Depression Page 119

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  • Progguitarist 31 Mar 2013 15:57:27 10,401 posts
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    No point. It's not going to change anything.
  • Deleted user 31 March 2013 16:24:00
    Reach for the skies.

    Climb every mountain, swim every sea.
  • ZuluHero 31 Mar 2013 18:09:59 4,023 posts
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    Progguitarist wrote:
    No point. It's not going to change anything.
    I'm in a slump too. I think it must be the crappy weather or something. I just walk around in a daze sighing to myself mournfully. I never think life is pointless though, even though it does feel that way to me too ATM. I always keep hold of all the positive and exciting stuff that makes me feel great, which I think is key for keeping perspective and finding your way back out of the slump, especially when depression is such a self perpetuating downwards spiral, its very easy to get lost in the labyrinth of emotion or apathy.

    I know I'll snap out of it in a few days - i can feel a cry coming on, then after that things will be peachy again. I wish I could cry more often, rather than let it get like a valve building pressure, but alas it eludes me.

    Hope you feel more like yourself again soon.

    Edited by ZuluHero at 18:10:46 31-03-2013
  • SlimSpudly87 31 Mar 2013 21:15:46 72 posts
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    So a couple of months ago I posted in here saying how I felt. Things have not improved, silver lining and all that is complete bollocks. I've tried to live my life positively and seem to be dragged down all the time. I could never contemplate suicide, the thought of my niece and nephew never knowing me is terrible. None of my friends want to know me any more, so I don't really have anyone to turn to.

    The constant flight and fight is driving me to the point of no return :(
  • localnotail 31 Mar 2013 21:22:47 23,093 posts
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    Progguitarist wrote:
    In the space of 2 weeks I've gone from being a happy, creative, fulfilled person to wishing my life was over.
    You've had a big shock recently with your wife's cancer scare, and even though her prognosis looks really good, you've still had a lot of worry to handle and it has made you think about how bad things could get. That's very understandably depressing. Things can get better again though, in time. You must be pretty tired though, right now, being so tense for the past few weeks. I know it's hard but you need to let some light back in if you can find it, accentuate the positive and all that.

    tldr: Chin up, *hugs*

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • MightyMouse 31 Mar 2013 22:51:10 1,127 posts
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    SlimSpudly87 wrote:
    So a couple of months ago I posted in here saying how I felt. Things have not improved, silver lining and all that is complete bollocks. I've tried to live my life positively and seem to be dragged down all the time. I could never contemplate suicide, the thought of my niece and nephew never knowing me is terrible. None of my friends want to know me any more, so I don't really have anyone to turn to.

    The constant flight and fight is driving me to the point of no return :(
    Sorry to hear it. Suicidal thoughts can just come from nowhere, don't feel bad about that but remember that when you can think clearly you know you don't want to do it, and trust that rational you. Though I don't know your situation well, you need to be able to talk to someone. If you can't talk to friends, talk to family. If you can't talk to them, tell your GP and get them to send you to a support group. Hope you feel better soon.
  • OptimusPube 1 Apr 2013 05:59:43 2,909 posts
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    You better watch out.
    You better beware.
    Albert said E=MC˛

  • Deleted user 20 April 2013 00:28:23
    I'm going through an utterly shitty time now despite having it all worked out a few weeks ago. I just turned 30 and i realised that i'm just not normal and i've not had the kind of life that most people have.

    I haven't had any meaningful contact with a woman in 7ish years and it's just breaking me because it's the only thing i actually want in my life. All my friends/family are getting their lives sorted and pairing off with people and getting married. Not a single thing i have matters a fuck to me and i'd give it all up to have someone who gave a shit about me. I tried online dating but it's literally the worst thing ever and i ain't going back there.

    I'm madly in love with a girl that i'm really close friends with but she's getting with another friend of mine who is utterly wrong for her (she has a kid from a horribly failed previous relationship with a guy who is nigh on identical to this guy and she's going to get her heart broken all over again). I'm trying to keep my mouth shut about it because saying anything just makes her try to prove a point and she already has him on a pedestal anyway.

    I'm an utter fucking mess most of the time and i'm just beaten down and don't give a fuck about anything. I'm drinking alone at home an awful lot and i'm just despairing that any attempt to get myself out of this hole fails miserably.

