Spuzzell Comments

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  • The Order: 1886 review

  • Spuzzell 19/02/2015


    I think a large part of the venom is that there has been SO MUCH shit talked by Sony fanboys over the last few months at anyone who has predicted this exact outcome.

    I'm not in any way gloating because - as most people have said all along - it would have been nice if this game was good, but I can't help but be glad that the Sony fanboy idiots who have been so vocally aggressive about this title towards me are now having to have a little think about themselves.
    Reply +6
  • Spuzzell 19/02/2015

    I feel bad for anyone who pre-ordered this, but honestly, you only have yourselves to blame.

    If you read anything about this game during its development then you could have predicted these reviews weeks ago.

    Most of us did exactly that in various comment threads.
    Reply +2
  • Ready at Dawn responds to concern over The Order: 1886 campaign length

  • Spuzzell 16/02/2015


    People keep claiming "hatred", but there isn't any!

    There's people like me who have read the previews and watched gameplay and seen the dev interviews and then said "meh, it looks pretty but uninspired, I might rent it", and then there's the crazy fanboy people who go batshit mental because someone has dared to claim this might not be the best game ever.

    Despite no-one having actually played it. Or read a review.

    It's.. odd. But the crazy is coming from the "fans" of the game, not the normal people who, having read and watched and seen the signs think it doesn't sound like everything has gone well with this title.
    Reply +1
  • Spuzzell 16/02/2015


    I'm forever astonished at the boneheaded, childish stupidity of console fanboys.

    Even so. Kudos on nailing the stereotype so exactly.

    I don't understand why you bother reading articles here if all you are prepared to read is fawning praise.

    Surely there's an official Sony magazine or website that doesn't upset you by pointing out things they don't like in games you've decided, based on NOTHING, cannot be anything but brilliant?
    Reply 0
  • Spuzzell 16/02/2015


    EVERY preview has a critical assessment of the game being played!

    Otherwise it's just a press release.

    Look, you're obviously emotionally invested in this title but there is no conspiracy for gods sake, people who've played it are simply concerned that it's not very good.

    And all EG said was not to buy it until the final reviews were in.. advice which should be followed on ALL games.
    Reply -1
  • Spuzzell 16/02/2015


    Eurogamer played the game and then recommended waiting for final reviews.

    I don't get why you think that's wrong, surely playing a game then giving their readers an opinion on it is EXACTLY what is supposed to happen?
    Reply 0
  • Spuzzell 16/02/2015


    I don't see hate. Just a lot of people who've all read the same worrying previews.

    I haven't seen a single article on this game that's been entirely positive.
    Reply +4
  • Spuzzell 16/02/2015

    QTEs and interactive cutscenes just shriek "meh" to me. They weren't fun in 2005. Now they aren't fun and are also old.

    The reviews of this will be interesting. EVERYTHING I've read about it does suggest a bad game in an immaculate Saville Row suit.

    Try telling that to any Sony fanboy though.
    Reply +11
  • Rich Stanton on: Requiem for a dreamer

  • Spuzzell 14/02/2015


    I've thought he was a puffed up blow hard for years, but how the hell does him staying in a nice hotel and tweeting have anything to do with.. ANYTHING?

    Seriously. What the hell?
    Reply +1
  • David Cameron has visited the maker of Train Simulator

  • Spuzzell 11/02/2015


    Not doing political stuff here my man, it's just.. no.

    One person destroyed things, and one person is in the unpopular process of cleaning up the mess, and doing it so well that the house is getting better faster than any of the other houses on the street.

    Anyone who says they'd prefer the destroyer is either insane, or completely blinded by imagined party solidarity.

    If you aren't a Labour die-hard then they are, by any objective decision making process, unelectable.
    Reply 0
  • Spuzzell 11/02/2015


    This isn't a political forum, and I'm not political.

    But the previous Labour government:

    - had over 12 years used up all the minister level quality they had

    - took us into three wars,

    - and bankrupted the economy with both criminally lax financial sector oversight and in-affordable spending plans.

    It's still the exact same tired, third-rate people in charge at the Labour party, with the EXACT same plans.

