakshow mentality? Step right up folks, pay a dollar to see the game that time forgot!

  • King_Edward #51 1 year ago

    Sounds fucking perfect.

    Hail to the king baby!

  • levitate #52 1 year ago

    "It's time to kick ass and chew bubblegum. And I'm all outta gum..."

  • alan_stealth #53 1 year ago

    Fuck the people that don't know or get Duke.
    Duke was popular when it was still embarassing to admit you play games.
    Until the dark days, until the Sony...

    I am not going to be disappointed, it looks and sounds exactly like the game I've been waiting 13 years to play.
    Fuck you Eurogamer.
    You were still a twinkle in your makers eye when I was waiting for Duke.

  • man.the.king #54 1 year ago

    @SirFuzzyDunlop

    "Oh hello there, game of the year."

    Which year? ;)

  • DirectAim #55 1 year ago

    This is what games are all about, a fun game that doesn't take itself too serious, cannot wait to have a bash on this!!!!

  • lostlain #56 1 year ago

    I'm going to buy it. I know it will be shit, but I owe it to my old self.

  • HurbleBurble #57 1 year ago

    Hmmm, here's the EG Gallery for HL2: [link url=http://www.eurogamer.net/gallery.php?game_id=2354#anchor
    ]http://www.eurogamer.net/gallery.php?gam...[/link]

    Here's the EG Gallery for DNF: [link url=http://www.eurogamer.net/gallery.php?game_id=2855#anchor
    ]http://www.eurogamer.net/gallery.php?gam...[/link]

    Call me a mentalist and I do have manflu, but out of those two I know which looks more contemporary and polished and it wasn't made by Valve.

  • fluff_the_tiger #58 1 year ago

    fuck off Eurogamer with your pretentious snobbery... I for one am looking forward to DNF - hopefully it will be loads of fun. It doesn't even look that bad.

  • desomondo #59 1 year ago

    "Power armour is for pussies"

    Sign me up! Every single negative slap given in this preview just makes me want the game more. Having painfully forced myself through both Black Ops and Bad Company 2 I'm more than ready for some good old fashion FPS game play. Agree with me or not but the FPS genre was better before health regeneration, weak arse generic human enemies you can drop in one bullet to the face, and realistic (ie: boring) level design. Give me med kits, aliens, shrink rays, political incorrectness and huge bosses that take 50 RPGs to the face!

  • RobotRocker #60 1 year ago

    Tom insulted the Duke. He deserves to be yelled at for his heresy by his prophet, Pitchford.

    May 'Ye be warned oh blasphemer Bramwell for The mighty Duke shall return and unless 'ye beg for forgiveness, the Duke may find a Eurogamer editors head to rip off and shit down his neck.

  • the_dudefather #61 1 year ago

    Sounds like the game I wanted over a decade ago

    turns out I still want it

  • Lemming81 #62 1 year ago

    As I feared, it should have remained a product of its time. It's sounds really unfunny. I quite liked Duke Nukem 3D when it came out. But then, I was 15 at the time.

  • TormDK #63 1 year ago

    @Man.the.king ""Oh hello there, game of the year."

    Which year? ;)"

    Every year from Duke Nukem 3D was released, till now! Hail to the king baby!

  • 43n1m4 #64 1 year ago

    Not getting my hopes up, but this will be interesting. Not sure where Duke fits in these days, if at all. But perhaps that's the very reason it should be released.

  • Stardusted #65 1 year ago

    I liked the first one, though I am not a fan of FPS games. The reason I liked it was because of EXPLORATION. You know, that little thing that most modern games miss, because one day a customer called them and yelled "I got lost, I got lost, this shouldnt happen, I'll return your game and want my money back".

    It was of course no daggerfall-like exploration, but it allowed us to search around find stuff do silly in game things and all without someone holding our hands and dragging us through straight corridors.

    That aside, one question. Been reading eurogamer regularly for a long long time. How exactly do you not like these graphics? I mean, is it cause of the specific art style or from a technical point of view, because they seem rather good to me.

