Marmite Page 2

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  • pjmaybe 14 Jun 2007 16:25:50 70,676 posts
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    Mapster wrote:
    Could someone please describe the taste for me?

    It's kinda like you'd imagine a well roasted joint of beef's rind tastes, but with a malty aftertaste.

    One of my female friends described it as being like giving a BJ to a really dirty old hobo who drinks too much horlicks to which I could only reply O_o

    Peej
  • smoothpete 14 Jun 2007 16:26:13 31,322 posts
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    I get free marmite and toast at work.

    Well, it should be 22p a slice, but there's never anyone there to pay
  • billythekid 14 Jun 2007 16:26:28 11,013 posts
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    Magic Panda wrote:
    Eating Marmite is worse than Coprophagia.

    /googles
    /pukes
  • LeoliansBro 14 Jun 2007 16:26:50 43,170 posts
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    cubbymoore wrote:
    Mapster wrote:
    Could someone please describe the taste for me?
    It's like licking the armpits of Charlize Theron as she clammers her naked breasts over your face and grinds into your groin with all the power her thigh muscles can give.

    Actually, that is both a more poetic and factually accurate description than mine.

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • Lutz 14 Jun 2007 16:26:53 48,854 posts
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    otto wrote:
    Where's that photo of me feeding a marmite sandwich to Khab at an early geekmeet?
    Steady! That's like a porn pic round these parts!
  • magicpanda 14 Jun 2007 16:27:13 13,256 posts
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    Mapster wrote:
    Could someone please describe the taste for me?

    Suck one of your own turds and wash it down with piss and you're getting close.
  • pjmaybe 14 Jun 2007 16:28:18 70,676 posts
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    smoothpete wrote:
    I get free marmite and toast at work.

    Well, it should be 22p a slice, but there's never anyone there to pay

    They charge 1.20 here for two slices of toast with one of those horrible little blisterpacks of marmite.

    Fucking disgraceful.

    Peej
  • kalel 14 Jun 2007 16:28:31 86,259 posts
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    Marmite is one of those things that is more than simple enjoyment. It's like your body needs it, it just feels right.
  • pjmaybe 14 Jun 2007 16:29:23 70,676 posts
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    Mapster wrote:
    Wow.

    You guys really love this stuff? I had a smell of it and it made me crinkle my nose.

    I'll bite the bullet and try it later. I'll butter some toast and spread a little on top.

    Do you like gravy Mappy? It's kinda like a congealed form of gravy.

    Peej
  • Grunk 14 Jun 2007 16:29:34 4,718 posts
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    pjmaybe wrote:
    Mapster wrote:
    Could someone please describe the taste for me?

    It's kinda like you'd imagine a well roasted joint of beef's rind tastes, but with a malty aftertaste.

    One of my female friends described it as being like giving a BJ to a really dirty old hobo who drinks too much horlicks to which I could only reply O_o

    Peej

    Did you immediately put on a sack-cloth and start drinking bed time juice in front of her?
  • LeoliansBro 14 Jun 2007 16:30:00 43,170 posts
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    nickthegun wrote:
    By the time this thread dies shouldnt we have about a 50/50 split?

    Leolian'sBro to collate votes and present them in some kind of pretty graph and/or powerpoint presentation.

    The conclusionwould likely be that 50% of the forum likes Marmite, and 50% are criminally insane genocidal sociopaths.

    Its that good.

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • ecureuil 14 Jun 2007 16:30:20 76,482 posts
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    Marmite is fucking disgusting. It's best described satan spunk in a jar, it seems most fitting.
  • nickthegun 14 Jun 2007 16:30:35 58,782 posts
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    pjmaybe wrote:
    Mapster wrote:
    Wow.

    You guys really love this stuff? I had a smell of it and it made me crinkle my nose.

    I'll bite the bullet and try it later. I'll butter some toast and spread a little on top.

    Do you like gravy Mappy? It's kinda like a congealed form of gravy.

    Peej

    Only if you make gravy with clagnuts and strain it through a pair of builders pants.

    ---------------------------------------------------------
    He totally called it

  • LeoliansBro 14 Jun 2007 16:31:59 43,170 posts
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    It needs white toast, it needs melted butter, and it needs a warm knife to avoid lumpen delivery. Oozing in with the butter FTUUUUUW.

    LB, you really are a massive geek.

  • Dougs 14 Jun 2007 16:32:25 66,611 posts
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    I've just remembered actually, when I was working in the job centre, I did this test one day. Someone sat at my desk to sign on, bugger asking them about work - "Do you like marmite?" Results were indeed about 50/50.

