Spuzzell Comments

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  • X-rayed games consoles are art, look

  • Spuzzell 15/04/2014

    Wonder if this is all they discover inside the Xbox One.
    Reply +118
  • Elite: Dangerous Premium Beta dated, entry costs 100

  • Spuzzell 10/04/2014


    That's just bullshit though?

    You CAN pre-order games in effect by backing, but that's A: exactly what Kickstarter is FOR and B: cheaper than the fullprice game will be.

    100 tiers are for people who want to support a project with more money, and the rewards they get are commensurate. In this case, you get to play the game before 99.99% of the rest of the world.

    Early access is now being offered to people who missed the Kickstarter, but it HAS to be offered at the same price that the Kickstarter people paid.

    It's an entirely optional way of outgeeking people and supporting a project, I honestly think a lot of the posts here are extraordinarily stupid and entitled.

    (Edit: I haven't backed Elite at all FYI. I'll probably buy the game when it's released though)
    Reply +11
  • Spuzzell 10/04/2014


    How is this a bad thing? It's a bonus offered to anyone who wants it, at the same price offered on Kickstarter.
    Reply +20
  • Gorgeous Mario Kart 8 retro tracks compared to originals

  • Spuzzell 03/04/2014

    Oh my God the Donut Plains music made me instantly feel 6 years old again. I think I want this. A lot.

    Also. It's pronounced "aitch". Not "haytch".
    Reply +4
  • Remember Desert Strike? Meet Killstorm

  • Spuzzell 28/03/2014

    They should do Teachers Strike.

    I'd play that.
    Reply +36
  • Oculus Rift: Step into the game, step out with two billion dollars

  • Spuzzell 26/03/2014


    I AM surprised, because funding has to come from somewhere if the Rift is ever going to be the success it deserves to be..

    I'm also surprised that people seem to feel emotional about Oculus as a company. I love the idea of the Rift, but there was nothing special about Oculus, they were just another firm with a good idea that got crowdfunded.

    Personally, if Tesla were bought by BP I wouldn't give a shit.
    Reply 0
  • Spuzzell 26/03/2014


    Yeah, I'm totally a FB shil.
    Reply -5
  • Spuzzell 26/03/2014


    Why are people being so emotional about this?

    I'm genuinely taken aback. Facebook haven't bought Oculus to make it play Farmville any more than they bought WhatsApp and Instagram to make posting photos on walls easier.

    Facebook are just investing their huge amounts of cash into things they believe could be the future.

    Oculus needs HUGE amounts of cash to develop the Rift. Like, HUGE. Microsoft spent over $100 million just redesigning the pad for the Xbox One. They needed an investor with deep pockets, and they have one.

    Facebook will just hand over lots of money and let Oculus do whatever it wants.

    It's pretty much a perfect scenario, and people (including Notch) need to get over themselves.
    Reply -3
  • Spuzzell 26/03/2014


    Stop being so emo :-)

    There's absolutely zero reason to believe Facebook will be any more hands on with Oculus than it is with Instagram or WhatsApp. They'll just pump in hundreds of millions, leave Oculus to it and see what happens.
    Reply -12
  • Nvidia announces $3,000 Titan Z graphics card

  • Spuzzell 25/03/2014


    Yeah, EG could really do with a specific sarcasm or irony font to help out the neg happy among us.

    PC gaming is the most exciting its ever been I think.

    Except that Facebook just bought Oculus and I want to cry a little.
    Reply +5
  • Hearthstone: Heroes of Warcraft review

  • Spuzzell 14/03/2014


    What the fuck are you even talking about. Seriously. Read the review, and wash the sand out of your vagina.

    Hearthstone is brilliant, and I haven't spent a penny on it.
    Reply +8
  • These Nintendo toys launch in McDonald's Happy Meals next week

  • Spuzzell 12/03/2014


    Reply 0
  • Spuzzell 12/03/2014


    It's fast food in general that I don't ever eat, and when I have a family that's going to be what I try to teach them too.

    McDonalds might not be the absolute worst terrible way of killing yourself through food prepared by minimum wage teenagers, but it's the biggest terrible way of killing yourself through food prepared by minimum wage teenagers and therefore gets the most (deserved) flak.

    If you put that stuff into your body then you're crazy.
    Reply -6
  • Spuzzell 12/03/2014

    Damn. I kind of want these.

