Keresky Comments

  • "We're not evil villains building an empire"

  • Keresky 14/04/2014

    Also, can we stop referring to these twats as "developers"? That's like calling bankrobbers "entrepreneurs". Reply +4
  • Keresky 14/04/2014

    "Games Guru"? I guess it looks better on a business card than "Ripoff-In-Chief" or "Clonemaster". Reply +2
  • Firaxis announces Sid Meier's Civilization: Beyond Earth

  • Keresky 13/04/2014

    I was at the panel where they announced this, and they gave a few details about what to expect:

    - It's based on the Civ V engine, so it'll be hex-based. The planet will be randomly generated each time and contain existing alien fauan.
    - Like SMAC, there's various factions with particular benefits. The two mentioned in the presentation were the Pan-Asian Collective and a group the designers referred to as "Space Google".
    - Instead of a tech tree, there's a tech web.
    - In addition, there's three 'affinities' that you gain as you progress through the game and make tech choices. Harmony is about harnessing the alien fauna and changing your own genetics to match. Purity is about preserving the human essence, and sports heavy firepower. The third (whose name escapes me) is about embracing the true potential of technology, and uses robotics, nanotechnology, and suchlike.
    - There's a "first contact" victory condition - apparently, there's an intelligent alien race that left traces of its existence on the world.
    Reply +19
  • Human Element's episodic Ouya prequel has been canned

  • Keresky 26/03/2014

    @grassyknoll Wasn't he just a glorified marketing guy at IW anyway? Reply 0
  • Yaiba: Ninja Gaiden Z review

  • Keresky 21/03/2014

    The developers of Turning Point: Fall of Liberty and Legendary: The Box live up to their track record. Oh well. Reply +5
  • Mad Catz Mojo review

  • Keresky 23/02/2014

    Crap hardware aside, the biggest problem with microconsoles is the fact that they're relying on mobile gaming - real gaming's inbred, meth-cooking cousin twice removed - for content. At this point, investing in developers is as critical as investing in hardware. Otherwise, punters are paying 200 quid for the privilege of playing Flappy Bird on an HDTV. Reply +7
  • Unreal Tournament retrospective

  • Keresky 23/02/2014

    Just a fantastic game in every sense of the word, and a real paradigm shift for what a multiplayer FPS could be. I felt a little sorry for id, to be honest - Q3A wasn't a terrible game, but just seemed utterly half-assed in comparison to the wealth of maps and gameplay modes Epic brought to the table. Reply +1
  • Ken Levine discusses BioShock Infinite: Burial at Sea Episode 1's ending

  • Keresky 16/11/2013

    @vert1go Don't kid yourself. Some of us actually appreciate it when a game attempts to tell a more sophisticated story then "ARMY MANS SHOOTS ALL THE TERRORISTS" or "OMG MARIO THE PRINCESS HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED AGAIN CAN YOU BELIEVEEEE IT??"

    Don't like it? Don't play it. You sound like you'd probably be happier teabagging some 14-year-old's virtual corpse while calling him a "homo" over voicechat.
    Reply +10
  • Batman: Arkham Origins launches with half the sales of Arkham City

  • Keresky 28/10/2013

    I'll admit I'm waiting for a price drop. The switch in developers, driven by a clear-cut attempt to turn the Arkham series into a CoD-style annualized franchise, didn't sit right with me, and I've got far too much of a backlog at this point. Reply +2
  • The strongest next-gen line-up from the unlikeliest source

  • Keresky 28/10/2013

    So, let's get this straight. The Wii U is the console to beat this winter because it has...

    - Yet another Mario rehash, the latest installment in a franchise that's basically become Call of Duty with mushrooms;
    - Ports of, uh, Assassin's Creed and Call of Duty;
    - A marginally enhanced remake of a widely reviled last-gen action RPG;
    - A marginally enhanced remake of a somewhat less reviled last-gen action RPG;
    - Pikmin;
    - Another gimmicky Wii party game;
    - ZombiU;
    - The Wonderful 101;

    I'm sorry, but that's a pretty sad lineup. The PS4/XBone launch slate isn't great either, but the Wii U's been out for a year. If this is the best it can muster, Nintendo's in genuine trouble.
    Reply -12
  • Ouya founder Julie Uhrman on the little box that could

  • Keresky 26/09/2013

    @okraM "PR disasters aside, I like it more than my ps3 and it was 300 cheaper."