    God knows I don't want them back until that's changed, and I'm astounded anyone else does.
    Reply -6
  • Spuzzell 11/02/2015

    Our economy is doing amazingly, by the way.

    It's so pathetic to see gamers responding to positive attention from the political elite with abuse and thoughtless cheapness.

    Way to break the stereotype, guys. Way to gain the respect and attention our billion pound industry deserves.

    You fucking morons.
    Reply -12
  • Shelter 2 delayed (again) until March

  • Spuzzell 11/02/2015

    Oh god the baby badger killing nightmare inducer is back? Reply +1
  • Nintendo reveals 25 minutes of Xenoblade Chronicles X footage

  • Spuzzell 06/02/2015


    Sorry, shareholder money? What are you even talking about?

    What I said up there isn't opinion or analysis. It's facts and numbers.

    Nintendo make LOADS of money when they sell to a small captive install base, and FUCKLOADS of money when they sell to a large captive install base.

    Every Nintendo console ever has made money on its own, and then on top of that Nintendo make the games that everyone who has that Nintendo console wants to buy. They create a captive market and then milk the shit out of it.

    Sony and Microsoft might think they're winning the game, but the plain fact is Nintendo aren't playing that game, they are playing their own game.. and they ALWAYS win.
    Reply +18
  • Spuzzell 06/02/2015


    It's only ever clueless people who want Nintendo to go third party.

    And Nintendo aren't having a bad time! They're already immensely cash rich, and making more money. All they have to do is sell 15 million consoles and then they're guaranteed to make £20,000,000+ in sales on every first party title they ever make.

    It's a cash printing press, why people think Nintendo would willingly give that up just to make money for Sony or Microsoft instead is beyond me.
    Reply +17
  • Spuzzell 06/02/2015

    Oh shiiiit.

    I don't want to have to play with other people, can someone who speaks Japanese please confirm that its only optional?

    I really don't understand why you'd want to play a story driven character based hero game with other people.

    It utterly ruins any sense of immersion in the world, the same way some dickhead talking to you in a cinema or while you're reading a book does.
    Reply +5
  • Sunless Sea review

  • Spuzzell 06/02/2015


    Seriously, stop.

    You're an idiot, just so you know.

    You have no insight and you're not smarter than anyone else.

    Stop deluding yourself, kay?
    Reply +8
  • Spuzzell 06/02/2015

    Yay! Ho to Humble Bundle, where it's £12.49!

    edit: Anyone else having PayPal issues? Been stuck on the "waiting for PayPal" popup window for 6 minutes now.

    edit2: It's not PayPal, the payment is listed in my account as made. It's clearly a Humble issue. Maybe don't get it from Humble just at the moment!
    Reply +3
  • League of Legends tournament openly discriminates against LGBT players

  • Spuzzell 04/02/2015

    Maybe there's been a rash of guys pretending to be transgender girls to try and win what are supposed to be female only competitions?

    It seems a bit unlikely that a competition that's open minded enough to;
    A: have a female only set-up in the first place, and;
    B: Has zero issue with LBGT people being in every team - would then decide to be homophobic. But only to the second transgender on a team.
    Reply +12
  • Deactivated Ubisoft game keys were bought from EA's Origin using stolen credit cards

  • Spuzzell 28/01/2015


    OK seriously, are you a complete moron?

    Why bother talking crap when you so obviously have no idea what you're talking about? The law is perfectly clear on this.

    Honestly, people are SO stupid.
    Reply -1
  • Spuzzell 28/01/2015


    Because intentionally benefiting from the sale of stolen goods is a crime.

    If Ubisoft profit from goods they know to be stolen they can (and almost certainly would be) prosecuted.

    This whole story is hot air bullshit, there's only one thing Ubisoft could do in cancelling the keys... and it's pleasingly the right thing to do.

    Stolen goods being sold hurts everyone, they can't be permitted to have a value.
    Reply +8
  • Ubisoft deactivating keys it says were "fraudulently" obtained and resold

  • Spuzzell 26/01/2015


    I don't care if you think all those games are boring and crap.

    Maybe you LIKE playing the same thing over and over rather than the wide variety of quality Ubi have sent out the last few years.

    But you don't think that those games are boring and crap, because you can't. Because they aren't boring and crap.