    Not enough to ever eat anything from McDonalds though.
    Reply +5
  • Tales of Symphonia: Chronicles review

  • Spuzzell 10/03/2014

    I adored Tales Of Symphonia despite feeling exactly the same deep dislike toward the embarrassing awfulness of scripting and character that makes up most Japanese story telling games as Daniel did.

    I think it helps that Lloyd is actually likeable. He's not very bright, but he's happy and amusing and nice to be around.

    I still have my Gamecube and ToS. I think I'll probably play through this again at some point.
    Reply 0
  • Metal Gear Solid: Ground Zeroes is the best, most expensive demo ever made

  • Spuzzell 05/03/2014

    MGS is for emotionally crippled 13 year old Japanese comic geeks who equate illogical, shallow, ridiculously overwrought and embarrassingly cheesy complexity with actual story telling.

    Which is fine, I love the Rayman games and they're hardly Breaking Bad. There's room for all in the church of gaming.

    I just think its bordering on wrong to take advantage of MGS's fans lack of judgement when it comes to MGS titles. Just because they'll buy anything at any price shouldn't make it ok to sell it to them.
    Reply +1
  • Video: Let's Replay Crash Team Racing

  • Spuzzell 02/03/2014


    I loved it, but it's really not :-)
    Reply -10
  • Spuzzell 02/03/2014


    I'm sure typing out cliched and irrelevant phrases such as "lolz bantz *grabs popcorn*" has scored you many, many babes.
    Reply -3
  • Spuzzell 02/03/2014


    It was a joke.
    Reply -11
  • This is what the Transformers MOTA looks like

  • Spuzzell 28/02/2014

    I might try it.

    Hearthstone proved my scepticism about card games utterly wrong, so I am now OpenMinded Boy, potential defender of the presumed naff.
    Reply +3
  • When will we see a gay protagonist in a triple-A game?

  • Spuzzell 28/02/2014

    If we haven't had a gay lead already (and I'd say we have, Mass Effect and Saints Row spring to mind instantly) then it'll be a lesbian first.

    My money's on Bayonetta.
    Reply +35
  • Nintendo terminating Wii and DS online services

  • Spuzzell 27/02/2014

    Oh no :-(

    I play Mario Kart Wii online with my family every time I go home, this is really sad news.

    Nothing like sitting on a sofa with your little brother swearing in unison at a French kid playing as a princess to foster bonds.
    Reply +15
  • Mad Catz Mojo review

  • Spuzzell 23/02/2014


    I don't think that todays console gamers will stop wanting to play AAA games, its just that in the next 20 years phones and TVs will become so powerful that separate hardware specifically to play games will be unnecessary.

    In 2034 I expect people will be playing Forza 15 on their personal phone when they're out, and continuing their game on their home display when they get home.

    I'd expect it to be on a Microsoft owned OS, though which company actually owns Microsoft by then is potentially interesting.
    Reply -1
  • Spuzzell 23/02/2014


    And we're not old, we're just rich in experience :-)
    Reply -3
  • Spuzzell 23/02/2014


    phones/tablets/TV are only dependent on resolution the MOJO does 720-1080p.

    "There is nothing this console does that isn't comprehensively bettered by an 8 year old console. " oh really??
    office apps? ppt, xls, doc
    a desktop broswer firefox/chrome?
    Emulatation? I can keep going..

    Most new games now have controller support and play like a console, Google, Nvidia, Ouya, moga, mad catz etc etc are pushing for this.

    Face it fella, Consoles days are numbered.

    I'm actually a PC only gamer. Except for my Gamecube, I haven't felt the slightest need for a console for a decade.

    The point is that almost nothing this console can run is designed to be run on a console. By definition every game it can run is designed to run far better on a very different sort of device.

    I do agree that consoles are very nearly obsolete.

    But it will be smart TVs and HTPCs that supercede them, not putting a phone in a box and calling it a console.
    Reply -6
  • Spuzzell 23/02/2014


    I work in the field, and I am as certain as I can be that any Linux distro will never be used as a sole OS.

    Windows has a lock on enterprise and governmental clients as retraining end users and 100% guaranteeing that different distros can communicate effectively and securely would be prohibitively expensive.

    If Linux was ever going to be widely used in an enterprise environment it would have happened long ago. It was never even remotely cost effective for my organisation to switch, and it almost certainly never will be.
    Reply +7
  • Spuzzell 23/02/2014


    Android OS will be a desktop OS soon
    I don't think so. Certainly not in the next 20 years. Chromebooks are not exactly setting the world alight.

