Lalaland Comments

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  • There was a weird thing in last night's Japanese Nintendo Direct

  • Lalaland 13/04/2017

    Well that's racier than anything Nintendo has done for a while, will the Switch be the new home for 'specialist' VN games? Reply +17
  • Here's how UK cities would look in Horizon: Zero Dawn

  • Lalaland 27/02/2017

    Dublin is in the UK now is it? :lol::rolleyes::lol: Reply +23
  • Why Halo's biggest problem may be Halo itself

  • Lalaland 15/02/2017

    I arrived quite late in the game to the Halo series only playing them on 360 late in that cycle and to be frank I was never that enamoured of the plot in 3 but liked Reach. Now it's fair to say I'm going to be a bit lost in 3 having not played 1 or 2 but goddamn did it feel like they didn't even try to bring me on board. ODST was a real stand out to me though and I was disappointed they didn't try for an ODST 2, interesting location actual characters and that combat which was in good in 3 was elevated by being paired with a good story.

    I don't own XB1 and skipped H4 so I can't comment on how 343i are handling the current trilogy but the strengths in ODST are such that I hope they return to that well
    Reply +1
  • Johnny and Ian had a fight about Switch - in video form

  • Lalaland 05/02/2017

    I have to say Johnny's video was utterly unconvincing, failed to address any of the weaknesses Ian highlighted in his video and in the end was one long paean to Johnny's childhood and love of Nintendo.

    Point 1: "8 miscellaneous gripes and non-arguments aka I love Nintendo" not even a single cogent point in here beyond "I like what Nintendo does" hilariously he even slagged off Sony's launch line up (I agree) but then mumbled past the 3rd party stuff that Switch will never get (and gave me something to play for the first 18 months of PS4). Also Gamecube pads were shite, there's a reason nobody has copied anything about them beyond the Wavebirds wireless connectivity.

    Point 2: "Breath of the Wild": Basically buy it on Switch because reasons, everything said here could have been said about Zelda Twilight Princess. All appeals to emotion and I have no emotional connection to Nintendo, this one seems more pitched to persuade the WiiU owning Nintendo faithful to buy it but without any substantive arguments.

    Point 3: "Sure launch is bad but more is coming": OK at least we accept that the launch line up is weak but the reply to this is "announced games with future dates will totally launch on time" also completely oversold 3rd party support as of right now we're looking at smaller titles like I am Setsuna rather than any mainline Square Enix properties. The latest DQ is also coming too but it's coming to everything

    Point 4 "Local Multiplayer": OK not sure how this is unique to Switch I play plenty of local MP on PS4 and with the insanely high costs of extra controllers no-one will be buying enough for 4 players on Switch at launch. At a minimum for the full multiplayer experience on launch you need to buy one complete set of joycons (MK supports solo joycon play and ARMs requires two joycons per player) and a charging shell which is £100 more. It is valid to point out that 3 x DS4 is more expensive still but if you want to play any games with more than two button controls the Switch local MP experience gets dramatically more expensive. Again Switch works if all you want is to play Nintendo games but if you want more Nintendo has left you high and dry. I like Bomberman but I suspect I won't have to wait too long for a PS4 release.

    That's not to say Switch is bad, I don't own WiiU and will probably pick a Switch up later but as a reply to a video that says "wait a while" this response fell flat. I get it you love Nintendo Johnny but repeating that awful smug "if you don't love Nintendo you hate fun" line isn't going to win any converts.
    Reply +1
  • The new Star Wars: The Old Republic story expansion is betrayed by the MMO underneath

  • Lalaland 20/12/2016

    @MrDweezil Thanks for the reply! May have to go back in, I have a Sith Lord whose adventure needs a few more chapters! Reply 0
  • Lalaland 20/12/2016

    Are these solo-able adventures? I played the regular MMO up to the Hutt expansion which was definitely not solo friendly and got kind of turned off at that point Reply +4
  • Steam, uPlay currently wrong: For Honor campaign requires internet

  • Lalaland 13/12/2016

    Oooo nice strap line there EG Reply +8
  • Investigating the origins of The Last Guardian's architecture

  • Lalaland 12/12/2016

    Fantastic article and I hope EG will commission more, I love extras on DVDs etc but it seems games rarely stretch to this kind of investigation. All too often pre-order art books are little more than tiny scans of pre-prod drawings without any commentary to explain what the image was meant to evoke, from where it drew inspiration or anything really other than "here is an image, is it not pretty?".

