JackThompsonsAnArse Comments

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  • Eurogamer's Top 50 Games of 2006: 20 - 11

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 28/12/2006

    Someone still pays Kieron Gillen to trot out his New Games Journalism? How quaint. Reply 0
  • Football Manager 2007 unveiled

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 08/06/2006

    This article made me hard. Reply 0
  • Play 360 games while leeching

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 25/05/2006

    I'm glad they've taken their time over this - the way they're implementing it (from the article) is very smart, and would have taken a lot of testing (I hope). Reply 0
  • Hilton not so dumb after all?

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 18/05/2006

    That's the first ever pictar of her that makes me want to plaster a load. Reply 0
  • Consolevania gets movie rights

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 11/04/2006

    How do you pronounce Hover Bovver? When I played it as a kid I used to say "Hower Bower" but now in my later years I have realized that was all wrong. Help me



    Err.....well the title is spelt phonetically.....
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  • Eurogamer TV gets new editor

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 10/04/2006

    Eurogamer's business development manager, Pat Garratt, took a break from his busy business development managing schedule to say:



    "I'll find that Billy the Kid, and I'll damn well run him out of town. Yeeee-haw!"
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  • MS laughs in Sony's face

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 16/03/2006

    "I'm going to buy it even if it shits in my mouth" Reply 0
  • The Sims 2: Open For Business

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 10/03/2006

    McShits ftw Reply 0
  • Peter Jackson talks next-gen

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 22/02/2006

    Err....surely HD etc as he talks about is now CURRENT gen? Granted PS3 isn't out but the 360 is... Reply 0
  • Phil Harrison on the future of PlayStation

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 14/12/2005

    18 month years FTsalesfiguresW!! Reply 0
  • Thompson shouts even louder

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 23/11/2005

    Laughing My Ass Off Reply 0
  • Eurogamer blows own trumpet

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 21/11/2005

    I'm personally amazed that Pat Garrett took the time out of his day job chasing Billy the Kid to become a Eurogamer bigwig. Reply 0
  • Spector clarifies GTA comments

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 11/11/2005

    @JackThompsonsAnArse : Please re-read the comments. Nobody here has any problems with the theme of GTA. What we are criticizing is Rockstar's dogged determination to infuse every game with controversy and make quick bucks off it, thereby damaging the whole image of gaming in the eyes of the public.



    I was commenting on the article, not commenting on the comments!



    Turok was a decent enough game, I enjoyed the physics of the bow and arrow, it was most satisfying to take down a raptor and see it on the floor with the arrow through it's head ;o)



    And the cerebral drill thing - best weapon evarrrr
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  • JackThompsonsAnArse 11/11/2005

    Sorry....I guess I'm in the minority, and I do understand Spector's comments, but I enjoyed GTA for the theme as well as the design.



    Games are escapism. I've watched Scarface many times, and, during the parts where Tony is on top, I must admit to childishly fantasising about being a plastic gangster. GTA let me do that, let me be the badass that I'd always secretly wanted to be after watching films, but never would dare (thankfully) re-enact in real life.



    Perhaps GTA's failing is Scarface's opus - that Tony Montana's empire crumbles, and that Crime Doesn't Pay - isn't in any way reflected within the game, and the morality is left up to the gamer in a certain respect.



    I for one, however, enjoyed the fact that I could come home from a bad day, hijack a police car and batter seven shades out of a pimp - and hell, even a whore.



    I'm currently enjoying The Warriors on a similar level. After a hard day's work, ten minutes stealing car stereos and kicking off gang fights is a perfect tonic.
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  • Sony settles PS2 lawsuit

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 11/11/2005

    You do know that disc lasers wear out on any optical drive eventually?



    Of course. I didn't expect my PS2's to stop reading CDs within 18 months of light usage though. My seven-year-old Pioneer DVD player has had a lot more use and the laser assembly has never once refused to play any disc. I use, and have done since the Xbox's launch, my Xbox far more than my PS2 and it still hasn't shown any problems.



    Funny how folks b*tch about this, then will complain if the PS3 is 400 quid. Take your pick. Cheap or reliable. You don't get both.



    I can't remember the exact cost of the PS2 on launch, but it was over 300 as I recall. Laser technology wasn't new back then, they just cut corners and tried to soften the loss as much as possible. Complete business sense, yet at the detriment of brand loyalty amongst consumers.



    I guess the real culprit was, Sony couldn't afford to make as much of a manufacturing loss as Microsoft.



    My Dreamcast never had a problem playing discs though, and I've used that more than my PS2....
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  • JackThompsonsAnArse 10/11/2005

    I think Sony are going through the same thing that (from my own ex-motoring journo bias) BMW and Mercedes went through - complacency of sorts, mixed with arrogance, which led them to believe they could dramatically cut costs and corners with build quality yet maintain a solid fan/userbase that would stay loyal.



