Tricks of the Reviewer's Trade #116: Start the review with an out-of-context description of a seemingly bizarre but ultimately representative gameplay moment, highlighting the absurdity of the game's premise and/or presentation.
Example: My towering condominium is leaning at an alarming angle. There are three bombs ticking away at various points along its height, and my anxiety is not helped by the fact that Boat Head, a giant radioactive crab, and Reginald Starfire, a giant blue unicorn who used to front a boy band but now works for a self-esteem telephone hotline, are standing to either side of my building, demanding to be fed. If I don't feed them in time, or feed them the wrong thing, they'll have a massive strop and my condo structure will be toppled in the ensuing tantrum. Game over.
Luckily, I feed Boat Head a diamond which makes everyone fall asleep, then shovel some blue condos into Reginald's mouth which causes three yellow condo floors to fall together and form a bronze power-up, which I then feed to Reginald causing the tower to straighten up. Disaster averted, I calmly pocket several million points and continue to build.