Spuzzell Comments

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  • Xbox One vs PlayStation 4: Year One

  • Spuzzell 22/12/2014

    Yep, as an outside impartial observer this article summarizes exactly how I've felt about the two new consoles. There's just no real difference, to the extent that faceoffs are now irrelevant. I reached my limit with the article entitled: "GTA 5's next-gen grass compared". Seriously.

    PC + Wii U = perfection IMHO. Either of the other consoles is fine if you don't have a gaming PC. Whichever is cheaper.
    Reply -1
  • Don't call it DRM: what's Denuvo Anti-Tamper?

  • Spuzzell 20/12/2014


    I'm sorry, the company have to prove to you that the baseless accusation is false?

    The complete lack of evidence that anything Denuvo does adversely affects a drive, the fact that there's literally no reason for a masking program to ever access your SSD and the independent analysis from EG, PC Gamer etc etc aside, Denuvo simply don't have to disprove anything made up by butt hurt pirates.

    The only reason to care about DRM is if you want to pirate but it won't let you. Steam, UPlay and Origin just quietly sit in your taskbar, taking up no resources and needing no attention.

    It's easier BY FAR to start Steam and click on a game to install and play it than it is to pirate the same game.
    Reply -2
  • CVG to close

  • Spuzzell 19/12/2014


    *ARE the future
    Reply +1
  • Spuzzell 19/12/2014

    It was coming, the last few years the whole feel of the site was changing gradually yet constantly for the worse and quality was way down.

    I'm sorry for the staff but I personally won't miss the site, I've already been sad about C&VG disappearing a couple of years ago.
    Reply -1
  • Ubisoft delays Assassin's Creed: Unity's next major patch

  • Spuzzell 17/12/2014


    Christ on a bike that pop-in is AWFUL.

    (shlaaaaags link retweet)

    Reply +2
  • Interplay breaks months of silence with Kickstarter for Freespace board game

  • Spuzzell 16/12/2014


    Ok, seriously. You need to stop because you're beyond parody now.

    You're Russell Brand, using words and phrases you don't properly understand but like the sound of to argue with people who aren't arguing with you.

    You're thinking you're scoring points and making a contribution to a discussion when all you're actually doing is shouting unfinished and illogical thoughts at the sea.

    No-one cares or even bothers to properly read your sub-student paper standard prose.

    You're wrong because you just ARE wrong.
    Reply 0
  • Spuzzell 15/12/2014


    What you are asking for is manifestly impossible.

    And when it was gently pointed out to you that what you were asking for was impossible, you threw your toys out of your pram and started stamping your feet, calling people arrogant and condescending. Hilariously, considering the tone of your posts.

    Basically, shh.
    Reply -1
  • Spuzzell 15/12/2014


    I'm sure it could be simplified, but when you do that its a completely different game.

    That's like saying you can simplify a fully featured aircraft simulator with all its switches and controls into Afterburner with a single joystick and it's the same game.

    Freespace is complex because the game is based around controlling a complex ship. The shooting and story is background, the actual game is flying the ship.

    Simplified and on a pad.. you lose all that.
    Reply -1
  • Spuzzell 12/12/2014


    There's absolutely NO WAY Freespace could work on a pad :-)

    The gameplay would need to be changed and simplified so much to make pad control feasible that it would be a completely different game.

    From a previous post I wrote:

    Here's the list of keyboard commands. You use them all in just about every mission. And I also use a gamepad at the same time.

    T - Target next ship
    Shift-T - Target previous ship
    Alt-T - Turn off auto-target
    H - Target nearest hostile ship
    Shift-H - Target previous hostile ship
    Alt-H - Toggle auto-targeting
    F - Target nearest friendly ship
    Shift-F - Target previous friendly ship
    Y - Target ship in reticule
    G - Target nearest attacker
    Alt-Y - Target last ship to send a transmission
    U - Target next un-inspected cargo
    Shift-U - Target previous un-inspected cargo
    N - Target newest ship in area
    B - Target nearest hostile bomb/bomber
    Shift-B - Target previous hostile bomb/bomber
    K - Target next live turret
    V - Target subsystem in reticule
    S - Target next subsystem
    Shift-S - Target previous subsystem
    Alt-S - Turn off auto-targeting of subsystems
    R - Target closest attacking ship
    J - Target target's target
    E - Target next ship in the escort list
    Alt-R - Target nearest support ship