    Mercedes in particular are suffering this (mid-90s) decision, and I think Sony will begin to as well. Not so long ago, if you wanted the best television in retail stores, you'd normally go for a Sony - their prices were high, because of demand and quality. Now that they've dropped the ball slightly, and their competitors met them half way by raising their own game, they've lost their USP and reputation somewhat.



    I have abused my XBOX mercilessly, and it hasn't hiccupped - yet have always treated my PS2 like it was made of eggshell and yet still have those aforementioned laser problems. You can never tell with emerging technology how hardy it'll be, but I hope the Cell-based stuff will be more robust.
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  • JackThompsonsAnArse 10/11/2005

    My own PS2 has been fairly reliable, I bought mine at launch in the UK and, although it no longer plays CD-based games, and DVD-based games do give me a Disc Read Error on first play (but then work on reboot), I feel fairly lucky.



    But only lucky in comparison to most other original PS2 owners. There were some serious cost-cuttings I think went on in production...
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  • MS on 360 allocation rumours

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 10/11/2005

    the extra year gives coders time to get used to the multiprocesser envioment and start getting more out of the machine :).



    It isn't an extra year though, is it? The development lifecycles are going to stay approximately the same, the devs for PS3 games got / are getting their devkits later than the 360 devs did.



    It's an extra year only to the consumer.
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  • Alone in the Dark

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 09/11/2005

    who didn't enjoy donning Snake's night-vision goggles or binoculars during the odd cut-scene in Metal Gear Solid 3, for example?



    I didn't realise you could do that. In fact, I was too busy mashing the START and X buttons repeatedly, or combinations of shoulder buttons with SELECT etc to try and skip the cut-scenes that I already knew for sure were unskippable.
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  • Grand Theft Auto: Liberty City Stories

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 04/11/2005

    ".after about half a minute or so of top-speed driving, the draw distance of the textures gets noticeably left behind, until I'm eventually driving in 'whiteness' as the streaming is still trying to paint textures on areas of the gameworld I no longer occupy. "



    More likely a problem with your PS2 loading slowly




    I thought that too, but then I tried it on my XBOX and got the same thing. Maybe I'm just too fast for the CPUs ;o)



    asandbrook: Nail hit squarely on head. I'm an old skool lover of the entire GTA series, from playing it on my ropey old Pentium 90 right up to San Andreas, yet fairly fundamental flaws, that do hinder my enjoyment of the game, continued to pop up year on year.



    Example:



    I *loved* being able to fly planes 'properly' in SA - but if that came at the expense of finally fixing the graphical glitches or fighting elements that so flaw an otherwise great game, I'd rather have just stayed with cars and maybe m070rb1k3s.



    The better a game - or, more aptly, a game 'dynasty' - is, the more people will play it, and the more they will, ipso facto, find more things they would like remedied.



    I'm not a R* hater - currently playing The Warriors (extremely part-time!) and loving it.
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  • JackThompsonsAnArse 04/11/2005

    I think my main issue with San Andreas, at least graphically and design-wise, was the way they opened up the game world, but kept the inherent engine.



    To elaborate what I mean: I go flying a plane, or riding a quick bike down the LA (sorry, San Andreas) river or train tracks....after about half a minute or so of top-speed driving, the draw distance of the textures gets noticeably left behind, until I'm eventually driving in 'whiteness' as the streaming is still trying to paint textures on areas of the gameworld I no longer occupy. This is also happened in previous versions, but was less apparent due to the equivalent clutter preventing long, uninterrupted journeys.
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  • JackThompsonsAnArse 04/11/2005

    Any indications from EG regarding battery life?



    Vice City was the best (3D) GTA ;o)
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  • MS sets tough 360 retail targets

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 04/11/2005

    Re the article. Doesn't this just mean the shop will buy up any slack to meet the quota rather than lose their allocation from M$? They can then put them back out on the shelf as normal. Seems pretty pointless.



    Yeah, this happens elsewhere, too. Newspapers sell you an allocation, if you don't sell them every day, tough.



    The launch line-up is being confirmed in dribs and drabs. Did you not read the Activision one?
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  • Call of Duty 2

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 03/11/2005

    Re:Halo - Um no cos it was designed for the PC and Mac first :)



    I knew a smartarse would say that ;)



    Anyway, you know what I mean. It was solely developed for Xbox, tested using Xbox controllers, etc etc etc
    Reply 0
  • JackThompsonsAnArse 03/11/2005

    Assuming these are 'general' issues regarding the FPS genre using console / controllers as a whole, here's my take on those:



    1. Its simply uncomfortable. My hands ache after 30 mins of play.

    Badly designed button configuration, or lack of user's experience with the controller. Some controllers are hideous ergonomically, too. Not an actual overall flaw in the way the control method *as a whole* works.