    You're just being a little sheep, and now you're crying because you've been called on it.
    Reply -2
  • Spuzzell 26/01/2015


    These are uPlay keys bought with stolen credit cards and then resold to gamers that are being cancelled, hard to say anyone's at fault here other than the person who stole the credit card.

    You can't sell stolen goods in any business, Ubi have to stop the keys once they are told they were stolen or Ubi are also breaking the law.
    Reply 0
  • Spuzzell 26/01/2015


    "ubisoft bad dull because uplay, hurdur" isn't an opinion.

    "all ubisoft games same, hurdur" isn't an opinion either.. at least not one based on anything remotely connected to reality.

    I didn't bother with Assassins Creed Unity or Watchdogs because they sounded very familiar to me, but Far Cry 4 is great, Child of Light and Rayman are great, South Park was triumphant, Valiant Hearts was.. I don't even know how to describe that game, Trials Fusion was great and Blood Dragon was brilliant.

    Your brain is retarded if you think those titles are similar to each other or to anything else.

    You can be as sheeplike and tabloid thinking as you like, but if you do it here, where people actually know what they're talking about, you'll get told you're a moron.

    You're a moron. Grow your own opinions, little boy.
    Reply -9
  • Spuzzell 26/01/2015


    Yeah? Because you'll be trying them.
    Reply -2
  • Spuzzell 26/01/2015


    That's such a stupid thing to say. Grow up, man.
    Reply -5
  • Spuzzell 26/01/2015


    (Far Cry 4 is great. Rayman is AWESOME. Child of Light is wonderful. Don't be a herd following dick, you'll miss out)
    Reply +1
  • Gearbox hiring for Borderlands 3

  • Spuzzell 26/01/2015


    What? MMO? Why? Can't we just keep it as a game?
    Reply +8
  • Ubisoft reveals experimental PC platformer Grow Home

  • Spuzzell 23/01/2015

    Yeah, fuck Ubisoft for doing something interesting and different. Assholes. Reply +62
  • Human Element on "hiatus" as Robotoki shuts down

  • Spuzzell 20/01/2015

    Were people excited about this? It looks like supermarket ownbrand Borderlands crossed with supermarket ownbrand Rage.

    I just read the 2012 article and that sounds more interesting, but the trailer video here just reeks of meh.
    Reply +9
  • Resident Evil HD Remaster review

  • Spuzzell 20/01/2015


    That only works if the game gives you the slightest chance of working out what you'll need.

    Which RE does not.

    Bad design does not equal a difficult game.

    Bad design equals a badly designed game.
    Reply -8
  • Google Glass is being removed from sale

  • Spuzzell 15/01/2015

    While I've never seen Glass as anything but stupid, this absolutely does not mean the project is ended.

    The Google X division (where Glass was being run from) develops new ideas and hardware, and then once the hardware is mature they "graduate" the project and it stands on its own. That's all that's happened here, Google Glass has moved out of R&D and is now running itself.

    It's still (in my opinion) a dead end technology, but this is the opposite of the project being cancelled.
    Reply +3
  • Xbox One vs PlayStation 4: Year One

  • Spuzzell 22/12/2014

    Yep, as an outside impartial observer this article summarizes exactly how I've felt about the two new consoles. There's just no real difference, to the extent that faceoffs are now irrelevant. I reached my limit with the article entitled: "GTA 5's next-gen grass compared". Seriously.

    PC + Wii U = perfection IMHO. Either of the other consoles is fine if you don't have a gaming PC. Whichever is cheaper.
    Reply -2
  • Don't call it DRM: what's Denuvo Anti-Tamper?

  • Spuzzell 20/12/2014


    I'm sorry, the company have to prove to you that the baseless accusation is false?

    The complete lack of evidence that anything Denuvo does adversely affects a drive, the fact that there's literally no reason for a masking program to ever access your SSD and the independent analysis from EG, PC Gamer etc etc aside, Denuvo simply don't have to disprove anything made up by butt hurt pirates.

    The only reason to care about DRM is if you want to pirate but it won't let you. Steam, UPlay and Origin just quietly sit in your taskbar, taking up no resources and needing no attention.