    A - Increase forward thrust
    Z - Decrease forward thrust (reverse thrust)
    Pad 7 - Bank left (rotate left)
    Pad 9 - Bank right (rotate right)
    Pad 8 - Pitch forward
    Pad 2 - Pitch backward
    Pad 4 - Turn left
    Pad 6 - Turn right
    Backspace - Set throttle to zero
    \ - Set throttle to max
    [ - Set throttle to one third
    ] - Set throttle to two thirds
    = - Increase throttle by 5%
    - - Decrease throttle by 5%
    Tab - Engage afterburner


    Left CTRL - Fire primary weapons (cannons)
    Space Bar - Fire secondary weapons (missiles)
    . - Cycle forward through primary weapons, and single and dual
    fire modes
    , - Cycle backwards through primary weapons, and single and dual
    fire modes
    / - Cycle through secondary weapon banks
    Shift-/ - Cycle secondary weapon fire rate (single and double fire
    X - Launch countermeasure


    M - Match target's speed
    Alt-M - Toggle auto-speed matching
    Shift-A - Order: Attack my target
    Shift-Z - Order: Disarm my target
    Shift-D - Order: Disable my target
    Shift-V - Order: Attack my targeted subsystem
    Shift-X - Order: Capture my target
    Shift-E - Order: Engage enemy
    Shift-W - Order: Form on my wing
    Shift-I - Order: Ignore my target
    Shift-P - Order: Protect my target
    Shift-C - Order: Cover me
    Shift-J - Order: Return to base
    Shift-R - Order: Rearm me
    Pad * - Chase view
    Pad . - External view
    Pad Enter - Toggle external camera lock
    Pad 0 - Free look view
    Pad / - Current target view
    Pad + - Increase view distance
    Pad - - Decrease view distance
    Pad 5 - Centre view
    ' - Cycle radar ranges
    C - Open communications window
    Alt-J - Engage jump drive
    Insert - Increase weapon energy
    Delete - Decrease weapon energy
    Home - Increase shield energy
    End - Decrease shield energy
    Page Up - Increase engine energy
    Page Down - Decrease engine energy
    Alt-D - Equalise energy settings
    Q - Equalise shield settings (all quadrants)
    Up Arrow - Augment forward shield
    Down Arrow - Augment rearward shield
    Left Arrow - Augment left shield
    Right Arrow - Augment right shield
    Scroll Lock - Transfer energy (Laser -> Shield)
    Shift-Scroll Lock - Transfer energy (Shield -> Laser)
    Alt-E - Add/Remove ship from escort list
    Alt-Shift-E - Clear escort list
    Shift-. - Increase time compression
    Shift-, - Decrease time compression
    L - Toggle high HUD contrast
    Reply +2
  • Controversial mass murdering game Hatred appears on Steam Greenlight

  • Spuzzell 15/12/2014


    I'm fine, thanks.

    Don't get angry, that's not me banning your reply, just exercising my freedom to not look at it.
    Reply +6
  • Spuzzell 15/12/2014


    It's not banned, Steam just decided not to sell it. Freedom works for the shop too, not just the game designers.
    Reply +27
  • Spuzzell 15/12/2014

    I don't like the tone of this game at all, but you can't only be in favour of free speech if its being used to say things you agree with.

    Basically, the game designers should be free to make whatever game they like within our societal limits.

    And we should all be free to either buy it not.

    And Steam should be free to either sell it on their website or not.

    Seems to me the system is working, to be honest.
    Reply +14
  • Video: Why you might not want to pre-order The Order

  • Spuzzell 13/12/2014


    Holy shit, cry like a baby some more.
    Reply -5
  • Spuzzell 12/12/2014

    On topic:

    The graphics are utterly fantastic. I LOVE the setting. I love the moustaches. I love the upper class English accents.

    The gameplay looks incredibly generic though. You could swap the character models out for the ones from Xcom: The Bureau and it wouldn't be a shock, except for the constant QT(press triangle for E)Es.

    Also.. the crosshairs don't fit the setting at all.
    Reply 0
  • Spuzzell 12/12/2014

    Holy crap there's some butthurt fanboys here.

    Personally if I was a PS4 gamer I would be delighted to be informed early on by someone who HAS ACTUALLY PLAYED IT if a game looked a little dodgy and to avoid pre-ordering.

    Surely that's why you're ON A REVIEW SITE.

    Honestly, some people are morons.

    Reply -22
  • Get every Batman: Arkham game on Steam for $10

  • Spuzzell 12/12/2014

    ........ oh, fuck it, why not. Reply +8
  • Steam Holiday Sale starts 18th December, 6pm GMT

  • Spuzzell 11/12/2014


    Yep, the only thing I bought in the recent Steam sale was Enemy Within, and that was from Greenman as it was half the price of the Steam sale price.