  • BlitzwingHaz #66 1 year ago

    Dunno if I'd pay 40 quid for it, (how much is it btw?) but I'm really looking forward to this.
    The first game was just over the top fun, this looks the same. Hope it sells well and they make another. And it comes out a bit sooner next time.

  • Tomo #67 1 year ago

    Do want. It's got 6/10 written all over it.

  • smelly #68 1 year ago

    What ever happened to previews not being down on a product?

    It used to be the case that REAL journalists would only point out some of the things which could have room for improvement - but they wouldnt be totalyl down on the game until it was released and they'd given it a proper playthrough.

    To be this down on a game with only playing a small section of it says to me "unprofessional". It says to me that you probably went into it expecting it to suck, or maybe you do reviews after playing the game for a short period of time too?

    But then i guess this is the internet age.. professionalism from reviewers shouldnt be expected - unless there is a large cheque attached to the preview code...

  • curtlikesmeat #69 1 year ago

    Just get it out of the door so we can have Colonial Marines sooner.

  • benfresh76 #70 1 year ago

    Why, when people talk about this, or any so called 'hardcore' game, do they talk about 'real gamers'? What the fuck is a 'real gamer'? Games are a great waste of time, that's it. I find it laughable that so called 'real gamers' think that their preference in the pursuit of such a meaningless, time wasting activity is somehow more worthy than the choice of a person who probably sees games, more healthily, as little more than an entertaining distraction.

    Get a life.

  • gjgjg #71 1 year ago

    day 1, whenever that will be

  • FiReTiGeR2K #72 1 year ago

    @benfresh

    why would you even post here?

  • TheTingler #73 1 year ago

    At this point, "old-fashioned" equals "f**k yeah" for me. There aren't enough insane, old-fashioned FPSs out there - too many trying to imitate Call of Duty. See what just happened to Guitar Hero and the entire music genre for where that'll lead.

  • bosseye #74 1 year ago

    Yeah, sounds terrible. Now, I grew up with Duke, loved the Duke games so much - but I was a teenager back then and grainy pixel nudity and hilarious misogynistic puns were all I needed to have a good time. Now I'm a father in my 30's and I genuinely can't see anything of interest in there for me other than a brief nostalgic romp. Might rent on that basis then.

  • neonxaos #75 1 year ago

    I don't like the tone of this preview very much, but I'm not sure if it's really Mr. Bramwell's perfectly well-executed writing or the nagging sensation that he's making fun of the 13-year-old me. The 31-year-old me still wants to play this. He wants it to be crude, straight-up sexist and funny in the lamest way possible. He wants a game that is not taking itself so damn seriously as Call of Duty or Gears of War. He wants a game that is unclouded by all the weird moral standards and stuck-up notions that seem to have been introduced in gaming since Duke 3D was first released.

    Maybe Bulletstorm is actually the game I want - it seems to have the humour, the gameplay and the graphics to be a respectless modern classic, but Duke has still got something special. I will purchase this game, even if Duke is creaking ominously at the hinges. I will buy it, even if it it gets a 1/10, and I suspect that is really what Mr. Bramwell is commenting on. This game will sell like crazy, no matter how bad it is. And that is hard to condone as a reviewer.
    Edited by neonxaos at 10/02/11 @ 08:27

  • Sunyavadin #76 1 year ago

    Going back to before Quake is a GOOD thing. Quake introduced something to the FPS genre that we all regret.

    BROWN.

  • carlitoswagon #77 1 year ago

    Sounds like a purchase. Some good, old fashioned alien bashing. Nothing wrong with that and a few tittys.

    Edit: Some folks/cunts won't and can't appreciate this for what it really is. A game the faithful want and expect from Duke Nukem. If it were anything different I'd be disappointed. Playing it while smkoking a big fat Havana and a glass of Bushmills will be a nice touch.

    Edited by carlitoswagon at 10/02/11 @ 09:10

  • sega #78 1 year ago

    I think the game looks great but, if the graphics arn't up to the standard you expect of modern hardware then that's even better - means there's a chance it'll run on my now aging PC!

    And, to the first poster - Duke is for chavs?! You just get the hell out of here.

  • Tyronne #79 1 year ago

    I honestly do not care what this ends up being like, I have waited for so many years now that to finally have a copy in my hands will be one of lifes true geek moments.

