Spuzzell Comments

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  • Square Enix Humble Bundle contains Thief, Hitman, Lara

  • Spuzzell 23/07/2014

    I've now bought two humble bundles in two days. I've spent $40 (whatever that is in grown up money) and have received:

    Battlestations: Midway
    Bioshock 2
    Bioshock Infinite
    The Bureau: XCOM Declassified
    Daikatana (...)
    The Darkness II
    Deus Ex: Game Of The Year Edition
    Deus Ex: Invisible War
    Deus Ex: Human Revolution - Directors Cut
    Deus Ex: The Fall
    Hitman: Codename 47
    Hitman 2: Silent Assassin
    Hitman: Absolution
    Just Cause 2
    Kane & Lynch 2: Dog Days
    Lara Croft and the Guardian of Light
    Mini Ninjas
    Spec Ops: the Line
    Thief Gold
    X-COM: UFO Defense
    X-COM: Terror from the Deep
    X-COM: Apocalypse
    X-COM: Interceptor
    X-COM: Enforcer
    XCOM: Enemy Unknown

    I am STAGGERED. I gave more than I needed to because.. well just look what you get. Incredible.

    EDIT: $40 is 23.

    That's 82p per game.
    Reply +6
  • Hearthstone: Naxxramas walkthrough and strategy guide

  • Spuzzell 23/07/2014

    Anub'Rekhan on heroic is fucking me right off.

    If he uses his power every round (including the first round since he has so far always gone second when I've played him) then he's a BITCH.

    AND if its going well he always seems to have that Locust swarm bullshit TWICE to clear the board.


    On the other hand, I'm playing Hearthstone at work and so probably shouldn't complain too much.
    Reply +1
  • Super Castlevania 4 proved the best Dracula games don't have to be scary

  • Spuzzell 20/07/2014

    Why Super Castlevania was a step back Reply -13
  • Frontier's drive to make Elite: Dangerous on PC future proof

  • Spuzzell 17/07/2014


    That might be the most jealously bitter post I've seen in 2014.

    Calm down, I'm sure your little console is lovely.
    Reply +26
  • If Star Citizen hits $50m its developers will create alien languages

  • Spuzzell 16/07/2014

    How much for them to release footage of Chris Roberts rolling around naked on a bed of money hysterically laughing? Reply +4
  • The best games of 2014 are actually from 2013 - and that's okay

  • Spuzzell 12/07/2014


    It really is that simple unfortunately.

    Games companies have a budget for new games each fiscal year and its finite.

    Spending money from that budget on a remake means that money is unavailable to spend on anything new.
    Reply 0
  • Spuzzell 12/07/2014


    If you or anyone else are perfectly happy to play the same game every 12 months but with slightly better graphics then more power to you.

    I don't understand how that is satisfying myself, but then I don't understand Mrs. Browns Boys popularity either.

    It's not 'entitled' (a word I've seen appear a lot recently from people who don't understand it) to prefer new experiences to old ones.

    It's not 'entitled' to point out the dichotomy between people constantly complaining that all there is to play are sequels, and those same people being delighted with mere graphical upgrades of the exact same game they played on their previous console.

    I'm sure spending 6 months updating textures is more cost effective for publishers than spending 24 months making a whole new game.

    I'm equally sure that means far fewer new games.
    Reply +2
  • Spuzzell 12/07/2014

    Yeah great.

    The point is that companies investing their time on remaking existing games means they aren't investing their time on new ones.

    Remaking games I've already played so they are slightly shinier than they are already is not in any way exciting to me as a gamer.

    How starved of excitement are you that you actually get worked up over playing GTA5 again, 12 months later, exactly the same but with more pixels?

    Thank GOD for PC gaming, if this is the prevailing opinion on what console gamers want.

    You shouldn't be encouraging this. It's not even sequel after sequel being produced any more, something this site used to complain about loudly. Now instead of asking for new IP you're singing the praises of releasing the exact same fucking games, just made to look a bit shiner.

    This was a very depressing article to read.
    Reply -1
  • Video: The flattest performances by Hollywood actors in games

  • Spuzzell 10/07/2014

    Ok, but you get that you're just plain wrong about Blood Dragon though?

    The voice performance is perfect in that!

    You even had extracts from the Dean Evans and Micheal Biehn video which shows exactly how much fun they had and how well the character was understood.
    Reply +16
  • Fallout 3 speedrun sets new world record in under 24 minutes

  • Spuzzell 01/07/2014

    Oh my god.

    Every time I read an article on Fallout I get a desperate need to install it again.

    Reply +7
  • Hearthstone Curse of Naxxramas expansion out in July

  • Spuzzell 27/06/2014

    Hey Wes, have you ever played Trump at Hearthstone? Reply +16
  • Editor's blog: I am sexist

  • Spuzzell 21/06/2014

    Ok, well.. its good that you've seen that for what it is.