    Thanks Gareth Damian Martin you've given me a whole bunch more art and artists to enjoy over the next while

    It's a shame but I'm guessing the engagement metrics will be pretty poor on this one up for the whole day and only 10 comments.
    Reply +5
  • Pro Super Smash Bros. player dumped by sponsor after "molesting" woman while she tried to sleep

  • Lalaland 18/07/2016

    Yeesh woman gets molested by a dude she thought was her friend and now she has to defend not abandoning him in the street instead, fucks sake. Well done VikkiKitty, getting the cops involved is a scary decision that will protect others from this asshole.

    Oh yeah booze is never an excuse, never. Drunken scumbags are just as scummy while sober, they're just more cunning then.
    Reply +47
  • How to fix the shooter campaign? Dig in

  • Lalaland 08/07/2016

    Re:Battlefield 1 I'm hoping the campaign doesn't focus on one theatre of that war, in general WW1 is seen as Flander's Fields and thats it. The global nature of the conflict and how it killed millions in Africa, the Middle East the Eastern Front is often lost in the horrors of mud, trenches and barbed wire. I'm not expecting the single player in BF1 to be good let alone great but if it at least teaches people that it was a truly global conflict that would be worthwhile Reply +1
  • Exposed YouTube star says sorry you didn't realise he owned gambling site he promoted

  • Lalaland 07/07/2016

    I can only imagine the lawyer's reaction to that video...

    TmarTn: 'Hey law dudes, I just posted a video to my community that lays it all out, not sure I even need you any more'
    2 minutes past with nothing but vague strangled sounds over the sound of the video
    Lawyer: 'Delete that, buy a roll of duct tape and keep wrapping your head with it until the noise stops'
    TmarTn: 'No dude you don't understand my fam...'
    Lawyer: 'Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!'
    Reply +10
  • Steam warns users against gambling site after YouTube stars discovered as owners

  • Lalaland 04/07/2016

    @cowell Well I think the lack of counter examples says rather a lot about the ethical gulf between 'Dude who wants to get paid for his YT followers' and 'website with actual legal advice'.

    I love how he outright lied to his followers in his video as if they'd take his word over the notarised legal filings he made to set his company up. How much contempt does he harbour for his fans?

    Also how long until we realise that this gambling behaviour is a key part of Valve's business model?
    Reply +34
  • Why Nintendo fans are excited about a just-revealed Pokémon

  • Lalaland 10/02/2016

    Yes, yes it is Reply -1
  • Metal Gear Solid 5 has shipped 6m units

  • Lalaland 30/01/2016

    @L_A_G True but I would argue that still shows worrying signs of not understanding their market as well as their competitors if they've lost 20% YoY. Of course absent info on how the overall pachinko market is doing it's hard to make that judgement. Yano research has numbers for 2014 YoY of a 6% decline which matches the general reports of a steady decline in that market. If the overall pachinko market had declined by 20% YoY in 2015 I think I would have seen those results bubble up to the top of Google Reply +1
  • Lalaland 29/01/2016

    The company's Pachinko and pachislot (slot machine) revenue decreased slightly year-over-year from ¥10.1bn to ¥8.2bn (emphasis added)
    A 20% revenue decline YoY is very far from a slight decline in fact that level of drop is more commonly followed by adjectives like 'catastrophic', 'severe' or 'serious'
    Reply +45
  • I have to break Fallout 4 to finish it

  • Lalaland 20/01/2016

    Wow the top comments are all more apologies for Bethesda's broken Gamebryo/Creation crap? Quelle surprise.

