Tecmo Classic Arcade

Tecmo Classic Arcade

Tecmo Classic Arcade

Everyone else is doing it, so why can't Tecmo?

There's only so much nostalgia any balanced human being should be subjected to at any one time. Before long, the numbers involved start to compute in your increasingly frazzled brain and it slowly dawns on you that a quarter of a century has passed since these games blooped and bleeped away in that smoky old arcade you used to frequent.

But when it comes to the Tecmo Classic Arcade collection, the feeling isn't so much one of nostalgia, but of incredulity that anyone in their right minds could abuse the word 'classic' with some of these also-rans. Without any fear of contradiction, this is easily one of the worst retro collections we've ever had the misfortune to cross paths with.

Tackling the releases chronologically, the compilation kicks off with a run-of-the-mill Galaga clone called Pleiads (and no, we've no idea how to pronounce that, either). Carbon-dated to 1981, it's one of those done-to-death shooters where wave upon wave of scary space invaders swoop down at you in relatively predictable patterns, showering you with bullets. It's proper old-school 'one bullet and you're dead', in the days when continues weren't even invented and you were grateful for three lives. Apparently, playability was off the menu, too, as next to the eternal majesty of Namco's bona-fide classic this comes across as a hollow facsimile with little charm of its own.

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