Ironic_War_Criminal Comments

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  • War never changes

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 11/06/2013

    To be fair, Microsoft brought something compared to how boring and completely devoid of content Sony was. Sony should maybe remember to bring some games along if they are trying to sell a console. Reply 0
  • Microsoft explains Killer Instinct reboot's free-to-download, pay for more characters business model

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 11/06/2013

    Looks like Wez will have to update the story yet again.

    The community manager for Double helix was just on gamespot's live demo show and said that it's launching as a full priced, fully featured title. However, you can get the demo with one character, as Lobb mentioned, and then you can buy other characters piecemeal if you want and play with people who have the full game. So it's both a full game and Free 2 play.
    Reply +2
  • The Last Guardian now "on hiatus", Sony says

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 11/06/2013

    Surprise ending: Both the boy AND the griffin die Reply +3
  • Mortal Kombat's Scorpion is the next DLC character in Injustice: Gods Among Us

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 03/06/2013


    Not sure if satire on current self-entitlement of videogamers or serious
    Reply -1
  • Phil Harrison tries (again) to clarify game ownership, second-hand sales and always-online in Xbox One

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 22/05/2013

    And even after this interview was published, he changed his mind again and all policy is now "potential scenarios". So it's all moot.

    There's one potential Microsoft PR scenario probably being debated in their office right now. Never let Phil Harrison speak.
    Reply +69
  • Nintendo now claiming ad revenue for YouTube Let's Play videos

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 16/05/2013

    Actually, since EG are probably too cheap to have a SA account, here's a counter quote from Ry Soderberg, the creator of Elevator: Source who posted it on Something Awful's LP forum

    It kind of bothers me that people are justifying doing a let's play as strictly a way to get money. That's kind of the natural progression of something once it gets popular enough but it's still disturbing all the same.

    I am, as a game developer, kind of pissed off that someone out there can make more money by recording themselves playing my game than I actually get from making it in the first place. I know some popular youtube channel did a playthrough of Elevator: Source and generated roughly $500 in revenue from their video. I have gotten $0 from making the game. I don't care how much time, care, or effort you put into your videos, devs put in exponentially more generating it. I can count the number of years i've shortened my life doing inhumane shit to myself just so I can create some dumb little game and share it with everyone I know, and yet someone out there sees it as a means to get his bills paid because lp is a way to make a living now apparently.

    I feel like doing a let's play is better served as a hobby that can sometimes lead to an unexpected amount of money. It should not be a way to make money.
    Idiots yelling rape jokes on youtube should not be paid more than developers, anyway.
    Reply +9
  • Ironic_War_Criminal 16/05/2013

    It's somewhat hilarious how people are painting Nintendo to be a huge bad guy.

    The problem with the Lets Play concept is that it's a derivative work of a copyrighted product. Technically, you should be getting permission for these things if you want to make money off them. And people are getting annoyed that Nintendo are stepping in and saying "Hey, those copyrights are ours but we're going to be nice and just take the advertisement money. You can just do this as a hobby if you like". And people are getting mad because "HOW DARE THEY TAKE AWAY THE RIGHT FOR US TO MAKE MONEY OFF THEIR COPYRIGHTS!". Uh, you were in the wrong here. The fighting game community have to get licences off publishers for tournaments for broadcast rights. Hewlett International had to secure broadcast rights for anything featured on Gamesmaster or GamesWorld (All of them gave it for free since it was publicity, but legalities always abound. And dealing with the Stamper Bros being annoyed because Dominik Diamond made a crack about their mugs one time) The BBC has an agreement with the industry regarding showing things for criticism and had a licence agreement with Sega and creative assembly when they used Total War as part of a history based gameshow.

    Nintendo's just stepping in with the professional response to a subculture starting to make money off its product. If you want to make money, respect the legalities of it. You can't just use a song you don't own to make your own videos and profit off them and this is the videogame industry catching up to a subculture they missed the last few years.

    But then as the originators of Let's Play said themselves.


    It won't make you rich or famous or popular to members of your preferred sexual orientation or gender. Your reputation here, good or bad, does not translate to the real world. You should be here because you have a funny, silly, or just plain good idea you want to try out or even just because you want to show people a cool game they missed.
    So stop taking it seriously dunderheads.

    And the retsuprae videos of the reactions will inevitably be hilarious

    PS. for hilarity.
    Reply +8
  • Capcom expects Lost Planet 3 and Resi Revelations to sell 1.2 million

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 09/05/2013


    Capcom seems to have learned quicker than everyone else about the decline in software sales during the switchover to a new generation and to forecast more achiveable numbers rather than the obscene numbers they were coming up with last year. When even COD and FIFA were down this year. You start bringing down your numbers sharpish or else you are setting yourself up for squeaky bum time next FY statement.