  • kingmunchkin #80 1 year ago

    Know what despite the negativity the game sounds like it has a lot of fun packed into it. Granted the humour is juvenillie.....but I am getting bored of war based FPS.

    Despite its age I think this might be exactly the sort of stupid fun I am looking for!

  • Zerobob #81 1 year ago

    With that controller Duke is officially an Xbox fanboy. Xbox wiiiinnnns! ;)

  • 43n1m4 #82 1 year ago

    It doesn't look nearly as bad (graphically) as I expected it to look, considering the patchy development. However, I don't expect fine wine, but more like a fridge-cold beer. Which is ok, if you don't expect fine wine.
    One thing Duke Nukem did better back in the day, was to come up with all sorts of variations and surprises in both level design and enemies - hopefully this will be true for this game as well.

  • Sodding_Gamer #83 1 year ago

    I don't give a crap how god damn awful the graphics are. I'm in it for the 1 liners and the pure fact that I am playing DN game that I never thought I would.

  • DrStrangelove #84 1 year ago

    If it really plays like a 13-year-old FPS, then I'll have it. That's all I want it to be, and I'll happily trade in fancy high-detail graphics for that. I miss the fun of running and jumping around like a madman while pumping hundreds of rockets at mindless but deadly enemies. I'm tired of taking cover all the time, being overly economical with ammo, and being annoyed by uninteresting storylines.

  • DrStrangelove #85 1 year ago

    Also, stealing from Quake 1 is not a bad idea. After nearly 15 years it still is the best FPS ever.

  • spekkeh #86 1 year ago

    Duke's sense of humour remains just as unreconstructed as the visuals are of their time, complete with cultural references that the kids of today won't understand ("I'm from Las Vegas and I say kill 'em all!" Five points if you correctly identified Starship Troopers)

    The kids of today won't understand Commando either. Duke is a 2011 reimagining of a 90s game of an 80s mindset. F*ck the kids of today.

  • Timotei #87 1 year ago

    Plus 1.

    Million.

  • Zerobob #88 1 year ago

    "I don't give a crap how god damn awful the graphics are. I'm in it for the 1 liners and the pure fact that I am playing DN game that I never thought I would. "

    Exactly, as long as it's stuffed full of cheesy 1 liners with a sarcastic edge and it's a blast to play start to finish it has to succeed!

  • quadfather #89 1 year ago

    At last, some refreshing FPS, full of fun. AT LAST!

    Hands on = pointless
    Graphics = Whatever, look fine to me
    People that don't like Duke = Fine, I'm just glad I'm not you!
    Game = Sold

    By the way - @ cw- that link is epic ;)
    Edited by quadfather at 10/02/11 @ 11:37

  • geeza2020 #90 1 year ago

    spekkeh - theres not enough +'s in the world for that comment. Fuck the kids of today. What have they done for us? Made CoD ridiculously and IMO undeservedly popular. Fuck em :)

  • DrStrangelove #91 1 year ago

    @cw

    It's E1M6! Yay!

  • wellsie #92 1 year ago

    Bollocks! I bet I get sent about 10 copies of this because I must have pre-ordered it loads of times at different places over the years lol

  • linea #93 1 year ago

    Yeah, I don't know what the point is really talking about expectations for this game.

    I mean it's already exceeding everyone's expectations by actually coming out at this point!

    And as far as the graphics go, I think they look pretty decent. I think most of the audience for this game (me included) are probably in two minds about the controversial move to 3D enemy models for this version over the traditional sprite-based enemies....

  • SFG_Clan #94 1 year ago

    I can't believe the amount of rage at anyone who has made a criticising comment of this game.
    Now I don't mind either way, I think if your looking for this kind of game your going to be inextricably pleased with it. However, I also think that due to the 13-year wait fans have endured there is a certain amount of denial here about the problems with the game being developed over that time period

    And before you go saying anything to the contrary; I hate Call of Duty and have a certain disdain for Halo games and their fanbase... but I probably wiil buy this to see what a 'new' modern Duke Nukem will be like
    Edited by SFG_Clan at 10/02/11 @ 17:50

  • sega #95 1 year ago

    I wouldn't say anyone is in denial SFG_Clan - I think most people just didn't think they'd even see it at all. It's like accepting there's no santa claus for thirteen years - and then he emerges from the fireplace with a copy of Duke Nukem Forever.

