Keresky Comments

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  • Civilian massacring game Hatred courts controversy, gets it

  • Keresky 17/10/2014

    Oh hey, it's a gritty Postal reboot. Sigh. Reply 0
  • Anita Sarkeesian cancels university speech following school shooting threat

  • Keresky 15/10/2014

    Simply fucking pitiful. Not just the virginal, limpdicked sociopath pulling this stunt, but all the subhuman knuckledraggers enabling his behaviour. If you need to understand how legitimate this "GamerGate" movement is, look no further than its pondscum supporters. At this point, backing GamerGate because you feel there are issues with game journalism is like palling around with a local neo-Nazi group just because they share your concerns about excessive government surveillance.

    You don't like what Anita Sarkeesian has to say? Here's a radical fucking idea: JUST DON'T LISTEN TO IT. Nobody is forcing you to watch her videos, and if your response to "women are routinely mistreated and victimised in the gaming industry" is to mistreat and victimise the woman making that point, guess what? SHE MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING THERE, BRUV.

    I hear idiots spewing garbage all day every day in a dozen different channels, but amazingly enough, I'm not driven to send them rape and murder threats.
    Reply +13
  • Chronicle: RuneScape Legends card battler revealed

  • Keresky 13/10/2014

    @16-bit Yeah. They start talking about RuneScape Legends. Halfway through the article, they jump on a ridiculous two-wheeled vehicle so they can cruise over to a different computer and finish that article on how Destiny players found yet another unfinished DLC area in the base game. Reply +2
  • Bayonetta 2 review

  • Keresky 13/10/2014

    Excellent news. Shame it's doomed to sell about 3 copies because of its choice of platform. Reply -22
  • Destiny player finds another under construction DLC area

  • Keresky 10/10/2014

    @dirtysteve How soon we forget that SNES carts used to run 50 to 70 quid, or 90 to 125 once you factor in inflation. Gaming these days is a hell of a lot cheaper than it used to be.

    That said, this DLC situation is fucking pathetic. Even overlooking the fact that this stuff seems to be on-disc or already patched in, it's just a bunch of same-y little areas shoved into the middle of existing missions. Compared to how Borderlands handled its DLC, this is a joke.
    Reply -2
  • Kingdom Hearts 3 switches to Unreal Engine 4

  • Keresky 07/10/2014

    "Square Enix's Japan-based developers have experience with Unreal. It used it to create RPG The Last Remnant, for example."

    Yes, and The Last Remnant was a borderline-unplayable slideshow as a result.
    Reply -1
  • Bungie discussing matchmaking for Destiny's Raid

  • Keresky 06/10/2014

    @TheBlueMagician Beats not being able to play it at all. What you guys don't seem to realize is that it's better to have to struggle through with a shitty group than have entire portions of the game locked off to me because I don't have the free time to assemble a catass clan with overlapping schedule. Reply +8
  • Alien: Isolation review

  • Keresky 03/10/2014

    @UkHardcore23 IGN also gave Godhand a 3/10. In terms of review scores, they have about as much credibility as Jim Sterling. I'd pay more attention to what other outlets are saying. Reply +8
  • Demon's Souls still feels fresher than its "Dark" successors

  • Keresky 03/10/2014

    "This near-sighted field of view is exasperated by the generally claustrophobic level design, full of narrow corridors and tight stairwells."

    I think the word you're looking for is "exacerbated". Other than that, great article.
    Reply +5
  • Sony website mentions Resident Evil Revelations 2 for Vita

  • Keresky 16/09/2014

    @ghostgate2001 You seem to be conveniently overlooking 12, which was fantastic.

    As for bringing back Sakaguchi: give me a break. Sakaguchi stopped having significant involvement in FF after V, with the exception of the weirdly Disney-ish IX. Sure, Mist Walker has cranked out a few semi-decent games, but let's not forget that Sakaguchi is also responsible for the coiled turd that was Blue Dragon, which makes FFXIII look like gaming gold by comparison.

    If they really need to lure anybody back to the company, it's Yasumi Matsuno.
    Reply +4
  • Microsoft buys Mojang and Minecraft for $2.5bn

  • Keresky 15/09/2014

    What a completely idiotic business decision. Yes, Minecraft has generated $500M in revenues, but how much growth are we going to see over the next few years? What happens when the Minecraft fad starts dying down?