    I find it hilarious that Bethesda's crappy gfx and engine tech get's a pass because their familiarity with the ancient tools is the only way to realise these games but their seeming inability to eliminate the crappy scripting bugs despite using the same tech for 10+ years is a result of the 'complexity' of new platforms.

    We gave Bethesda a pass on crappy quality control for years so it's hardly surprising they don't really try that hard (remember the backwards dragons in Skyrim?)

    To be frank though my biggest problem with FO4 is it's crappy, awful plot and largely terrible characterisation (excepting Nick). That is why like WYP I've stopped the game even if unlike him it's not a glitch but indifference that stopped my play through.
    Reply +4
  • Assassin's Creed Syndicate: Jack the Ripper DLC review

  • Lalaland 23/12/2015

    @Archronos You know for an actually useful perspective that none of those people ever existed? The Ripper's victims, and I can't believe I have to say this, were REAL PEOPLE! Reply +3
  • Lalaland 22/12/2015

    It's all about the Orange Crème really though :D Same here in Dublin it's only the smaller independent shops that seem to stock them Reply 0
  • Lalaland 22/12/2015

    @MattEvansC3 This would have been a thousand times more interesting and revealed something about Victorian London. Spring Heeled Jack was depicted in myriad ways from a human with gadgets (literally sprung heels) to a demon. No-one knows about Spring Heeled Jack though today so Ubisoft took the low road and crafted a DLC around an actual murderer Reply +1
  • Lalaland 22/12/2015

    @BigOrkWaaagh You know it's something I find myself wondering about. The murderer's POV thing is very hard to pull off and works better in novels because you can communicate the thought process. Videogames rarely manage to get across thought process in the way that novels can and certainly AC as a series is even worse than the average game for that.

    When most other forms of fiction go in for the depiction of a serial killer they tend to focus on entirely fictive murderers (Silence of The Lambs, Dexter, etc) as you don't have the messy reality of actual victims. Note that those two examples generally focus on unsympathetic victims who 'deserve it'. In most of the novels I've read where the killer is not the central focus as in the earlier examples the point is to get across how different their view of the world is from the protagonists and that of their victims.

    This DLC seems to be trying to have it's cake and eat it, there has been so much fantastical bollocks talked about 'who the Ripper really is' that we forget he really existed and murdered real people. To take someone who sole claim to fame is that they went around butchering women and try and re-contextualise them as part of your game fiction is gross to me (as indeed is the majority of the whole 'Who was The Ripper' industry). He was a disturbed individual who murdered vulnerable women.

    The game doesn't really engage with the realities of 19th century prostitution either. Child prostitution was a disturbingly common activity and the spectacle of whole generations of women trapped in the same cycle of exploitation isn't dealt with here. Instead as in the dodgy representation of slavery in the Black Flag DLC they become another sort of prize to be rescued or recovered.

    Also the 'Shame Meter' should be 2015 'Press X to Give Condolences' moment. 19th century men would have felt no shame at being paraded in front of people they considered beneath them at all. If Evie dragged them back to their social circle perhaps the idea might have worked but as implemented not at all
    Reply +3
  • Lalaland 22/12/2015

    @BigOrkWaaagh Not really to be honest the whole reason the DLC exists is because some whom the press dubbed 'The Ripper' murdered 5 women in Whitechapel. It's impossible to treat the victims with respect while also trading off the dark glamour that has built up around their murderer.

    Why they felt the need to go even further and let you be The Ripper I'll never fathom. The fact that it's been excluded from pre-launch publicity entirely leads me to believe that someone from outside the studio saw that and went 'WTF?!? Bury this, no-one is to say a word and we may survive'.

    Why even try and contextualise his crimes or worse try and tie the senseless butchery into your awful game plot? It just baffles me on every level and I'm even more surprised it's been so rarely called out. You can't claim to treat the victims with respect while also allowing you to play as their killer.
    Reply -7
  • Lalaland 22/12/2015

    @NienNunb Completely agree.