    It's easier BY FAR to start Steam and click on a game to install and play it than it is to pirate the same game.
    Reply -2
  • CVG to close

  • Spuzzell 19/12/2014


    *ARE the future
    Reply +1
  • Spuzzell 19/12/2014

    It was coming, the last few years the whole feel of the site was changing gradually yet constantly for the worse and quality was way down.

    I'm sorry for the staff but I personally won't miss the site, I've already been sad about C&VG disappearing a couple of years ago.
    Reply -1
  • Ubisoft delays Assassin's Creed: Unity's next major patch

  • Spuzzell 17/12/2014


    Christ on a bike that pop-in is AWFUL.

    (shlaaaaags link retweet)

    Reply +2
  • Interplay breaks months of silence with Kickstarter for Freespace board game

  • Spuzzell 16/12/2014


    Ok, seriously. You need to stop because you're beyond parody now.

    You're Russell Brand, using words and phrases you don't properly understand but like the sound of to argue with people who aren't arguing with you.

    You're thinking you're scoring points and making a contribution to a discussion when all you're actually doing is shouting unfinished and illogical thoughts at the sea.

    No-one cares or even bothers to properly read your sub-student paper standard prose.

    You're wrong because you just ARE wrong.
    Reply 0
  • Spuzzell 15/12/2014


    What you are asking for is manifestly impossible.

    And when it was gently pointed out to you that what you were asking for was impossible, you threw your toys out of your pram and started stamping your feet, calling people arrogant and condescending. Hilariously, considering the tone of your posts.

    Basically, shh.
    Reply -1
  • Spuzzell 15/12/2014


    I'm sure it could be simplified, but when you do that its a completely different game.

    That's like saying you can simplify a fully featured aircraft simulator with all its switches and controls into Afterburner with a single joystick and it's the same game.

    Freespace is complex because the game is based around controlling a complex ship. The shooting and story is background, the actual game is flying the ship.

    Simplified and on a pad.. you lose all that.
    Reply -1
  • Spuzzell 12/12/2014


    There's absolutely NO WAY Freespace could work on a pad :-)

    The gameplay would need to be changed and simplified so much to make pad control feasible that it would be a completely different game.

    From a previous post I wrote:

    Here's the list of keyboard commands. You use them all in just about every mission. And I also use a gamepad at the same time.

    T - Target next ship
    Shift-T - Target previous ship
    Alt-T - Turn off auto-target
    H - Target nearest hostile ship
    Shift-H - Target previous hostile ship
    Alt-H - Toggle auto-targeting
    F - Target nearest friendly ship
    Shift-F - Target previous friendly ship
    Y - Target ship in reticule
    G - Target nearest attacker
    Alt-Y - Target last ship to send a transmission
    U - Target next un-inspected cargo
    Shift-U - Target previous un-inspected cargo
    N - Target newest ship in area
    B - Target nearest hostile bomb/bomber
    Shift-B - Target previous hostile bomb/bomber
    K - Target next live turret
    V - Target subsystem in reticule
    S - Target next subsystem
    Shift-S - Target previous subsystem
    Alt-S - Turn off auto-targeting of subsystems
    R - Target closest attacking ship
    J - Target target's target
    E - Target next ship in the escort list
    Alt-R - Target nearest support ship


    A - Increase forward thrust
    Z - Decrease forward thrust (reverse thrust)
    Pad 7 - Bank left (rotate left)
    Pad 9 - Bank right (rotate right)
    Pad 8 - Pitch forward
    Pad 2 - Pitch backward
    Pad 4 - Turn left
    Pad 6 - Turn right
    Backspace - Set throttle to zero
    \ - Set throttle to max
    [ - Set throttle to one third
    ] - Set throttle to two thirds
    = - Increase throttle by 5%
    - - Decrease throttle by 5%
    Tab - Engage afterburner


    Left CTRL - Fire primary weapons (cannons)
    Space Bar - Fire secondary weapons (missiles)
    . - Cycle forward through primary weapons, and single and dual
    fire modes
    , - Cycle backwards through primary weapons, and single and dual
    fire modes
    / - Cycle through secondary weapon banks
    Shift-/ - Cycle secondary weapon fire rate (single and double fire
    X - Launch countermeasure