    2. I simply can't get the hang of the two stick method. I end up looking at the floor when I try to walk.

    I had similar issues with the first mouse 'n' keyboard FPSes I played, and then with the console controls, too. Suggest this is also lack of experience / bad implementation of controller.



    3. The acceleration of the sticks is all wrong. I just keep overshooting with my crosshair when I try and aim quickly.

    4. The crosshair moves too slowly, I can't turn around fast enough.

    5. The auto aim is bloody awful. It keeps snapping to the body when I try headshots, it keeps shooting the wrong enemy, etc.


    Bad implementation of the controller.



    I think the key aspect here, isn't the worthiness (or otherwise) of a controller as an input medium to playing games, it's the implementation of the control system for each individual game.



    Halo works best out of all the FPSes on a console, regarding input control. Is the fact that this is one of the few FPSes that were designed solely for a console first, rather than becoming a port from the PC, related to this I wonder?
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  • JackThompsonsAnArse 03/11/2005

    Cool, hope this is as good on the 360. I liked the way (in the preview vids) there's lots of communication from people etc. The first CoD I didn't really get on with, seemed like I was being forced into set pieces too much.



    As for the ridiculous health-gain-by-resting-for-a-minute, is this REALLY any more ludicrous than picking up a health kit? Games aren't realistic with regards to mortality - who'd want a game you couldn't play anymore if you 'died'?
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  • Codies unveils Maelstrom

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 03/11/2005

    post-apocalyptic earth setting



    I've a theory there are only five different PC game settings. This is one of the more used ones ;o)



    I remember a game called Maelstrom, that I used to play on (hushed tones) Macintosh. It was Asteroids with tarted-up graphics, but wasn't based in a Post-Apocalyptic Earth Setting.
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  • Activision's four for 360 launch

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 03/11/2005

    What I've seen, GUN on 360 looks pretty identical to XBOX, not sure if that's because:



    a) they've not bothered their arses to use the full 360 power and done a straight-ish port

    b) the XBOX version has been tinkered with so well that it's one of the best looking games for the system

    c) it was early screenshots / videos that I saw of the 360 version
    Reply 0
  • Japan gets Xbox 360 lounge

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 03/11/2005

    It's gone Through The Barricades?



    ;o)
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  • JackThompsonsAnArse 02/11/2005

    They ought to create a game where you get to ogle cartoon schoolgirls, with blurs over the 'naughty' parts. Beating the end of level guardian gets you a token to use at your local used-schoolgirl-panties vending machine. This token is redeemable also for a few credits on the Bullet Train Driver Simulator.



    Then the 360 will take off in Japan.



    /bolts on 'racist comment' replies retardant underwear

    //is respectful to other countries traditions, unless they involve inappropriateness towards underage girls
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  • Test Drive Unlimited

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 02/11/2005

    I just re-read the article.....



    m070rb1k3s!



    w00t
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  • JackThompsonsAnArse 02/11/2005

    The idea that you 'live' in various properties, and can see people peeling off outside your house is genius.



    I like the idea of proposing race routes via the GPS overlay....sounds epic. I hope they don't arse things up in the last 6 months of development.
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  • JackThompsonsAnArse 02/11/2005

    Crikey!



    I'm trying to stay cynical about the 360, I've got one on order so I'm trying not to get all wet about it...but....



    Crikey!
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  • Da Vinci Code game planned

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 02/11/2005

    Yeah, the other books are very much like that. Angels and Demons is the best, IMO.



    Lots of ideas creatively cribbed from that for DVC, but the main story is better developed. It just wasn't based on a 'true story' (like it or not, that was a genius piece of marketing).
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  • JackThompsonsAnArse 02/11/2005

    I thought it was an enjoyable enough book, but then I read Angels and Demons later - that *was* a decent read, IMO, and pisses all over DVC.



    I guess it's cool to bitch about something loads of people read / watch / etc though, so I better save some face...



    Yeah, it was shit! I only read it inbetween dry retches.
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  • Silent Hill movie pics released

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 02/11/2005

    Its like seeing the front cover of a CD and saying "looks like it will sound crap".



    I do that all the time. Doesn't everybody?
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  • Rev specs may not be released

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 02/11/2005

    Nobody finds the news of multiplayer on separate consoles using one disc, interesting at all?



    I definitely do, but can't really concentrate on it without having huge cynicism. How will that work then, stream the game to the other machine?



    Unless there's some kind of download thing, where you download the game but can only play it if you get sent a 'token' by the host (other) machine. But then, I doubt Ninty will start online gaming now to that degree, nor provide a HDD.



    See what I mean? I just can't fathom how this'll work. But if it does make it into the final spec, and isn't an Emotion Engine, I'll be clapping the loudest.
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  • No HD-DVD games for 360

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 01/11/2005

    Maybe you people should worry more about when you will get a HD-TV instead of a next gen DVD format. No use having that without the big fat TV.