    The joy is gone out of my life (except when i'm around that particular girl and her son) and i feel like i'm going through the motions.
  • Deleted user 20 April 2013 01:03:54
    I'd be all on board with the whole "to hell with her" bit but she is genuinely a great friend and has been for years and she is having a tough time of things because her kid is only a year old and she she works full time despite being a single mother. I'm doing my best to be there for her because she's been really good to me over the years.

    I'm awful at meeting women hence the whole online dating thing. I just feel trapped in an utterly shitty life and nothing i do to improve it seems to work. I try and fail and it just utterly destroys me.
  • Jacksie66 20 Apr 2013 01:06:25 572 posts
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    spudsbuckley wrote:
    I'm going through an utterly shitty time now despite having it all worked out a few weeks ago. I just turned 30 and i realised that i'm just not normal and i've not had the kind of life that most people have.

    I haven't had any meaningful contact with a woman in 7ish years and it's just breaking me because it's the only thing i actually want in my life. All my friends/family are getting their lives sorted and pairing off with people and getting married. Not a single thing i have matters a fuck to me and i'd give it all up to have someone who gave a shit about me. I tried online dating but it's literally the worst thing ever and i ain't going back there.

    I'm madly in love with a girl that i'm really close friends with but she's getting with another friend of mine who is utterly wrong for her (she has a kid from a horribly failed previous relationship with a guy who is nigh on identical to this guy and she's going to get her heart broken all over again). I'm trying to keep my mouth shut about it because saying anything just makes her try to prove a point and she already has him on a pedestal anyway.

    I'm an utter fucking mess most of the time and i'm just beaten down and don't give a fuck about anything. I'm drinking alone at home an awful lot and i'm just despairing that any attempt to get myself out of this hole fails miserably.

    The joy is gone out of my life (except when i'm around that particular girl and her son) and i feel like i'm going through the motions.
    Chin up dude. It'll all work out. I was in a similar boat. I thought my life was shit and going nowhere, seeing all my friends working and hooking up with women. I was sinking into a hole of depression.  I havent worked properly in about 3 years and thought this was my lot. I realised that I wasnt go to let this shit beat me. I sold my car and bought myself a plane ticket to new Zealand.  I now have something to look forward to. I feel a hell of a lot better in myself and am looking forward to a new challenge in life.
    Anyway, dont let it get to you man. Chin up and itll all work out in the end..
  • Psychotext 20 Apr 2013 01:10:52 53,849 posts
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    sajasanman's basically right, you need to introduce completely new things into your life. Try a part time course or taster for some sort of hobby that you wouldn't have seen yourself doing. You'll meet new people naturally that way and it'll help pull you out of your rut.
  • Khanivor 20 Apr 2013 02:08:56 40,401 posts
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    If there's someone out of reach doing your head in then getting the duck out of dodge could be a good idea.
  • DigitalDelay 22 Apr 2013 22:01:28 216 posts
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    Sorry about this, but I decided to delete my ramblings. Posting it didn't really sit well with me and didn't really contribute much anyway. I'm also trying not to dwell on things at the moment.

    Edited by DigitalDelay at 23:18:25 23-04-2013
  • DrStrangelove 22 Apr 2013 23:59:17 3,372 posts
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    @spudsbuckley

    I hear ye, I'm in a pretty similar situation, and am approaching my 31th birthday btw. 30th birthday is a nasty bitch. And watching great women, often close ones, reliably choosing complete arseholes over you isn't very good for self-confidence.

    I'd say leave her alone and try to get another one, unfortunately I'm stuck in the same mess and can't get out of it either, so I'm in no position to give advice.

    I'll keep trying though, because there's no choice really.

    So what am I trying to say? No idea. Maybe just that I hear ye. If that's worth anything.

    Edited by DrStrangelove at 00:16:29 23-04-2013
  • DrStrangelove 23 Apr 2013 00:14:36 3,372 posts
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    @DigitalDelay

    I think anxiety or depression remains with you at least in the sense that you'll never be the same that you once were. I'm not sure if I'd want to make it all unhappen, because for all the bad, in those times I learned quite a lot, and became wiser in many regards (even though that's rarely reflected in my comments here).

    I know exactly what you mean with not being able to let go of even the most insignificant shit that happened to you. It's difficult to remind yourself that you're being too black-sighted, and that you should allow yourself to value positive "trivialities" just as much as negative ones, when that's just not what you feel like.

