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Minit review - a bite-sized marvel

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2 weeks ago

@petergreen1 Please tell us your demands, Peter. You're either idly whining or your asking Eurogamer to rate more highly games that you like. Which one is it?

It's not Eurogamer aren't reviewing these games you like, these EXTREME games for ENTHUSIASTS like Far Cry 5, so what exactly is your point and why should we care?
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2 weeks ago

@petergreen1 I happen to think that The Sims and Football Manager are great games. So really you're once again just saying that your tastes don't align that closely with the reviews of this website, to which the rest of us must surely respond: WHY SHOULD WE GIVE A CRAP ABOUT YOUR OPINIONS PETER GREEN? Why are you so self obsessed that you felt some internet strangers and an international video games business give even the slightest shit that you exist and have opinions?

Wouldn't it have been easier just to sod off to another website that more closely aligns with your crap opinions and spare us your boring whining?
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2 weeks ago

@ricpamiwor I actually agree with him. I've long been concerned that the reviews on this website aren't being written with Peter Green in mind. Sure, the reviews I find to be generally reliable for ME, but maybe my tastes have been warned by EG propaganda. I'm just another easily swayed sheep, not a powerhouse of consistency like Peter Green. All we ask is that the reviews are run by Peter Green first to check that they're consistent with his stalwart opinions. VIVA PETERGREENGAMER!
23 4

A Way Out review - humdrum crime with a co-op twist

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3 weeks ago

@night_swim If you can tell me one other thing they are I'll be impressed. Reviews are entirely one person's opinion, otherwise they'd be some kind of summary of all reviews, which would of course have had to be people's opinions. So who gets to have the opinion that defines the zeitgeist opinion?
8 3

Pokémon Go still has the power to bring people together

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2 months ago

I enjoyed this event on an open top tourist bus around Brussels.

Loads of Dratini without interacting with a single stranger. Bliss!
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Rust is leaving Early Access next month after four years in development

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3 months ago

I'm so pleased that the game's ready* now

*for a price rise, not to play
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Speedrunning Mario has transformed the way I play games

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3 months ago

On the one hand I think this is a massive waste of time and way too frustrating to be worthwhile.

On the other hand I loved Trials: HD, which is essentially Speedrunning: The Game.

The instant restarts and only minutes long runs definitely factor into that though.
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HTC announces "premium" Vive Pro VR headset with higher resolution display

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3 months ago

@mushi_mush Certain breeds will hog the headset apparently
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Nearly 18 months later, Pokémon Go just held the game's best ever event

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5 months ago

@RawShark i suppose so. For me, I just want all of the Pokemon which, despite playing every day, I'm nowhere near to achieving.

I'm a sufficiently high level with a sufficiently large cache of stardust that that's not too appealing. I want more (some!) 10k eggs. I also want a Legendary without having to engage with strangers.
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5 months ago

@tomphillipsEG Well, people increasingly *don't* vote in elections, and most of us who do know our votes have made no difference. We do so out of a mixture of hope and duty (I would guess). But I find it a lot easier to hope when my vote is one amongst 30,000 rather than 30 in three billion.

But, tbf, though I play every day you're clearly way deeper into the community than me, so maybe there was much more grass roots Momentum-style movement going on there. But for me it just happened in the background and I got a Farfetch'd.
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5 months ago

I mean, it's not the best event really, is it? Farfetch'd is nice but a single person can't make even a tiny dent into a three billion target so where's the incentive to do so. I assume the three billion caught is either a pretty standard amount or a lie.
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Share your favourite moments from Obsidian games and win consoles!

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8 months ago

I like the part in Tyranny where you press triangle. I fucking love pressing triangle.
0 0

The cult of Fire Pro Wrestling

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9 months ago

Please tell me that Suda 51 isn't Japanese? I've just had to look up 'apotheosis' and would hate to think he knows my native language better than I do
7 0

Pokémon Go Fest attendees must unlock "major global reward" for players worldwide

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9 months ago

Stop trying to make me play Pokemon where other people can see me and might talk to me!
1 0

Liberty City in GTA5 mod shut down

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10 months ago

/eagerly awaiting release of Bonic The Bedgebog
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You'll never see a Game Over screen in Super Mario Odyssey

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10 months ago

I probably still will.
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Robert Yang's The Tearoom appeals to censors by swapping cocks for glocks

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10 months ago

@1rafayal You've just referred to homosexual men meeting for what were, at the time, illegal liasons as a 'grubby practice'.