    Got one thanks, had it since the start of the year. Loads more people will buy one before the PS3 is released, and a lot will have one by the time BluRay comes out.



    I don't think we need another DVD format... companies just want to sell us the same shite AGAIN and increase copy protection. I will just stay with DVDs for the next 5 years.



    Personally, while I won't be re-buying the DVDs that I already have when they come out in high-def, I'm waiting on buying a new DVD player until the formats have been sorted out, or someone develops a player that can play both.



    So, in other words, I'm waiting to see which one the adult film industry adopts, as they are the drivers for which format wins (see Betaxmax vs. VHS).
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  • JackThompsonsAnArse 01/11/2005

    ICO was on CD in North America and DVD for PAL. That should clear that bit up.



    Aaah, thanks. That does clear it up, thought I was going mad with me blue ICO disc.
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  • JackThompsonsAnArse 01/11/2005

    Yep. So was PES and PES 2 IIRC. Loads of early games were. Reply 0
  • JackThompsonsAnArse 01/11/2005

    Who gives a nob. If the games are great, I don't care if they're on punch cards.



    ICO remains one of the better PS2 games, but who cares that it's on CD not DVD? Well, apart from those whose PS2 drives no longer read CDs like me :o(
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  • Miyamoto predicts the future

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 01/11/2005

    Didn't Miyamoto watch Star Trek, when the holograms took over the Holodeck and then the whole ship?



    Jumping on a turtle in order to make it out of the front door in the mornings would suck.
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  • A Sensible Decision

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 01/11/2005

    Please.



    Please.



    PLEASE



    Don't let this be shit. I've had a really bad weekend watching Street Hawk and Airwolf - hopefully SOMETHING from my childhood is sacred and as good as I remember :o)
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  • BBC clarifies PS3 report

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 01/11/2005

    Do tell me, why isn't spring in Japan the same time as in the UK? Has it set sail and moved to the southern hemisphere when we weren't looking? Reply 0
  • PS3 could run at 120 fps

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 31/10/2005

    Seriously though, if he DID make the statement only regarding movies, what's the point?



    Most (i.e. the big blockbusters) movies on DVD are 'upped' to 30fps from 24fps at the cinema...Blu-Ray has been mooted to include 30fps and 60fps options for movies to run at.



    Seems overkill to me, another vacuous statement that's probably going to be nigh-on impossible to prove.



    On an unrelated note, I've got a DVD player at home that runs movies at 4 billion frames per second*. Anyone want to buy it?



    * - 4 billion FPS output requires next-next-next-next-next gen media to run.
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  • JackThompsonsAnArse 31/10/2005

    my mate reckons ps3 owns cos he said that he put three of the ps2 chips together using his dads soldering tool and basically it ran at not even half the speed of the ps3 will be able to ROFLMAO so then he decided to put 5 chips together but ran out of solder but i rememberd watching this thing on tv once where they used the skin of an apple heated up and it did the same as solder so we used an apple and it got stuff everywhere but it worked LOLOLOL! so then we tried that and although it made the graphics on grand theft san adreas much quicker and better to look at it wasnt nearly as good to look at as the ps3 will be to look at itll be just like looking through a window at animals ffs LOLOMG my mate had to take all the playstations apart afterwards cos they werent evene his he had borrowed them from a mate and one of them he rented from blockbuster videos now he is well worried they will find out what he has done cos he left loads of apple skin all over the control processpor but i said to him nah dont worry so now he isnt that would be well funny though i reckon



    Best post ever!
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  • JackThompsonsAnArse 31/10/2005

    Oh God.



    How will I ever be able to play Dead or Alive (looking at the boobies) or watch porn on this thing with a clear conscience, when it'll clearly be powerful enough to develop the formula to cure cancer?



    I just hope none of those nasty axis of evil types get hold of this and launch nukes with it.
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  • Florida to follow Cali's game law

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 31/10/2005

    While their practice may be a little shady in that regard morally, it is not the responsibility of any games shops to prevent kids playing games that they sell to their parents.



    The whole disassociated blame culture needs to be looked at, if you ask me. As does that stupid lawsuit claiming that preventing children from buying adult-themed games somehow inhibits the First Amendment.
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  • Xbox 360 launch titles revealed?

  • JackThompsonsAnArse 28/10/2005

    2bh, the fanboyism is just as tired and played-out as the "Next generation? Meh." or "XBOX360 pre-orderers have more money than sense" etc Reply 0
  • JackThompsonsAnArse 28/10/2005

    Oh God, you'll awake the FPS nazis.



    "I don't know what relevance it has to gaming either, but I'm damn well going to say it's shit without 60fps and pretend I can tell the difference"
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