    Watch for okraM's next post, where he claims that the upcoming Angry Birds cart racer "makes GTA V look like amateur hour" and asks, "Who needs Destiny when you've got Where's My Water?"
    Reply +3
  • GameStop to restock out of print vintage titles

  • Keresky 14/08/2013

    Crooks, plain and simple. If there's demand, do the decent thing and just reprint the damn thing at sufficient quantities to satisfy customer demand, then sell at MSRP. This is nothing more than blatant scalping by some of the gaming industry's most crooked players. Reply 0
  • Final Fantasy 12's cancelled follow-up revealed in artwork, video

  • Keresky 12/08/2013

    @Acquiescence Did we play the same game? Because the XII I played had a beautifully designed and lived-in world, fantastic script, and a real sense of place and history that's been sorely lacking from the rest of the series. Reply +5
  • GoatUp 2 review

  • Keresky 24/07/2013

    "...even as he's demonstrated increasing frustration at the lack of attention his games have been getting."

    Maybe if his games didn't look like they'd parachuted in from 1983, more people would be inclined to buy them. I realize this visual style is his "thing", but I can't see the average iOS consumer looking at a screenshot of this and immediately hitting the purchase button, no matter how great the actual gameplay is.
    Reply +4
  • Plagiarised versions of Magnetized made it onto XBLIG, Google Play

  • Keresky 18/07/2013

    I'd swear that the amount of cloning and outright game theft in the mobile/independent gaming industry has reached epidemic proportions. Reply +7
  • Superbly animated metroidvania Legend of Iya takes to Kickstarter

  • Keresky 18/07/2013

    Nice visuals, but that music is wank. Reply +2
  • American McGee cancels failing OZombie Kickstarter

  • Keresky 16/07/2013

    This is actually a much better use of McGee's time and money than trying to capitalize on three of the lamest pop-culture fads of the past five years simultaneously (zombies, steampunk, fairytale reimaginings). Madness Returns was wank from a gameplay perspective, but beautifully designed. By removing the need for an actual game and just focusing on the visuals, Spicy Horse are playing to their strengths. Reply +3
  • Deus Ex: The Fall review

  • Keresky 10/07/2013

    A sub-standard mobile game from the publisher that gave us Final Fantasy: All the Bravest? Shocking.

    In all seriousness: they should have just bitten the bullet and made this a 3DS/Vita title instead of trying to shoehorn a real game into a control method designed for Twitter updates and web browsing.
    Reply +25
  • The Neverhood creators launch Kickstarter for spiritual successor Armikrog

  • Keresky 17/06/2013

    Fun fact: Doug TenNapel is a gay-bashing homophobe and right-wing nutbar. Good to see the Kickstarter heading for failure. Everybody who supports this degenerate should be ashamed of themselves. Reply 0
  • Used game sales can be limited by making better games, Nintendo's Reggie Fils-Aime says

  • Keresky 15/06/2013

    @darth_paul Oh, you mean franchises that actually try to push the technical envelope and take advantage of next-generation hardware instead of cranking out product that's almost indistinguishable from a GameCube game? ::sigh:: Nintendo brings fantastic gameplay to the table, but good god, let's not pretend that something like Pikmin 3 took more time and effort than, say, accurately digitizing hundreds of distinct athletes year after year, or trying to motion capture a dog. Reply -4
  • Keresky 14/06/2013

    Annualized games, Reggie? You mean incremental upgrades to an existing franchise that are barely distinguishable from the previous game in the series? You mean franchises that have gone on for 25 years on the exact same basic gameplay model and are now completely bereft of innovation?