That's one way.

The other, and the one that I was initially alluding to, is that many games deal with unusual concepts and I'm sure you have no problem and no mystification as to why people might be impressed by them. You're only concerned because this deals with 'grubby practices'

I'm sure you've enjoyed a GTA game in your time, for example, and that's full of what you might call 'grubby practices'.
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10 months ago

@1rafayal Why are you so impressed by a game where eleven men kick a football about or six people team up to kill people or a man with a strange shaped head rolls a ball and keeps rolling the ball so that it picks up objects in the ball until the time runs out?

/aware of homophobic undertone in your post
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Are we all living in a video game?

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11 months ago

I can't go on
I can't go on
Cos you look so freaking beautiful
No wait it's because I'm walking on a treadmill let me just turn this off here great now let me see if I can go on yes i can it obviously had nothing to do with how beautiful you are actually in hindsight that was probably a metaphor but no really you're bang average and clearly I prefer the company of men anyway
7 3

Pokémon Go cheaters complain they're being punished with Pidgeys

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11 months ago

I was firmly against these trackers, considering them cheating and ruining the fun. I still do.

But needing only a Snorlax to have finished gen 1 and using a tracker to help me find it it's become starkly apparent that my chances of bumping into a Snorlax are virtually nil.

I know Niantic would rather I hunt forever and pump money into the game but...I'm not going to do that. I'm going to find Snorlax, even if it kills me (and in over a month of using a tracker I've only seen one within a bus ride), and I'm going to stop.

It's Niantic that spoiled the fun by making it so hard to find these rarer Pokemon (and never giving me effing 10k eggs!)
0 0

Classic FM to launch a new video game music show

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1 year ago

This will surely be terrible? Football Manager Classic doesn't even have any music
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10-hour trial of Mass Effect Andromeda out five days before launch

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1 year ago

I wish I could pay a monthly subscription to play a game five days earlier!
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Attack on Titan: Wings of Freedom review

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2 years ago

That face in the headline image is going to haunt my nightmares.
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NX is different, and different is Nintendo's best option

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2 years ago

No doubt they'll ruin the whole endeavour by calling it the 'Wii You' or something equally indistinct.
21 4

That time I was blacklisted by Sega while editing a Sega magazine

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2 years ago

Too blacklisted to DCUK
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In Theory: Can next-gen Nvidia tech offer Titan X power for GTX 970 money?

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2 years ago

I think like trends it'll loop back around and be as powerful as my GTX570.
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Amazon marks GTA5, FIFA 16, Minecraft and more as "exclusively for Prime members"

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2 years ago

I can't imagine a meeting that this suggestion wasn't laughed out of.
20 1

Sega to support Mega Drive game mods via Steam

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2 years ago

@Mister_Vimes Altered Beast or altered Altered Beast?
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Gone Home console review

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2 years ago

I played this and thought it was really rather turd. It was a bit like Lost in that it kept pulling you in with suggestions of excitement and intrigue to come but then it absolutely does not come through on any of it.
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Half-Life writer Marc Laidlaw leaves Valve

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2 years ago

Probably tired of being Laidlaw for so long
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Intel Skylake: Core i3 6100 review

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3 years ago

I always struggle with the correct grammar for lists within text. Nonetheless, would anybody have done this sentence differently as I doesn't look right to me:
The boost to Skylake's raw capabilities comes from a number of factors - firstly that the processor features two generational improvements over its direct predecessor, Haswell (Broadwell only received a limited desktop release) and secondly that the standard DDR3 system RAM is replaced by DDR4, meaning higher levels of memory bandwidth.
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Microsoft Flight Simulator X is coming to Steam next week

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3 years ago

Give us Ilomilo too, Microsoft! I feel sad that that lovely little game is stuck on my Xbox Live profile
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Watch Dogs PC recommended specs are pretty tasty

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4 years ago

I have a GTX570 which is about three years old and the answer to the thread title is... apparently yes! They can't be that high specs if my graphics card that I perceive to be fairly old is still holding on.
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Gorgeous Mario Kart 8 retro tracks compared to originals

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4 years ago

If these tracks are remakes why are they different?

And if they're different to the old tracks, how are they the same?