    Maybe I read too many of those 'True Detective' magazines as a kid but the thought of playing as The Ripper nauseates me. What next we'll discover Ed Gein was chasing an Piece of Eden the whole time? John Wayne Gacy dressed as a clown in tribute to his Templar forefathers in the Commeddia dell'Arte?

    It's the exploitation of a murder victims for the cheapest of thrills. For all the claims that the game respects women in prostitution the entire premise is based off someone who literally eviscerated them. Fuck this DLC.
    Reply -9
  • SXSW considers harassment conference after pulling game panels over threats of violence

  • Lalaland 28/10/2015

    The 'Save Point' was literally dreamed up on r/KotakuInAction in a post with the GG hashtag in the title. It was a GG panel hosted by folks who regularly use the tag in social media to promote themselves let's not pretend it was anything but. Reply +4
  • Here's the Halo Master Chief Swarovski Helmet

  • Lalaland 27/10/2015

    Swarovski - Persuading People to Pay Too Much for Glass for 100+ years!

    Seriously call me when it's at least a semi-precious mineral
    Reply +9
  • Takeshi Kitano is starring in the new Yakuza

  • Lalaland 29/09/2015

    This is hilarious given that most Japanese folk I've met (a small sample admittedly) know him for his comedy and variety shows. His cinema is hugely popular overseas but it's violence seems to relegate it to obscurity in Japan. Goddammit Sega I want this so bad, if anyone fancies seeing Takeshi Kitano in a US film try 'Brother' from 2000 as it's a pretty good yarn and a lot less obtuse than some of his Japanese stuff (worse his early releases have terrible subs). Reply +2
  • In Metal Gear Solid 5, stealth doesn't always mean silent

  • Lalaland 23/09/2015

    @BlinkyB Or the even cruder cludge of 'if grenade moving, visibility = 100%'. I can't say whether my speculation is correct of course having not worked on the game just that anything that involves probes is expensive and usually avoided at all costs (especially probing alpha effects like smoke). It just seems that way from how the guards react in not seeing the jeep and commenting on smoke that isn't there yet.

    They might but I can see them choosing not to as any fix may take too much time and it's kind of hilarious rather than game breaking in the same way tapping iddqd into Doom broke that game. It is almost a super power but it's so obviously ridiculous the player has already effectively stopped caring about game systems.
    Reply +2
  • Lalaland 23/09/2015

    @FuzzyDuck @varsas Odds are the game isn't doing probes to test visibility instead there is a radius around the grenade that marks any object inside as 'invisible'. The gfx system that produces the smoke is separate from the actual function and is affected by the motion of the jeep, thus while in motion the jeep is naked and free of smoke but the game acts as if it's completely wreathed in it.

    It's not a glitch as such (the system is functioning correctly) just a limitation of the way visibility probes work, a fully accurate system would eat way too many cpu cycles.
    Reply +2
  • Don't hold your breath for GTA5 story DLC

  • Lalaland 16/09/2015

    @mechajin Yup as someone who dropped more than I'd care to admit in WoT it can be surprisingly easy to rationalise 'just €5 more' Reply +1
  • So, Mr Kojima, do we feel "ashamed" over Quiet?

  • Lalaland 04/09/2015

    Great article, entirely unsurprised the reason was laughable shite and worse self contradictory after all how come I didn't have to stare at The Ends wrinkly arse in MGS3? He was sunlight powered too Reply +13
  • PewDiePie talks money

  • Lalaland 08/07/2015

    He's a nice guy, early on he was a bit of dick with the screaming 'rape' and what not. He grew up produced a video going 'yeah I was a dick but I've grown' and held to that by building a genuinely welcoming community. Fair play to him

    Still insanely jealous though ;p
    Reply 0
  • Batman: Arkham Knight's leaderboards aren't working on PS4

  • Lalaland 26/06/2015

    'Not the netcode we need, the netcode we deserve'

