Not even Superman could avert this disaster.
Delayed by six months to get the game up to standard, EA's Tiburon studio has turned out arguably the worst superhero game since... probably the last legendarily terrible N64 Superman game back in 1999.
It's a game so mind-numbingly lacking in so many fundamental ways, it's hard to put your finger on how a company with the talent and resources of EA could turn out such a turkey. But we'll try.
Judging by my friends-list activity some of you have already spotted this, but there's a demo version of Electronic Arts' Superman Returns on Xbox Live Marketplace at the moment.
This summer will see the return of Superman to the big screen, complete with a new cast, a new storyline and a new script (though there will probably still be a bit where he struggles with the superhero's eternal predicament of having to conceal the fact that you can make lasers come out of your eyes from the person you're trying to get off with). Inevitably, the movie's release will be accompanied by the launch of a videogame tie-in - and Electronic Arts is doing the honours, bringing the man of steel to PS2, PSP, Xbox, Xbox 360, GBA and Nintendo DS.
EA's decided to delay Superman Returns and Medal of Honor: Airborne in order to deliver a higher quality of game, according to veepee Frank Gibeau.
New details have emerged of EA's forthcoming PS2 and Xbox film tie-in, Superman Returns: The Videogame, which is due to hit stores this summer.
The sprawling metropolis of, er, Metropolis is apparently being 'brought to life' in the game for the first time, thanks to a 'go anywhere, do anything' gameplay mechanic that lets you explore all 80 square miles of the place at your leisure and most definitely hasn't been been inspired by GTA. No sir.
Why not take a stroll through the park and toy with some petty thieves before burning them to the ground with your Heat Vision, perhaps? Or pick up some hot gossip from the locals with your Super Hearing, then ruin some small child's fun by freezing a burst fire hydrant with your powerful Super Breath? It's all in a day's work for the mighty Superman.