    M - Match target's speed
    Alt-M - Toggle auto-speed matching
    Shift-A - Order: Attack my target
    Shift-Z - Order: Disarm my target
    Shift-D - Order: Disable my target
    Shift-V - Order: Attack my targeted subsystem
    Shift-X - Order: Capture my target
    Shift-E - Order: Engage enemy
    Shift-W - Order: Form on my wing
    Shift-I - Order: Ignore my target
    Shift-P - Order: Protect my target
    Shift-C - Order: Cover me
    Shift-J - Order: Return to base
    Shift-R - Order: Rearm me
    Pad * - Chase view
    Pad . - External view
    Pad Enter - Toggle external camera lock
    Pad 0 - Free look view
    Pad / - Current target view
    Pad + - Increase view distance
    Pad - - Decrease view distance
    Pad 5 - Centre view
    ' - Cycle radar ranges
    C - Open communications window
    Alt-J - Engage jump drive
    Insert - Increase weapon energy
    Delete - Decrease weapon energy
    Home - Increase shield energy
    End - Decrease shield energy
    Page Up - Increase engine energy
    Page Down - Decrease engine energy
    Alt-D - Equalise energy settings
    Q - Equalise shield settings (all quadrants)
    Up Arrow - Augment forward shield
    Down Arrow - Augment rearward shield
    Left Arrow - Augment left shield
    Right Arrow - Augment right shield
    Scroll Lock - Transfer energy (Laser -> Shield)
    Shift-Scroll Lock - Transfer energy (Shield -> Laser)
    Alt-E - Add/Remove ship from escort list
    Alt-Shift-E - Clear escort list
    Shift-. - Increase time compression
    Shift-, - Decrease time compression
    L - Toggle high HUD contrast
    Reply +2
  • Controversial mass murdering game Hatred appears on Steam Greenlight

  • Spuzzell 15/12/2014


    I'm fine, thanks.

    Don't get angry, that's not me banning your reply, just exercising my freedom to not look at it.
    Reply +6
  • Spuzzell 15/12/2014


    It's not banned, Steam just decided not to sell it. Freedom works for the shop too, not just the game designers.
    Reply +27
  • Spuzzell 15/12/2014

    I don't like the tone of this game at all, but you can't only be in favour of free speech if its being used to say things you agree with.

    Basically, the game designers should be free to make whatever game they like within our societal limits.

    And we should all be free to either buy it not.

    And Steam should be free to either sell it on their website or not.

    Seems to me the system is working, to be honest.
    Reply +14
  • Video: Why you might not want to pre-order The Order

  • Spuzzell 13/12/2014


    Holy shit, cry like a baby some more.
    Reply -5
  • Spuzzell 12/12/2014

    On topic:

    The graphics are utterly fantastic. I LOVE the setting. I love the moustaches. I love the upper class English accents.

    The gameplay looks incredibly generic though. You could swap the character models out for the ones from Xcom: The Bureau and it wouldn't be a shock, except for the constant QT(press triangle for E)Es.

    Also.. the crosshairs don't fit the setting at all.
    Reply 0
  • Spuzzell 12/12/2014

    Holy crap there's some butthurt fanboys here.

    Personally if I was a PS4 gamer I would be delighted to be informed early on by someone who HAS ACTUALLY PLAYED IT if a game looked a little dodgy and to avoid pre-ordering.

    Surely that's why you're ON A REVIEW SITE.

    Honestly, some people are morons.

    Reply -22
  • Get every Batman: Arkham game on Steam for $10

  • Spuzzell 12/12/2014

    ........ oh, fuck it, why not. Reply +8
  • Steam Holiday Sale starts 18th December, 6pm GMT

  • Spuzzell 11/12/2014


    Yep, the only thing I bought in the recent Steam sale was Enemy Within, and that was from Greenman as it was half the price of the Steam sale price.

    Steam probably should step it up, but I imagine they don't feel like they need to!
    Reply +2
  • Tripwire defends Killing Floor 2 PS4 port

  • Spuzzell 10/12/2014


    That is a NICE inferiority complex you have there.
    Reply -18