    Steam probably should step it up, but I imagine they don't feel like they need to!
    Reply +2
  • Tripwire defends Killing Floor 2 PS4 port

  • Spuzzell 10/12/2014


    That is a NICE inferiority complex you have there.
    Reply -18
  • Spuzzell 10/12/2014

    You can't play an action FPS on a controller without aim assist, and you CERTAINLY can't if you want people on controllers to play cross platform with people on kb/m.

    Unassisted it would be like giving a drunk guy a ball on the end of a really long piece of string and making him fight a ninja with a baseball bat.
    Reply -13
  • Tekken 7's chief developer doesn't take kindly to mixed Lucky Chloe reaction

  • Spuzzell 09/12/2014

    I'm not really interested in fighting games, but why exactly was this character controversial?

    She doesn't seem particularly pervy to me?

    Certainly not by comparison to the entire female DOA roster or even Hyrule Warriors.

    (even a cursory look at my comment history will show where I stand on the sexualisation of female characters)
    Reply +2
  • Is Uncharted 4 the generational leap we were hoping for?

  • Spuzzell 08/12/2014

    How is improving the gameplay a generational leap, exactly?

    Just asking.
    Reply -26
  • Warhammer 40,000: Armageddon review

  • Spuzzell 08/12/2014

    Needs more brown. Reply +6
  • Final Fantasy 13 PC will get 1080p support next week

  • Spuzzell 05/12/2014


    I've probably played FFVII through 10 times, I didn't beat one of the weapons (can't remember the names now) but Golden Chocobos, Knights Of The Round etc etc etc etc was all done, multiple times.

    If the opening 20 hours of VII had been as souless and dull as XIII then no-one would ever have bothered finishing it.

    It's ridiculous, guys. In what other form of entertainment is 20 hours of utter crap permitted?

    Imagine if the first 20 episodes of Breaking Bad were boring as shit. No-one would watch!

    EDIT: Ok on working it out.

    Three times on PC when it first came out.

    Once on PSOne

    Once on PC again to play through it with my little brother

    Once on PC when the updated version came out fairly recently.

    So 6 times all the way through.
    Reply 0
  • Spuzzell 05/12/2014


    Seriously though. Twenty HOURS of dullness before it even starts not to be terrible.

    In an ENTERTAINMENT product.

    Fuck. Off. Square.

    (I bought this for PC, by the way. Pre-ordered and everything. Seriously, fuck off Square.)
    Reply -3
  • Saints Row: Gat Out of Hell goes all Disney in new musical trailer

  • Spuzzell 04/12/2014


    Saints Row is genuinely great.
    Reply +1
  • Target pulls Grand Theft Auto 5 from sale in Australia

  • Spuzzell 03/12/2014

    I don't have any issue with GTA V making it possible to kill people.

    I don't have any issue with GTA V having some of the people you can kill be sex workers.

    It's completely up to the store to decide if they will lose or gain business by telling real life victims of sexual assault that - while obviously everyone is sympathetic to the horror of their experience - that this is, in fact, just a game and not real life, and the best way for anyone who would be upset by these acts to avoid taking offence from this game is either not to play it, or just not to kill sex workers while they do.
    Reply +19
  • Crytek is shutting down Warface on Xbox 360

  • Spuzzell 03/12/2014


    There is no such game as Crysis 1. It's just called Crysis.
    Reply -2
  • How The Bourne Conspiracy struggled to find its own identity

  • Spuzzell 30/11/2014

    Retrospectives are good, ignore the cretins. Reply +17
  • The Nintendo difference: Wii U's first two years

  • Spuzzell 29/11/2014

    I couldn't care less about console wars (except that I want to play Mario Kart), but hasn't the Wii U still sold more consoles than the Xbox One?


    I do agree completely with the article. I want a Wii U almost enough to buy one, while feeling nothing but mild derision for the PS4 and Xbox One.

    There's no gaming experience on either of them I can't get on my PC cheaper, better looking and faster running. Sure there are title exclusives on both, but the game types are familiar and tired.

    Wii U on the other hand... yeah, I will eventually get one. Because it does things I want to play that I can't get anywhere else.
    Reply 0
  • The Steam Exploration Sale is live

  • Spuzzell 26/11/2014


    I'm playing Valkyria Chronicles because I'm too scared to keep playing Alien Isolation.
    Reply +1
  • Spuzzell 26/11/2014

    If Enemy Within appears for £6 it gets bought, but genuinely. That. Is. It.

    My unplayed Steam library is ridiculous.
    Reply +3
  • Catastrophe games: How Spelunky and XCOM helped prepare me for an incurable illness

  • Spuzzell 26/11/2014

    A great article.