    In other words, you mean Mario Kart, Mario Party, Pokemon, Donkey Kong, and now the New Super Mario Brothers franchise?
    Reply -13
  • Super Smash Bros. for Wii U and 3DS due 2014

  • Keresky 11/06/2013

    @simsini So I guess you're really looking forward to Donkey Kong Country Returns Yet Again, New Super Mario Brothers World Land 3D, Yet Another Mario Party, Mario Kart 5,000,001, and Wind Waker: Marginally Improved Edition. You can whine about annualized gaming all you want, but a hell of a lot more effort goes into each and every one of those franchises than the half-assed drivel Nintendo is populating their underpowered failure of a console with. Reply -13
  • Live: Nintendo Direct E3 Conference

  • Keresky 11/06/2013

    @kinky_mong No need for valium. This stream was sleep-inducing enough already. Reply +1
  • Keresky 11/06/2013

    @simsini I'd rather have wall-to-wall grey textures than yet another goddamned Mario Kart. But given the half-assed hardware they have to work with, I guess you can't blame Nintendo for just re-heating the same old crap. Reply +1
  • Keresky 11/06/2013

    @darkmorgado Are you high? Literally every single goddamned game Nintendo showed was a rehash of an already ancient franchise. Reply +1
  • Keresky 11/06/2013

    Pathetic, but about what I expected from Nintendo: re-heated versions of the same four franchises they've been flogging for about 20+ years. Reply 0
  • Ouya review

  • Keresky 09/06/2013

    @Euronymous Kind of missing the point there, champ. Reply +1
  • Microsoft kills game ownership and expects us to smile

  • Keresky 07/06/2013

    @Stealth20k ...or you could wait and buy a real console with actual games on it. Reply -2
  • Keresky 07/06/2013

    @FireMonkey "You're so negative! Instead of crying about the fact that you were ass-raped, why didn't you mention the fact that your rapist was kind enough to use lube?" Reply +6
  • Keresky 07/06/2013

    @jackmonaghan Then it'll be amusing to see your reaction when Steam shuts down and your entire game collection becomes 100% worthless. Reply +1
  • Murdered: Soul Suspects: a detective in limbo must solve his own murder by interrogating ghosts and influencing the living

  • Keresky 06/06/2013

    Wasn't Airtight also responsible for Quantum Conundrum? Shame. Reply +2
  • Disney ends internal development at LucasArts, shifts to licensing model

  • Keresky 04/04/2013

    Pathetic. Shutting down development on real games in favor of mobile and social gaming is like announcing that you're no longer going to be making $100 million blockbusters because it's cheaper to crank out five-minute-long Flash cartoons. Reply +1
  • Free-to-play Dungeon Defenders 2 announced

  • Keresky 19/03/2013

    Oh, good. Another tower defence game. We don't have nearly enough of those already. Reply -3
  • Square Enix struggling to make money from its console games

  • Keresky 05/02/2013

    Yes, it's amazing how difficult it is to make money when you've given up making real games in favor of wank like All the Bravest. Here's a quick four-step plan to getting your mojo back: 1. Just Cause 3. Give them all the money. You won't regret it. 2. Deus Ex 2. 3. Shut down production of Lightning Returns and pump the resources back into FF Versus XIII. 4. Make nice with Matsuno again and give him FFXV. Reply +2
  • Asteroids and Pong maker Atari files for bankruptcy

  • Keresky 21/01/2013

    @Lord_BeeJee They did bring Nolan Bushnell onto their Board of Directors. But yeah, this is basically Infogrames North America filing bankruptcy to separate itself from Infogrames. Sloppy research, EG. Reply +3
  • The Rare game that never was: ex-staff member details Savannah

  • Keresky 22/08/2012

    @cloudskipa Bollocks. Kameo was originally under development for the Gamecube and put on hold multiple times after the acquisition. Viva Pinata also pre-dated the Microsoft acquisition. And oh, how very generous of Microsoft to give Rare the leeway to create sequels for two of their most critically acclaimed and popular franchises. What princes!

    But hey, ask Rare's employees how much creative freedom they're enjoying churning out shitty Wii Sports clones for the Kinect these days. I'm sure they'd love to tell you.
    Reply +3
  • Ubisoft has endured a 93-95% piracy rate on PC

  • Keresky 22/08/2012

    I see a lot of people in this comments section blaming Ubisoft's DRM for that 93 to 95% piracy rate, which is (a) kind of hilarious, and (b) desperately ignorant.