    The comments thread here on the Hyrule Warriors screenshots recently was fairly appalling, I'd say it was beyond casual sexism and heading towards outright misogyny.

    If Tom Bramwell is TomFTW by any chance, your Damascan conversion hadn't happened yet.

    Anyway, I can't read all 900 posts here, so this post is probably completely redundant.. but this is a topic I do feel quite strongly about.

    The subject of sexism and the portrayal of women in games is totally separate to irrational feminism or annoying lesbian agendas or political correctness or any real world factors.

    It's not related to anything other than the fact that most games are still written for teenage virgin geek boys.

    Despite the fact that gamers have in the main moved away from that stereotype, game designers still pander to the concept that gamers are only comfortable with women when they're either ridiculously sexualised or helpless and needing rescuing. Or, ideally, both.

    I find it more and more embarrassing to play games where women are shown on screen that way. I don't want to be seen by the people I care about to be someone that thinks women are only acceptable if they're half naked or helpless, because being a person who thinks that way that is deeply... well, LAME.

    So, yeah. I salute the intent, Tom. It's pretty easy to not be a dick about women in games. Just don't be a dick about women in games.
    Reply -2
  • Destiny PS4 alpha extended for "dangerous experiments"

  • Spuzzell 16/06/2014


    Not really sure I feel much difference between using the triggers or squeezing a mouse button, neither remotely feels like the real thing, but as you say, personal preference.

    But I couldn't disagree more on analogue stick fps movement. Keys are far quicker and more accurate than a stick, plus of course you have basically infinite key combinations within reach around WASD rather than just a trigger and a bumper as with a pad.

    I prefer pads for lots of things, but it really isn't a discussion when it comes to whether pads or kb/m are better for FPSs, because one genuinely is far superior.
    Reply -6
  • Spuzzell 16/06/2014


    Yeah, people always say that, as if the fact you can easily use them while on a sofa magically makes pads more accurate at FPSs than kb/m.

    It doesn't.

    I use a 360 pad for a lot of games on my PC, I *LIKE* pads. But for FPS and anything menu driven, if you aren't using a mouse then you're crippling yourself.
    Reply -8
  • Spuzzell 16/06/2014



    Reply -1
  • Spuzzell 16/06/2014


    Pads blah console blah pc master race blah... don't get bogged down by tribalism.

    I don't think it's unfair to say that menu driven games and FPS games are categorically better when played with a mouse rather than a pad, and Destiny is a menu driven FPS game.

    It WOULD be better played with a keyboard/mouse.
    Reply -4
  • Sleeping Dogs HD spotted for PC, PS4 and Xbox One

  • Spuzzell 16/06/2014

    I only got around to playing this on PC last year.

    I think it cost me 12, but sure, I'll buy it again a few months later for 400% more.

    Thanks Square, this is so much better than you making new games.
    Reply +3
  • Weapons are never the solution in Alien Isolation

  • Spuzzell 10/06/2014


    3 minutes ago
    CaptainKid wrote:
    I remember guns in Aliens were quite effective.

    Yes, 10mm armour piercing exploding tip rounds in an 99 round magazine are very effective unlike a 6 shot revolver.

    Er. You do remember how well things ended for the gun toting soldiers? :-)
    Reply +6
  • Spuzzell 10/06/2014


    Everyone is different, but I'm still deeply afraid of Giger's aliens.

    They scare me on a deep primeval level that is unmatched by anything else in cinema.

    Even Resurrection is memorably horrifying to me. When they swim. Noooope. Not ok.
    Reply +11
  • Mario Kart 8 getting Mercedes car DLC

  • Spuzzell 29/05/2014

    Finally someone has tapped the rich seam of Mercedes fans who also love Mario.

    I'm sure at the golf club and Mason lodges the middle aged chaps enjoy nothing more than breaking out their 3DSs and tearing up the track.
    Reply +23
  • Face-Off: Wolfenstein: The New Order

  • Spuzzell 26/05/2014



    On Eurogamer all the PC people gang up on the consolekiddies, not on each other.
    Reply +1
  • Take another look at Hyrule Warriors, Nintendo's odd Zelda spin-off

  • Spuzzell 23/05/2014



    No armour = tits. Right. Oh, but not for men?

    That must be because tits are dramatically essential then. Because it's impossible to have a female character without her having her tits out.


    You're a strange, lonely geek, struggling to justify looking at cartoon tits.

    Which, as I've said, is fine. Lonely strange geeks can look at cartoon tits if they want. There certainly seem to be enough of you here.