    Búla bus Wesley top subbing right there!
    Reply +2
  • Destiny: The Taken King director apologises, Collector's Edition content will now be sold separately

  • Lalaland 25/06/2015

    Keep pushing them on the £40 issue EG they've somehow turned this into a debate on chuffing emotes. Reply +33
  • Destiny: The Taken King director defends £40 expansion price tag

  • Lalaland 22/06/2015

    Top work Tom, the frustration I feel at seeing Bungie blithely wittering on about 'content' and 'value' when outside of their shooting mechanic everything else is a mess is just off the scales. The story is hot disjointed, garbage with the HoW only standing out by comparison to what came before. The meta gear levelling game is a lot more straight forward in some ways but not others because hey it's Bungie!

    The siege mentality in that place makes Mourinho look like an amateur 'the world is against us but if we just keep repeating the gospel according to Bungie they will follow'

    tldr: €30 or piss off Bungie
    Reply +15
  • MGS5's seedy Quiet figure has squeezable boobs

  • Lalaland 11/05/2015

    Top job that subs ed, Metal Gear Squalid I'm dying over here Reply +3
  • The MMOne is a three-axis Virtual Reality chair attached to a crane

  • Lalaland 13/04/2015

    This thing will cost thousands if not tens of thousands, heavy lifting hydraulics ain't cheap. Damn cool all the same but a toy for the ultra rich or ultra dedicated only like those super sweet looking cockpit setups you see online. Reply +3
  • No, Battlefield Hardline does not contain ghastly DRM

  • Lalaland 26/03/2015

    @wyp100 Oh it is but on the other hand I could install a non-Origin title on as many PCs in 24 hours as I wanted. Given that I have to be logged into Steam/Uplay/Origin to play my games what's the point in restricting install counts?

    @penhalion I think it was 5 Hardware ID hashes in 24 hours it was just that the author of the article had changed their gfx card 5 times, 5 different PCs would have the same effect
    Reply +7
  • Lalaland 26/03/2015

    @DwarfyP Quoting the original author there, I think they both suck but Origin DRM is enforcing a policy that Steamworks DRM doesn't in this case so for his purposes it really is more ghastly Reply +1
  • Lalaland 26/03/2015

    So it's not that Hardline has 'ghastly DRM' but rather that Origins is 'ghastly DRM'?

    Seems not too bad if it's a rolling 24 hour window but still a nice reminder that Steam/Origin/Uplay are all DRM
    Reply +34
  • Dead or Alive 5 tournament soft ban on "over-sexualised" costumes sparks heated debate

  • Lalaland 02/03/2015

    Wow DoA community goes nuts when people point out the game is teenage bullshit when it comes to women's costumes, colour me shocked. Honestly I think the only failure in The HuBBs list is thinking that anyone in the DoA community cares about what others think of it. This game is never going to grow anything but teenage boners, which is a real shame as it is actually quite a fun fighting system and if it wasn't stuffed to the gills with fan service it would be a great intro game. Reply -6
  • Video: Dying Light - Ian and Johnny have an argument

  • Lalaland 06/02/2015

    Did Johnny's arguments really fall back on the old 'you're doing it wrong' school of forum bores? Frankly Ian's arguments seemed far more convincing to me, I've only seen a few videos and it seems the combat goes from 30 hits to kill to 2 with no in between and that voice acting and script are dire. Reply 0
  • Telltale's Game of Thrones plagued by save bug on Xbox One

  • Lalaland 06/02/2015

    I think we need to stop giving Telltale a pass on their tech issues, this issue of save wiping bugs has been a thing for years combined with their shonky engine is no longer good enough. They can't claim to be ingenues at this any more this is what the 5th or 6th title on this tech and it still has engine perf. issues even on PC. It's especially galling to me because I like their output but I never buy until the last episode as you've a better chance of getting a working piece of software then.