    Let's not forget that Microsoft's track record for acquisitions has frankly been shit. FASA Studio got kicked to the curb after their attempt to turn Shadowrun into Counter-Strike, Ensemble was shut down after Halo Wars, Rare has been reduced to making crappy Wii Sports clones, and the list goes on. Mojang can't even iterate on Minecraft the way Lionhead, 343, and Turn 10 have been.
    Reply +3
  • Video: Watch us take on Destiny's Moon Strike

  • Keresky 12/09/2014

    @Crosshash There are not enough upvotes for this. Reply +3
  • The next Ace Attorney game features Sherlock Holmes

  • Keresky 11/09/2014

    @chucklepie As Akhrati points out, "Gothic Lolita" is a specific fashion movement hearkening back to Victorian dress. It's nothing to do with Nabukov, genius. Reply +8
  • EA announces SimCity BuildIt for iPhone, iPad and Android devices

  • Keresky 10/09/2014

    I got as far as "designed for mobile devices" and gave up. After the abortion that was EA's Dungeon Keeper "reboot", I have zero faith that this will be anything other than a pile of wank. Reply 0
  • Destiny thrills, but the big picture rings hollow

  • Keresky 10/09/2014

    So in summary, Destiny is basically a pretty decent title that's being mis-marketed as the Greatest Thing in Gaming. Pretty much square with my beta impressions.

    I'll be sticking to Borderlands for my loot and shoot needs, thanks.
    Reply +39
  • Xbox One's Japanese launch musters half sales of Xbox 360

  • Keresky 10/09/2014

    @Yautja_Warrior Except PS4 sold 322K units in the same span of time. The Bone couldn't even manage 10% of that. Reply +1
  • PS4 passes 1m sales mark in the UK

  • Keresky 09/09/2014

    @alimokrane It'd only be hypocritical if Sony loudly proclaimed that sales figures don't matter during the PS3 era. Companies trumpeting the good news from the rooftops and whispering the bad? Just standard corporate communications policy. Reply +3
  • The Sun Also Rises covers the war on terror from multiple perspectives

  • Keresky 04/09/2014

    @Laporchmonkey Your mum sucks. Reply +13
  • Destiny's timed-exclusive PlayStation content shown off in new footage

  • Keresky 28/08/2014

    Console-exclusive content usually isn't worth writing home about. Nice to see Bungie continuing this trend with a bunch of inconsequential pack-ins. Reply +5
  • Bungie on the Destiny level cap, raids and game size

  • Keresky 21/08/2014

    @witchdrash Sadly, that sounds about accurate. Oh well. Reply 0
  • Keresky 21/08/2014

    @Lunastra78 Looking forward to picking up the inevitable Game of the Year edition second-hand in a year or two. I go second-hand with all Activision games anyway, but the clueless marketing and shitty treatment of Marty O'Donnell kind of cemented it. Reply +7
  • Keresky 21/08/2014

    "If I'm honest with you, it blew my mind, because it's the biggest game we've ever made."

    What did the Halos consist of, two rooms and a corridor each?

    Seriously, tho': I hate to break it to Bungie, but if you're going to make a first-person looter and offer a game world that's barely a fraction the size of Borderlands with significantly undercooked progression mechanics, you shouldn't be surprised if people come away less than impressed. You're not just competing against yourselves here.
    Reply +39
  • Watch Dogs is Ubisoft's last mature game for Wii U

  • Keresky 19/08/2014

    @BuryTheHammer This is why the Wii U has no third party support, and why I will never buy a Wii U. No sense in spending money on a console that only gets the latest annualized rehashes of the same four franchises Nintendo has been hefting around since the N64/GameCube days. Reply -2
  • Keresky 19/08/2014

    @spamdangled If so, bear in mind that their "highest-performing title" also didn't shift enough copies to justify a sequel. By that logic, the correct position would be to pull all support, period. Reply +3
  • Keresky 19/08/2014

    @simsini Do we have a more credible source for that 700K figure beyond VGChartz? I stopped paying attention to them a while ago because a lot of their numbers seem to be based on fudging and guesswork, especially after NPD stopped making their sales metrics available to the general public.

    Bear in mind 700K means ZombiU had a better than 10% attach rate, considering less than 7 million WiiUs were shipped (not sold) as of end of June.

    Also bear in mind that ACIV on XBOne was just a port of an existing game, whereas ZombiU was created from scratch. The breakeven point for the two is going to be rather different as a result.
    Reply +7
  • Rise of the Tomb Raider exclusive to Xbox One

  • Keresky 12/08/2014

    @Kremlik This. Precisely this. After pissing and moaning about the actually pretty decent sales of the previous game, what earthly logic is there in making the sequel exclusive to the console that's being significantly outsold by its nearest competitor?