    If eventually we do all carry our personal computers around with us as phones they will almost certainly run Windows, because that's what business and government will be running on.
    Reply +4
  • Spuzzell 23/02/2014


    Yes, but so what? Android games and apps are designed for small screen portable devices, not designed for your TV in your living room.

    A 200 console designed simply to play games that are themselves designed to be played on small touchscreens is genuinely crazy in my eyes.

    There is nothing this console does that isn't comprehensively bettered by an 8 year old console.

    The games this wants you to play actually play better on your phone. Scratch that. The phone games this wants you to play actually don't even RUN officially.

    It's just so pointless.
    Reply +6
  • Spuzzell 23/02/2014


    Why would anyone spend 200 on this when a PS3 is far more capable at everything, and cheaper?

    For very little more you could get an AMD HTPC that would destroy this in every measurable aspect.

    Or you can just sodding well buy an adaptor that lets your existing smartphone output to your TV, which would hilariously be MORE CAPABLE than this.
    Reply +6
  • Spuzzell 23/02/2014

    HOW much? Seriously?

    The only reason I thought Ouya could be amazing was that it could allegedly run Onlive and act as a HTPC while costing practically nothing.

    Neither of those potentially killer applications panned out.

    I really don't think there's a market just for playing phone games on a 200 console.

    Certainly not when most of the titles don't even officially sodding work.
    Reply +5
  • Plants vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare won't have microtransactions at launch

  • Spuzzell 21/02/2014

    This could have been an interesting and different title, but it doesn't look like it is.

    Why turn PvZ into just another run and gun? A waste.

    Please note this post mentions resolution not at all.

    (you console peeps are SO FUCKING BORING)
    Reply +4
  • Man completes Super Mario Bros. with the lowest possible score

  • Spuzzell 21/02/2014

    I watched that whole video.

    Two things occurred to me;

    1: Seriously, the skill. My god.

    Reply +3
  • Drunken Robot Pornography's full release comes to Steam

  • Spuzzell 20/02/2014

    Drunken Robot Pornography?

    A game for Benders.
    Reply +17
  • Square Enix "definitely interested" in bringing future Final Fantasy games to PC

  • Spuzzell 19/02/2014


    I literally don't understand how people keep thinking I'm in some way dissing the PC.

    I AM a PC gamer. I VASTLY prefer PC gaming on a monitor.

    All I said was that Final Fantasy has become hugely consoleified, designed to be hugely impressive to look at but not remotely complicated to play, and therefore far more at home on consoles on a huge TV screen than PC monitors.

    I also have an HTPC attached to my TV, but for games I always use my 1920*1200 monitor and a mouse and keyboard if possible.

    And while many PC gamers do play from the sofa, the vast majority do not.
    Reply +1
  • Spuzzell 19/02/2014


    What? No it wasn't?

    Actually, my point, which you've sort of missed twice now, is that PC gamers (in my experience) need much more from games than cinematic bombast.

    A PC gamer is less likely than a console gamer to accept corridor/cutscene/corridor/boss just because the graphics are shiny.

    I don't think FFXIII would have sold particularly well on PC even if it had been released.

    I AM a PC gamer. I have a GameCube still but that's just because I like people who come over to think I'm all hipster and interesting.
    Reply 0
  • Spuzzell 19/02/2014


    Yes it can. But the vast majority of PC gamers play on a desk with KB/M.

    If I prefered to play games on my TV from the sofa, I'd have a console.
    Reply -8
  • Spuzzell 19/02/2014

    Well, that's nice, but the time has already passed.

    I just feel that the single player FF is now better suited to consoles.

    Like Metal Gear Solid it's become much more of a entertainment experience than a game, it just fits being sat on a sofa in front of a big screen better than being sat on a chair in front of a high-res monitor.

    I probably wouldn't bother playing a PC port of anything after FF12.
    Reply -14
  • Be advised: I was wrong about Titanfall

  • Spuzzell 19/02/2014

    This is the only big title around at the moment, it's a brand new IP, it's from Respawn and it's just gone into open beta.

    It's by far the biggest story around.

    Can the children please stop crying over the fact it's being covered?

    Get a grip, you whinging little babies.