    Mind you, the nerd brigade going ballistic over them posting that DmC had "solid" sales on consoles was hilarious to see everyone try play Michael Pachter worse than Michael Pachter and claim its a loss. Capcom saw the writing on everyone's wall and brought down the forecast each time when they saw sales declining (And likely fired the idiot who forecast 5 million). Posted a reasonable number eventually after reading the market and hit the target. And there's no mention of a loss either. It's a fiesta for hilarious comment sections fill with mad nerds.
    Reply -4
  • EA acquires Star Wars video game license

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 06/05/2013

    Reply +52
  • Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon review

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 30/04/2013

    We need more guilty pleasure games that are endlessly earnest in their stupidity like this and 50 Cent: Blood In The Sand. Reply +2
  • Extensive Skullgirls patch finally coming to XBLA

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 24/04/2013

    Actually EG. It's two characters being decided by backer votes as they made that stretch goal. Reply 0
  • SNES classic Earthbound headed to Wii U VC, system update due next week

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 17/04/2013


    Earthbound roms are sketchy due to the piracy protection on it and many people have played through it with anti-piracy measures on, which meant harder enemies, less HP and the game hardlocking and deleting save games before the final battle. It wasn't fixed in Roms till 2005 or so and many sites don't distribute the fixed version (Some even distribute a trained version with cheats to counter the anti-piracy measure). And even patched versions can go haywire on you depending on your emulator config.

    So it's a crapshoot on if you are getting a broken shithouse or one of the best SNES games emulated that you won't figure till the end of the game. It's not a game that you can easily emulate and one reason why emulation isn't perfect.
    Reply +1
  • Injustice: Gods Among Us Wii U delayed a week in the UK

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 15/04/2013

    Now watch Captain America punch a shark in the Injustice launch trailer below.

    Don't cross the streams, Jeffery.
    Reply +15
  • Castle of Illusion remake unveiled for PSN, XBLA and PC

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 15/04/2013

    Ex-Rare composer Grant Kirkhope is doing the soundtrack for this game as well.
    Reply +1
  • The next Xbox will be fully integrated into your TV via a cable box connection - report

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 11/04/2013


    You're posting on a videogame site. You are already a mindless bleating sheep.
    Reply -8
  • Ironic_War_Criminal 11/04/2013


    Been doing Eurogamers job better than Eurogamer, anyway.
    Reply -10
  • Ironic_War_Criminal 10/04/2013


    Because the gaming community is full of morons who will take the insipid ramblings of an idiot on twitter as the complete gospel truth about a next generation console while a leak which while clearly aimed as damage control, is very still very plausible that it is real information due to Microsoft's history of using selective leaks to reputable sites as damage control, is posted by a very reputable site for leaks gets ignored because it breaks the clickbait narrative of websites.

    And the community ignores it because it completely shatters their narrative on the console and they can't face it. As you can see with the amount of posts ignoring the leak here because you are going to get negged to death for ignoring the narrative that the console is the "always online kinect box abloo bloo".
    Reply +3
  • Microsoft creative director dismisses "drama" around always-online consoles

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 05/04/2013

    While they neither seem to confirm or deny what the world's greatest Creative Director said this morning, the fact they haven't just flatly denied it is a worrying sign.

    Yes. We should totally expect that a company will completely reveal plans before a product launch quietly to keep a few nerds quiet before the big glitzy product launch.

    Put the tinfoil away, son.
    Reply -10
  • Ironic_War_Criminal 05/04/2013

    Is the comments section still broken and people in it still morons?

    Yes? OK, Carry on then.
    Reply -13
  • Ironic_War_Criminal 05/04/2013

    Whiny Dev on Twitter + Shitty journalism + Easily duped nerds who jump to conclusions = Broken Comments Section

    Or the website intentionally crapped itself because it saw what the Wage Gap article comments section became yesterday and committed suicide before it saw more awful posts.
    Reply -8
  • Ironic_War_Criminal 05/04/2013


    Uppity nerds taking everything you say as 100% conformation and looking for a flame war and websites looking for clickbait will somewhat do it to you.

    We should rename Games Journalism to "Games We believe fucking anything that some designer posts on twitter and a bunch of nerds will eat it up like dogs eating their own shit"
    Reply -11
  • Ironic_War_Criminal 05/04/2013

    I'm not sure whats more pathetic. That EG reported this or thousands of people online are taking a twitter meltdown as a 100% conformation.