I loved the SNES and N64 versions but these just look sanitised. No danger and no challenge. Just another step in Mario Kart's evolution from genuinely good racer to a 'family fun' game.

/not bitter
4 3

Roflpillar is a two-player caterpillar sim

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4 years ago

Plus a billion points for the Always Sunny reference.
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Not a Hero is like a 2D Vanquish

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4 years ago

The implication of the phrase 'takes Hotline Miami and adds oodles of style' is that Hotline Miami is somehow lacking in style, which is most definitely not true.
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Cut the Rope dev hopes to cancel King's "candy" trademark

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4 years ago

You come at King you best not miss.

edit - ah come on this deserves better than minus one! I hope everyone has just missed the Wire reference
8 5

Far Cry 4 set in the Himalayas, has ridable elephants

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4 years ago

If it's anything like the movie Cliffhanger I'm in.
2 1

Trials Fusion closed PC beta announced

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4 years ago

If the Evolution PC performance is really as bad as I've heard then I'd have liked to have been in this beta to see if the new game is actually up to scratch
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10 Second Ninja review

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4 years ago

And my love life often involves a ninja.
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As Monster Hunter turns 10, can Capcom finally make the west listen?

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4 years ago

I bet Microsoft and Sony wish they were able to score exclusives just because the developer couldn't be arsed to make the game for anyone else. Much cheaper for them.
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Why the PC version of Titanfall is a 48GB install

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4 years ago

And to think Westlife's greatest hits comes in at only 120 Mb.
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Face-Off: Dark Souls 2

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4 years ago

@Malek86 I did. 99% of the time it was fine but there were occasions in the first game where momentarily the input lag could be measured in seconds rather than milliseconds.
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Rocksteady reveals Batman: Arkham Knight in detail

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4 years ago

Tara Strong Charley sounds like bidding farewell to an erection.
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Banished review

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4 years ago

@eozgonul

c) Forget the bloody score! Read the text!

d) 'Hammering down?' The conclusion is this: '
I liked playing Banished. It was complex, but never fiddly, difficult, but rarely cruel, though it would benefit from a little more transparency. But as soon as I had a handle on it, as soon as I'd started to see through some of the fog of its complexity, I wanted to grasp for something bigger, something greater. Banished is satisfying, but never spectacular. That's not quite enough for me.'

If you think that's 'hammering down' you must be incredibly precious.

e) Do you think people play Football Manager when they're bored of it? Do you think they sit there bashing their heads against the desk after the tenth season of their third different playthrough just desperate to go outside? No, they do it because they're ENTERTAINED by the game. It keeps them ENTERTAINED LONGER. The game has more longevity because it keeps players ENTERTAINED LONGER. Do you see now that I'm using your language that this is what you were saying?

f) As above but if you want you can replace 'ENTERTAINED LONGER' with 'REPLAYING THE SAME GAME OVER AND OVER' if you like. However so you don't think I'm saying something that you weren't I should establish the link again for you. People REPLAY THE SAME GAME OVER AND OVER because they enjoy it. If they REPLAY THE SAME GAME OVER AND OVER for longer than the 20 odd hours of a Mario 3D World playthrough then it has kept them ENTERTAINED LONGER.

You also specifically cited Thief as having no replayabiliy and used that as a negative with the obvious implication that this game has replayability and is therefore better for it. Here's what you said:

'If a $20 title gets me entertaining more than 20 hours with a fair bit of replayability than a $50 title with no replayability at all, assuming you could continue playing to see the end of it, you can not give them the same score'

Besides, if you're querying the score at the end for being as low as a six whilst praising the replayability you can clearly see in the review text that the reviewer disagrees with you. It doesn't mean he's right, but it does make his opinion different to yours:

'I do mind that, after maybe a weekend's worth of play, there's nothing else to do with your best village. Banished has complexity and intelligence etched into the gears that grind inside it, but it doesn't have longevity. A safe, stable village is all you can ever really hope to create and, should you want to keep its population growing, you'll only ever be building more farms, more blacksmiths, more houses. When Banished is done being hard, it becomes repetitive, relying on random events to disrupt the status quo.'