    The only way this decision could be any more moronic is if they'd decided to make it a Wii U exclusive. (I'm looking at you, Platinum.)
    Reply +2
  • BioShock 1 announced for iPhone and iPad

  • Keresky 04/08/2014

    @uncleniccius I believe Ken Levine mentioned that the Vita game was supposed to be more of a Final Fantasy Tactics-esque affair. There was a news story a few days back about it. Reply +6
  • Looks like Final Fantasy creator Sakaguchi's next game is Terra Battle

  • Keresky 27/06/2014

    Having Sakaguchi doing mobile games is like seeing Spielberg reduced to directing five-minute viral videos for YouTube. Pathetic. Reply +7
  • Have mobile graphics finally surpassed last-gen console?

  • Keresky 26/06/2014

    Yeah, good luck making games look like that when you're pitching to a market that considers Flappy Bird the cutting edge of entertainment software and won't pay more than two quid for a title. Reply +2
  • Mario Kart 8 review

  • Keresky 15/05/2014

    @DizzyCriminal "When they announce a new Zelda, Metroid or Starfox game... the U is only next gen console that's offering something new."

    Something new like, uh, the latest, modestly updated installments in franchises that are almost 30 years old in places?

    I own both a 3DS and a Wii, but the only thing the Wii U offers at the moment is HD versions of the same titles Nintendo has been milking for years. The last time they brought out an actual new property was over a decade ago, so let's stop pretending they're seriously innovating anywhere other than that silly, pointless tablet controller gimmick.
    Reply -15
  • Keresky 15/05/2014

    @memeroot Or maybe the world isn't interested in an underpowered console whose only semi-decent games are uninspired retreads of the same Nintendo properties that have been kicking around for decades. If you're not interested in Mario, there's precious little reason to own a Wii U. Reply -14
  • 3D Realms reveals PC and PS4 action-RPG Bombshell

  • Keresky 15/05/2014

    You know, this looks like a modestly talented art student's final modeling assignment. On those merits, this looks OK.

    As a game trailer, though? Excuse me while I laugh.
    Reply +3
  • Bound By Flame review

  • Keresky 13/05/2014

    @menage You know what else wouldn't go amiss? Artists designing female characters that don't dress like hookers. Reply +3
  • Nintendo slumps to another annual loss after dismal Wii U sales

  • Keresky 08/05/2014

    To be fair, launching yet another underpowered console with a gimmicky controller might have worked out if they weren't pitching to actual gamers this time. But after aggressively alienating the hardcore crowd with the Wii, it was going to take a lot more to win them back. Showing up with hardware marginally better than the last generation of consoles isn't going to do the trick, especially if you don't have the triple-A titles to back it up.

    With the third parties fleeing for the exits, Nintendo really needed to step up their game on the software side. Problem is, what's there displays Activision-like levels of creative failure: yet another New Super Mario Bros game, yet another Smash Bros., yet another Mario Kart, yet another Pikmin, and an HD remake of the least-loved Zelda game since those CD-I atrocities. Seriously? How about a new Zelda, a non-crappy Metroid, or - god forbid - a new franchise entirely? These annualized retreads of Nintendo's old glories might be great for the diehards, but aren't going to convince the general gaming public to hop on board a rapidly sinking ship.
    Reply 0
  • "We're not evil villains building an empire"

  • Keresky 14/04/2014

    Also, can we stop referring to these twats as "developers"? That's like calling bankrobbers "entrepreneurs". Reply +4
  • Keresky 14/04/2014

    "Games Guru"? I guess it looks better on a business card than "Ripoff-In-Chief" or "Clonemaster". Reply +2
  • Firaxis announces Sid Meier's Civilization: Beyond Earth

  • Keresky 13/04/2014

    I was at the panel where they announced this, and they gave a few details about what to expect:

    - It's based on the Civ V engine, so it'll be hex-based. The planet will be randomly generated each time and contain existing alien fauan.
    - Like SMAC, there's various factions with particular benefits. The two mentioned in the presentation were the Pan-Asian Collective and a group the designers referred to as "Space Google".
    - Instead of a tech tree, there's a tech web.
    - In addition, there's three 'affinities' that you gain as you progress through the game and make tech choices. Harmony is about harnessing the alien fauna and changing your own genetics to match. Purity is about preserving the human essence, and sports heavy firepower. The third (whose name escapes me) is about embracing the true potential of technology, and uses robotics, nanotechnology, and suchlike.
    - There's a "first contact" victory condition - apparently, there's an intelligent alien race that left traces of its existence on the world.
    Reply +18
  • Human Element's episodic Ouya prequel has been canned