    No wait, the wider community is just being shit again.
    Reply -19
  • Peter Moore weighs in on EA being voted the 'worst company in America" for the second year in a row

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 05/04/2013

    EA tries to hide behind bandwagon of LGBT gamers

    Moronic retards of 4chan, Reddit and Eurogamer attack LGBT gamers even though they don't want to be associated with EA.

    Congratulations videogames! You undoubtedly have the shittiest businesses and communities of all media!
    Reply -11
  • The video game industry's gender wage gap is worse than you think

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 04/04/2013


    If there's one thing the MRA's hate more than fedora shaming, it's dem womens DARING to go near their precious videogames and by god they will shitpost on every website till the "Feminazi's" go away and cry constantly because of their "Freedom of speech" is in peril when that freedom of speech is creeping over underage girls in MMO's not wearing much.
    Reply -3
  • Ironic_War_Criminal 04/04/2013


    unlike literature or film, there's not any kind of significant academic presence that could tear their arguments limb from limb, so they pretty much get to say whatever baseless crap they like

    Because the sort of people who would love to do that sort of analysis also get attacked by the same Reddit/4chan morons who hate feminism so much they have to angrily post in comments section about the "Feminazis" for daring to analyse videogames deeper and not coming to the conclusions they want to hear.

    All you are crying for is the echochamber you want and not someone elses.
    Reply -3
  • Telltale nearly scrapped The Walking Dead's Clementine a week before recording

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 02/04/2013

    Doug was my brosef for life and could fix things and teach Clem cool things while Carley couldn't hit the broadside of a barn. I stand by my choice. Reply +10
  • Telltale Games details new series The Wolf Among Us

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 28/03/2013


    It's the point of TWD, dingus. The destination is the same but everyone has a different journey through it, so you can compare and contrast with your friends how you approached different parts of an episode than they did while also reaching the same goals. They never said there was going to be completely open ended gameplay with vastly different outcomes. Just that your choices will have some effects on the story.
    Reply +2
  • Ironic_War_Criminal 28/03/2013

    Fables up to issue 50 was great, then it went into rapid decline and then Bill Willingham started to have a meltdown because things were more popular than his comic and started being an egotistical shit (Including a famous meltdown at Venture Bros. fans because they showed up for a panel after his and instead of selling the comic to them, he went on a massive rant about how he was being disrespected as a creator).

    And the Jack Of Fables spin off is skin crawlingly awful on top of that.

    I'm hoping Telltale work their magic on this and Willingham's contribution is simply to sign off on it. Otherwise I would be very, very worried.
    Reply +1
  • Army of Two: The Devil's Cartel review

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 28/03/2013

    At least the first one was hilarious and had a "No single fucks given" mentality to the proceedings like having a conversation about who the best Wu-Tang Member is in battle and distracting enemies when flanking by Salem yelling "LADIES, LIFT YA SHIRTS!"

    And fist bumping. Lots of fist bumping.

    Man, the original Army Of Two had no right to be as entertaining as it was. Up there with 50 Cent: Blood In The Sand for sheer guilty pleasure.
    Reply +6
  • Hideo Kojima announces Metal Gear Solid 5: The Phantom Pain

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 27/03/2013

    ! Reply +23
  • Mighty Switch Force dev WayForward remaking Duck Tales for Capcom

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 22/03/2013


    Woah, is this Bizarro Eurogamer?
    Reply +5
  • Enter the Dominatrix will return to Saints Row 4 as DLC

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 22/03/2013

    So they took the ideas of the expansion pack and made it into a full game. Then said, "actually, we'll release that expansion pack and the game we had in the enhanced SR4 engine as a directors cut as a downloadable expansion pack"

    I fail to see what is wrong with this considering nerds have been crying about wanting expansion packs and not DLC for the last five years and when a company says "We're going to do an optional expansion pack after release" nerds start whining.

    I don't get this industry some days.
    Reply -10
  • Modders release high-res Sonic Unleashed PC conversion

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 21/03/2013


    The Shining Force thing was some wacky politics going on inside Sega Japan where a producer of the new Shining Force game was abusing Sega accounts to get all Shining Force videos taken down and putting the new game on top of all the search results and then you had a blowhard prick like TotalBiscuit winding the internet up on top of that. Even Sega's US branch didn't have a clue (Even though their PR was being polite as possible on that one.)