  • kongzi #96 1 year ago

    thanks for the 3 pages of spoilers and little else. I'm sure it'll enhance my game experience tremendously

  • O11Y #97 1 year ago

    @sega - genius

  • lockload #98 1 year ago

    Looks like an old game, zero interest in this unless a demo blows me away

  • Neil__ #99 1 year ago

    @kongzi

    I wouldn't worry about spoilers, sounds like nothing could detract from this games enjoyment.

    It won't have any to detract from.

  • bosseye #100 1 year ago

    You know what strikes me as 'funny' - the amount of rampant fanboyism on here, purely because its Duke. Really, half of you are no better than someone proclaiming PS3 suxxx when all evidence is to the contrary. All the evidence here is that Duke is a bad, disjointed game. Bad design, bad gameplay, bad graphics, stupid wilfully immature content suitable for pubescent teenage boys, but surely not grown men - yet 90% are going "don't care it roxxxxx its Duke lalalalala not listening...." Fanboys the lot of you and I find it strange that you're all tossing your principles out of the window and rejecting everything negative said about this game on the basis that you loved the original, as if that in some way made DNF immune from the critique that every game should be subject to these days.

    The thing is, worryingly I suspect this will pick up 6-7/10 scores as reviewers everywhere pander to the fanboy masses and ignore the hundreds of glaring faults with this game and mark it up purely because "its Duke". Its happening already with this hands on - 'ageing ideas and references' apparently not a bad thing anymore, that just gives it 'history and belonging'? Seriously.
    Edited by bosseye at 11/02/11 @ 07:39

  • spekkeh #101 1 year ago

    Naw, of course I'd much prefer it if the game was actually good, Duke3D back in the day was really good, but this preview has written 6/10 all over it. But I do think that some of the criticisms may be slightly missing the point, my choice of likening it with Commando was on purpose. Judged as a movie, it's pretty toss, but I think it's the greatest movie of the eighties because it epitomizes the over the top macho action culture (and has Ahnuld) of that time.
    I have no doubt this will be a pretty weak game compared to todays standards, I just hope it does the 80s thing right. I'll probably only like it for it's nostalgic value.

  • B1G_D #102 1 year ago

    @bosseye

    Blow it out your ass! HAIL TO THE KING BABY!

  • geeza2020 #103 1 year ago

    @bosseye - I'll rip your head off and shit down your neck!!

  • Arrahant #104 1 year ago

    Personally I wouldn't find it that problematic that the graphics look somewhat outdated, as long as a I get a long single player adventure with lots of little interactive elements in the world, secrets to explore and a lot of corny humor. When it comes to shooters I'm not really into multiplayer (apart of the Battlefield games), so hopefully this one will contain a satisfyingly long campaign.

    Back in 1996 my parents let our first Pentium computer enter the house, and the game I bought that same day was Duke 3D. Man, I've had so much fun for so long with that singleplayer adventure!
    So far the previews seem promising, can't wait!

  • whoyouknow #105 1 year ago

    Brussard told everyone this was going to be the best game ever made. He told people that at least once a year, every year, for thirteen years. You tell me how 2K are meant to prime consumers with realistic expectations.

    I don't really care about the graphics, I just want it to be fun. Saint's Row 2 fun. Left 4 Dead fun. Fun. Let Duke be as shallow as he wants, I don't care if he's outdated, or a relic of a bygone age. Nobody makes the same one-dimensional complaints of Super Mario.

  • coldfoot #106 1 year ago

    One of my most beloved franchises of the 90's, I feel that all DNF needs to be is DN3D with updated graphics. Sounds like that's exactly what's being previewed here.

    The graphics look fine to me by the way, not everything has to have motion blur and blood on the screen when you get hit *BLOODY SCREEN so real*
    Edited by coldfoot at 13/02/11 @ 08:09