    Do Telltale even bother pretending to care about this stuff any more?
    Reply +35
  • Dying Light dev reveals 3D-printable zombie bikini figurine

  • Lalaland 15/01/2015

    The fuck Techland? Jesus what is it with their female zombie torso fetish? Reply -4
  • Games of 2014: Destiny

  • Lalaland 26/12/2014

    Great article Tom that sums up my own feelings, enjoyed the grind but got pissed off when Bungie hit the reset with TDB. As an aside I feel Bungie's communications have been awful, I actually feel for Deej as he's the the tip of the spear on this.
    The weekly updates have been either full of fluff or vague non-commital responses. When the exotic reset was announced the subsequent update said "Your feedback is clear: The time you have invested in your stuff should be respected" yet the system launched as described and is as disrespectful to my time as expected, yet since then nothing. I just can't be arsed regrinding from scratch the kit I've already put dozens of hours into levelling, especially with the strong suspicion it will be reset again with the next expansion.
    Get your shit together Bungie.
    Reply +2
  • Alien vs. Predator (2000) free on GOG until Friday

  • Lalaland 15/10/2014

    AVP 2000 is the best AvP, my hope for Alien: Isolation is that gives me that fear that the Marine segments did back in the day. All tooled up and still just a walking target for the other big bads, get this game and learn to love the powerlessness. The Alien sections were ace too, with a neat life cycle story, man I loved eating me some humans, Predator was the weakest campaign IMO but for €0.00/£0.00/$0.00 what are you waiting for! Reply +10
  • Sleeping Dogs follow-up Triad Wars is a PC online game

  • Lalaland 22/09/2014

    Boooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!! Reply +5
  • Microsoft UK confirms it is behind cheeky Destiny fragrance ad

  • Lalaland 05/09/2014

    +1 to you MS, I love this good natured 'cheeky' advertising Reply -6
  • Editor's blog: A brief note about "GamerGate"

  • Lalaland 02/09/2014

    Couldn't agree more this whole thing has at it's root a child like fear of criticism held by some gamers. I'm a gamer and have identified as such for years yet as I've grown older and started to look at the other media I've enjoyed I found myself wondering why my favourite form of media did not evolve alongside those others. Even HL2 is not much more than 'shoot mans, go here' but it at least had good writing. All too many of the games I enjoy have all the sophistication of the film 'Commando'. I enjoy them immensely, much as I do Commando, but I wouldn't be pulling that out of my BluRay collection if someone were to ask me 'prove that action films can be more than stuff blowing up'.

    When did people get so damn attached to the label gamer that they feel targeted by articles ridiculing the label? I support a whole bunch of positions that are far from universally popular but I've never felt threatened by criticism of them and certainly not so threatened as to believe that my only response is to abuse someone online. The overwhelming feel of this whole conversation is one of 'playing the man not the ball', a sense that because some are inexplicably threatened by people pointing out that there aren't a lot of female characters that go beyond the virgin/whore/victim archetypes in games they spend all day searching for 'moral' weakness. Every major figure in history would crumble under such scrutiny, MLK was unfaithful, Churchill ordered chemical weapon attacks against the Kurds, etc, etc.
    Reply +8
  • The worst games I've ever played, by Ellie Gibson

  • Lalaland 28/08/2014

    Boooo!!! Will miss Ellie's sense of fun and humour but most of all her seeming imperviousness to hype and BS. Good luck in the future! Reply +3
  • "The transformation was painful. We paid the price"

  • Lalaland 08/08/2014

    The entitlement on display from Cervat is mind boggling here, you are not entitle to 'delay' payments to staff and expect them to be cool with this. You don't get to whine about 'loyalty' when you fail in your contractual obligations to pay people. There is just no sense this guy is even capable of conceiving that any of this might be the result of strategic missteps or hubris. The US market is one of the most heavily studied for costs on earth, how did they get their sums so badly wrong? Reply +18
  • Video: The flattest performances by Hollywood actors in games

  • Lalaland 10/07/2014

    David Duchovny in XIII, I honestly feared he was slipping into a coma while recording the lines Reply +8