    Sega knew about it for months and their US branch is usually cool with things like this and the Sonic Retro community (Which has had people from Sega and Sumo Digital post over there). At the very least, they will wait till things get distributed before issuing the C&D (like with Streets Of Rage remake. If any other company's lawyers waited 5 days to do a C&D, they would be fired straight up. Sega let it get out and then protected the copyright. Clever girl) but I doubt they will run after this.

    Now, if someone can do a remake of Colours in the engine, things will get really interesting.
    Reply +4
  • Carmageddon: Reincarnation becomes a PS4 and next Xbox game as well

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 20/03/2013

    But will Charlie Brooker eat his arse again when it's wrongfully not declared game of the year? Reply +7
  • Double Fine's psychedelic Dropchord drops a trailer

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 20/03/2013

    Jeff Minter is currently stewing and shovelling out his lama pen, grumbling that Tim Schafer is nicking his shit. Reply +2
  • Sony changes "misogynistic" God of War: Ascension Trophy name

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 13/03/2013


    Well if you have a moronic audience that's ready to get up in arms about anyone daring to talk about deeper levels of it. Film, litarature and music have been studied to death about it and you don't get that sort of backlash because it's already being studied and put through a critical lens. Games haven't had that sort of scrutiny and the public can't process them like they can other media yet (And Antia Sarkserian's Train Wreck of a Youtube show is a load of shit that doesn't help matters). And then you have an entitled audience who only thinks games should be for them and anyone else is a threat to their special hobby.

    But then that's nerds for you. Freedom of speech is good unless it's women, LGBT, Black, asian, Irish etc complaining, who should totally shut up and stop interfering with their freedom of speech.
    Reply +2
  • Father mods Donkey Kong so his daughter can play as Pauline rescuing Mario

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 11/03/2013


    B-B-But if the MRA's don't complain about this man betraying all men everywhere by modding a videogame then the fempire wins! Boo hoo!
    Reply +3
  • Forget the Dead Island: Riptide pre-order incentives, what's happening with that awful Zombie Bait bikini torso edition?

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 03/03/2013


    Nah. I just hate crybaby shotlords like you who whinge "WHAT ABOUT THE MENZ" at the slightest reference to violence against women and cry about others wheeling out "Propaganda" when all they have is a deep seated hatred for anything that goes against their own selfish viewpoints and a grudge against the other gender (Which you are barely hiding).

    I'm making light of you and the others in this thread being the usual gaggle of selfish nerd shitlords who only want their videogames and damn anyone who brings them or the marketing tactics into question.

    Go cry into your Neil Strauss books about how the "fempire" is stopping you from enjoying your every day life.
    Reply -3
  • Ironic_War_Criminal 03/03/2013


    Hold on I can condense that down to a few words for you


    Fuck off back to Reddit.
    Reply -2
  • Ironic_War_Criminal 01/03/2013


    - "Boo hoo stop saying it's the women suffering!"
    - "Boo hoo women are not the majority!"

    That's some grade B MRA horseshit from a human shitlord. It's missing one "WHY ARENT THERE MENS SHELTERS IF WOMEN HAVE WOMENS SHELTERS. WAAAAAAH" from being grade A. Let me guess. Going to wheel out the diagrams, now? Whine on r/MRA and hope for backup?
    Reply +1
  • Ironic_War_Criminal 01/03/2013


    Oh look, Reddit "Boo hoo its men who are persecuted why not talk about the men!" talking points.

    Reply -2
  • Ironic_War_Criminal 01/03/2013


    Because that was a funny and intelligent marketing campaign that didn't rely on the objectification of violence against a group routinely persecuted and discriminated against with violence.

    Nerds gonna nerd and should fuck off to Reddit.
    Reply +3
  • Durango Kinect 2.0 specs leak

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 20/02/2013


    It's not like films where anybody can have a crack and come up with ideas

    Actually film is not something you can just have a crack at as its expensive to produce, even at low levels and heavily time invested. You need to be able to burn cash or be extremely good at it to be successful. It's no longer a case of just borrowing a DV cam or using a phone (And the phone would have to be an exceptional circumstance like the Iranian dissident who did a documentary on an iPhone because he legally couldn't have a camera).

    But you are extremely short sighted on claiming no one has ideas when many hackers and developers were finding uses for Kinect and developers themselves have to be committed to secrecy on this new Kinect anyway so you won't be finding ideas (And putting people on the spot for ideas is a somewhat stupid way of proving a point when videogames need a lot of thought to come up with the genesis of an idea). The thing is, YOU don't want a kinect because you don't want it and still want gaming to remain a passive experience and are afraid of it taking over resources while I'm interested to see where developers and hackers can take the technology.