    I don't know if "nasty folk" don't have that either, if they're just really insensitive or simply suppress it, but I met some violent arseholes who seemed to have a horribly broken heart. There's actually a poster boy for that, Niklas Kvarforth of swedish suicidal metal band Shining, and among his fans I witnessed quite a few who felt similarly.

    But yes, you should be a bit proud of yourself if you keep being a "good guy/gal" if life's just throwing feces at you.

    Sorry, I have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm obviously drunk right now.

    Edited by DrStrangelove at 00:21:40 23-04-2013
  • FWB 23 Apr 2013 00:20:16 43,852 posts
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    Not sure getting into a relationship when you yourself aren't even sorted is particularly wise. In fact I'd say it is horribly wrong. Being with someone isn't going to make everything suddenly perfect. It is cliched, but I like the phrase that "S/he doesn't complete you. You complete you. S/he is just the icing on the cake." I'd also keep in mind that there is never ONE person out there for you, and you will not just love once. Your heart isn't a single entity that can only have immense feelings for one person.

    Not sure that helps much, but I'd say you need to get yourself sorted before even dreaming of meeting of someone. And nice you have you will see it is pretty easy to do so.
  • DrStrangelove 23 Apr 2013 00:22:39 3,372 posts
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    @FWB

    A relationship can never fix your problems, but it can help quite a lot.

    If it's a good one of course, otherwise it can make things much worse. It's just my experience that a good relationship can give you motivation and strength to sort out shit.

    Edited by DrStrangelove at 00:25:52 23-04-2013
  • Deleted user 23 April 2013 00:46:16
    Post deleted
  • DigitalDelay 23 Apr 2013 12:54:15 216 posts
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    Sorry, another delete, seems to be a trend?
    Thanks DrStrangelove by the way.

    Edited by DigitalDelay at 13:04:32 23-04-2013

    Edited by DigitalDelay at 23:22:12 23-04-2013
  • Deleted user 27 April 2013 22:03:41
    I'm doing a little better now. I sort of broke down to the friend i have feelings for on the phone the other night and it was rather cathartic. She sort of knew and she was very understanding without pandering to me just to shut me up. I needed that.

    I've started looking at things a little differently now and i realise that jealousy is the main thing that leads to me getting depressed. I'm slowly letting it go because i honestly can't change the world just by being pissed off/sad about what other people have. I'm going to be the best friend i can to her because i realised that it gives me a good deal of peace and it's calms me down immensely. Nothing will change that.

    I hope this isn't just another up before another crashing down. It feels different this time. I feel "free" in my mind for the first time in a long time. I'm still a little bit at a loose end but i think that will fix itself in time once i get right with myself.

    I love that i barely post about gaming here anymore :D Also, this thread displays all fucked up. a couple of pages of posts just popped into existence when i posted :/

    Edited by spudsbuckley at 22:05:07 27-04-2013
  • whatthefu 3 May 2013 21:17:05 853 posts
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    Been having a difficult time.
    I have alienated so many people on my course. It's actually my severe emotional problems that make me so angry at people.
    I know I find it hard not to be bitter.
    Problem is I saw stuff that wasn't even there, my paranoia makes me relive the past over and over.

    It's really destroyed my confidence by having them hate me, to the extent where I'm angry at everyone and don't want to be hurt again.
    The one friendship I did have has ended, so now I feel really alone and miserable really.
  • MightyMouse 9 May 2013 01:02:01 1,127 posts
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    I'm sure people have linked this podcast in the past, but I only just got around to listening to this episode and it's really great.

    http://mentalpod.com/Maria-Bamford-podcast
  • MightyMouse 9 May 2013 01:02:01 1,127 posts
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    Post deleted
  • localnotail 9 May 2013 01:08:16 23,093 posts
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    /fix
    /cake and tea for all

    A strange game. The only winning move is not to play.

  • Deleted user 9 May 2013 22:42:34
    Bit of an odd one today. I've been spending a good bit of time with the girl i'm mad about and her kid over the past few days just being friends and whatnot.

    I got utterly fucking obliterated Saturday night because i was going to be at a friends thirtieth and her and the guy who she is getting with were there as well. Cut myself off a nice little slice of oblivion and got the most drunk i've ever been so i didn't have to see them together and remember it. She came out to my house the next day with another good friend of mine and it was just friendly banter about the events of the night but i felt she might have sensed what i was at the previous night.