    Reply +4
  • Nvidia GeForce GTX 750 Ti review

  • Spuzzell 18/02/2014


    It's really not that scary to build a PC, honestly it isn't!

    I just went to Scan now and in 5 minutes built this for 530, which would FAR outpace the consoles.

    You could easily save another 100 or so by lowering the spec a bit and still have a PC that is way ahead.

    Scan build
    Reply +1
  • Spuzzell 18/02/2014


    Graphics card hierarchy

    That might help for a quick overview.

    3 tiers above you is the R9 270, which is, as this article says, ridiculously good value!
    Reply +3
  • Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze review

  • Spuzzell 17/02/2014


    Oh, come on, don't be so harsh.

    What first person science fiction IP that Retro previously completely reinvented in a triumphant trilogy, whose new imagining would fit the Wii U setup to a PERFECT degree could they possibly have done instead of this.

    Reply +9
  • Spuzzell 17/02/2014


    And then there's me. I've played Nintendo games all my life, and while I enjoyed DKC Tropical Freeze, I can't help feeling saddened by it at the same time. DKC is becoming another Nintendo series where quality grows and importance shrinks with each faithful new instalment. Not all Nintendo's franchises have fallen into this pattern, but games like Tropical Freeze make me wonder whether they all eventually will, turning up to be damned by praise that appears fainter with every passing chapter.
    I *THINK* he's saying its really good, but not worth buying.
    Reply -1
  • South Park: The Stick of Truth is more than just a fart joke

  • Spuzzell 16/02/2014


    Must be a southern ponce, I go to see standup all the time.

    I don't understand Peter Kay. Phoenix Nights was sometimes brilliant, but I have sat through Peter Kay standup DVDs on many occasions and they are just BAD.

    And the (Northern) audience go mental for him. Its crazy.

    Peter Kay: "Do you remember sliding on your knees as a kid?"
    Me: Yeah?
    -Peter Kay slides on his knees on the stage for 5 minutes-
    Me: "......"
    Northern audience: "AAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA remembering things is brilliant!!"
    Reply 0
  • Spuzzell 15/02/2014


    Reply +1
  • Spuzzell 14/02/2014



    South Park PC
    Reply +6
  • Spuzzell 14/02/2014


    A lot of people don't see a difference between a "rude" word and a funny word. This seems sad to me, because I like to think that people are clever enough to need more than a word they think is naughty said aloud to laugh.

    I'm obviously wrong about that, as lots of people somehow laugh at Peter Kay and Catherine Tate.

    And that's fine, less cerebral people deserve things they like too.

    All I would like is the option to play this game in a way that makes me laugh.

    Sorry if that offends you.

    Here, have an out of context naughty word to laugh at.

    Reply -2
  • Spuzzell 14/02/2014


    What Ferx and Shinetop said.

    Swearing's fine, its just very obvious in terms of humour.

    In a show like South Park - where they use a cartoon aesthetic to mock the real world obliquely - bleeps over the swearwords just fit the ethos, they add to the humour hugely.

    The film (which I love) would have been even better in my opinion if it had been mainly bleeped.

    Apart maybe from Terrance and Philip.

    Most of the time bleeps are just funnier. Witness!
    The profanity button
    Reply +3
  • Spuzzell 14/02/2014

    Did you see if there was an option to bleep out the swearing?

    The more I think about it the bigger a deal that would be for me. With bleeps its SO MUCH funnier. When I see episodes that are unbleeped its just not the same.

    If its not an option I'm sure I'll still buy this, but I'll wait till its in a Steam sale.

    With bleeps its day one.
    Reply +2
  • Watch us play Far Cry Classic

  • Spuzzell 11/02/2014

    Well, I quite liked the Trigens, they scared me.

    The level where you are dumped in a river with no weapons in the dark while the bastard evil monkey sods move around sticks with me even now.

    The final level was a piss soaked bag of 'fuck you' flung into the players face though.

    I remember finally resorting to blocking two doors with chairs so I could just shoot through the tiny gaps for HOURS at an unseen line of demons till they died.

    Fun times.
    Reply +16
  • Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy 13 review

  • Spuzzell 11/02/2014



    I started with IV. Except it was VI. But not. I played it on a SNES emulator and it had Terra and Magitek armour and was the one before VII.

    And then I played IX, and then X and ONLY THEN VII, because I'm a pathetic hipster douchebag.
    Reply +1