    Face the facts: Piracy is a massive and endemic problem in the PC gaming industry. It has nothing to do with game quality or copy protection, and everything to do with the underlying culture of the market. But I guess nobody remembers how, say, Stardock's Demigod (which they released DRM-free, because PC gamers deserve your respect even as they're blatantly stealing your products) suffered an 85% piracy rate and massive infrastructure problems at launch from warez kiddies logging in en masse and overwhelming the game's servers, making it unplayable for legitimate consumers. Hell, even the Humble Indie Bundle, which was a pay-as-you-want arrangement with a minimum price of $0.01 (and again, no DRM), suffered a 25% piracy rate. That's right: 25% of the folks who downloaded the game couldn't even be bothered to pay one single cent for it. At that point, any excuses you make about piracy being driven by DRM and games costing too much become laughable. Price may be a factor for the theft of triple-A releases (like Ubisoft's), but these days people steal games because they can, and because they're used to getting stuff for free.

    Hell, game theft isn't even limited to the PC platform - look at Android, where you see stories of 9:1 piracy rates and companies dropping the price of $0.99 to 'free' because nobody could apparently be bothered to even pony up a dollar for their software.

    That said, I'm not going to bother defending Ubi's actual copy protection measures, which are wank at best. As a 25-year PC gaming veteran, it's honestly sad to see how far the industry has been pushed in attempting to tackle this issue.
    Reply +2
  • Saturday Soapbox: How do you solve a problem like Mario?

  • Keresky 18/08/2012

    The original New Super Mario Bros. was already pretty creatively bankrupt - a massive step back from the innovations of SMB3 and Super Mario World, polished (and fun) but painfully conservative. If NSMB2 is just more of the same (as was the case with NSMB Wii), it's not too surprising people are taking a swing at it. The novelty of having Mario back in side-scrolling mode isn't really enough to mask the lack of creative ambition on Nintendo's part. Reply +2
  • Microsoft responds to Polytron's claims that fixing Fez would be too costly

  • Keresky 23/07/2012

    @dominicwhite You know, I'd be less inclined to respond with "fuck Phil Fish" if he hadn't previously stated that QA testers don't deserve a place in a game's credit roll. Guess word got around, huh? Reply 0
  • X-Wing Retrospective

  • Keresky 01/07/2012

    Supremacy? Really?

    Otherwise, good, solid article for a groundbreaking game way overdue for a remake or sequel. It's a shame space sims are such a niche genre these days.
    Reply -1
  • Star Wars 1313 Preview: The Force Uncharted

  • Keresky 08/06/2012

    @benfresh76 A Star Wars game without the Force? X-Wing, TIE Fighter and Dark Forces say 'hi' and remind you that great gaming doesn't require goddamned lightsabers everywhere. Reply +6
  • Kingdoms of Amalur dev struggling to stay in business

  • Keresky 15/05/2012

    "What Government run/funded program in this countries [sic] history has ever been run with an ounce of financial responsibility, prudence, or with the peoples [sic] best interest at the forefront? None, that's which one."
    -- Curt Schilling, head of 38 Studios

    Y'know, Curt, screeching about the evils of big government and its wasteful spending while taking tens of millions of dollars of taxpayer money to keep your precious game studio afloat might strike some as hypocritical. I don't wish ill on the 400 unfortunate souls stuck under this egomaniacal scumbag's direction, but a big, ugly bankruptcy would just about serve you right.
    Reply +6
  • Draw Something player numbers plummet - report

  • Keresky 03/05/2012

    @lylebot Except it's lost 30% of its player base in the span of just, what, four weeks? If they keep shedding players at that rate, Draw Something will be dead by late summer. Reply 0
  • Fez creator Phil Fish declares: modern Japanese games "just suck"

  • Keresky 07/03/2012

    Those are pretty big words for a man with a single piece of gimmicky vaporware to his name. Run your mouth when you've actually released a real game, Fish. Reply +7
  • Saturday Soapbox: 3DS Six Months On

  • Keresky 03/10/2011

    @vampiricdragon_



    "2) The 3ds has been number 1 worldwide for 2 months, number 1 in japan for almost 5 months, and number 1 in europe for about 2 months"



    Quit lying. I read the Japanese hardware figures religiously on a weekly basis, and the 3DS was getting its rosy, overpriced butt spanked by the PSP until the second week of August when the great 3DS firesale began. And you have the gall to whine that "the article doesnt have facts"? Give me a break. I've owned every major Nintendo handheld - bought the original Gameboy when it first came out - and even to me it's obvious that Nintendo overplayed its hand with the 3DS. The fact that their idea of "killer app" is a premium-priced update of a decade-old game is just adding insult to injury.
    Reply +1