    But as a normal adult, I find games that show women only as one dimensional half-naked sexpots to be deeply, DEEPLY embarrassing. I don't want to play those games, I don't want to be seen playing those games by my family or girlfriend, I don't even like SEEING those games as it makes my soul curl up in mortification that gaming, something I enjoy, has so many people who think that showing women like this is somehow acceptable.

    You're just.. lame. I feel bad for you.

    And, when it comes to games like Zelda which I enjoy, I want you and those who share your pathetic way of looking at women, to stay the fuck away so normal healthy people like me can play them without feeling ashamed.

    So this game isn't for me. Which is all I said, waaaaaaaay back at the top of the thread.
    Reply +1
  • Spuzzell 22/05/2014


    Yeah, sure. That's what it is.

    Google Image search Mage. The first two images.

    Then shhhh.
    Reply 0
  • Spuzzell 22/05/2014


    Cool story, bro.
    Reply +1
  • Spuzzell 22/05/2014


    Well, I'm not sure either!

    Either it was sarcastic or so hilariously uninformed that I didn't really want to have a go at him :-)
    Reply -1
  • Spuzzell 22/05/2014


    (I thought that might possibly have been meant to be sarcastic.)
    Reply -1
  • Spuzzell 22/05/2014


    These aren't actual women who've made their own choice about whether or not to show their bodies, you moron.

    These are designed characters, one of which is designed to be vulnerable, ethereal and unprotected and the other designed to make idiots go "huhuhuh boobs".

    Neither are real women, and one is.. sad.
    Reply +3
  • Spuzzell 22/05/2014


    Yeah, couple of things. Firstly, this isn't a woman. It's a drawing.

    Secondly, if you're basing your decisions on what women you like from how you respond to Tecmo characters, you should probably get some professional help.
    Reply -2
  • Spuzzell 22/05/2014

    Unfortunately you're not smart enough to understand why you sound foolish.
    Reply -1
  • Spuzzell 22/05/2014


    If you can't see the difference between having a naked character (vulnerable, touching, not sexual) and a character with stupidly enormous sexualised tits in bondage gear (sad pathetic wank fodder for lonely boys) then.. this game is for you, I guess.
    Reply +2
  • Spuzzell 22/05/2014


    And that's fine, all I'm saying is that characters out of the wank fantasies of a 12 year old virgin boy are not what I want in a Zelda game.

    If that's the market for this game, then I'm not interested is all I said.

    I'll have my own opinions if that's ok with you.
    Reply +5
  • Spuzzell 22/05/2014

    That was looking interesting until #13.

    Unbelievably jolting and out of place, killed any interest I had in this stone dead.
    Reply -33
  • Microsoft reveals the Surface Pro 3

  • Spuzzell 21/05/2014


    Maybe you'll have more luck trying to explain that to the iZombies than the rest of us have!
    Reply -1
  • Spuzzell 21/05/2014


    Yes, that's the sort of market this is aimed at. The stylus included is also outstanding.
    Reply -1
  • Spuzzell 21/05/2014


    I'm sorry, what superior line of software?

    The Surface Pro is an x86 PC with PC grade hardware.. it runs everything.

    The iPad is a RISC tablet with tablet grade hardware that runs small, low power apps designed specifically with its limitations in mind.
    Reply +1
  • Spuzzell 21/05/2014


    I'm not ignoring anything. Except now this thread, which is.. I mean, I know EG has its share of moronic fanboys but this.. Jesus.

    The Surface isn't competing with tablets. Tablets are toys. The Surface is a PC.

    And in a PC sector which is shrinking rapidly, the Surface line is more than doubling its sales numbers in every quarter.

    The reason for that is that it is utterly brilliant for everyone that needs a portable solution for a fully functional PC.

    Apple fans (who I assume are the ones being retarded here) really don't need to cry, the iPad is still the worlds best toy.. but the Surface is the worlds best tool.

    The worlds BIGGEST tools are mostly in this thread.
    Reply 0
  • Spuzzell 21/05/2014


    I could not have been clearer when I said this wasn't an iPad or tablet competitor!

    This thread feels very strange. I don't understand why the easily verifiable facts I've calmly stated have caused such ire.

    I'll just say that in the first 3 months of this financial year, Surface sales were $400 million. In the second three months of the financial year, Surface sales were $893 million. (and, for everyone that can't count, that's sales in the $billions. In 6 months.)

    That's... staggering growth. And I don't think it's going to slow, as there is nothing on the horizon that even comes close to matching what Microsoft have put together.

    But yeah, sorry if that upsets you somehow.
    Reply -1
  • Spuzzell 20/05/2014


    I said they SELL in the $billions.

    MS fucked up with RT, hence the writedowns, but the Pro line is rapidly becoming the only game in town when it comes to enterprise laptop sourcing.