    It's the fear of the unknown that blinds you and doesn't make you want to progress.
    Reply -7
  • Ironic_War_Criminal 20/02/2013


    I do 20 star jumps as soon as I get out of bed so sorry to ruin your stereotype.

    A) Holy shit. Kid, get that up to 100 ASAP. You can do much more. And then supplement that with a proper lifting or bodyweight and cardio routine.

    B) Apparently you are really mad calling me a Kinect fan because I called people fat nerds (Which to be fair, most people who complain about kinect are and would never touch the device in the first place)

    C) Kinect is a device that can read movement. It would be very suited to a horror game where you could focus on the environment and the game can tell where your eyes are and use that to build up scares. But then you are putting me on the spot for game ideas when I'm not a designer because you are ridiculously mad.

    D)No really, you can do better than 20. Go harder. Get better results.
    Reply -14
  • Ironic_War_Criminal 20/02/2013

    Fat and passive nerds still hate peripheral that requires movement. Mainstream journalists and politicians cackle in glee that old sterotypes can still be wheeled out. World keeps turning. Reply -11
  • SoulCalibur 5 sales aren't as strong as SoulCalibur 4's

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 06/02/2013

    Tekken Tag Tournament 2 punched up 1.35 million sales since its launch last September.

    Wow. Tekken used to be a series that could clear around 3 million without issue on a single platform. That's not very good at all. I suppose Bamco lucked out on profit with it. But damn.
    Reply +1
  • Capcom reduces Devil May Cry sales target by 800k

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 05/02/2013


    The problem is that going Parry only breaks a needed convention of the genre in letting the player create breathing room for themselves and considering how chaotic it gets, it gets very irritating very quickly trying to figure parries for each enemy and getting slammed each time you mess up. Witch Time in Bayonetta was a perfect mechanic since a dodge would get you out of trouble if you were cornered but timing it perfectly enabled Witch Time and creating even more breathing space and time tob get crazy. So there was ample risk/reward to the mechanic.

    I want to like it but combat just seems poorly thought out from the demo, which is surprising in a Platinum game. I'm hoping it's just because its an early demo that combat wasn't solidified yet.
    Reply 0
  • Ironic_War_Criminal 05/02/2013


    Whoever thought that the parry mechanic should have been mapped to your attack button has a special place in hell waiting for them and for a game based on reaction and movement, Raiden is really sluggish and imobile at times and it's really easy for enemies to gang up on you and stick you out of options other than to jump and hope they don't unleash a stun lock pain train since there's no good dodge move and you are relying on the game reading your parry correctly rather than attacking (And the timing seemed all over the shop in the demo). Hell, there isn't even a good area sweep move to get people to back off in the demo other than wasting some blade mode and even then that won't work on Gekkos which is extrodinarily irritating. I liked it but it irritated me far more than DmC did but for a game gaming to be about precision, it's rather scrappy and doesn't have a ton of movement options.

    DmC was basic compared to 3&4 (and easy) but had a lot of movement options and at least tried to give you options to get out and clear the area to give you breathing room if you needed it.

    I liked Revengance other than that in the demo. But I'm going to wait to see if the game has improved a bit in the full version instead of going for a day 1 purchase.
    Reply -5
  • Ironic_War_Criminal 05/02/2013

    Konami and Sony about to shit themselves royally because there simply is no more market for hack and slash (And Revengance is nowhere near Bayonetta quality from that Demo they did)

    Though it's funny watching the people who hate the game circle jerking about it since those numbers were just the console forecasts and don't hold the PC numbers. Capcom announcing in their Q4 that the game was profitable thanks to the steam release (And would continue to be profitable because of Steam) would probably cause a cataclysm of nerd rage that would threaten to engulf the internet.
    Reply -12
  • Devil May Cry 3 retrospective

  • Ironic_War_Criminal 29/01/2013


    Clearly they are not for me when I own the PS2 version of 3 and the HD Collection. Boy am I silly for buying them when Mr. Fanboy says I'm not "Cut out for them"

    And you side skipped the point anyway. Bayonetta and NG upped the ante considerably througout the game and brought in new enemy types in a excellently paced story mode that constantly challenges your combat skills. If you had maybe read the post instead of flapping your gums that the infidel dared to insult the holy DMC3 and needed to commit textual jihad straight away, you might have got that.

    DMC3 flatlines and remixes enemy waves for a few hours and doesn't bring anything new to the table till the Vergil fight. It's poorly paced and it's a valid criticism of a great but flawed game. Get your head out of your ass instead of getting mad at someone pointing out a flaw at a videogame.
    Reply -2