    Thank you for sharing.
    Reply +2
  • Gaming peripheral that drains blood suspended on Kickstarter

  • Spuzzell 25/11/2014

    It's all fun and exciting until you get to the donation site and see Super Meat Boy on every screen.

    Reply 0
  • Face-Off: Far Cry 4

  • Spuzzell 24/11/2014

    i5 4690k 4.4GHz and GTX 970 here, on Ultra it runs smooth as silk on my system with absolutely no problems at all.

    I'm on an SSD as well.
    Reply 0
  • Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric review

  • Spuzzell 24/11/2014

    Sonic was never on the same level as Mario.

    Not ever. And I played them all.

    Things about Sonic I have enjoyed:

    The special stage race bits on Sonic 2 (MegaDrive)

    The pinball stage (MegaDrive, not sure which Sonic that was)

    Sonic And Sega All Stars Racing (PC)

    Quite a lot of Sonic Adventure (Dreamcast)

    and.... nothing else. Literally, nothing. I have enjoyed exactly zero percent of all the rest of Sonic I have ever played, and it's a LOT. I had a GAMEGEAR. That's how much I wanted to enjoy Sonic. I BOUGHT A GAMEGEAR.

    Sega needed to retire him LONG ago.

    He sucks blue balls.
    Reply -14
  • Will Xbox One succeed in China?

  • Spuzzell 23/11/2014

    There's no entrenched historical loyalty to a console brand in China.

    So Chinese consumers will almost certainly be coldly logical and game in the cheapest and most up to date way, which is on their phones when they are out, and on their PCs when they are at home.
    Reply 0
  • Call of Duty: Heroes, a F2P mobile game, is out now

  • Spuzzell 20/11/2014

    I do not want to go to there. Reply -1
  • GTA 5's next-gen grass compared

  • Spuzzell 19/11/2014

    Am I being punked?

    This whole story and thread is utterly surreal.

    Stop the internet. I want to get off.
    Reply +11
  • Spuzzell 19/11/2014

  • 3DS homebrew loader built, requires obscure puzzle game

  • Spuzzell 19/11/2014


    It doesn't enable the playing of "backups".
    Reply +2
  • Half-Life 2 remembered

  • Spuzzell 18/11/2014


    Haaa! San Andreas better than Half-Life 2!

    Go home MAG, you're drunk.
    Reply +1
  • PlayStation TV review

  • Spuzzell 16/11/2014

    So, hugely overpriced, only works properly if your home is filled exclusively with Sony products, doesn't work with third party apps and requires even more insanely over-priced proprietary accessories to work at all.

    Typical Sony then.
    Reply +19
  • Video: 5 sneaky changes to historic Paris in Assassin's Creed: Unity

  • Spuzzell 15/11/2014


    The 2001 system was just called the Xbox.
    Reply 0
  • Blizzard confirms World of Warcraft DDOS attacks

  • Spuzzell 15/11/2014


    It's really not, it's about extorting money.
    Reply 0
  • Spuzzell 14/11/2014


    Because if you DDOS effectively enough you can then message Blizzard and say "how much will you pay me to stop doing it?".
    Reply 0
  • Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare - PC performance done right?

  • Spuzzell 13/11/2014


    I bought it! You're not alone!
    Reply +1
  • Spuzzell 13/11/2014

    I always completely turn off motion blur anyway :-) I'm never entirely sure why anyone would want it. Reply +11
  • Final Fantasy 13-2 Steam release date announced

  • Spuzzell 11/11/2014

    I pre-ordered FFXIII, and after that experience .. well, as far as I'm concerned Square have earned a big "go fuck yourself" for every future title they release on PC.

    I did just pre-order Valkyria Chronicles though, because THAT is a port done right. PC Gamer port analysis

    Learn how to make a PC game Square, it's just embarrassing.
    Reply +10
  • Call of Duty: Advanced Warfare review

  • Spuzzell 10/11/2014

    I'm not going to bother with this one. Online COD has never held my attention and the single player campaigns really have very little to tell them apart.. they are all one big mushed together ball of cliché and genre tropes in my head.

    Lazy tagline summary: Advanced Borefare.
    Reply -1
  • Assassin's Creed: Unity, Far Cry 4 and The Crew in UK Steam no-show

  • Spuzzell 07/11/2014


    Using Uplay doesn't bother me any more than using Origin or Steam.

    So long as the client is little and discrete and only runs when I tell it to (ie, when I fire up a game) the only difference between them all is the colour of the icon in the taskbar.

    Personally I can see exactly why Ubisoft would prefer not to pay a commission to Steam on every Ubisoft game sold. Why would they when they have their own distribution platform where all the money goes to them?
    Reply +2