    These are just about perfect for every office environment on the planet. They will continue to sell in ever increasing bucket loads.

    IMHO deservedly so. My Surface Pro 2 is exceptional, and it looks set to be crushed by the Surface Pro 3.
    Reply -19
  • Spuzzell 20/05/2014


    This isn't a tablet. It's not aimed at people who buy iPads.

    Microsoft have built Surface into something that makes laptops obsolete, specifically in the enterprise and scholastic markets.

    Tablets are for fun, this is for work. And also for fun, because it's a full fat PC that just happens to be in the shape of a tablet.
    Reply -6
  • Spuzzell 20/05/2014


    The Surfaces sell in the $billions, they aren't going anywhere.
    Reply -34
  • Spuzzell 20/05/2014


    June 20th,

    Size 7.9311.50.36 inches
    Weight 1.76 lbs
    Display 12 inch 21601440 multitouch
    Processor Unspecified 4th generation (Haswell) Core i3, i5, and i7 options.
    RAM 4 or 8GB
    Storage 64GB, 128GB, 256GB, 512GB
    Connectivity 802.11 a/b/g/n/ac, Bluetooth 4.0 LE
    Cameras Front and rear, both supporting 5MP still/1080p video
    Ports USB 3, microSD, mini DisplayPort, headphones
    Sensors Accelerometer, gyroscope, magnetometer, 256 level pressure sensitive battery-powered pen
    Battery 9 hours
    Other TPM 2.0, front and rear-facing microphones, Dolby-enhanced stereo speakers

    The device won't be configurable as such, instead, as with its predecessor, offering a range of preset configurations:
    Core i3, 64GB disk, 4GB RAM $799
    Core i5, 128GB disk, 4GB RAM $999
    Core i5, 256GB disk, 8GB RAM $1,299
    Core i7, 256GB disk, 8GB RAM $1,549
    Core i7, 512GB disk, 8GB RAM $1,949
    Reply +19
  • Spuzzell 20/05/2014


    They aren't tablets, they're laptops. That just happen to be in tablet form.

    Think iMac Air not iPad, except much, MUCH more capable.

    Then the pricing is extremely reasonable.
    Reply 0
  • Wolfenstein: The New Order review

  • Spuzzell 20/05/2014


    (I haven't played it myself yet to be fair)

    Having just read three other reviews of this that WILDLY differ I'm sort of inclined to agree with you.

    Pompous seems accurate.
    Reply +1
  • Spuzzell 20/05/2014


    Also... ok I know you had some issues with it, but as you describe it.. OK. To me this game sounds fun. Like, an enjoyable campy experience with enough relevance to the real world to keep it meaningful.

    Kind of like all the other Wolfensteins.

    I'm going to buy it right now, in fact.
    Reply +20
  • Philips wants Wii U banned for patent infringement

  • Spuzzell 15/05/2014

    Meh, it'll be fine.

    American patent juries only find in favour of ridiculous suits like this if the company suing is American and the company going "er, what the hell? We were doing this years before your patent was awarded?" is foreign.
    Reply +2
  • Sir, You Are Being Hunted review

  • Spuzzell 12/05/2014


    I'm a fucking ray of sunshine, yes.
    Reply +2
  • Spuzzell 12/05/2014


    Easily playable with your head in a bucket too. Which makes about as much sense.
    Reply -7
  • Newspaper report linking stabbing of Leeds teacher to Dark Souls disputed

  • Spuzzell 29/04/2014

    Arse Souls more like. Reply -32
  • Bungie explains why there's still no PC version of Destiny

  • Spuzzell 28/04/2014



    Reply +11
  • Samsung Galaxy S5 review

  • Spuzzell 28/04/2014


    Microsoft have a history of making exceptional hardware to be fair to them, I would not expect quality to drop from now on.

    Er. Windows Phone has never run Media Player..

    The music player has separate volume controls in 8.1.

    The Search button requires a double tap in 8.1 (though since the accidental search thing happened to me a couple of times, I just very slightly changed how I held the phone.)

    I don't miss a native file manager on my iPhone or my Lumia, but if that's really a deal breaker for you then OK.. there are apps in the WP8 store that do that job, but I just use the Office hub for documents and everything else is already automatically organised and easy to find in its respective app.

    Battery life I can't help you with. My 1520 does a whole day very comfortably, and I use it A LOT. on the other hand I had a Lumia 800 a few years back, and battery life was poor. I carried a portable battery pack charger with me pretty much always. I also used an S3 at the time, so the pack was pretty much always needed.

    Basically. I use all three OSs regularly, and I always reach for the Lumia first. Always.

    It's just a nicer place to be, the hardware and Windows Phone 8 are just.. better.
    Reply 0