    Got some odd looks, but made the day go quicker. :)
  • pjmaybe 14 Jun 2007 16:33:01 70,676 posts
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    I love some of the descriptions of Marmite coming from the haters.

    So much more imaginative than the marmite lovers.

    Anyway, for my part I will describe it as being the only substance that works on the savoury parts of my tongue sufficiently enough to make them tingle.

    Peej
  • JuanKerr 14 Jun 2007 16:33:34 36,192 posts
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    Can I just say that Guiness Marmite is even better than regular marmite. Can quite explain why, but just try it - it's fucking sublime.

    / does sex wee
  • MrTomFTW Moderator 14 Jun 2007 16:33:40 37,302 posts
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    Mapster - if it's your first try, spread it THINLY on some nice toast. I love the stuff, but it'll put you right off if you try to eat it off a spoon.

    Follow me on Twitter: @MrTom
    Voted by the community "Best mod" 2011, 2012 and 2013.

  • cubbymoore 14 Jun 2007 16:34:59 36,468 posts
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    Table spoon of Marmite FTW.
  • billythekid 14 Jun 2007 16:35:25 11,013 posts
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    Slap it on there Mappy, you want to be able to taste it!
  • pjmaybe 14 Jun 2007 16:35:30 70,676 posts
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    JuanKerr wrote:
    Can I just say that Guiness Marmite is even better than regular marmite. Can quite explain why, but just try it - it's fucking sublime.

    / does sex wee

    Innit though.

    No alcohol content which is a shame but it seems to have a really nice bite to it.

    Oh and if you're a marmite wuss, you could try the slightly less spicy and less potent vegemite. But that's for girls and aussies.


    Peej
  • JuanKerr 14 Jun 2007 16:35:33 36,192 posts
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    DDevil wrote:
    Mapster - if it's your first try, spread it THINLY on some nice toast. I love the stuff, but it'll put you right off if you try to eat it off a spoon.

    I quite agree. Spread thinly is even what the geniuses at Marmite advise you to do on the jar

    / build shrine to Marmite
  • boo 14 Jun 2007 16:36:08 11,703 posts
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    Marmite - nectar of the gods.
    But never, never with butter.


    Cheese & Marmite Whirls

    15 mins prep.
    15 mins baking.

    1 x packet of ready rolled puff pastry (usually 400g give-or-take-a-bit)
    40g finely grated parmesan plus a bit more for dusting
    75g grated cheddar
    1 beaten egg
    marmite


    Preheat the oven to 200 C (not sure what gas mark this is - 6, I think)
    Spread the marmite thinly over one side of the pastry, right up to the edges. Go easy on it otherwise they'll make your eyes water!
    Mix the grated cheddar & parmesan in a bowl and sprinkle evenly over the marmite.
    Roll the pastry up from the long edge, so you get a long thin sausage.
    Brush all over with beaten egg and sprinkle with the remaining parmesan.
    Cut into even pieces about 1 - 1 cm wide - I normally get 16 pieces.
    Place flat on a baking tray and gently squash each one a little with the flat of your hand.
    Bake for 12 - 15 mins.
    Place on a rack to cool.

    They taste great warm, fine cold and will keep for about 2 days in a tupperware box.

    Just Another Lego Blog

  • magicpanda 14 Jun 2007 16:36:14 13,256 posts
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    They make it in giant warehouses packed full of fattened battery cats. There are literally miles upon miles of intricate conveyor belts collecting the all cat poos which are then mashed into huge bubbling mixing vats.

    They say that the noise and smell in the factories will drive any normal man completely insane within 13 minutes.
  • kalel 14 Jun 2007 16:36:24 86,259 posts
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    Nah, it's a subtle flavour. Best to go heavy at first.
  • JuanKerr 14 Jun 2007 16:36:37 36,192 posts
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    boo wrote:
    Marmite - nectar of the gods.
    But never, never with butter.


    What? You have it 'raw'?
  • CaptainSpank 14 Jun 2007 16:36:40 9 posts
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    Marmite is great - it's like an edible lubricant
  • Deleted user 14 June 2007 16:36:45
    Dig in a knife, twirl it around and take out a dollop, plop it on toast, put marmite in fridge, eat toast, take marmite out fridge and thrust your cock directly into the hole created by the knife.
  • FairgroundTown 14 Jun 2007 16:38:27 2,522 posts
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    I had to "down" a table-spoon of Marmite at a student party once (don't ask!) and although I've eaten it practically every day of my life (except for 1 year "cold turkey" when I was living in Atlanta) a whole table-spoon all-at-once was quite horrible.
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