g) Price is not a factor in a review. Prices change and value for money is hugely subjective. If one game is 40 hours long and another is 30 minutes long and they are both on sale for Ł40 at the same price and are both equally as good per minute of play, which do you buy? Well, it sounds like you'd buy the longer game, as would I. Or maybe you buy both. Do you really think Cristiano Ronaldo is out there thinking 'Hmmm, Ł40 is a bit steep for only 30 minutes of play?' He couldn't care less; he's loaded. The mistake you're making is beautifully typical of the sense of entitlement amongst gamers. This review ISN'T FOR YOU. It's for EVERYONE.

h) This is what a six means, taken verbatim for Eurogamer's scoring policy:

'A game scored six is 'good', and many of its audience will enjoy it, but approach with caution. It's not good enough to consider rushing out and buying without a fair bit of research first, but worth a rental if your curiosity demands it, and, depending on taste and tolerance of certain issues, it might be something you wouldn't be ashamed to have bought. Six isn't a disastrous score by any means - it's the first score on the way up to represent what we'd deem as a 'good' game, that had the potential to be great but was sufficiently flawed in crucial areas.
More specifically, games which are maybe very derivative (of others or themselves) and nowhere near as good as their rivals but still enjoyable on their own merits will regularly score sixes on Eurogamer. It's the score that shrugs, "Yeah, it's all right, but compared to X it's not technically as polished, the story's so-so, and it's not quite as much fun to play". It could be that it's a quick-fire, cash-in sequel, which is virtually a carbon copy of the previous game with new levels and yet costs just as much. This is something we're definitely not fond of seeing at EG, and although newcomers to the series may argue this doesn't apply to them, we'll try at least make this clear. But we don't review games in isolation; we review in the context of the series and how they measure up against their rivals. Maybe it's the sort of game with a great deal of promise that ended up being released prematurely, and is a little rough around the edges with camera and control issues, technical shortcomings, difficulty spikes that make certain sections harder than they probably should be. You get the picture. Considered by some people as rough diamonds, and will pick up a lot of affection from the more forgiving gamer, but definitely not for everyone.'

Not 'average' then. 'Good.'

i) Yes, well spotted. 'Second, taking a different approach might turn good or bad. This one is good...' Well that's me convinced. Terrific reasoning. The reviews praise Titanfall for being different AND GOOD. Different doesn't necessarily mean good. Although as we saw from the six score AND the text the reviewer does think this game is good so what's your point? My point was that simply being different means nothing, so you mentioning it in defence of the game was a pointless waste of words. Which is a wonderfully fitting way to end this post.
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4 years ago

@2late2die Either question the reviewers competence or take your well reasoned arguments elsewhere!
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4 years ago

@eozgonul A few points:

a) There is no 'Eurogamer opinion'. The Thief review and the the Banished review are the opinions of two different people

b) What's a number at the end? Read the text

c) The Thief reviewer highlights a number of issues with the gameplay and bugs and such

d) Reviewers should highlight problems and suggest improvements for all games in their reviews where they see them, including this one

e) Longevity is one factor, it is not everything. Is Football Manager a better game than Portal because it lasts longer

f) Replayability is one factor, it is not everything. Is Call of Duty: Ghosts a better game than Super Mario 3D World because it's got replayable multiplayer?

g) Price is not a factor at all. As I mentioned in an earlier post the reviewer can't consider price. You might only be able to afford a $20 game whereas Alan Sugar could afford to buy something like Dark Souls which has generally been much better received by critics. I on the other hand might only have $10. Should I get myself into debt to play this game? Should the review be rewritten when the price drops? All that matters is how good it is.

h) If we are to take numbers at the end of reviews being of any significance maybe this was scored correctly and it was Thief that was overrated? Why is it this score that's wrong?

f) A game taking 'a different approach' isn't worthy of a higher rating either. All the matters is how good the game is. A different approach to FPS games would be to have no guns and make the winner the person who jumps up and down the most times in a minute. That's a different approach. It's also however a different approach that sounds rubbish.
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4 years ago

@Bosthian Why's it a bad review? Why do you think the game is 1.5 better?
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4 years ago

@DavePs Well you don't get it as I haven't played it I think it looks promising. In all likelihood I'll buy it when it's a bit cheaper. What I said was nothing to do with my opinion of this game and everything to do with your opinion of this 'poorly written' review, a point you've again failed to back up with any evidence.
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4 years ago

@saber45 Well yes but the original poster was using Thief as the comparison which is why I was talking about Thief at all.
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