  • Keresky 26/03/2014

    @grassyknoll Wasn't he just a glorified marketing guy at IW anyway? Reply 0
  • Yaiba: Ninja Gaiden Z review

  • Keresky 21/03/2014

    The developers of Turning Point: Fall of Liberty and Legendary: The Box live up to their track record. Oh well. Reply +5
  • Mad Catz Mojo review

  • Keresky 23/02/2014

    Crap hardware aside, the biggest problem with microconsoles is the fact that they're relying on mobile gaming - real gaming's inbred, meth-cooking cousin twice removed - for content. At this point, investing in developers is as critical as investing in hardware. Otherwise, punters are paying 200 quid for the privilege of playing Flappy Bird on an HDTV. Reply +7
  • Unreal Tournament retrospective

  • Keresky 23/02/2014

    Just a fantastic game in every sense of the word, and a real paradigm shift for what a multiplayer FPS could be. I felt a little sorry for id, to be honest - Q3A wasn't a terrible game, but just seemed utterly half-assed in comparison to the wealth of maps and gameplay modes Epic brought to the table. Reply +1
  • Ken Levine discusses BioShock Infinite: Burial at Sea Episode 1's ending

  • Keresky 16/11/2013

    @vert1go Don't kid yourself. Some of us actually appreciate it when a game attempts to tell a more sophisticated story then "ARMY MANS SHOOTS ALL THE TERRORISTS" or "OMG MARIO THE PRINCESS HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED AGAIN CAN YOU BELIEVEEEE IT??"

    Don't like it? Don't play it. You sound like you'd probably be happier teabagging some 14-year-old's virtual corpse while calling him a "homo" over voicechat.
    Reply +10
  • Batman: Arkham Origins launches with half the sales of Arkham City

  • Keresky 28/10/2013

    I'll admit I'm waiting for a price drop. The switch in developers, driven by a clear-cut attempt to turn the Arkham series into a CoD-style annualized franchise, didn't sit right with me, and I've got far too much of a backlog at this point. Reply +2
  • The strongest next-gen line-up from the unlikeliest source

  • Keresky 28/10/2013

    So, let's get this straight. The Wii U is the console to beat this winter because it has...

    - Yet another Mario rehash, the latest installment in a franchise that's basically become Call of Duty with mushrooms;
    - Ports of, uh, Assassin's Creed and Call of Duty;
    - A marginally enhanced remake of a widely reviled last-gen action RPG;
    - A marginally enhanced remake of a somewhat less reviled last-gen action RPG;
    - Pikmin;
    - Another gimmicky Wii party game;
    - ZombiU;
    - The Wonderful 101;

    I'm sorry, but that's a pretty sad lineup. The PS4/XBone launch slate isn't great either, but the Wii U's been out for a year. If this is the best it can muster, Nintendo's in genuine trouble.
    Reply -12
  • Ouya founder Julie Uhrman on the little box that could

  • Keresky 26/09/2013

    @okraM "PR disasters aside, I like it more than my ps3 and it was 300 cheaper."

    Watch for okraM's next post, where he claims that the upcoming Angry Birds cart racer "makes GTA V look like amateur hour" and asks, "Who needs Destiny when you've got Where's My Water?"
    Reply +3
  • GameStop to restock out of print vintage titles

  • Keresky 14/08/2013

    Crooks, plain and simple. If there's demand, do the decent thing and just reprint the damn thing at sufficient quantities to satisfy customer demand, then sell at MSRP. This is nothing more than blatant scalping by some of the gaming industry's most crooked players. Reply 0
  • Final Fantasy 12's cancelled follow-up revealed in artwork, video

  • Keresky 12/08/2013

    @Acquiescence Did we play the same game? Because the XII I played had a beautifully designed and lived-in world, fantastic script, and a real sense of place and history that's been sorely lacking from the rest of the series. Reply +5
  • GoatUp 2 review

  • Keresky 24/07/2013

    "...even as he's demonstrated increasing frustration at the lack of attention his games have been getting."

    Maybe if his games didn't look like they'd parachuted in from 1983, more people would be inclined to buy them. I realize this visual style is his "thing", but I can't see the average iOS consumer looking at a screenshot of this and immediately hitting the purchase button, no matter how great the actual gameplay is.
    Reply +4
  • Plagiarised versions of Magnetized made it onto XBLIG, Google Play

  • Keresky 18/07/2013

    I'd swear that the amount of cloning and outright game theft in the mobile/independent gaming industry has reached epidemic proportions. Reply +7
  • Superbly animated metroidvania Legend of Iya takes to Kickstarter

  • Keresky 18/07/2013

    Nice visuals, but that music is wank. Reply +2