    I spent all day Tuesday with her and her son because it was her birthday and i wanted to treat her and be with her and whatnot. She brought up the other guy at one stage and said he was largely irrelevant to her life beyond sex and i told her we shouldn't talk about him because i would get wound up and ruin the nice day we were having. Everything was great after that and we had a great time.

    She dropped in to my work today and we spent around an hour in her car chatting while her little lad was napping. It was just small talk and stuff until she brought him up again and she started saying that it was hard to be my friend while i got pissed about this guy who she considers to be peripheral to her "real" life. She basically said that i'm just annoyed that he gets to sleep with her. She said that we'll never happen and she knows i'm holding on to hope for something in years to come. It all came out of leftfield because i honestly though things were getting sort of normal with us. I was stunned going around work for the rest of the day and i don't know were i stand with her.

    I was genuinely coming to terms with the fact that i'll never have her and i'll just be the best friend i can be but this was all just so much. It feels like she brings him up and then gets annoyed at me for responding in a way that i feel is honest.

    He's not a bad guy, we were best friends for about 15 years but some stuff happened a few years ago that he admitted he was in the wrong about. He is just the absolute wrong person for her.

    Bizarre stuff really.
  • Deleted user 16 May 2013 22:41:43
    This thread is turning into my personal blog :)

    Doing much better now. I'm used to the idea that i'll only be friends with this girl and just accepting that she isn't for me and she'll do whatever she wants one way or the other.

    We hung around today for the evening at her place and it just feels more relaxed and it's back to the way we were years ago as just being friends. She brought the other guy up again and i had a proper conversation with her about it and realised she's happy with him so i'd be a bit of an asshole to be negative about it because it's one of the things that is going right for her in her life at the moment.

    Plenty more fish in the sea and when i got thinking about it realistically i came to the conclusion me and her being together would be an utter disaster anyway and if (when) it went wrong we'd never speak to each other again.
  • mal 19 May 2013 22:22:42 22,340 posts
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    Seems the Danes have been busy doing research into depression and SSRIs, according to the ScienceNordic website.

    First, an a meta-analysis of so called 'antidepressant discontinuation syndrome' has been conduced by some Copenhagenites and found that actually, modern SSRIs are just as much addictive as older depression medicines.

    Secondly, a different Dane in Aarhus has been writing his thesis about the public perceptions of depression. Not sure how useful this article is to the common man, but I guess identifying how people think of depression and depressed people is the first step towards changing perceptions.

    Thirdly, it's back to Copenhagen for an article about how SSRIs are thought to work (or don't, depending on the individual) and what's coming next from big pharma (or more accurately, isn't, because in his opinion they've pretty much given up).

    Cubby didn't know how to turn off sigs!

  • mal 19 May 2013 22:29:58 22,340 posts
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    Oh, and Allie over at Hyperbole and a Half has written another depression article about growing up depressed. Less of a feelgood article this time round, but an enlightening read even so.

    Cubby didn't know how to turn off sigs!

  • RedSparrows 20 May 2013 11:10:36 22,069 posts
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    spudsbuckley wrote:
    This thread is turning into my personal blog :)

    Doing much better now. I'm used to the idea that i'll only be friends with this girl and just accepting that she isn't for me and she'll do whatever she wants one way or the other.

    We hung around today for the evening at her place and it just feels more relaxed and it's back to the way we were years ago as just being friends. She brought the other guy up again and i had a proper conversation with her about it and realised she's happy with him so i'd be a bit of an asshole to be negative about it because it's one of the things that is going right for her in her life at the moment.

    Plenty more fish in the sea and when i got thinking about it realistically i came to the conclusion me and her being together would be an utter disaster anyway and if (when) it went wrong we'd never speak to each other again.
    All good things. Would it be a good idea, if possible, to extricate yourself from her life a bit. Not sever contact perhaps, but I dunno, go away for a few weeks, do something new?

    When I was in a slump, partially lady related, I got over a mental block, as it sounds you have, and then I smashed all chance of it returning in full by immediately doing lots of new things - simple things, nothing dramatic like a round the world tour, but things to ensure my routine didn't fall into old patterns that were clouded by bad, bad feelings.
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